Dreams Fulfilled
by Ellwyndara
Summary: Commander Elly Shepard and Dr. Liara T'Soni are recently married and expecting their first child. Now living on Thessia this story will cover the ups and downs of work, marriage and family.
1. Chapter 1

Three months have passed since Shepard and Liara were married. The Mass Relay field testing proved successful; Shepard and Liara were one of the first groups of people to travel through them when they were officially opened to the public.

They found a beautiful three story home on Thessia near Armali where Liara grew up. The house has five bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. The kitchen is a very nice size with two ovens, breakfast bar and the best appliances. The master bedroom is one of the largest rooms in the house with an attached master bath which is larger than Shepard's quarters on the Normandy. It has a whirlpool bath with jets, a separate shower, toilet and two sinks. The house itself is situated on 10 acres of land, but Shepard insisted on buying the surrounding lots as well. Liara felt this was a bit extreme, but when Shepard explained that they could prevent others from building near them and how long they plan on living in the home she agreed it seemed reasonable. They definitely had privacy, but were only ten minutes away by sky car from stores, restaurants, and the theatre, anything they needed or felt like doing, so they were not completely isolated.

Garrus helped with the move before he went home to Palaven. Tali and the Quarian fleet were the first through the mass relay after field testing. She is now with her people building a home on Rannoch. Wrex and Grunt returned to Tuchanka.

Shepard and Liara have been in their new home for almost a month now. The first room they set up after their bedroom was for Liara for her work as the Shadow Broker, duties she splits with Feron. Work has picked up now that the mass relays are working. Three of the four walls of the room are covered with monitors. Shepard refused to allow a bed in the room because she had a sneaking suspicion if there was one she would see less and less of the asari in their own bed, something Shepard would not compromise. Still it was more often than Shepard liked where she would find Liara sleeping in the comfy chair in the corner or slumped over a keyboard.

Shepard has been training with the asari commandos to get in battle shape before starting her work with the Alliance which is just one week away. Her nightmares have come back with a vengeance in frequency and intensity as the date to return to work approaches. She just chalks it up to nerves. Shepard still has no memory of anything after hitting the beam that shot her to the Citadel. All she remembers is the circular room with her, the Illusive Man and Anderson. A part of her is relieved that Liara sometimes falls asleep while working because Shepard wakes from a nightmare drenched in sweat with the bed sheets all strewn about. She feels more comfortable with her torture nightmares, where she is tied to a table helpless while the man cuts into her. Shepard still refuses to know his name; she doesn't want to know anything about the man who wanted her to suffer. She prefers the torture nightmares over her reaper nightmares any day, but still, she wished they would just stop all together. The one man that was still free, the man that planned her kidnapping, Kane, was still unaccounted for. Ashley was still charged for looking for him, but it was on the back burner as she had other assignments from the Council. With the mass replays back in action, things seemed to be getting back to normal.

Liara was working in her secure room at the house. Looking over the various monitors, Glyph her personal assistant VI informed her that she had a call from Thessia medical.

"Hello this is Dr. T'Soni,"

"Yes hello Dr. T'Soni. I wanted to let you know that Commander Shepard has been injured," said the voice.

"What?"

"She is just fine Dr. T'Soni, there was an accident during field drills, she will need a ride home and should be ready to leave within the hour."

"Okay thank you, I will be right there." Liara quickly called Feron to let him know that she would not be working the rest of the day or likely tomorrow. She had no idea what type of injury Shepard had, but wanted to be available to her if needed. Liara secured the room then left the house to get her bondmate.

Approaching Shepard's room Liara noticed two asari standing outside; one looked to be a doctor.

"Dr. T'Soni," said one of them.

A little out of breath due to hurrying down the hall, she said "Yes."

"I am Dr. T'Dolk, I treated the commander," she said as she extended her hand.

Liara took it, her eyes looking at the other asari that stood a few paces behind the doctor. She looked like a commando. The asari nodded to her when Liara met her eyes. "How bad?" Liara asked the doctor.

"She has a broken arm which is being reconstructed right now, bruised ribs and a mild concussion. She should be ready to leave in about thirty minutes. If you will excuse me, I will be back to take off the reconstruction device on her arm but I have other patients I must attend to."

"Of course, thank you doctor." Liara looked at the commando wondering how this happened. As if reading her mind the commando stepped closer.

"Dr. T'Soni?"

"Yes."

"My name is Valya. I am Commander Shepard's training partner."

"Please call me Liara. Can you tell me what happened Valya?"

The commando looked about the same age as Liara, well built, confident, but at this moment Liara saw in her sadness and uncertainty.

Not quite looking at her Valya replied, "We were doing our morning biotic exercises. Where we pair up and throw different abilities at each other. I throw a shockwave, she is supposed to shield it and vice versa."

Liara could tell the commando was nervous. She placed her hand on her shoulder until she looked at Liara. "It's okay, just tell me what happened."

Swallowing, the commando continued, "Well we were doing that for about five minutes. She and I shielding everything each other threw, no big deal. Then we started throwing with more force. I threw a shockwave at her and she just stood there."

Confused Liara asked, "What do you mean 'stood there'?"

"Just that. She seemed lost in thought, she was looking right through me, like she didn't see me at all. Then I saw…"

"You saw what Vayla?"

"She look…looked terrified. She didn't shield herself at all. The nearby Instructor happened to be looking at us when this occurred. She was able to shield the commander but not fully. My shockwave hit her and she was thrown in the wall where she was knocked unconscious." The commando started to tear up. "I am so sorry Dr. T'Soni, it was an accident."

Liara placed her hand again on Vayla's shoulder. "It's okay Vayla."

Composing herself she spoke, "I have really enjoyed being her partner; she is very capable with her biotics. I just don't understand what happened. We have been doing these drills for days, we had our routine. If I had used more power I …."

"Vayla, look at me."

Vayla hesitatingly looked at the infamous Dr. Liara T'Soni.

"If you say it was an accident then it was an accident." The commando nodded. "Now if you will excuse me I am going to check on my bondmate."

"Of course. I need to get back to training, if you need anything please let me know, here is my information."

Liara input the information into her omni-tool then entered the room.

As she entered the room for a split second Liara was looking at her broken bondmate after the kidnapping. Pushing the memory from her mind Liara approached the bed. "Elly?"

Opening her eyes Elly looked at Liara, "Hey."

"Hey yourself," Shepard looked so tired. Liara knew her nightmares had returned. Knew the commander was not sleeping well, she could see the dark circles under her eyes as she leaned in to kiss her on the cheek.

"So I guess I screwed up huh," said Elly.

Liara ignored the question. "How are you feeling?"

"A little groggy. Ribs are a bit sore, but the arm should be good as new soon, how are you feeling Liara?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, you slept in your room again last night; I'm worried you are not getting enough sleep."

"I could say the same to you Elly."

Elly broke eye contact which Liara. Liara was about to ask about the accident when the doctor came in the room.

"Okay, the device is done, you ready to get your arm back commander?" asked Dr. T'Dolk.

"Yep."

The doctor removed the outer casing then the main casing of the device and set it down. "I have your prescriptions here. Please take two tonight then as needed for pain after that. You were very lucky commander; by the sounds of it this could have been much worse." Shepard did not reply. "Do either of you have any questions?"

"How soon can I return to training?" asked Shepard. Liara bit her tongue.

"I would say a couple of days give your ribs and head a chance to heal. You can stop by for a checkup in let's say three days. If you check out, then I will clear you."

"Thanks Doc," said Shepard. The doctor left the room. There was a silence in the air, neither one of them spoke. Shepard grabbed her prescriptions and got off the bed, swaying a little as she stood. Liara reached for her to steady her, happy that Shepard did not push her away.

"Can you walk?" asked Liara.

"Yeah, I got it, thanks," said Shepard. Liara still held her arm to help steady her as they left the hospital.

* * *

Liara did not press Shepard on the ride home. It was clear Elly was not ready to talk about the accident plus she was nearly sleeping when the car landed at home. Liara lightly touched her shoulder, "Elly, we're home."

Shepard opened her eyes after a few blinks. Liara moved around the sky car and opened her door to help her out. Escorting her to the bedroom Liara said, "Why don't you get some sleep Elly. We can talk about what happened when you wake up okay?"

Elly did not answer; Liara knew how tired she was. Liara helped her undress, helped her put her nightshirt on and tucked her into bed. "You sleep well Shepard," she said as she leaned down and kissed her on the lips. Shepard was out the minute her head hit the pillow.

Shepard was standing ready for the shockwave Vayla was going to throw. As she saw it come barreling towards her it changed somehow. She was suddenly seeing a large red beam coming at her where there was no escape. She knew it was going to hurt when it hit her, she had no choice but to let it, she could not move. She was engulfed in the red beam that shot from the reaper. Her skin was on fire then it wasn't. Her armor gone, melted off, the hair on her arms gone. She could smell burning flesh and realized it was her own. Suddenly she was in a hallway, dead bodies lined up for for what seemed miles. Beaten and battered Shepard moved as best she could through the hallway. She heard a voice. _Anderson?_ _But how? How did he get up here?_

Making her way up a ramp Shepard saw a circular room. There was a form standing at a console. _Who is that, am I dreaming, what is this place? _As she made her way to the top of the ramp onto the circular platform she could not move. Her mind was willing her to move but her body was not responding. Suddenly a sharp pain hit her head she buckled under it. She couldn't see straight, and then there he was. He brushed up against her shoulder as he passed her the Illusive Man.

_What is going on, I don't understand, why is he here? If that is the Illusive Man then who is…._

* * *

Shepard woke with a jolt yelling Anderson's name. Liara quickly entered the room, "Elly, you're okay you're safe, you were dreaming."

Elly felt a shiver crawl through her body. Her ribs ached and her head was pounding. She moved her legs off the bed to sit, hands on her head.

"It's okay Elly you were dreaming," said Liara as she sat next to her rubbing her back. "You're okay now."

Elly didn't say much at first. Wanted to gather her thoughts on what she just dreamt. The hallway was new, she doesn't remember seeing all of the dead bodies before and now she definitely knew that Anderson was with her, but how she did now know.

"He was there Liara, Anderson was there."

"On the Citadel?"

"Yes, but I don't understand how, I can't remember, damn it!" she let out a soft moan as her head did not like that it was no longer on the pillow.

"Why don't you lay back down Elly." Without responding Elly allowed herself to be guided back down on the bed. Liara left for a moment and returned with a cool wash cloth to put over Shepard's eyes.

"Liara I was stupid today," said Elly as she pressed the washcloth on her eyes and forehead.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"It's hard to explain. I was waiting for Vayla to send her shockwave and then suddenly it wasn't a shockwave anymore."

It was hard to read the commanders face since she was holding the washcloth over it. Liara placed her hand on the commander's, "What do you mean Elly?"

Moving the washcloth on her forehead, Shepard placed both of her hands over Liara's as she tried to look at her, but the light in the room hurt her eyes. "It changed somehow. I didn't see it anymore."

Liara pressed, "What did you see?"

"It was like my dream. I saw the red beam coming, heard that deafening noise and I couldn't move. No matter what I just could not move, I just stood there and let it hit me."

To think she could have lost her bondmate to a stupid training exercise was one thing, but having Shepard imagine something that was not happening was another. Liara was very alarmed and she was happy that Shepard had her eyes closed so she could not see her expression.

Shepard sensed the tension from Liara, she opened her eyes and propped herself up on her elbow. "Hey."

Liara composing herself simply replied, "Hey."

Shepard could see the concern in the asari's face. "Okay, I will see her."

Liara was shocked. She was hoping Elly would start seeing Psychiatrist Dr. Linda Snowden. It was a name Liara received from Dr. Reed when she informed him they were moving near Armali. Dr. Reed was the physician that helped Shepard during her hospitalization from being tortured. Smiling Liara said, "I think that is a good idea Elly."

"I guess," she said with a heavy heart. "I'm not gonna like it, but that can't happen again. I could get someone killed, myself included. I am sorry Liara, I never thought something like this would happen. I mean who's nightmares actually bleed into real life, it's like a bad vid or something." Shepard laid back down as her throbbing head was not letting up.

"It may be the best thing for you right now. Perhaps you should rethink your start date with the Alliance."

"No way Liara," Elly said. "I need to get back to work."

Liara didn't want to argue, she of course wanted her bondmate home safe. But she knew the reason why she loved the commander so much is because of who she is, what she does, how she helps people. Liara knew it was not fair to make her stop even though she desperately wanted her to. "I just meant Elly, that you need to be fully recovered before you start," Liara tried to sound matter of fact, tried to not let emotion get in the way.

"Of course Liara… full…recov...ery…" Shepard slipped back into sleep.

With a light peck to Elly's cheek, Liara left her to sleep as she headed for the family room.

Liara wanted to take things into her own hands, she wanted to call Admiral Hackett to inform him of her recent injuries, but she knew it was not her place but she was worried. Instead she called Dr. Karin Chakwas.

"Hello Liara how are you?"

"I am well thank you Karin. Do you have a few minutes to talk?"

"Sure Liara, let me just….hang on," Chakwas got herself into a secure area as to not be overheard. She was on the Normandy checking over supplies. Commander Shepard was going to be onboard in a week and the crew was getting the ship ready.

"What is it Liara, are you alright?"

"Yes. I am… worried about Shepard."

"Oh?"

"Please keep this between us Karin, she would not be pleased if she knew I was calling you."

"Of course, what is going on?"

"She had an accident today during training," before the doctor could ask more Liara quickly said, "She's okay, nothing serious. She broke her arm, which has been fixed already, bruised her ribs and has a mild concussion."

"Okay, how did that happen?" asked the doctor. She does not remember a time when Shepard was injured during training, injured during missions of course, but never training.

"After talking to Shepard it seems as if she froze. She didn't see the shockwave coming toward her; she instead saw the red beam from a reaper, one she dreams about. Have you ever heard of such a thing, where someone freezes thinking they see something not there?" asked Liara.

"Well yes, but not from a nightmare. Often soldiers suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). They see or hear something that happened during a traumatic time and they flash back as if they are there in that event even when they are not."

"And you think this is what happened to Elly?"

"It sounds like it, but I am not sure. Has she not been sleeping well?"

"No, her nightmares seem to be getting worse as the date she returns to work approaches."

"Hmm. I am not an expert Liara, but it sounds as if she may be anxious about returning, perhaps fearful even. Have you talked about it?"

"When she wants to talk about it," said Liara unable to hide her frustration. "She did just have one where she is convinced Anderson was with her on the Citadel."

"Well that's good," said Chakwas.

"What do you mean?"

"She is remembering more. I think this is a good sign." Not sure what the asari wants from her the doctor just asks, "What do you want me to do Liara?"

"I am not quite sure Karin," I guess I just needed someone to talk to. "Shepard does have a doctor here that will check her out before she is allowed to resume training."

"Don't forget Liara, she has a checkup with me as well at the end of the week. She has to pass that before the Alliance will let her resume her duties."

"Of course, I did forget that. Thank you Karin, I am sorry to bother you. I just needed a friend."

"I am here for you Liara, for both of you. Please don't ever hesitate to call me, I am happy to help."

"Thank you Karin." Liara disconnected the call.

_Goddess what do I do? Just be there for her, it will be enough. Why does this have to happen now, things have been so good, why must something always come up to steal our happiness? It's not stolen. Once Elly remembers everything it will be alright. What if she never remembers, Goddess. Have faith Liara._


	2. Chapter 2

Shepard entered, her feet stepping onto a missed comfort as she boarded the Normandy after an almost eight month absence. She got her check up from the asari doctor Dr. T'Dolk to resume training exercises with the asari commandoes earlier in the week and of course with her Alliance military doctor Dr. Chakwas. Stepping on board now, seeing everyone saluting her Shepard felt at home. She felt a small pang of guilt at the thought since Liara was her home and was not with her. Shepard could not describe the feeling she was having, to her she just felt like she was back. That the war, the pain, the torture, was somehow behind her now. That something new was going to start and she couldn't wait.

Shepard's first order of business was to tell everyone to stand at ease, give a small speech about the good they are going to do, what she expects from her crew, the usual speech. She stepped to her pilot and friend Joker by ordering him to set course to the Sol System. They were going to Earth for combat training. With an aye aye he gingerly sat down at the helm and maneuvered the ship out of dock.

As Shepard walked her way through the Combat Information Center she saw a lot of faces she did not know, did not recognize. Everyone looked so young. Though Shepard is only 32, she felt ancient as she walked by each of her crew. Faces she did recognize, engineers Kenneth Donnelly and Gabriella Daniels along with Adams and shuttle pilot Steve Cortez and of course the ship's doctor, Dr. Karin Chakwas. Ordering her crew to their stations, Shepard decided to run drills while en route to their destination.

* * *

"Good morning Dr. T'Soni," said Dr. Kendra T'Pol.

"Good morning," Liara replied as she sat on an exam table. Liara was a little past due for her baby appointment. With the move, her own work and Shepard's return to work, Liara did not make the time to visit the Obstetrician until now. She and Shepard discussed the need for Liara to get a checkup, the importance of it even though Elly would not be able to attend.

This was Liara's first appointment, she was nervous; she hoped she liked Dr. T'Pol. Little did Liara know that Dr. T'Pol was also nervous. She was in fact meeting the infamous Dr. Liara T'Soni, bondmate to the savior of the galaxy. Of course the doctor knew that Liara had a huge role in saving the galaxy, that it was not all Commander Shepard's doing. She tried not to shake as she extended a hand to the fellow asari.

"I am Dr. Kendra T'Pol, I am going to run a few scans and take some blood, pretty routine, just let me know if you have any questions okay?"

"Okay," Liara said.

"First, why don't you tell me how you are feeling, have you been feeling ill or tired or anything else?"

"I guess you could say I have been a bit tired, but there is a lot going on." While the doctor conversed with Liara she was running scans and doing some poking and prodding.

"Are you sleeping alright?"

Liara blushed slightly at the question. She would sleep fine if she actually slept in her bed, but the Shadow Broker has been spending too many nights in the comfy chair in her secure room at home. "I do sleep, just not all at once," she said with a slight smile.

The doctor looked at her a bit confused. "So you cannot sleep through the night, are you uncomfortable or in pain?"

"Not exactly. The work I do requires odd hours to say the least, so I sleep when I can."

"I see," said the doctor as she made notes in her omni-tool. "Do you feel tired when you wake up?"

"Yes."

The doctor looked at Liara trying to read in her eyes what she was not saying out loud. Dr. T'Soni it is ideal if you can get a minimal of six to eight hours of sleep all at once. With your work is that possible because if it is not, you need to make some changes."

"Yes, of course. My schedule can accommodate that."

"Good because sleep is very important. How is your appetite?"

"Good, though sometimes I feel like having a third or fourth serving," Liara laughed a little.

Smiling the doctor replied, "That is normal. All of your scans are normal Dr. T'Soni-"

"Please call me Liara."

"Liara. Your blood work will just take a few minutes to run. Before we continue I feel I must say something, but I do not want to embarrass you."

Not sure what the doctor could possibly say to embarrass her, Liara was very curious, she simply nodded in reply.

"I wanted to thank you Liara for saving Thessia and the rest of the galaxy of course."

Liara blushed. She was used to hearing people thank Shepard, not her personally, she was not sure how to respond, and she tried to remember what Elly always said. "You are welcome, but I did not do it alone."

"Of course, I just.. well I am grateful to you to Commander Shepard and everyone who helped."

Liara nodded. A beep was heard and the doctor checked the blood work.

"Everything looks good. Is this your first pregnancy Liara?"

"It is yes."

The doctor knew she was bonded to Commander Shepard, but didn't want to ask why she wasn't with her. Liara seemed to sense this in the doctor but chose not to say anything.

"Do you have any questions for me?"

"I don't at the moment. I have been reading a lot of books on the subject, some actually are quite frightening."

Laughing the doctor said, "Well childbirth has been happening forever. The books may be scary, but your body was built to bear children, it knows what to do." Checking her omni-tool again, "I recommend you come back in another three months. As the time draws near, I will need to see you more often to monitor your progress, make sure everything is okay." She saw the worried look on Liara's face. Placing her hand on Liara's shoulder she said "That is normal procedure Liara. Nothing to worry about."

"Three months sounds fine doctor, and thank you."

Holding up her omni-tool, the doctor said "Here is my information. If anything happens, you have questions, an emergency anything, you will need these numbers."

Liara received the data into her omni-tool, "Thank you."

"You are very healthy Liara and your young one is too, now make sure you are getting your sleep alright, see you in three months."

"Yes doctor, three months."

Liara left the medical center and almost literally ran into Valya, the asari commando, Shepard's training partner.

"Oh sorry I did not….Valya?"

The asari commando did not seem to see Liara her mind clearly on other matters.

"Yes?" she looked at Liara and it took a second or two for recognition to appear on her face. "Oh hello Dr. T'Soni, I am so sorry, I was not watching where I was going."

"It's Liara please, and that is quite all right. Are you okay Valya?"

Valya stood in front of Liara as if she couldn't speak. Liara noticed tears welling up in her eyes. Liara placed her arm around the asari and led her to a nearby bench. "What's happened?"

Composing herself enough to speak between sniffles Valya said, "A friend of mine she is…." she couldn't finish her thought as the tears fell again.

* * *

"I thought I would find you here," said Shepard as she entered the Medbay, she was carrying a bottle of serrice ice brandy, "I thought we could share a drink."

"Hello Commander Shepard," said Dr. Chakwas as she hugged the commander. "It is so good to see you back on the Normandy, she is not the same without you, none of us are. A drink sounds lovely."

The doctor grabbed some glasses while Shepard opened the bottle and poured.

Raising her glass Shepard said, "To new beginnings."

"To new beginnings," they both drank. "So how does it feel commander to be back on board?"

Shepard didn't need to think about it, she immediately replied, "It feels good. I almost feel bad at how good it feels since I can't share this with Liara," she said as she sat down across from the doctor.

"I can imagine. How is she?"

"She's good. Though she had her first checkup today, without me."

Chakwas placed her hand on the commander's knee, "I am sure she understands."

Sighing Shepard said, "I know she does, but I don't want to miss anything and I already am."

The doctor broke the silence, "And how are you commander?"

"Me?" Shepard was surprised at the question. "I'm great doc."

Nodding Chakwas didn't believe her for a minute. Liara told her her nightmares were back in frequency and intensity, but she also knew the commander would talk to her when needed. Deciding not to push she changed the subject, "What do you think of your crew?"

"I don't know over half of them. So much has changed."

"What did you expect?"

"I don't know. I forget sometimes how long it has been. It totally slipped my mind that Vega started his N7 training last month, I was looking forward to seeing him aboard."

"Have you met your squad yet?"

"Yeah, only briefly."

"Yes, you are really working them hard on those drills."

"Damn straight. They need to be flawless; I need to see what they can do, how they perform. I need to be able to trust them with my life."

"Understood commander."

"Well, I would love to finish the bottle with you, but I need to get back to it. I can't be a sideline commander; I need to do the drills with the men and women. Talk to you later Doc."

"Give 'em hell commander."

* * *

Liara let the asari commando cry herself out. Not sure what was going on, Liara sat patiently happy to be of some comfort.

"I'm…I'm sorry Liara."

"Goddess, what for?"

"I'm sure you have places to go."

"Actually I don't, so we are lucky that we ran into each other, literally," Liara hoped this would bring a smile to the asari, it did.

Sitting up straight now, wiping her tears away, Valya explained her sorrow, "I lost a friend today."

Liara placing her hand in the asari's, "I am so sorry Valya, did you know her well?"

"Yes, in fact she and I were training partners before I met the commander."

Not sure if she should ask what happened Liara waited.

"She died in the war. You probably don't remember her."

Taken off guard Liara searched her mind for an asari that she could possibly have known that died, but sadly there were too many and Liara did not have a lot of friends. "Did I meet her?"

"She was one of the asari that was holding the barricade when you the commander and the Turian were looking for some type of artifact? I think that is what she said."

Liara thought back to when the three of them landed on Thessia. It was under reaper attack and they needed to find an artifact that was supposed to hold clues to finding the catalyst. "I remember Lieutenant Kurin."

"Yeah, Neesia, was under her command. Its okay, it was pretty hectic from what I heard. I was in a supporting position miles away and it was bad enough there, they were on the front lines."

"I remember the bridge and the barrier the asari were holding up. They allowed us through," said Liara.

Wiping away a stray tear Valya said, "She was severely wounded that day and she didn't …." her tears started again.

Liara scooted closer to her and wrapped her arms around her. "I am so sorry Valya. She sounds like she was a very good friend."

Hugging back, Valya managed to say, "She was."

* * *

"At ease," said Commander Shepard as she walked into the mess hall to grab some grub. She was fine with formality but didn't expect people to stop eating and salute her. She approached the table where her new squad was gathered. "Mind if I sit?"

They exchanged looks of shock with each other then quickly moved to make room. "I am not sure I caught all of your names, you can call me Shepard or Commander whichever you prefer."

"Ma'am, I mean Shepard, I am Greg Schmidt."

"Schmidt good to meet you."

"Dale Langer," he said with a nod. Shepard moved her eyes down the table. "Tricia Nicols, ma'am,..comm I mean Shepard." Smiling Shepard nodded. "You're a biotic right Nichols?"

"That's right."

"Good, and you are?"

"Evan Bering, I'm an engineer."

"Jen Alhe, just a soldier," she said with a grin.

Shepard smiled. "Good to meet you all. I promise I will remember your names. Shepard looked down at her food and said, "Well looks like the food hasn't changed." It was not exactly identifiable the slop that filled her plate. She looked around the table; the soldiers weren't sure what to make of her. Gesturing to her food, "Is it safe?"

They all laughed. She was trying to put them at ease. She was used to civilians getting gah gah over the great Commander Shepard, but there was no room for it on the Normandy or a mission. She didn't want these soldiers distracted; a distracted soldier was a dead soldier in her book.

The soldiers relaxed enough by the end of the meal where they were treating Shepard like one of them. Though she felt older than her squad, she probably was younger than some of them. She was excited to see what they could do during combat training. Though she missed Garrus, Ashley, Tali and of course Liara to name a few, Shepard knew she had to break in these soldiers, get comfortable with them so she knew they had her back and vice versa.

* * *

Liara was able to sit with Valya until she calmed herself. Grateful for the shoulder to cry on, they exchanged their information with each other. Liara for one was very happy to have met a new friend. Shepard was going to be gone during the week for the next few months making a friend would help with how much she missed her already.

She was at home finishing up her dinner when her vid phone rang. Knowing it would be Elly she projected the call. "Hello Elly I miss you," Liara didn't want Shepard to feel bad, she had only been gone not quite a day, but Liara could not help herself.

Giggling a little Elly replied, "I miss you Liara. How was the checkup?"

"Everything is good Elly, I'm healthy the baby is healthy. Dr. T'Pol seems very nice."

"She treat you okay Liara?"

"Well yes of course Elly."

"Good. I'm glad you both are doing well. I'm just sorry I could not be there."

"Where are you Elly?

"We are in the Sol system making our way to Earth. We have combat training all week. I need to kick this squad into shape. The Doc says hi by the way."

"Please tell her I say hello as well. How is the new crew?"

"They seem like good people. I ate dinner with my new squad. They were timid at first, weren't sure what to make of me, but hopefully I put them at ease, seemed to anyway."

Liara can imagine being in their shoes. She remembers meeting Shepard for the first time when she was trapped in bubble on Therum. The way the commander walked toward her was enough to make her nervous. Smiling at the thought Shepard interrupted her thought.

"What is that smile for T'Soni?"

"I was just remembering the time I first met you Shepard. How nervous I was. You should take it easy on them."

"Absolutely not. Besides am I really that scary? These guys need to be alert; I can't have them distracted because they are nervous around me."

Liara simply laughed.

"What?" Shepard clearly didn't understand how intimidating she could be.

"Not sure what is so funny," Shepard scowled under her sly grin.

"Nothing to worry about commander," said Liara.

"So the baby is really okay?"

"Yes Elly, everything is good."

"I want you sleeping in our bed Liara, no more sleeping in that damn chair. You have to think of our little one ya know."

"I know Shepard, I will."

"God I miss you. I wish I could hold you right now and kiss you."

"I feel the same way."

"This is new territory for us huh?" said Shepard. "Me being gone during the week, I plan on talking to Hackett when we reach Earth. I need to make sure it is okay with him that I remain in Thessia as the due date approaches. I don't want to miss the birth of our first child."

Shepard saying first child makes Liara think back to when Shepard expressed interest in having three or four children. Liara wasn't sure if she was up to such a task, but smiled at the memory nonetheless.

"You are smiling again T'Soni, what gives? I was hoping you would be as miserable as I am being apart from each other," Elly gave her best pout, which wasn't very good.

Liara smiled all the more. "Goddess I love you Elly. I am miserable without you. It is just an adjustment we both will have to live with. Will you be able to call me tomorrow night?"

"I should yes, why you leaving so soon?"

"I am tired Shepard. I am going to take your advice and sleep in our bed for a change. You looked tired as well."

Yawning and quickly covering her mouth Shepard replied, "Yeah, ran a bunch of drills today. I wanted to be tired enough to be able to sleep without you. I miss you Liara."

"I miss you."

"You sleep well, and tell our little one that I love her and her beautiful mother."

"Good night Elly."

"Good night."


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Hi all, two items. One, I reread my first two chapters and realized I spelled Valya wrong pretty much all through chapter two – sorry about that. Hopefully I won't do that again._

_Two, I am changing canon. I never liked the part where in the game Shepard shot Anderson. The reaction of her just shaking her head like it was no big deal was just off to me. Also, Anderson looked as if he might have a flak jacket – or bullet proof vest on underneath – wishful thinking maybe on my part. In any event, I do not accept that Anderson died by Shepard's hand, so you will see what I come up with. I hope you like it and again thank you all for leaving reviews and PMs they truly make my day._

* * *

Shepard rolls over in her bed to find Liara next to her facing away from her. Feeling groggy still she reaches for the figure and wraps her arms around her not really wondering how Liara got onto the Normandy. Brushing her body next to Liara to feel her warmth, Shepard guides Liara to turn toward her in order to kiss her. When she looks at Liara she realizes it is not her Liara. Shepard is suddenly thrusted from her bed on the Normandy and pinned against the wall that shares space with the huge aquarium in her quarters.

Unable to move Liara, slowly moves off the bed. The black lines along the asari's face seem to be much worse than Shepard remembers. Flashing her evil grin Liara approaches Shepard with a knife that just appears in her hand. Softly touching the commander up and down her torso the asari is clearly deciding where to plunge the blade. Her breath quickening Shepard prepares herself for the inevitable. Liara slowly moves to Shepard's right side. Touching Shepard's hip and leg with her free hand Liara's evil grin broadens. Taking the knife she slowly inserts it at the hip. The pain is excruciating, Shepard cannot help but scream which makes the asari grin all the more. The feel of the knife forcing itself through muscle is a memory all too real for the commander. She couldn't move, she wanted to pass out, she internally begged for the darkness to take her. Moving the knife slowly toward Shepard's knee while it continued to cut, Liara shoves the blade in deeper until it hits bone. The intensity of the pain, Shepard feels as if her leg is on fire. She finally finds her voice "Stop! please stop!…. please Liara…..please!"

Liara pulls the knife out not nicely, but it still is a relief. Shepard feels herself moving off the wall suspended in midair, then moving, moving too quickly. Liara throws Shepard across the room. Her surroundings change, Shepard immediately recognizes the area as Virmire. She expects to see Kaidan next because her nightmares are predictable that way. She quickly brings up a shield anticipating an attack. Nothing happens. She is alone. She looks down at her hip and leg, they are fine, no blood no cut, but Shepard still feels as if it is cut open and bleeding.

Not sure what do to Shepard follows a path that leads to a lake. Her surroundings are beautiful, green trees, flowers along the path, birds singing, it reminded her of the resort. Looking out at the lake still shielded she sees something. She cannot quite make out what it is but it seems to be approaching. The wind suddenly picks up out of nowhere and she sees something bobbing up and down in the water. As it gets closer Shepard sees a basket then hears faint crying. Stepping into the water a few paces Shepard grabs the basket and sets it on dry ground. The crying grows louder. _Don't.. don't open it_. She tells herself. But she cannot seem to control her body. The minute she opens the basket the crying stops. She reaches into the basket and wraps her hand around something that feels familiar but it also feels like it is covered in some sort of slick slime. Pulling her hand out of the basket she looks at her right hand, she is holding a pistol and it is covered in red thick blood.

Her surroundings immediately change to the circular room. She is on the Citadel. She is holding the same pistol. She sees Anderson to her left as the Illusive Man steps past her brushing against her shoulder. The pain in her head makes her squint raising her left hand to her head as if to push out the pain, it has no effect.

"Look at the power I can yield," says the Illusive Man and suddenly Shepard sees herself pointing the pistol at Anderson. _What the fuck? No, shit do something Elly, I'm trying I CAN'T MOVE_.

"I can control them Shepard, just as I can control you."

Shepard feels herself pull the trigger.

Noooooo! Anderson!

Shepard jolts awake. Looking around frantically it takes Shepard a few agonizing seconds to recognize where she is. She is in her quarters on the Normandy. Soaked in sweat she is chilled to the bone and shaking. Oh God, I shot him. I shot Anderson.

* * *

"Hello Valya," said Liara.

"Hi Liara."

"I wanted to see how you were doing; I hope I am not calling too early." Liara did not feel comfortable trying to make new friends, but after spending time with Valya yesterday she had a reason to follow up with the asari.

"Not at all. I am actually heading out soon. I am doing okay, that is so nice of you to call."

_Ask her Liara_. Trying not to sound nervous Liara continued, "I was wondering if you would like to get together sometime?" Oh _Goddess I sound like I am asking her out._

"Oh sure! That would be fun. I am going out with some classmates tonight, you are happy to join us."

_Goddess a group_. Feeling confident Liara answered "That sounds nice."

"Great! I will send you the info. I gotta go Liara, thanks for calling. We can chat tonight."

"Okay." Liara wanted to call Elly right away to let her know what she was doing, to share with her bondmate that she was actually making a new friend. Liara was excited but at the same time felt a bit foolish. Elly would understand though, Liara started to dial her omni-tool to call, but at the last minute stopped. I _will tell her __tonight_.

* * *

Shepard had to get herself together. Unable to sleep after her nightmare, she couldn't turn her mind off. Only getting about three hours of sleep Shepard was already exhausted and her day was just about to begin. The Normandy was docked at the Alliance training facility she and her squad had combat training today. She is planning on rigorous drills for her and her new squad, but now all she wants to do is scream or hide in a corner and cry. She didn't feel like being a soldier today. She couldn't believe her nightmare. _Maybe it is just a dream and not a memory. What am I going to do? I can't… what the hell am I going to do? Maybe talk to Chakwas – NO! This can't be right, I couldn't have… I couldn't stop myself…. What the hell am I going to do?_

Looking at the clock Shepard needed to get going. Though she was not hungry, too worked up to eat, she knows she has to eat for energy. She has to continue with her day as if nothing happened. She is not sure if her dream is just a dream or a memory finally bubbling to the surface. She quickly showers and dresses all the while trying to push her feelings and thoughts down to focus on the day. _Get your shit together Shepard_.

Checking herself in the mirror one last time making sure her face did not betray how she was feeling, she left her quarters to get some breakfast.

"Hi Shepard," said Alhe

"Hi Alhe." It looked to Alhe that the commander has things on her mind, but she didn't ask. She hardly knew the woman, it's not like she could confide in someone she just met.

"You ready for the day soldier, we have a lot of work to do today," asked the commander.

"I am, but I would be lying if I didn't say I wasn't nervous."

"Ahh," waving her hand as if swatting away a fly, "I have read your file, I am sure you will do just fine."

"Thank you ma'a…I mean Shepard." Alhe couldn't help but get nervous, she wanted to ask the commander something and she was sitting right there. She took a breath, "Commander?"

Looking up at Alhe, Shepard replied, "Yeah?"

"When you entered the beam, what did you see? I mean how did you stop the reapers?"

It was a question Shepard should have prepared herself for, a question that should have a canned answer by now. How was she supposed to tell people anything when she didn't know herself? She could lie or she could tell the truth. She decided to tell the truth.

"That is a good question Alhe." Alhe knit her brows in confusion. "I have no memory of what happened after I hit the beam," continued Shepard.

"Really, whoa that sucks. I mean… I didn't know."

"How could you? I'm just glad we all got through it." Shepard stood and threw out her mostly uneaten breakfast as she left she said over her shoulder. "Suit up and be ready in 20 soldier."

"Yes Sir."

Walking past the CIC Shepard made her way to the pilot's chair. Joker was fiddling with something. "Hey Joker,"

"Hey Shepard how are you?"

"Good. Please let the squad know to be suited up and at the course in 20. I will meet them out there."

"Aye."

Shepard quickly changed into her armor and made her way to the combat training area.

_I will talk to Admiral Hackett; he can tell me what happened to Anderson, officially that is. _Shepard was lost in her thoughts when her new squad appeared. She was pacing back and forth and didn't look up at them when they arrived.

Schmidt stepped forward, "Reporting as ordered Commander," they all snapped into a salute. His voice was loud and Shepard jumped, but only slightly. She quickly composed herself and snapped a salute back.

"At ease. I hope you are ready for a world of hurt today."

With full gear and weapons equipped Shepard lead them in a five mile run.

* * *

Liara entered her secure room of their home. "Glyph what do you have for me today?"

The VI hovered and gave its report, "There has been some communication regarding Kane, Dr. T'Soni."

"Tell me," she said as she checked the monitors.

"Two communications have been found doctor."

"Origination?"

"Unknown at this time, he covered his tracks quite well."

"Who was he communicating to?"

"The Council."

Liara was shocked. "What? That can't be right Glyph."

"I have triple checked the information doctor."

Liara brought up the terminal that listed the two lines of communication. "This can't be right, it can't be. Why would the Council be dealing with a criminal like Kane, surely they must know who he is?"

"The Council is aware of the men who took Commander Shepard."

"Is there a chance this is not THE Kane, not the kidnapper?"

"That is possible Dr. T'Soni."

Liara rolled her eyes; she didn't like the uncertainty from the VI. _I will need to contact Counselor Tevos to ask her about this Kane person, try to find out if they are the same man. But if I do that and it is the same man, perhaps she cannot be trusted. _

* * *

"Good work, now we do dead man carry across the field then break for lunch," said Shepard. She was getting tired, working herself and her new squad hard. Now, still fully armored and weapons equipped, they had to take turns carrying each other across the field which was the size of a football field.

Shepard liked what she saw. Even though she heard some gripes, she was impressed with her squad mates. Shepard was paired with Bering, the engineer. He was bigger than she was, heavier too, but she managed while she used the fireman's carry to carry him 100 yards. She set him down, and then it was her turn to be carried. This was her chance to rest. All morning she was able to push her feelings and thoughts away, but they were creeping back. _I need to speak with Hackett._ Shepard wants to get to the bottom of this, she needs to know what happened to Anderson and she needs to know today.

Finishing up the drill she ordered everyone to lunch, she gave them one hour. Hungry herself, Shepard joined them but ate very quickly. "Got some things I need to do, see you soon," she said as she excused herself from her squad.

Shepard made it back to the Normandy, thirty minutes prior to the start of the next set of drills she has lined up. "Joker," she said.

Nearly jumping out of his chair, "Geez Commander, I did not hear you."

"Get me Admiral Hackett and send it to my quarters please."

"Aye aye."

Shepard rode the elevator up to her private quarters. When she arrived Joker chimed in "Admiral Hackett on the line Commander."

"Thank you Joker." Shepard pushed the button to see Admiral Hackett.

"Shepard?"

"Yes Sir, thank you for taking my call Sir."

"I see you have busy." He was commenting on her appearance or at least Shepard thought so. She was sweaty and dirty, didn't even think of how she looked before contacting the admiral.

"What can I do for you Commander?"

"Do you have time to meet today Sir, I would like to discuss something with you in person."

"I can make time Commander. When are you done with your training?"

"In a few hours Sir."

"Alright, stop by at 1600."

"Yes Sir, thank you Sir." Shepard disconnected the call. Happy that she was going to get answers, Shepard returned to the training area.

* * *

Shepard ended the training early. Her squad didn't know that but they were happy nonetheless. Shepard had time to shower, dress and grab a quick snack before going to Admiral Hackett's office.

_What am I going to say to him? What do I ask? I am going to sound like I am crazy, like he will believe me. I don't even believe me._

"The Admiral will see you now," said Stacy.

"Thank you Stacy." Shepard walked into the admiral's office. It was nicely decorated with commendations, pictures and medals. He had a small wet bar along with a couch and two matching chairs in one corner of his office, while his desk and personal bathroom was on the other side of the office. Shepard saluted, "Thank you for seeing me Admiral."

Returning the salute, "At ease Commander. Would you like a drink?" He walked over to the wet bar to pour himself one.

"Whiskey please Sir."

"Have a seat." The commander moved to sit in one of the chairs. Hackett turned and handed her her drink, then sat in the other matching chair.

"I saw you and your squad today, how are they doing?"

"Fine Sir. They are a good bunch."

"Looks like you were running them pretty hard."

"Yes Sir. Need to make sure I know their weaknesses Sir."

"Enough with the Sirs Shepard, I'm glad to see you out there. There was a time I didn't think I would."

Surprised by his words the commander offered a half smile.

"What's on your mind Shepard?"

"I need to ask you something."

"Shoot."

"How did Anderson die?" Not one for skirting around the issue Shepard went straight to the heart of the matter.

Knitting his brows together Hackett studied the commander before answering. "Why do you ask?"

She looked up at him to meet his eyes. "I think I have a right to know don't you?"

"Are you remembering more Shepard?" asked Hackett.

Not sure how to respond to the question, Shepard wasn't sure if it was a memory or just a dream. "I am not sure, I ..I just need to know Sir."

Hackett sat in silence. Not understanding why he was not being up front with her, she was getting visibly irritated.

"I need to know what you remember Shepard."

She had had about enough. "Sir, what difference does it make? I think I have a right to know what happened to him," she said clearly frustrated.

The admiral did not say anything about showing her frustrating or the angry tone in her voice.

"I need to know Shepard, tell me what you remember."

_Why the hell does he NEED to know that? Easy Shepard, easy._ Finishing her drink Shepard told Hackett about the circular room. About how Anderson was there with her along with the Illusive Man. That she had a pistol in her hand, that she remembers firing it and the last thing she remembers is that the pistol was pointing at David Anderson, her superior officer and mentor, the man who saved her life. Took her from Mindoir and introduced her to the Alliance military.

"And you think you shot him?" Hackett asked.

"I think it is a safe assumption Sir," said the commander.

"Hmmm," Hackett placed his hand on his chin and the other hand under his elbow.

Shepard was losing her temper now. For him to just be sitting there, _Hmmm all he can say is Hmm!_ "Sir, permission to speak freely?"

"Of course commander, that goes without saying."

"What exactly are you hiding from me and why?"

Hackett studied her again. He could tell she was on the edge of furious and he hardly blamed her. Sitting forward he locked eyes with her. "I am going to tell you something that I am not supposed to and you need to keep it to yourself."

Shepard having no idea what he was going to tell her sat and waited.

"When you woke from your coma and had no memory of what happened after you hit the beam, we were told not to tell you anything, that you would need to remember on your own."

Shepard not quite understanding simply said, "Okkaaayy?"

"I personally did not agree with the doctors, but they know how the mind works better than I. They said it could harm you if you found out without remembering. They said that you not remembering was a coping mechanism, that you were not ready to see the truth yet, that you needed to remember on your own."

Shaking her head, "I don't understand."

Taking a sip from his glass he continued, "This is going to come as a shock Commander. David Anderson never made it to the beam; he was not on the Citadel with you."

She heard the words but did not comprehend them. _What? What did he just say? If Anderson wasn't with me, why I am dreaming about him. I shot him, he must be mistaken._ With her hand to her head and eyes closed, Shepard searched her mind for any small remnant of a memory, something that would equate to what she just heard from the admiral.

"Shepard?"

"I ..I don't….I don't understand. I saw him there."

"Yes in your dreams."

She was about to reply when she looked up at the man across from her. His eyes revealing what he hoped they would not. It was a quick glimpse, but she saw it. She leaned forward a little looking at him with suspicious eyes. "You knew that already, didn't you? That I have been dreaming of Anderson on the Citadel."

Without looking away, he replied, "Yes."

"Sir?" she said expecting more of an explanation.

"Dr. Chakwas has kept me apprised of your progress commander."

"I see," said Shepard her tone turning dark. "Has my wife also given you updates?" She said with coldness in her eyes as she stood turning her back on her admiral.

"Shepard-"

"Who else was in on it? Who else! Who else has been lying to my face all these months! You care to comment on that one admiral!" She was being insubordinate but she didn't care. She was furious.

"We were told-"

"To what! To completely and utterly lie to me? THAT was the advice you got and you what, thought hey that sounds great, let's keep her in the dark. Let's watch her suffer through nightmares for eight months and see how she does. What a fantastic idea!" She was yelling now, her temper no longer able to be controlled. Out of the corner or her eye she saw Stacy pop her head in with concern on her face wondering what the ruckus was all about. Hackett must have waved her away because she disappeared just as fast.

Hackett stood and started to say something only to be interrupted again by the commander.

"How did Anderson die!" She demanded it more than asked.

"He was killed by those abominations while your team was running toward the beam. He never made it to the beam. "

"Did he have a gunshot wound?" She asked this time, her voice not as loud.

"No. Why?"

"That doesn't concern you Sir," she replied. He had never seen hate in her eyes at least not directed to him, but he saw it now. Without asking permission to be dismissed Shepard walked out of his office.

* * *

Feeling like a small child Liara could not wait to talk to Shepard about the night she had with Valya and her classmates. Liara was so nervous at the beginning of the night. Nervous that she would have nothing in common with the other asari she got herself so worked up about it she almost called and cancelled.

She made herself meet Valya at the restaurant, she told herself to show up and stay for at least thirty minutes. If she was not having fun she could say she was tired, being pregnant would allow that excuse without suspicion. The minute she saw Valya wave her over she felt herself relax a little. Valya's classmates were all asari. A few were even history majors and they had lots and lots of questions for Liara regarding the Protheans. She was all too happy to answer them. Her nervousness about maybe Valya misinterpreting Liara when she asked Valya to go out sometime all but flew out of her head when she saw Valya's arm around one of her classmates, Dara. They didn't seem to care that asari bonds were looked down upon, though Liara did not ask if they were bonded. It was nice to see them together, it was nice to see Valya smile and be happy since the last time she saw her she was crying over a lost friend.

Liara could not help the smile on her face, she was beaming. She almost felt guilty feeling this happy without having Elly with her. But she knew Elly would understand, she couldn't wait to talk to the commander. She dialed her omni-tool.

The call was picked up but before Liara could say hello she heard, "How could you?" Liara was confused at first because the tone used was so dark, so filled with anger. She thought she dialed the wrong number, until she looked up at the vid screen and saw Shepard snarling at her.

"Shepard?"

"How long Liara?"

"I'm sorry?"

"How long were you going to lie to me? How LONG!"

It was very clear Shepard was furious but Liara had no idea why.

"What's happened Elly?"

"Oh, NOW you are concerned. What's happened! I will tell you what's happened! I know the truth!"

In a few short seconds Liara realized what she must be talking about. "Elly I…"

"You what, you WHAT LIARA! What could you possibly say to me right now HUH!"

Liara was trying to remain calm, she has no idea what has happened only that somehow Elly knows something about Anderson and it didn't come from her.

"Elly, please let me expla-"

"Explain?" she spat sarcastically. "How about you explain to me all those nights I woke up in a sweat scared to death and you just held me and lied to me. You lied to me Liara, how could you do that to me. To see me suffer like that and do nothing?"

Liara could see the extreme hurt in Elly's eyes. Her heart was breaking for her. "Elly, please let me explain. The doctor-"

"OH yes, the doctors. OH I heard from Hackett what they told you, what they told all of you. I cannot believe you went along with it. How could you DO that to me Liara?" Elly was shaking she was so angry. Tears were filling her eyes; she never thought her own wife would betray her like this.

"Please let me explain Elly, please."

"I can't believe it, not you. I can't believe you did this to me Liara."

"They said we could hurt you more if we told you."

"So you just let me suffer wondering to myself that I killed Anderson? At the resort I told you, I TOLD YOU, I thought I did something terrible to him. You couldn't find it in your heart to tell me then?"

"The doctors said you were starting to remember, that it woul-"

"Bullshit! You had a choice Liara and you CHOSE to hurt me! You chose to lie to me!

"THAT Is NOT true Elly and you know it, it is not that simple."

"OH I think it is. I think it is that simple. I can't believe…. I am at a total loss of words, the pain I feel right now knowing that you have been lying to me all these months. I can't even look at you Liara. I am shocked….shocked. I thought I killed the man who saved my life. The man I would gladly die for. And you let me believe that. You let me BELIEVE that." The tears started to fall now; there was no holding them back. Shepard wanted to scream, wanted to hit something, wanted to run away. She felt betrayed by her wife, by Admiral Hackett, by Dr. Chakwas, she shook with anger. It made her sick as if throwing up would get the pain she was feeling out of her.

Liara started to cry as well, but she tried to hide her tears, this conversation was not about her and she knew it. She did not want to follow the doctor's advice, but Dr. Chakwas and Admiral Hackett were convinced it was the best thing to do. The nights she called Karin without Shepard's knowledge, Liara begged each time to be able to tell her because it broke her heart not being honest with Shepard. But Chakwas was adamant, she needs to remember on her own, it was like a scratched vinyl record that played the same lyric over and over and over again. Liara was furious with them, furious with Hackett for telling Shepard. They had all agreed to follow the advice how dare he break their agreement. But even so, Liara was the most upset with herself because she did choose to go along with the others. She didn't have to, but she did and now she had to face the consequences. The hurt in Shepard's eyes in her demeanor was enough to make Liara want to curl up in a ball and cry. She so wanted to comfort Shepard, but she was furious at her and for good reason. She just prayed to the Goddess that they would be able to get through this that Elly would understand some day.

"Elly, I can only imagine how hurt you are right now, but please underst-"

"You have NO IDEA LIARA!" Shepard interrupted. "I can't ..I can't do this right now." Shepard disconnected the call.

The minute the omni-tool was disconnected Liara received another call. She recognized the number being from Admiral Hackett, Liara let it ring.


	4. Chapter 4

Still steaming from her call with Liara that she disconnected seconds ago, Shepard changed her clothes. She wanted out and she was not going out wearing anything Alliance. She started to head out of her quarters when the door suddenly opened revealing Dr. Chakwas.

"Shepard I need-"

"I don't care what you need Karin! I don't want to talk to you," spat Shepard as she tried to walk past the doctor.

"Please I need to sa-"

"Step aside!"

The doctor has seen Shepard angry before but the commander was shaking, her eyes were red, she knew she had been crying, she has not seen her this angry before, it was frightening. The doctor wanted to help her to comfort her to apologize to her. She was only doing what she thought was the right thing at the time, they all were.

"No," though afraid of the woman who stood before her, the doctor did not move.

Shepard stepped closer to the doctor, close enough to where their noses were almost touching. In a low growl Shepard replied, "You move your ass from my quarters or I will move it for you, is that understood."

The doctor was not going to win this, she was not going to be heard, not while Shepard was so angry, so hurt. As she stepped aside she said, "Liara did not want to go along with this."

Shepard stepped past her and called the elevator. From the doorway the doctor continued, "She called me after every nightmare Shepard, she desperately wanted to tell you. I told her no, that we all agreed to follow the doctor's orders."

Shepard said nothing as the elevator doors opened. Without looking at the doctor she walked in and stabbed the button as if it would make the doors close faster. Storming out to the CIC, Shepard barked at Joker, "I'm leaving the ship. Tell the squad they have tomorrow off." Before he could say anything Shepard was gone.

* * *

Nicols and Alhe were walking back to the Normandy when they saw their commander briskly walking away. From her body language she looked pissed off. "Where do you think she's going?" Nicols asked Alhe.

"No idea."

"Maybe we should follow her."

Scoffing at the comment, Alhe said, "I think she can take care of herself."

Tricia Nicols wasn't convinced, "Well, I'm following her. I want to make sure she is okay."

Alhe started walking with Nicols, "I'm sure she's fine."

"She is part of our squad Jen, if I saw you storm off looking upset I would follow you."

"Okay, okay, good point. Should I call the guys?"

"Let's see where she goes first," Nicols said as the pair kept Shepard in their sights.

* * *

Shepard walked and walked. She was not really looking where she was going; she just needed to get away from the Normandy, from the Alliance, from herself. Looking up she sees a bar and pops in. Looking around she sees an empty booth in the corner and takes it. The place is a bit busy; Shepard saw a sign mentioning something about happy hour and specials. With views to the front door and the dance floor and bar Shepard settled into the booth waiting for someone to take her order. "Two whiskeys." The waitress returned and set down the two glasses, one in front of Shepard and the other one for a guest that has not arrived. Shepard didn't correct her she just waited until she left before downing her first drink.

Nicols and Alhe entered not too far behind the commander. There was a crowd at the door and they weaved their way through. Nicols was the first to spot Shepard. "There she is."

"So what do we do?" asked Alhe.

Looking around, Nicols found a good vantage point to watch the commander without being seen. "Let's sit over here."

Surprised Alhe said, "We aren't going to talk to her, I don't get it?" She looked at Nicols who was adjusting the chair so her position was just right, "Are we just gonna spy on her?"

"Well duh," replied Nicols.

"What if she catches us?"

"We tell her we didn't see her."

Sitting next to Nichols, Alhe said, "I don't like this."

Getting more serious Nichols looks at her, "Look, I don't know the commander okay. She looks very upset. I doubt she wants company, but we need to look out for her."

Completely at a loss Alhe replied, "I think this is stupid."

"So leave. I am not leaving her. I mean look at her."

Alhe looked over to see the commander finishing her second drink and talking to the waitress.

"If anything she is going to need help getting back to the Normandy if she keeps drinking like that," said Nichols. "Then she will thank us for it later."

"Alright, alright," said Alhe. They both ordered from the menu, they had a feeling it was going to be a long night.

* * *

A band started playing live music. People started getting up to dance on the dance floor. Shepard barely noticed. The bar was getting more and more crowded. People were shooting her dirty looks for taking up a booth when only one person occupied it, but she didn't notice and it was doubtful that she would care if she did.

Shepard instructed the waitress to keep the drinks coming. She was on her fourth now. She stopped gulping them down in once fell swoop after number three; she decided to slow it down a little. Looking up as if for the first time she scanned the crowd. Her heart hurt looking at the couples dancing on the dance floor. The music was kind of a rock country mix. She fought the heat behind her eyes; she didn't want to cry especially in public.

"Would you like to dance?"

Shepard barely heard the man; she was looking down at her drink as if it held the answers she was looking for.

"Excuse me, would you like to dance?"

Finally hearing a man's voice Shepard looked up. She saw a man who was nicely dressed in a suit, slender but nicely built; she thought he was very handsome. "What?" she asked.

"I was wondering if you would like to dance?" he asked again with a smile on his face.

Looking at him then the dance floor then back to him she gave into a her thoughts on how nice it would be to be held right now. Pushing the thought from her mind she replied, "No thanks."

"Aw come on, it will do you some good."

Taking another sip from her drink Shepard raised her left hand palm facing her to show him that she was married. The man looked at her hand and said, "Does that mean something? Are you waving hello or something?" he laughed as he said it.

Shepard looked at her left hand and didn't see her wedding band. _Smooth Shepard._ She chuckled, "I'm married, go ask someone else."

He smiled, nodded his head as if he understood. Then he waved the waitress over and sat down next to Shepard. "Give her another please," he said, "I'll take a beer please."

Shepard was stunned to say the least. Who was this guy to just sit down? She didn't want company, she needed to think.

"What's your name," asked the man.

"Um, I think you need to leave," said Shepard. "I don't want company."

"Why's that?" he asked as the waitress returned with their drinks.

"Who the fuck are you?" spat Shepard.

"Whoa," holding his hands up palms out as if surrendering, "Just making conversation."

"In case you hadn't noticed I don't want to make conversation."

"I disagree," he smiled. "I think you need someone to talk to."

Too tired to fight with the guy, Shepard didn't want to leave the booth; she was just starting to feel a good buzz going from the whisky. Happy to be distracted from her thoughts, she decided to play along. The guy seemed nice enough, not a threat anyways. "Oh really, why do you say that?"

The man inched a little closer to make sure she could hear him over the music, "Looks like you have been crying and by the way you are downing your drinks, seems to me you are looking for some answers. I doubt you will find them at the bottom of your glass though."

Shepard wasn't sure if she should hit the man because he was accurate in his assessment of her or if she should be mad at herself for being so easy to read. Feeling as if she was falling apart, she didn't really care. She scanned the room again wondering if she should just leave so the man would leave her alone. _She loves you Shepard, Liara loves you. Shut up!_

"So what's with the suit?"

"I am just getting off work, thought I would pop in for a drink before heading home."

"And you thought, hey I am going to bug that woman I see and sit down without being asked is that it?"

He smiled. He had a nice smile; it made Shepard think of Liara. "Hey, if you really want me to leave I will, just looks like you could use a friend that's all."

"We don't know each other."

"You're right. But sometimes it is easier to talk to a stranger than a friend, don't ya think?"

_I just want to hold you Liara, I miss you. I can't believe you betrayed me, you lied to me. How can I ever trust you? Damn it I miss you._

"I'm Mitch by the way," the man said as he extended his hand. Shepard looked him up and down again before shaking it.

"You can call me Shepard."

"Ah yes, the great com,-"

Holding her hand up as if to stop traffic she said, "Don't, just don't."

The look she gave him made him close his mouth. "Okay, fair enough"

They just sat together for awhile without talking. Shepard continued to drink, to think. Mitch just sat there as if waiting for something. He ordered them food. Said something about how she shouldn't eat on an empty stomach. Shepard wasn't so far gone that she didn't believe this guy was working some kind of angle. But it was a nice feeling to be taken care of even if it was from a stranger. She wanted to forget, forget that her wife and closest friends lied to her. She wanted to get lost in the drink, let herself go.

"You married?"

Mitch looked at her, his smile faded, "I was once."

"What happened?"

"She left me."

"Why is that?"

Mitch didn't answer. Shepard continued, "Hey, if you don't want to talk then leave, I'm not stopping you."

He looked at her as if formulating what to say. "She caught me."

Shepard shrugged, "Figures."

Knowing what she was thinking Mitch immediately set her straight, "No it's not that. I didn't cheat on her."

"Then what did you do, what did she find out?"

"She found out I was lying to her."

The pain returned in a flash. Almost an hour had passed and Shepard didn't think of Liara, of Hackett or Chakwas, she didn't think of how they had been lying to her for months. She wanted to scream, feeling herself get angry she asked, "What did you lie to her about?"

Mitch saw the shift in her mood, but he continued anyway, "The business I do, well some of it was not so legal at the time. I was working toward fixing that. I didn't tell her about it because I didn't see the point. I was leaving that part of my life, going legitimate, why tell her?"

"Why NOT tell her?" Shepard said with a scowl a little too loudly.

"I hit a nerve Shepard?"

Ignoring his question, "Why not tell her Mitch? Don't you think you were lying to protect your own ass?"

He looked at her thoughtfully. "No. I didn't tell her because I was leaving that behind me, what would be the point in telling her?"

"Because she was your wife and she deserves to know the truth."

"Tell me Shepard, do you tell the truth all of the time?"

"Of course I do."

"Really!" he laughed. "So if your wife was wearing something that looked just awful on her, but she really, really liked it, would you tell her she looked awful in it?"

"That's different," Shepard spat as she gulped down her drink, drink number five or six now, she lost count.

"Okay. You are in the military right."

She just glared at him. He smiled holding up his hands in surrender again. "Okay, okay. Answer me this. Do your superiors tell you the truth about every mission you go on or is it a 'need to know' type thing."

"Depends."

"You get my point Shepard," Mitch said with his playful grin. "You are not told everything, you are lied to everyday. You are told what you need to be told right?"

Shepard never thought of it that way. She followed orders; it was her job to follow orders. When she was in charge she told her squad what they needed to know and when, sometimes she would withhold the entire story, or picture. Shepard thought back to when she withheld information from the krogans, Wrex and Eve. She never told them that the Salarian Dalatross Linron wanted Shepard to prevent Mordin from curing the genophage. She wanted peace to occur between the two races. She felt if she told Wrex and Eve that the krogren would rebel. The genophage was cured, what difference did it make if they knew. _Shit. _Shepard thought to herself.

"It's different when you are talking about your wife and family," said Shepard though not too convinced.

"Not really, at least not in this situation," replied Mitch.

"There has to be more to the story," said Shepard. "I doubt she would leave you over one lie."

Mitch finished his drink. "Actually she did. She said that if I lied to her about this one thing, then I was automatically lying to her about everything else, my love for her, my vows, everything. It was quite the leap. I was looking out for her, trying to do the best I could by her and she just didn't see it."

Shepard felt like shit. She wanted to crawl into a hole. She wanted to call Liara right now and say she understood, that she wanted her, wanted to hold her to be with her all night. To kiss away the pain they both felt. But another part of her didn't agree, not at all. Liara had plenty of opportunities to tell her the truth. _But the doctor told them not to tell you Shepard. They were only following his advice even if it was shitty. She loves you, they all do. Remember the look on Hackett's face, he was torn, he didn't want to hurt you he wanted to protect you. Remember the look on Chakwas' face, on Liaras'?_

"You okay Shepard?" Mitch talking to her snapped her from her thoughts.

She didn't answer. Mitch leaned toward her "You sure you don't want to dance?"

She snapped her head up to look at him, he was smiling. She could only smile back. She realized what he was doing. "Sorry."

"It's no problem."

"So where is she now?"

"Oh she is home living her life while I try to find a new place to live," his tone turned sad.

"You should go talk to her, make her listen."

He shrugged, "I have tried that, she doesn't want to hear it."

"I don't buy that."

He looked at her with a surprised expression on his face.

Shepard continued, "You have the balls to sit next to me after I tell you to all but go take a hike. You didn't take no for an answer from me, you shouldn't from her. Keep trying until she hears you."

"Yeah, I don't know."

"What don't you know?" asked Shepard as she tosses a French fry in her mouth.

"She thinks everything I have done is a lie. Not sure how to talk to someone like that if they have already made up their mind. I do one thing wrong and she applies to everything, it's not right."

"Do you still love her?"

"Yes."

"There's your answer. Don't let her go."

Mitch just looked at the commander for a minute. "What?" said Shepard.

"I thought I was coming over here to help you, but you helped me instead. Thank you commander," he said as he stood up from the booth. "It has been a pleasure talking with you. I hope you don't mind, but I need to go talk to my wife. I will settle the bill before I go," he held out his hand again, Shepard took it and gave it a good shake. "Good luck Mitch, and thanks."

"For what?"

"For talking to me, now go get her."

He smiled, went to the bar to settle the tab and left.

* * *

"Can we go now please?" asked Alhe. They had been observing the commander with the unknown man for over three hours. It was getting late and Alhe wanted to get to bed.

"No, I am not leaving until I know the commander gets back safe and sound."

"I think I will be fine soldier," said Shepard. They didn't notice that she moved in behind them as they sat at their table.

Jumping almost out of her seat Nichols said, "Oh! Commander Shepard….funny meeting you-"

"Enough Nichols. The gig is up," replied Shepard.

With wide eyes Alhe and Nichols looked at each other. "Uh, what gig?" asked Nichols.

"I know the two of you have been spying on me all night, you are not exactly conspicuous."

"What, noooo," tried Nichols, "It's just a coincidence really," she was looking to Alhe to help, but she stopped pretending the minute Shepard walked up to the table. Seeing her slowly shake her head from side to side Nichols turned her gaze to the commander, "Alright you caught us."

Shepard sat down at their table. "Why exactly were you following me?"

Alhe didn't speak. Nichols said, "I saw you leave the Normandy, you looked very upset. So I wanted to follow you to make sure you were okay. You would do the same for us."

Knowing she was right the commander said, "You're right. But I am leaving now so you can stop following me." Shepard got up and started to walk out. Nichols quickly gave Alhe a credit chit to take care of the bill, "Meet me outside okay," she said to Alhe as she quickly followed the commander outside.

It was dark out, Shepard was surprised. She didn't realize how long she was in the bar. She checked her omni-tool, it was nearly midnight.

"Where you off to now Shepard, are you heading back to the Normandy?" asked Nichols.

"No. I'm going to find a hotel and crash. You two gonna be alright getting back?"

Nichols replied, "Sure, we will just call a cab."

"Okay, remember you have tomorrow off. I will see you later Nichols," Shepard started to walk away then turned to face the soldier, "Thanks Nichols, for looking out for me."

"Anytime commander."

* * *

"Liara, what are you doing here?" asked Joker as he was ready to hit the sack.

"I am here to see the commander." Liara booked a shuttle after Elly disconnected their call. She did not want to wait until the weekend to talk to her so Liara decided to take a transport to Earth to settle things once and for all.

"Ah, she's not here."

"Where is she Joker?"

"She left, said she was staying overnight away from the Normandy. She hasn't come back yet."

"Doesn't she have training today?"

"She gave the squad the day off. I have been up all night and about to hit the rack, I'm sure you can wait in her quarters, but I don't know where she is."

"Can you do me a favor Joker?"

* * *

Shepard woke with a headache. Rolling out of bed she managed to get herself into the shower. _Well Shepard, Mitch had a point. Yeah, yeah, I don't want to think about it._

The man from the bar, Mitch, did indeed have a point and Shepard knew it. Hackett, Chakwas and Liara were all just doing what her doctor told them to do, not tell her anything because it could cause harm. Shepard was pissed sure, what harm could be caused. But then she thought about what Hackett said, that Anderson never made it to the beam. That little tidbit alone was driving her nuts. Why the hell was she dreaming about him on the Citadel if he wasn't ever on the Citadel? What was she shooting at, how did she fire the weapon that killed the reapers. Is this the harm the doctor was talking about? The fact that Shepard could think of nothing else now, that she couldn't seem to concentrate, that she had to drink herself stupid before she stopped thinking about Anderson. Maybe the doctor was right, maybe it was better not being told, maybe it was better that she remember on her own if at all. But then again, if she didn't find out, she still would think that she was responsible for David's death. How could she trust them again, if they lied about something so important to her, someone so important to her, what else were they lying to her about? Was she just supposed to forget being lied to just because she has lied to others to protect them? For the first time since finding out the truth about Anderson, the answer Shepard came up with was maybe.

_What if there is nothing more to divulge? What if they do tell you more and you can't handle it. I mean you get yourself drunk at the news of Anderson, what will you do if they have more to tell? Maybe they were right in not telling you, they were looking out for you Shepard. They love you, Liara loves you, God I miss her. I just want her in my arms, I want to hold her, be with her, touch her. _

Shepard got herself dressed while waiting for room service to come with her breakfast, she hoped eating something would help with her headache. Her omni-tool beeped, someone must have called while she was in the shower. Listening to the message, Joker said she was needed back at the Normandy as soon as possible, not a real emergency, but hurry nonetheless. Not happy with the cryptic message, Shepard decided to eat her breakfast before heading back.

* * *

When Shepard arrived on the Normandy Joker was not in his pilot chair. The man nearby told her he was sleeping. Thinking that was odd since he all but summoned her, she decided to head up to her quarters to check for any messages. She was working on what she wanted to say to Liara, she wished she could talk to her in person, but knew that could not happen until the weekend and this could not wait and fester for three more days. She felt herself getting nervous at the thought of calling her, but she knew she had to. When she opened the door to her quarters and saw Liara standing near the bed pacing back and forth, she thought she was dreaming.

Shepard slowly walked toward Liara. Liara stopped when she heard the door and looked at her. The worry on her face made Shepard's heart sink.

_What is she doing here, am I dreaming? Did I somehow fall asleep? Check her face, any black lines, check for a knife._

Liara noticed that Shepard seemed to study her. She wasn't sure what to say. The entire trip to Earth she tried to formulate the right words to express to Elly how sorry she was, that she only followed orders, that she thought she was doing the right thing with the information she had at the time. _Just say hello Liara, say hello. _"Hello Shepard," Liara said with little confidence.

Shepard looked her up and down, seemed to check her hands with her eyes. "What is it Elly, are you okay?"

Shepard closed the distance between them. She held out a hand to touch Liara's cheek. Liara not sure what to do, not sure because Elly was not responding to her, just stood there. When Shepard's hand reached her cheek, Shepard pulled away quickly. "What are you doing here, is the baby okay?" she asked, her tone not awful, but not the usual tone she used with her wife.

"Yes, yes of course, I had to see you Elly, I need to explain."

Shepard's headache moved from a dull ache to a pounding thud thud thud, on the walk back to the Normandy. She wanted to talk to Liara, but to have her in front of her in person right now, she was not prepared, and she wasn't sure what to say or feel. Grabbing water from her mini-fridge she asked if Liara wanted one too. She handed her the water. "Liara you look tired, you should rest."

"Not until we talk Elly."

"Well you can sit down and talk can't you," she said a little too annoyed. She winched at her own tone and looked at Liara. "Please Liara, will you sit. Do you need something to eat?"

_Goddess, she is always looking out for me. I thought I was doing the same for her._

"I have already eaten Elly, thank you," said Liara as she sat down. Shepard joined her on the couch, though Liara wished she sat closer. Not sure how to begin, Liara just started talking. Liara told her about what the doctor said that Shepard should remember on her own. That the mind was a funny thing, hard to determine when to push it when not to push it. All three of them did not like the idea of keeping things from her, but the doctor was adamant.

Shepard chimed in, "Chakwas told me that you called her after my nightmares." Shepard's tone was soft, but the commander could not look at Liara while Liara spoke.

Surprised to hear what the doctor told her, Liara continued, "Yes. I wanted to tell you Elly, but Karin kept saying we had to be strong. Frankly I was the only one that had to…." Liara didn't finish.

Shepard stood crossing her arms, "To deal with my nightmares you mean." Now Liara was the one who could not look at Shepard. "Well Liara I am so sorry that I my nightmares have been such an imposition to you," her dark tone returning.

"That is not what I meant Elly," Liara said as she stood.

"You know what Liara, I get it! I get it okay! You thought you were doing me a favor by lying to me, I GET IT! But it doesn't change the fact that it hurts, that I can't trust you that I can hardly look at you. All I want to do is hold you in my arms, feel you against me, be with you, but…" Shepard turned her back to the asari wrapping her arms around herself to try to stop herself from crying.

Liara wanted to go to her, to hold her to comfort her. She wasn't sure what to do. "Elly, I .. I love you so much. I didn't want to harm you. I followed the doctor's advice, but I should have told you. I should have at least told you that you had nothing to do with David's death."

Shepard did not respond, she still had her back turned to Liara. Liara approached a few steps. "I love you Elly. When you hurt I hurt. Seeing you suffer from your nightmares it kills me inside. They are not an imposition, I just wish I could take them away from you. I," Liara's eyes filled with tears as she continued, "I want you to be at peace Elly. I want us to have a family and be at peace." Liara stepped closer still to the commander, placing her hand on her shoulder. When Shepard did not pull away, Liara became bold and hugged her from behind. "I love you Elly, I don't ever want to hurt you I am so sorry. I won't lie to you again, I promise." Liara hugged her tight. She could feel Elly shaking, knew she was crying.

Pulling herself together, Shepard stepped away from Liara's embrace. "What else haven't you told me?"

"What?"

Shepard turned to her now, wiping tears from her face, crossing her arms, "What else haven't you told me Liara?"

Shepard was not sure if there was more to be told, but from the shocked look on Liara's face, Shepard knew she caught her.

"I.." Liara was not sure how to respond. _Oh Goddess. Just tell her Liara._

From Shepard's perspective, Liara's silence was too long. "I thought you just said you won't lie to me again. I guess that was a lie huh, seems like you just can't help yourself." Shepard stepped past her up the two steps up toward her desk. "You need to get some sleep Liara, and then go home." Shepard walked toward the door to leave, when Liara stopped her.

"Elly please don't leave. There is more."

Shepard couldn't believe her ears. Couldn't believe the anger she felt toward her wife. She was trying to remember what Mitch told her in the bar last night, but it wasn't helping. Liara was still keeping things from her and it was not okay.

"Will you please look at me Elly?"

Taking a deep breath in and out Shepard turned to face Liara who had moved closer to her. Without saying a word Shepard waited for the asari to speak.

"You may want to sit down for this Elly."

"Just tell me Liara!" She didn't mean to yell at her but she didn't need to be treated like a child.

"In your nightmares you say you shot Anderson, that you were pointing the gun at him?"

"Yeah, the Illusive Man was controlling me somehow, I couldn't move, except when he wanted me to. That is what it felt like anyway, why."

"Do you remember how you got shot Elly?"

"What?"

"When we found you in the rubble, you had two gunshot wounds. Do you remember how you got them?"

Shepard walked past Liara down toward the couch and bed again and started pacing. Racking her brain to try to remember, she couldn't. "No, I don't remember."

Liara followed her down the steps, grabbed Elly by the hand and led her to the couch to sit down. Elly did not fight her, she was actually getting nervous. Liara looked in her eyes and continued to hold Shepard's hand.

"Liara you are scaring me, just tell me," said Shepard.

Squeezing her hand Liara said, "The doctor told us that your gunshot wound under your ribs on your left side was…."

Liara fell silent and she looked down. Shepard was losing her patience, but at the same time questioned herself on if she really wanted to know. What could be so awful anyway? If she killed the Illusive Man, which she was convinced she did, what was the big deal. "What is it Liara, just tell me please."

"It was self inflicted."


	5. Chapter 5

"It was self inflicted."

Shepard heard the words from Liara's mouth but couldn't believe them. _I shot myself? _Shepard was happy that Liara grabbed her hand to sit on the couch because she is pretty sure she would have fallen over had she not been sitting. "I shot…what? How?"

Liara still holding Elly's hand says, "When the surgeon came out she told Dr. Chakwas that she suspected that the wound was self-inflicted. Since I was still unconscious when your surgery was over, Dr. Chakwas told me and Admiral Hackett later." Liara continues when Shepard does not speak. "Apparently there was evidence of the gun being right next to your skin when it went off and the angle of the wound indicated that it was self-inflicted."

Shepard just sits on the couch, elbows on her knees; hand in her hair, eyes closed tight. Her hangover headache which was a thud thud thud on the way to the Normandy is much, much worse now. "I think I'm going to be sick," Elly gets up quickly and moves to the bathroom.

Liara follows her after hearing her get sick. She looks for a washcloth in the bathroom, cannot find one so she uses a hand towel. She wets the towel with cold water and moves to Elly who is kneeling over the toilet to put it on the back of her neck. "Are you okay?"

Shepard doesn't answer; she thinks more of her breakfast is going to make an appearance. Liara rubs her back lightly with her hand. If she didn't feel so horrible so raw, she would have loved the touch, but right now she just wants to roll up into a ball and die. _Never drinking again, you hear me Shepard, never again._ Minutes pass, the rest of her breakfast does not come up. It hurts to lift her head. Liara helps her to stand. Shepard moves to the sink to wash her mouth out and quickly brushes her teeth. Shepard says, "Remind me to not drown my sorrows in alcohol."

Liara is actually relieved at Shepard's words. Liara thought the news she just shared is what made Shepard sick. She helps Elly to the bed. "I will remind you, I promise." Liara helps Elly out of her clothes and into her sleeping attire which comprise of a tank top and shorts when aboard the Normandy. She also grabbed the towel and rewet it with cold water. Shepard lies down on her back holding her stomach with her hands. She can feel the ridges of her scars as she tries to warm her stomach with the heat of her hands. Liara returns with the cool towel and places it on her forehead. Shepard captures Liara's hand. "Stay with me."

Liara's eyes fill with tears. She does not have to be asked twice. She is exhausted herself and wants nothing more than to hold Elly. She quickly changes into her own sleeping attire and joins Elly in bed. She places her hand on tops of Elly' as she settles in next to the human. She misses her warmth, the feel of her next to her. Liara doesn't want to get too excited, she knows Shepard is not feeling well, she doesn't think their argument is over, and even if it is, the hurt caused to Elly is not. _Goddess, please give her peace, please give us both peace. _Pushing aside her negative thoughts, Liara focuses on the moment, focuses on having Elly in her arms again.

* * *

Shepard was standing in the circular room. Anderson was to her left. The Illusive Man steps past her brushing against her shoulder. The pain in her head makes her squint raising her left hand to her head as if to push out the pain, it has no effect.

"Look at the power I can yield," says the Illusive Man and suddenly Shepard sees herself pointing the pistol at Anderson. _I CAN'T MOVE_, Shepard thinks to herself.

"I can control them Shepard, just as I can control you," said the Illusive Man.

Shepard looks at Anderson again pistol pointing toward him. Something seems different. He is shimmering. Shepard looks at him closer; Anderson is blinking in and out as if he is not part of this world. Confused Shepard just stares. She hears the gun go off, but when it does Anderson is gone. She doesn't understand. She looks down; she feels wetness on her side. She moves her left hand over her side and it comes away thick with blood.

* * *

Shepard wakes suddenly clutching at her stomach. Her sudden movement wakes Liara, she instinctively hugs Shepard. "Elly, are you okay?"

Thrilled at the closeness a part of Shepard wants to push Liara away. _I should be mad at her right? I mean she did lie to me_. But Shepard loves Liara and she didn't stop Saren, the Collectors and the Reapers to not be with the woman of her dreams. Elly snuggles closer to Liara as she mentally lets go of the hurt the asari inflicted on her. "No big deal," she replies. Elly moves her hand down to Liara's tummy. She moves herself down and speaks to their unborn child, "Hello in their little one," Shepard locks eyes with Liara as she speaks with a smile on her face, "There are two people out here who can't wait to meet you." Shepard kisses Liara's stomach.

Seeing the look in Shepard's eyes, Liara knows that her Shepard is back.

Shepard continues kissing Liara, moving slowly up the asari's body. Finally their lips meet. Their hunger for each other deepens and they grab at each other. Flinging clothes off, skin to skin they find comfort in each other like never before. Liara's eyes go black and they embrace eternity.

* * *

"I suppose we should get something to eat," says Shepard as she snuggles against Liara after their long meld. Not wanting to ever leave her side, her warmth the feel of her, her stomach had other ideas, it has been rumbling for that last thirty minutes.

Smiling Liara says, "I think you are right. The rumbling in your stomach sounds like a krogan growling as she nudges Shepard.

"Oh really?" replies Shepard as she starts tickling her bondmate.

Laughing and squirming under her Liara pushes Shepard ever so slightly with her biotics. Shepard is forced off the asari, but lands gracefully in a squat over Liara. "Whoa, you don't play fair," says Shepard as she tries to find new areas to tickle Liara.

"Stop Shepard, please stop," she laughs. Finally Shepard stops as she moves along the side of Liara to kiss her. Liara is the first to break away from the kiss, "I thought you said something about food?"

Shepard looks up at Liara trying her best pout, which is not good. "Why do I have to get it? I think you should go," Shepard says as she kisses Liara along her neck and collarbone.

"Elly, I wouldn't mind a little break."

Elly stops what she is doing and props herself on her elbows to look Liara in the eyes, the smile on her face turns to worry. "Are you okay Liara? Do you feel okay?"

Smiling Liara says, "Yes Elly, I am just hungry is all."

Relieved Shepard gives one last quick kiss on Liara's lips and gets up to get dressed. "Okay, I will get some food and be back in a flash."

* * *

Shepard quickly makes her way to the mess hall. She is in line with two trays grabbing food when Dr. Chakwas approaches.

"Commander."

Shepard feels a shiver through her body. She is happy, actually happy and now it is on the verge of being ruined because now she has to deal with Dr. Chakwas. Without looking at the doctor, she replies, "Doctor."

"I was hoping we could talk."

"Not now," Shepard continues to grab food to fill the trays.

Doctor Chakwas notices that Shepard's mood is good which is why she approached her. She knows Liara is on board; the smile on the commander's face gives hope to the doctor that perhaps Shepard will speak to her. "When you have time then?"

Shepard stops and looks at the doctor. "I'll make this easy for you. I understand what you did, I don't agree with it, but what is done is done."

Chakwas is shocked to say the least. She was expecting Shepard to spew insults or swear or yell at her. The doctor is not sure how to respond.

Before Chakwas can respond, Shepard puts her hand on her shoulder "Just give me some time, okay Karin?" Shepard grabs the food trays and heads for the elevator.

Returning to her quarters Shepard sets the food trays on the table in front of the couch. "Dinner is served."

Liara was not in the bed. "Shepard!" She heard her voice coming from the bathroom.

Shepard rushes into the bathroom, "Liara, what-"Liara is sitting on the floor, bleeding. Liara looks at her with fear in her eyes. Shepard quickly moves to Liara and picks her up.

"It's gonna be okay, you're going to be okay." Shepard carries Liara to the Medbay, thankfully Dr. Chakwas was there eating.

"Karin, we need help!" says Shepard as she lays Liara down on the med bed.

Dr. Chakwas quickly moves to the bed assessing the situation. "What's going on Liara?"

"I don't know, I…I just started bleeding," Liara can't stop her tears.

"Alright, just relax; I am going to run a few scans. Just try to relax," says the doctor.

Shepard stays close holding onto Liara's hand.

"Are you in any pain Liara?" asks Chakwas.

"I have had some cramping." Liara, tears in her eyes looks at Shepard, and then she quickly glances away. Shepard leans over and kisses her forehead.

_How long have you had cramps Liara? God why didn't you tell me?_

"How long have you had the cramping Liara?" asked Chakwas.

"Just the last day or two."

It pains Shepard to hear Liara's words as she had no idea this was happening to her wife. _Why didn't she tell me? Maybe it was because you called her and snarled at her blaming her for lying to you. Is this my fault?_

As if sensing Shepard's thoughts, Liara squeezes her hand, "This is not your fault Elly."

The statement does not make her feel any better. "What's going on Doc?"

Finishing up with the scans Dr. Chakwas says, "The baby is fine, there is no trauma. The bleeding can have multiple causes; it is not uncommon that bleeding occurs during pregnancy. The cramping is what concerns me. I recommend you see your obstetrician when you return to Thessia. I also recommend bed rest for the next week."

Relief on both Liara and Shepard's face, "Is that it?" asks Shepard. "I mean this can't be good."

"She is fine, I assure you Shepard."

Shepard looks at Liara, "We need to get to Thessia then so we can see your obstetrician. We need to find a nurse or someone to stay with you Liara, since I can't be with you. Or maybe I can talk to Hackett and go home, or.."

"Take it easy commander," says Chakwas.

"Hey look Doc, no offence, but I need to hear that Liara is okay from her obstetrician."

"That is fine Shepard; I fully agree that you both should meet with her as soon as possible. For the time being, I recommend Liara rest while you two figure things out. There is time, she is not in danger and neither is the baby. I have seen this before, but I know it can be frightening," says the doctor.

"Elly," says Liara as she squeezes her hand, "I am fine, really."

"I still think I should talk to Hackett, see if I can get shore leave."

"You have just returned Elly-"

"I don't care!" Shepard yelled. "I did NOT fight the impossible to lose you or our baby, I just-" Shepard couldn't finish her sentence, tears tugging at her.

Liara pulls her down to hug her. "It's okay Elly."

Shepard says into Liara's neck, "It's not Liara it's not. I can't lose you, I just can't."

Dr. Chakwas steps away to give the couple privacy. "You are not going to lose me Elly," Liara ducks her head to look into Elly's eyes. "Do you hear me; you are not going to lose either one of us." Liara brushes a tear from Elly's face. "If you talk to Hackett, promise me you will not make any rash decisions. You need to calm down first okay. You don't want to do or say anything you will regret."

Shepard replies, "I promise," as she nuzzles into Liara's neck again.

* * *

"Commander Shepard is here Admiral," says Stacy.

"Show her in Stacy, thank you." The Admiral is hoping the talk with Shepard will go better than their last meeting. He was not happy with how things were left between them. He has new orders for her and is hoping they can come to an understanding even if she is still angry with him.

"Admiral," says Shepard as she salutes.

Hackett returns the salute with an at east command. He gestures for her to sit. "I have new orders for you Shepard, but before I get to that I want to first talk about our last meeting."

Shepard doesn't say anything; her mind is on Liara and the baby, not on her job.

Hackett continues, "I am sorry Commander for keeping the truth from you regarding Admiral Anderson." Shepard doesn't reply, she doesn't appear to be listening. "Shepard?"

Realizing she is not listening to her superior Shepard replies, "I apologize Sir, what were you saying?"

"You okay Commander?"

Not sure if she should trust the man, she simply replies, "Yes Sir."

Not buying it Hackett says, "I was just saying that I apologize for keeping the details of Admiral Anderson's death from you. We were just following orders, thought we were doing what was best for you."

"I understand Sir."

He didn't like that Shepard wasn't arguing. "What's going on Commander?"

"Sir?"

"You are clearly distracted. Does this have to do with our last meeting?"

"No Sir."

"Cut the Sir crap Shepard and be straight with me."

Shepard isn't sure if she can trust him, but what choice does she have. She needs to get Liara back to Thessia and she wants to go with her. Shepard doesn't know if asking for leave is going to work since she has just returned. All she can think about is Liara and the baby and Hackett doesn't even know about the baby yet. _You can either tell him about the baby or you can get your orders and see what happens. He was looking out for you Shepard, you can still trust him. _

Shepard looks the Admiral in the eye. "First I want to say though I am not happy being lied to by the people I trust the most in this world; I understand where you three were coming from. In my opinion keeping the details of Admiral Anderson's death from me was both hurtful and stupid, if you don't mind my saying. Also Sir, I know this is not good timing especially since you have new orders for me, but I respectively request the use of the Normandy to transport Liara back to Thessia."

"Liara? She's here?"

"Yes. But I need to get her back to Thessia as soon as possible and I would prefer she not take public transportation."

Hackett looks at Shepard while he thinks about what she said. _That explains her level of distraction. _"Why does Liara need to get back to Thessia so quickly?"

"It's personal." Shepard says nothing more.

"I see," Hackett is disappointed Shepard doesn't say more. "When will you want to leave for Thessia?"

"As soon as possible Sir."

"Well I guess this is a happy coincidence." Shepard looks at him; it was a look of asking why. "Your orders are to patrol the Parnitha System. Smuggling of element zero has increased. The Alliance has agreed to help the asari, by request of the Council, to patrol the system to try to help cut down on ships smuggling out element zero from Thessia. You will be patrolling Thessia as well as the other planets in the system."

"When do we deploy?"

"We need you ready next week. Having you work on or close to Thessia was a condition of your return to the Alliance Shepard; I am honoring that agreement."

"Yes Sir, thank you Sir."

"You can leave as soon as you are able. I don't have all of the details on your mission just yet, but it will mainly be docking ships and checking their supplies." Hackett stands with his hands behind his back as he walks toward the window in his office. "There is something else Shepard, something we should have told you."

Shepard interjects, "Is this about my so called self-inflicted gunshot wound?"

Hackett turns toward her a little surprised. "You remember?"

"No Sir. Liara told me. She said the surgeon found evidence that made my wound look self-inflicted."

"You are not convinced?"

"I'll be convinced once I remember. I appreciate you telling me though."

"If I could turn back the clock Shepard I would have made a different decision based on the doctor's recommendation."

Shepard can see the sadness in the Admiral's eyes. She stands, "I appreciate that Admiral, I really do." She extends her hand, he gladly takes it.

"I will brief you early next week Shepard."

"Thank you Admiral," says Shepard as she leaves his office.

* * *

It is after dinner when Shepard returns to the Normandy. She makes an announcement to the crew that they are leaving for Thessia within the next two hours and that she has received orders and will brief everyone at 0800 the next morning.

Shepard enters the Medbay looking for Liara. She finds Dr. Chakwas instead. "Where's Liara?"

"She is resting in your quarters Shepard, I hope that is okay."

"She doing okay?"

"Yes commander she is fine."

"Okay, thanks," before the doctor can say anything more Shepard is out the door summoning the elevator.

Entering her quarters she feels a wave of relief flow through her when she sees Liara sitting with her feet up on the couch watching a vid. Joining her she says, "Glad to see you are resting." Shepard leans in to kiss the asari.

"How was your meeting with Hackett?"

"Good. Actually we leave for Thessia soon. I have new orders. Starting next week we are going to patrol the Parnitha system for smugglers. So hopefully I will be home some nights, not just on the weekends, but we will have to see. In the meantime, I want to hire someone to stay with you and watch you."

Snuggling closer to Shepard, Liara says, "I don't really think that is necessary Elly."

"No arguments Liara. You have had enough stress in your life to last five asari lifetimes. You need to slow down, way down. I want to make sure you are okay. You may need to contact Feron to see if he can take on more responsibilities."

"I assure you I can still work and take care of myself."

"Well we can talk about it Liara, let's see what the obstetrician says okay?"

"Okay."

"Did you eat Liara?"

"Yes, did you?"

Shepard thinks a moment.

"I take it that is a no?" smiles Liara. "Perhaps you are the one that needs a nurse Elly."

Laughing Elly hugs her close kissing her crest. "I'm not really hungry anyway. Are you comfortable Liara, you need more pillows or anything?"

"Elly, you are seriously going to drive me crazy with all of your worrying. Karin said everything is fine. I am fine, the baby is fine."

"Sorry, I just want to make sure you have everything you need."

"I just need you to relax, please." Liara holds her hand out; Shepard takes it and sits back down. Shepard is nervous. She doesn't like things that are beyond her control and seeing Liara on the bathroom floor scared her to her core. On her walk back from seeing Hackett, Elly made up her mind that she would retire from the military if Liara had any more problems with the pregnancy. She would share her decision with Liara when the time came. Shepard had sacrificed too much to lose Liara and their baby now. She loved the Alliance, but she loved Liara and their unborn child more.

Enjoying the closeness of Liara, Elly looks over and sees that she has fallen asleep. Elly slowly gets off the couch so as not to wake her. Shepard turns off the vid and gets the bed ready. She picks up Liara and easily places the asari on the bed covering her with the sheet. Changing back into her tank top and shorts, Elly joins Liara in bed. She watches Liara breathe in and out until she gives in to slumber.

* * *

Shepard is the first to wake. She checks on Liara, happy to see she is still sleeping. Taking a shower she gets herself ready for the 0800 briefing.

She holds crew meetings on the second floor of the Normandy in the war room. It is big enough to fit everyone. Everyone quiets down as she enters the room. "Good morning."

"Morning," comes the reply.

"As you all know we are on our way to Thessia. We are finishing our training there. I have orders from Admiral Hackett that deal with the Parnitha system, as I find out more you will be assessed of the situation. We will resume combat training after lunch today at 1300; we will meet in the CIC. Questions?"

No one had any.

"Dismissed."

* * *

Shepard makes her way to the mess hall and grabs two food trays before heading to her quarters. When she enters she sees Liara starting to wake up.

"Hi Liara, I brought breakfast, we should be in Thessia in a few hours. Did you sleep well?"

Yawning, Liara answers, "Yes. How about you?"

"Yes I slept fine," Shepard says as she hugs the asari and kisses her deeply.

"Hmmm, I could get used to waking up to that Elly," says Liara as she makes her way to the couch to eat the tray of food Shepard brought.

"I love you too," says Shepard as she joins the asari to eat. "I need to start training today at 1pm. Are you going to be okay going home on our own?"

Smiling Liara says, "I think I can manage Elly."

"Sorry Liara, I just want to make sure you are taken care of. I don't mean to make you crazy."

"It's okay. Just know that I won't put our baby in danger."

Shepard stopped eating to take Liara's hands into her own. "Hey, hey I know that Liara. I know you will take of yourself and our baby, I didn't 't mean to imply otherwise." Liara did not look at her. Shepard reached her hand to touch Liara's cheek, "Hey, what is it, did I say something to make you mad?"

Liara replies with a half smile, "I am just missing you already, and I know it is selfish of me."

Shepard scoots closer to Liara and places an arm around her shoulders, "Hey, I miss you too. But we are okay now right? I mean, you did what you thought was right Liara. It's okay. I will be home tonight after training and it is almost the weekend where you will have me for two whole days, before you know it you will get sick of me."

A soft giggle escapes from Liara, "I seriously doubt that Elly. Remember we spent months together and I never grew tired of you."

"Well maybe I just need to try harder, now eat your food Liara. I have plans for us before we land," says Shepard as she kisses Liara's earlobe.

"Oh really, I am not sure I can do anything Elly, I am supposed to be resting after all," Liara says with a smile.

"Well," says Shepard as she continues kissing along Liara's jaw line, "I believe you were ordered to bed rest and that is where I plan to have you."

Liara leaning into her kisses says, "I don't think she meant what you have in mind Elly." Shepard stops and looks at Liara with her best pout. Liara says, "Elly you really need to learn how to properly pout."

Elly laughs, "Maybe you can teach me."


	6. Chapter 6

Home at last Liara settles into the secure room in the house. Her first order of business, ask Glyph if any more communications have occurred between Kane and the Council. The answer being no, Liara quickly calls the Thessia Clinic to make an appointment with Dr. T'Dolk. Not able to get in until tomorrow she returns to her shadow broker work.

Kane is the man who was responsible for the kidnapping of Commander Shepard. Though he did not torture her, he was the one who hired the men, gathered the resources to take her for Brad Whitmore. Brad Whitmore is dead; Liara killed him when she entered the locked room where Shepard was tied to the table. It is a scene Liara will never forget, seeing Elly bleeding to death, barely conscious, pools of blood on the floor. When she entered the room and saw the man standing over Elly, the knife still in her right leg, Liara reacted and threw him against the wall with her biotics. He died instantly. Commander Shepard did not want to know anything about Brad Whitmore, but that did not stop Liara finding everything out about him that she could. Liara figures if she can dig up everything she can on him then she will eventually find a connection to Kane.

Her next order of business is to speak with Councilor Tevos, the asari councilor. Liara did not want to involve every council member; she wanted to only speak with the asari about the communication she found between them and Kane. Before the fight with Shepard, Liara had set up an appointment to speak with the councilor, something she could tell Elly after it occurred. Dialing her secure vid phone she is happy to have it answered directly by Councilor Tevos.

"Good afternoon Dr. T'Soni," says Tevos.

"Good afternoon Councilor Tevos, thank you for taking the time to meet with me."

"Of course. What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering about the outcome of Nathan Bender?" Nathan Bender, a.k.a. Squid, was one of the men that kidnapped Shepard. Shepard in fact was the one who escorted him to Minnesota at the Council's request. Neither the council nor the commander knew he was one of the men until Liara told Shepard about it. Shepard found out the other names of Kane's crew before she handed Squid off to the authorities. Arriving with a broken nose and all of his fingers on his right hand broken, the Council never asked the commander about it. Liara knew Elly had hurt the man for information, after much persistence on the asari's part, Liara finally convinced Elly to let her see what she did during one of their melds.

It bothered Liara more to see what hurting Squid did to Shepard than what it did to Squid. Liara could care less the man had broken fingers and a broken nose. But to see Shepard get physically sick and sob at what she did to get information out of the man broke Liara's heart. Liara wanted to be the one to find Kane. She wanted to bring him to justice; she wanted to do that for her bondmate.

"Nathan Bender was found guilty and has been sentenced to life in prison. He is being held in a secure facility in Canada."

"That is good to hear Councilor. Has he by chance had any visitors?"

"I think I know what this is about Dr. T'Soni," says Tevos. "We allowed Squid to contact Kane." Liara did not respond, tried not to show her surprise on the vid phone. "We were hoping we could trace Kane through the communications, but we were unable to."

"I see."

"We still have Spectre Williams in charge of finding Kane, Dr. T'Soni."

"Yes I appreciate that, I just get the feeling that it is not her priority Councilor."

"I would be lying if I said it was. With the Mass Relays fully operational there are other priorities that must be attended."

Trying not to get visibly upset Liara replies with an even tone, "I would think that the kidnapping of one of your Specters, the woman in fact who has saved your life on countless occasions would remain a top priority."

Tevos did not flinch. "I understand your frustration Dr. T'Soni. Please know that with the resources we have we are doing what we can. I will never forget what Commander Shepard has sacrificed for me or for all of us. I will gladly keep you apprised of any additional information we find out."

Knowing she was not going to get any further information from the Councilor, Liara did not push her luck. She knew she hit a nerve bringing up the fact that Shepard has saved her life more than once. She wants to keep on speaking terms with the Councilor, so she allows the conversation to end. "Thank you Councilor Tevos. I appreciate your help and understanding in this matter."

"Of course Dr. T'Soni, good day."

Hanging up the vid phone, Liara orders Glyph to continue his search parameters.

* * *

'Honey, I'm home!" says Shepard as she walks into the house. Liara is relaxing on the couch.

"Elly, I wasn't sure you would be coming home tonight, you look…"

"I know I know, disgusting. Want a hug?" Shepard was filthy. She didn't bother to clean herself up after combat training, which by the looks of it had something to do with lots and lots of mud. She had her sly grin on her face and she approached the asari with arms wide open.

"Don't you dare Elly," says Liara as she is holding up both of her hands in a surrender. "You will track that all over the house."

Her smile broadens, "Oh come on not one little 'ole hug?" she asks as she steps closer.

"I mean it Elly, you will have to clean this up," says Liara as she steps away from the commander.

"Okay okay, maybe I will just sit here then," Shepard feigns sitting down on the couch.

"Nooo Shepard, don't you dare!"

"Okay, okay," laughs Shepard, "I'm just kidding Liara." Shepard never intended to actually sit on the couch. "I am just having fun with you."

"Ha ha," is her reply.

Getting the hint, Shepard's smile fades a little. "Okay, I am gonna hit the shower, you are welcome to join me."

"I think I will pass thank you. By the looks of you it is going to take awhile to get that stuff off of you."

Laughing Shepard walks into their master bathroom to clean herself up.

* * *

"Liara, I can get that," says Shepard as she catches Liara cleaning the last remnants of mud that Shepard tracked in the house. "You are supposed to be relaxing."

"I like things clean Elly you know that."

Shepard bent over the asari and gently took her hands. "Let me finish this up. I didn't mean to make you mad, I thought you would laugh," says Shepard as she kisses Liara on the cheek.

"I am not angry Elly."

"You just go sit, I will finish this up. It's a good thing the mud was dry," says Shepard with a smile as she finishes up the cleaning.

"I have something I need to tell you Elly," says Liara as she sits on the couch.

"Okay, hang on, you want something to drink?

"Water please."

Shepard grabs water for Liara and a beer for herself and plops down next to the asari on the couch putting her feet up on the coffee table. "What's going on?"

Taking a sip from the water, Liara says, "I know you don't want to know about the man who hurt you."

Shepard did not look at her, "Yeah?"

"I am trying to find information on Kane and I feel if I dig into his past I will find a connection."

Taking a swig of her beer the commander says, "Makes sense."

"Glyph did uncover communication between the council and Kane."

Nearly coughing, Shepard looked at Liara, "What?"

Liara placed her hand on Elly's and gave it a light squeeze. "I spoke with Councilor Tevos today about it."

"And?"

"She said she allowed Squid to contact Kane in hopes to trace the communication, but they were unable to find anything."

Shepard took another swig of her beer. "Makes sense." Looking at the asari she asks, "You don't agree?"

"I am not sure. I get the feeling there is more to it, but the Councilor would not say."

"Hmm."

"At any rate, I wanted to let you know, I didn't want you to think I was keeping anything from you."

Shepard set her beer down and faces Liara. "Hey, none of that now. I know you were just following the doctor's order okay. I am sorry I got so angry with you." Liara smiled as Shepard continued, "I know you want to find him Liara, I do too. But I don't think Kane is a threat. I just…."

Liara reaches her hand to touch Shepard's cheek, "What?"

"I am trying to put it behind me. I am reminded of it every time I see myself in the mirror, every time my leg hurts, every time…" she fights the heat behind her eyes.

Liara scoots closer and hugs the commander. "I am sorry Elly, I didn't mean to upset you, I am just trying to be honest with you."

Holding her close Shepard says, "I know Liara, I know. I just try not to think about it." She breaks away from the hug wiping away a stray tear, "Can you promise me something?"

"What?"

"Can you promise me that you won't obsess over this Kane guy? He is not worth it. Ashley is charged with finding him, let her do her job."

Liara broke eye contact. "Liara?"

"I cannot promise that Elly. I want him brought to justice for what he did to you. I cannot let it go as you can."

Shepard stands crossing her arms looking out the family room patio door. Liara approaches her, "I am sorry Elly, but I need to find him."

Without looking at the asari, Shepard asks "Then what?"

"What do you mean?"

"Let's say you find him, then what. What do you want to have happened? I don't want to see him Liara I can't…" Shepard's hands cover her face.

Liara steps in to hug her but Shepard pulls away. "Elly?"

"I need to walk. I'll be back in a bit," she says as she walks out of the patio door to think.

* * *

Shepard took the path not too far from their house. It is a path that leads through the woods. _Why can't she let this go? This happened to her too Elly, not just you. But she's pregnant and needs to take care of herself. If she continues to obsess over this guy when will she have peace? _

_She needs to find him, just like you want to find him. Then what, make him suffer? What is the point? I think the point is that Liara will feel better knowing he is not free anymore, that he is locked up because of what he did to you. _

_She loves you Elly. Remember what she saw Elly. Remember how Liara saw you when she entered the locked room. She needs this and you need to help her through it, even if it hurts. You be there for her now._

* * *

Shepard returns from her walk knowing she needs to finish her conversation with Liara. "Liara?"

Shepard peeks her head into the secure room thinking Liara would for sure be there, she isn't. "Liara?"

Walking into the bedroom she finds Liara coming out of their bathroom. "Hey."

"Hey yourself," says Liara.

Shepard walks up to her placing both hands on the asari's face. "I am sorry I walked out. I got overwhelmed Liara. I want what you want and if you need to keep searching, then I say keep searching."

"I…I don't want to hurt you Elly..but I" Liara closed the gap and hugged Shepard tightly. "I need to find him."

Stroking her back Shepard replies, "I know honey, I know. I'm with you in this, whatever you need."

* * *

Weeks have passed; Liara's visit to the obstetrician confirmed what Dr. Chakwas said, the baby is fine, Liara is fine. Shepard has even been home a few nights a week and every weekend which has allowed the couple to settle into a routine. Liara has been disciplined with herself, getting the necessary sleep every night in their bed, not in the comfy chair.

Shepard and her crew have been patrolling the Parnitha system for over a month now, not finding any smugglers to date. Shepard is briefing her crew on the Normandy in the CIC as she does every morning. "Good morning."

"Good morning," comes the reply.

"I know we have not seen action for awhile but that is no excuse to get sloppy. Today is a new day. Keep yourself sharp. You need to be suited up and ready to go when altered, understood?"

"Understood Sir!"

"Good, keep loose. Dismissed."

The squad and the rest of the crew shuffle out of the CIC.

"Well this is exciting," Joker says sarcastically.

"I know what you mean Joker, but we can't always have excitement. I would think by now you would be happy with the peace we have," says Shepard as she walks with him to the helm.

"Yeah, yeah don't get me wrong, I am all for stopping the smugglers, I was just looking for something more, I don't know..meaty."

"Meaty?"

"You know what I mean. This seems like kids stuff."

"Joker if you are not happy with your assignment, you can always put in for a transfer."

"Hey, I'm not complaining."

"Really, I thought you were," says Shepard with her sly grin appearing.

"I just sometimes miss it ya know?"

"Miss the near death experiences, hmmm, I think you need to talk to someone about that Jeff," says Shepard as she walks toward the CIC.

"Ha ha commander."

Shepard checks the galaxy map. The Parnitha system is comprised of six planets, including Thessia, and an asteroid belt. Though Shepard understands Joker's need for action, Shepard is happy to patrol the system. She doesn't care about excitement so much anymore; she likes being home with her wife and unborn baby. Shepard doesn't really want to admit it, but she is not so sure she wants the military life much longer, not sure it is worth being away from Liara.

"Commander, we have a ship on our port side," says Joker. Shepard joins him at the helm. "That is one big ship commander."

"Yes it is," hitting the comm button Shepard makes an announcement, "Squad get geared and ready to go in five." Turning to Joker she asks, "Do you have information on the vessel?"

"Looks like a class C freighter commander, used for large shipments. It is Batarian class."

"Batarian? Okay, thanks Joker. Hail them and tell them we are coming aboard, I'll be in the shuttle bay getting geared up."

"Aye aye."

"Listen up," says the commander as her squad mates are geared and ready to go. "This is a Batarian freighter, they are not happy they are being boarded. Keep your eyes sharp. There is a large storage area on the ship that we will need to search. Remember, our mission is to see if they are smuggling element zero. Do not fire unless fired upon, understood?"

"Yes Sir," comes the reply.

"We split in two teams, Alhe, you and Langer with me. Schmidt you are in the lead with Nicols and Bering. "Questions?"

Silence.

"Let's go." They enter the shuttle where shuttle pilot Steve Cortez starts the engines and flies toward the Batarian freighter. Seeing the ship's doors open, Cortez lands the shuttle. "You have any issues Cortez, you get the hell out of here, I don't want them taking the shuttle."

"Yes Sir."

The shuttle doors open, Shepard and her squad step off onto the Batarian freighter. They are greeted by a handful of Batarians. Shepard walks up exuding confidence, "Who is in charge here?"

The tallest Batarian steps forward, "I am."

Before leaving the Normandy the squad discussed that they would keep their helmets on and Shepard's identity a secret. Though she did not like the idea, she understood it. Shepard destroyed the Bahak system and the planet Aratoht which housed over 300,000 people. She had to do it to stop the reapers; she bought time for the rest of the galaxy to prepare for the inevitable invasion. Even though it was the right thing to do, she understood the hate the Batarians have of her. Shepard probably hates them just as much since they are the ones who killed her parents and her best friend T.J. when they raided Mindoir.

Pushing the thoughts from her mind Shepard approaches the Batarian extending a hand and says, "I'm Smith. By order of the Council, we are here to conduct a routine search of your ship and inventory. We need your ships manifest. This should not take too long."

The Batarian returned the hand shake, "I'm Spike."

"If you could kindly point to where your shipments are, we will get to work."

Spike escorted the squad of six to the back of the ship. It was larger than the Normandy, it consisted of two levels, the main level contained mostly storage, while the second level was the communications area and the helm.

Shepard walked along side of Spike; she was flanked by Alhe and Langer. Schmidt held back further making sure no one was behind the group while Nicols and Bering walked ahead of him. Two other Batarians were with them, they walked behind Spike.

So far the ship seemed to be full of only Batarians, Shepard did not see a lot of them, but did notice about five or six when she looked up at the second floor. One of the Batarians approaches Spike with a data pad, "The manifest." Spike hands the data pad to Shepard. Shepard passes it along to Langer who glances at the content.

"So what are you doing out here?" Shepard asks while walking.

"Working."

"Yeah I see that," says Shepard as she tries to think what else to say. "What kind of work?"

"Look, you want to search the place fine, but I don't need to talk to you," the Batarian snarled.

Shepard merely nodded. _Okay, not a talkative guy. _

"In there," the Batarian pointed to a very large warehouse sized room where containers were neatly stacked all over the room. It could take hours to check every one. There was one door that led into the room Shepard did not see a second entry or exit.

"Thank you Spike. We will be as quick as we can, we appreciate your cooperation." The Batarian huffed away saying something under his breath that Shepard didn't quite catch. The two other Batarians with them stood and watched her squad.

Shepard signaled to Nicols to step closer. "You watch these two guys, make sure that door stays clear okay?"

"Yes Sir," says Nicols.

Shepard turns to the Batarians lifting her arms up as if corralling a horse. "Please stand over here out of the way if you insist on observing. If you have any questions in the meantime, you can ask Nicols here." The Batarians stood where Shepard wanted them to. If there was trouble, she did not want the only exit to the room blocked.

The progress was a bit slow but there were a lot of containers to check, so far the list on the data pad was matching to what was stored.

"Things are clean here," says Schmidt.

"Good, good, keep looking," says Shepard.

"Commander," says Alhe.

Shepard approaches Alhe, "What is it?"

"Take a look." Inside a large container was another container that Alhe found a switch for revealing the secret compartment. It contained element zero, which was not on the list of items the ship is carrying.

"Commander!" It was Nicols who yelled, the biotic soldier who was guarding the door.

Shepard and squad quickly snap up their weapons and look toward Nicols.

Eight armed Batarians enter the room. The two already in the room tried to get Nicols off balance. She was able to suspend the two high in the air until the eight Batarians entered the room. One hit her hard then she slumped to the ground without a sound. The two Batarians that were suspended crashed to the ground breaking a few boxes unconscious.

"Get them!" ordered Spike.

Shepard and squad quickly take cover. "Joker, do you copy?"

"Aye Commander,"

"We are un…" The communication is cut off; a sharp high pitched sound bursts in Shepard's ear. "Damn, we are cut off. Schmidt move left."

"Yes Sir."

Shepard and her squad move to the right, with Shepard in the lead. The containers all over the warehouse sized room make little hallways. They are neatly stacked, but the different areas of attack are too many. With Langer on her six and Alhe to her left, Shepard keeps the neatly stacked containers on her right side as the squad moves slowly but quickly down a hallway. Coming to the end of the stack of containers Shepard slowly peeks out. A bullet whizzes by, immediately she knows the gunman is above her. She dives from cover, as she finishes her roll she readies her weapon and fires three quick shots. The Batarian who was positioned on top of a container falls to his death. Alhe and Langer catch themselves with their jaws open in astonishment. Shepard signals to them to move.

Schmidt and Bering watching each other's back slowly make their way through one of the container hallways. They hear a weapon firing from Shepard's general position. Bering snaps his weapon up to see if anyone is coming. A Batarian from above them lands on the pair, Bering loses his weapon as it skids across the floor. Seeing one man unarmed, the Batarian turns to Schmidt and fires his weapon. Schmidt was just as fast with his weapon as gunshots roared out. Schmidt's shields held up as the two bullets from the Batarian ricocheted off. The Batarian however was not as lucky; he took two in the chest and slumped over immediately.

Bering jumps to his feet to grab his weapon, as he does he makes the mistake of leaving cover and is hit with a bullet. The force of the shot knocks him down and away from his weapon, the second shot breaks through his shield and finds flesh after tearing through his armor. "Aahh!"

Schmidt, seeing his squad mate make a stupid rookie mistake, climbs the container to spot the shooter. The Batarian is positioned on top of a container about 15 yards away. Schmidt steadies his weapon and fires. The Batarian moves from his position, Schmidt is not sure if he hit his target or not. Jumping back on the ground he checks in front then behind him before he moves. Peeking from cover, he quickly grabs and drags Bering back to the container to give him some cover. "You okay?"

"Yeah, it's my side."

"Hang tight," says Schmidt as he grabs for his medigel to put on the wound. "Take it," says Schmidt. Bering takes the medigel and applies it himself while Schmidt grabs the weapon dropped by the Batarian and hands it to Bering. "You take this. I need to keep moving, there are at least six more I think."

"Yeah, two in the room then I saw eight come in," says Bering as he gingerly sits up and readies his new weapon.

"I think Nicols took out the two by the door. I count this one and maybe one from Shepard's location, which makes six you're right. Make sure you watch above you too," says Schmidt as he readies himself to leave cover.

"Be careful," whispers Bering.

Shepard and her squad make it to the side of the room with the only door. She sees Nicols lying unconscious. Shepard has no idea what lies beyond the door. "You two cover me," she says crouching down. She slowly makes her way to the open door. Quickly peering out she doesn't see anyone. There are plenty of areas to hide but doesn't worry about it now. She grabs Nicols and pulls her into cover where Alhe and Langer wait.

"Check her," orders Shepard as she keeps watch. Langer is watching their six. Alhe carefully removes Nicol's helmet. She is bleeding from her nose and is unconscious. She is relieved when she finds a pulse. "She's alive." Alhe shakes her a little, "Tricia can you hear me?" No response.

Shepard moves to her location. "Alhe, you stay with her. Langer, you and I need to keep moving. Let's double back a bit and cross the room to see if we can meet up with Schmidt and Bering. I don't want to get flanked by anyone that may come through that door. Alhe, you watch that door and shoot anyone who enters if they are not Alliance, you got it?"

"Yes Sir."

"If Nicols wake ups, keep her quiet, don't let her move around too much."

"Yes Sir."

"We got this Alhe, okay, you with me?"

"Yes Sir."

Shepard signals to Langer to move out.

Being an engineer Bering is working on getting communications up all the while checking his corners and above him. He feels like a sitting duck.

Schmidt winds his way down another hallway of containers. He sees the end of a rifle appear in front of him, he slowly waits for the person holding it to appear. Kneeling down and steadying his weapon he waits. The Batarian slowly reveals himself; he doesn't even look Schmidt's way. Schmidt, finger on the trigger starts to pull it when he feels something hit him from behind. The floor races to his face and he sees nothing but darkness.

Shepard and Langer quietly make their way through a hallway. Shepard points to a direction where she just heard something. Nodding Langer follows checking their back and above them. Shepard peeks out and as she does a Batarian is right in front of her. Instinct kicking in she lifts her weapon, but the Batarian is too close. He shoves her on her back. Langer fires at him then checks his back. A second Batarian is mid air, jumping from the top of the container. Shepard fires her weapon she still has in her hand while on her back; he is dead before he hits the ground. Langer dodges the falling Batarian and rolls up with weapon pointing at the Batarian still on top of Shepard. Shepard tries to twist from under the Batarian; he manages to knock her weapon from her hand. She sees the Batarian bring up a knife. Shepard flashes to her home in Mindoir. Feels herself trapped under the floor boards as she watches the knife get swallowed by her mother's body. Her mom slumps over eyes fixed on her as she remains hidden and tries not to scream. She can almost feel the knife….

"Shepard!" Yells Langer. He fires three quick shots, the Batarian on top of her slumps over. Langer is at her side in seconds hoisting him off of her. He sees her eyes open, not sure why she is just lying there, he shakes her, Shepard!"

Shepard sees Langer bending over her. _What the hell? _Blinking rapidly as if to snap herself to attention, Langer slaps her face, "Hey, you with me?"

Shepard raises her arm to block the next blow, "Yeah, yeah."

"What the hell Shepard?"

Before she can reply another Batarian makes an appearance behind Langer. Shepard quickly grabs at her nearby weapon and fires taking him down.

They both crouch checking above and around them. Langer looks at Shepard, "You okay?"

"Yes, we need to move." Shepard can feel blood dripping down her side beneath her armor she doesn't know how bad it is she just knows she needs to keep moving. She also knows she just flashed back to Mindoir, _Shit it_ _felt so real_. She pushes the thought from her mind, "How many are left you think?"

"Shit, not sure."

"Shepard!" They both freeze. "What the fuck are you doing here Shepard?"

"Shit Shepard, I'm sorry I said your name."

"Don't worry about it, stay focused, let's move." Shepard and Langer wind their way through another hallway of containers.

"You got nothing better to do than kill more Batarians! I am gonna kill you Shepard, you killed my whole family you BITCH!"

Shepard could only surmise that it was Spike talking.

"…perd"

Shepard holds up a hand to stop Langer. "Co…. n….erd" "Joker is that you? If you can hear me we are under attack, we need reinforcements." Shepard hears gunfire behind their location. "Shit, we need to get to higher ground. Let's make our way to the back corner then position ourselves up top."

"Sounds good." They both weave their way toward the back corner of the room. As Shepard peeks down a hallway she sees Bering. They quickly approach him. "Bering, you okay." His head is down; Shepard hopes he is not dead. Checking him she sees he applied medigel to a wound in his side. "He has a pulse, he is just passed out. Sit tight Langer I'm climbing up."

Shepard slowly finds the needed footholds to make her way atop the container. She slowly drags herself on her stomach to get a better view. She sees two Batarians on the ground, not far from Alhe's position. She does not see any more. A bullet hits her shield, smacks her back a little. The two Batarians on the ground look up and see her position. "Shit a sniper," another bullet smacks into her shields and she hears it giving off an overload warning. She quickly makes her way down from the container. Looking to Langer she says, "We got two incoming."

She peeks out to see if she can see them, they were grouped a bit too tightly. Shepard opens fire. The front Batarian goes down, the second one is able to get a few shots off in her direction before he slumps to the ground. "You see anyone?" asks Shepard.

"Nothing here," says Langer.

"I think the sniper is that Spike guy. He is straight ahead of us."

Langer approaches the commander, "Shit, you're hit."

Shepard didn't notice due to her adrenaline. She looks down and sees blood streaming down along her left hand. "I'm fine. I have an idea."

Alhe could see the end of the sniper rifle from her cover. Checking on Nicols, still unconscious, Alhe decides to move from her cover to get a better vantage point to take out the sniper. She slowly and quietly climbs the container not from her current position.

"If I show myself it will distract him and you can take him out," says Shepard. "Think you can make the shot?"

"Yeah, but your shields are out, you get hit you have no protection."

"You let me worry about that. Just get in position."

Not the best angle, Alhe can only see a partial shoulder of the sniper. From her position he cannot see her. She looks left and sees Shepard on the ground and Langer getting into position on top of a container. Alhe readies her weapon, sites on her target.

Langer slides on his belly on top of the container. A shot rings out, the sniper has spotted him. Shepard leaves her cover running toward the sniper in the middle of the room. "Hey over here asshole!" She has no idea when he may fire or not fire, so she trusts her instincts and quickly rolls left.

Langer in position now aims down his sites.

Shepard is up, a bullet hits the container to her left as she springs to her feet after her roll. Running in a crooked line she starts another roll to her right.

Three gunshots ring out. Shepard stands and finds cover trying to figure out what she just heard.

"Got him!" yells Langer.

"Target down!" Shepard recognizes the voice as Alhe.

"Watch the door!" yells Shepard as she quickly makes her way to one side of the door. She peeks out and sees reinforcements coming. When they reach her, she orders them to sweep the room to ensure all targets are down.

Moving to Nicols, Shepard checks again for a pulse, relieved when she finds one. Alhe climbing down from her position asks, "How is she?"

"She is still out. "

"Clear!"

"Clear!"

Shepard hears everyone give the all clear.

Pointing to the reinforcements Shepard says, "Four stay here, two of you with me, we need to check the helm, Alhe, Langer with me."

Shepard leads the small group to the second floor. They meet no resistance. No one was at the helm of the ship. "Get Chakwas in here now, we have multiple injuries." "Langer, Alhe, secure the containers, you two go with them."

"Aye aye."

Shepard approaches Chakwas who has Nicols on a stretcher, "How is she Doc?"

Moving toward the back of the room where she knows another injured soldier waits, Chakwas replies, "Her vitals are good, I think she just has a concussion but won't know until I get back to the Normandy." She bends over to check Bering. "Get him on a stretcher."

"Over here," yells Langer, "It's Schmidt.

Chakwas and Shepard follow the voice to find Schmidt face down. Chakwas checks for a pulse, he has one. "Help me turn him."

Langer and Shepard move to turn him but Shepard has no strength in her left arm "Aghh!" she lets out a loud gasp.

Dr. Chakwas looks at Shepard and curses herself for not looking at her sooner. "Shepard!"

Moving into a sit, Shepard says "I'm okay…-"

"You are not okay. Get me a stretcher now! Langer help me with her breastplate." Shepard's head was starting to swim. The lights in the room were too bright, the voices in the room too muffled.

Upon removing the breastplate, Chakwas pushes Shepard to lie down. She sees through her shirt that Shepard is bleeding profusely. Tearing her shirt to expose her torso, she sees two gunshot wounds one in her left shoulder the other in the right side of her stomach near her hip. Langer sees the scars on Shepard's torso that are not covered in blood, "Holy Shit!"

"Either help me Langer or step back!" barks Chakwas. She looks at Shepard whose eyes are fluttering, "Stay with me Commander. Where is that stretcher?" Two men quickly appear with a stretcher. They carefully lift her now unconscious body onto the stretcher and get her back to the Normandy.


	7. Chapter 7

"_Look at the power I yield Shepard! I can control them as I can control you!" says the Illusive Man._

"You can't….control…."

""Move we need to hurry!" says Dr. Chakwas as the two men carrying the stretcher with Commander Shepard's bleeding body quickly move to the shuttle. They set the stretcher down inside the shuttle, Chakwas checks her vitals.

"You didn't ….earn….it" says Shepard to the Illusive Man.

"Shepard, Shepard can you hear me?" asks Dr. Chakwas.

"Who is she talking to?" asks Alhe who is nearby securing the very groggy Nicols for transport back to the Normandy. Shepard appears to be delirious.

"_I can control them Shepard," says the Illusive Man._

"You can't, don't you see, they…..control….you."

Dr. Chakwas checks Shepard's pupils, "Dilated and responsive."

"We will be on the Normandy in five," says Cortez from the pilot's chair.

_Shepard sees Anderson to her left pistol aimed and ready to fire. She sees him shimmer in and out, he's not there, he is not here Shepard, she thinks to herself. Anderson is not here, he never made it to the Citadel._

"_Shepard, think of the power!" says the Illusive Man._

"No!" says Shepard.

"Commander Can you hear me?" asks Chakwas again.

"Is she dreaming Doc?" asks Alhe.

"No fever, running another scan," says Chakwas.

_Shepard turns her pistol on the Illusive Man. "You didn't earn such power. They must be destroyed," says Shepard. _

"Must be ….destroyed…"

_Shepard pulls the trigger, the Illusive Man collapses to the ground. Shepard makes her way to the console in the circular room. She presses a button, the arms of the Citadel start to open. Feeling exhausted Shepard sits to take in the view as she hovers above Earth._

"Joker, tell the medical team to get the blood ready," yells Chakwas as the shuttle approaches the Normandy.

Shepard whispers, "You would …loved..th..…Anderson."

"_You would have loved this view Anderson," says Shepard as she sits feeling her eyes get more and more heavy. _

"_Commander Shepard!" says Admiral Hackett._

_Snapping her head up, "What do you need?" _

"Move her to the bed," instructs Chakwas, as Shepard continues to talk to no one in particular.

"What….need?"

"_It isn't working, nothing is happening. Commander Shepard?"_

_Feeling as if dragging herself through mud carrying a 100 pound backpack Shepard cannot stand. She drags herself to the console. Fire the weapon Shepard, fire the weapon._

"Must….fire," says Shepard.

"Is the blood ready?" asks Chakwas.

"Yes doctor."

_Shepard manages to get herself up to see the console. She sees the button to push. She pushes the button and sees a clock counting down. Shit, I need to move, need to get out._

"Need…move," groans Shepard.

"Shepard, this is Dr. Chakwas, I am giving you a sedative now for surgery, you have been wounded. You are on the Normandy. Can you hear me?"

"It's…blow," she mumbles.

_It's gonna blow, you need to move Shepard. Elly crawls as fast as she can down the ramp that leads into the circular room. Knowing her time is almost out, her thoughts turn to Liara. I love you my blue beauty, I'm sorry I didn't make it back to you. I so wanted our little blue….._

_Shepard feels her body fly thru the air wrapped in fire before darkness swallows._

* * *

_Shepard feels soft fingers on her face. Hears her voice, am I dreaming? Liara is that you?_

"_It's her it's Shepard!" I hear you Liara, I can hear you. What is on top of me, I can't move._

"_Elly, I am here. It's Liara. Stay with me." _

_Liara?_

_On three everyone," _

_Aggh my leg, what is happening where am I?_

_Elly hears Liara whisper in her ear, "I love you Elly stay with me, stay with me."_

"_I'm here Liara."_

"….here Liara," moans Shepard.

"Shepard," say Chakwas putting a hand on the commander's unwounded shoulder, "Lie still."

"What…where,"

"You are on the Normandy Commander. You suffered two gunshot wounds; you are going to be just fine."

Trying to sit up Shepard says, "Are they dead?"

Pushing her harder on the shoulder Chakwas moves Shepard back down, "All but two Batarians are dead Commander yes. Your squad is safe, you are safe now."

Confused, head still spinning, Shepard says, "What?"

Chakwas, concerned asks "Shepard?"

"The Reapers, are the Reapers dead?" asks Shepard.

Chakwas checks her pupils again thinking Shepard suffered a head injury. "Yes Shepard, the reapers are dead," Chakwas grabs a scanner. "Lie still commander, you have been wounded. You just had surgery Shepard; do you know where you are?" The scan shows nothing out of the ordinary. Chakwas is not sure why the commander is confused.

Shepard with tired eyes looks around, "I'm with you Karin."

"That's right commander, do you know where?"

Eyes fluttering slightly she replies, "Normandy."

"Do you remember anything?"

"I remember shooting the Illusive Man," replies Shepard.

Chakwas is happy Shepard is remembering what happened after she entered the beam, but is not happy that she thinks she just did it when it occurred over 8 months ago.

"What else commander?" asks the doctor as she readies a sedative.

Moving her hand to her head, Shepard says, "Where am I?"

Doctor Chakwas leans over the commander so Shepard can see her face as she carefully moves Shepard's hand away from her head. "You are on the Normandy commander. I am Dr. Chakwas."

Blinking a few times Shepard looks at Chakwas, but doesn't seem to see her. "What happened?"

"You were wounded commander, do you remember?"

"So tired," eyes fluttering, Shepard passes out.

* * *

"I'm telling ya Doc, she froze," says Langer.

Shepard slowly opens her eyes hearing muffled voices; she blinks a few times to try to get her bearings.

"Are you sure Langer, because I saw her kick some Batarian ass in there," it was Alhe speaking now.

"Hello?" murmured Shepard. She feels a body move closer to her.

"Shepard, can you hear me?" asks Dr. Chakwas.

Opening her eyes a little she replies, "Yeah."

"Welcome back Commander," says Chakwas.

"Yeah welcome back Shepard," says Alhe.

"That's enough from you two, please leave, you can talk to the commander later," says Chakwas as she shoos Langer and Alhe out of the med bay.

"What was that about?" asks Shepard as she tries to sit up.

Placing a hand on her shoulder, "None of that, you need to stay in bed for the night Shepard."

Lying back with a wince she says, "How are the others?"

"Everyone is fine. Bering is sleeping, he should wake up tomorrow."

"How bad?"

"He had a bullet lodged into his rib, no major damage. Both Schmidt and Nicols suffered mild concussions."

"Damn it," says Shepard as she moves her arm over her eyes.

"You need to rest Commander you should be fine tomorrow; do you know where you are?"

Shepard moved her arm away to look at the doctor with furrowed brows, "The Normandy in your med bay."

"Do you remember your squad mates?"

"Uh, yeah, you just told two of them to get out."

"What are their names?"

Not sure why she is being asked such obvious questions, she answers, "Sounded like Alhe and Langer, why are you asking?"

"You were a little out of it for awhile; I wanted to make sure you were fully back."

"What are my injuries, my hip feels like it is on fire," asks Shepard.

"I can give you more for the pain. You had two gunshot wounds, left shoulder and the right side of your abdomen, near your hip. Do you want me to call Liara?"

"No, I can. She wasn't expecting me home tonight anyway. How far away are we from Thessia?"

"Couple of hours."

"Any chance I can sleep in my quarters?"

"I'd prefer you stay here for the night so I can monitor you."

"Can you help me sit up at least so I can call Liara?"

"Sure, I will come back later to give you another sedative."

"Thanks Doc."

* * *

"Hello?"

"Hey," says Shepard.

"Hey yourself. How are you Elly? I wish you were home."

Sighing Shepard says, "Me too believe me."

"Are you okay Elly you look tired?"

"So I need to tell you something, are you sitting down?"

"I am now, what's going on?"

"Okay, well just so you know, I am fine okay."

"Elly?"

"We met with some resistance today when checking a freighter."

"What kind of resistance?"

Scratching the back of her neck, "The armed Batarian kind."

"What happened?" asks Liara trying not to get too upset.

"Four of the squad was injured. I took two bullets, but I'm fine."

"Goddess Shepard, are you sure?"

"Yes. The Doc says I will be up on my feet tomorrow which means I will be home mid morning, I hope that is okay."

"Of course it is Elly. How is the rest of your squad, what happened?"

"They are all good and I will tell you about it tomorrow. I'm still pretty tired, so if you don't mind I am gonna cut our talk short. I love you Liara, I didn't want you to worry."

"I love you too Elly and thank you for calling. I will see you tomorrow."

* * *

"You didn't have to pick me up," says Shepard as Liara grabs her bag from her quarters.

"Nonsense, you ready to go?"

"Yep, the Doc says I need bed rest for two days and with the weekend so close we all get a nice long 4 day weekend."

"Well I have the bed all ready for you," says Liara as they enter the elevator.

Wrapping her arm around the asari, "Oh really, that is what I like to hear," says Shepard hugging Liara from behind and kissing her behind her neck, her very sensitive area on the back of her neck.

Feeling her nerves on fire Liara hopes the elevator is slow today. Elly pushes the emergency button and moves Liara against the wall as she presses her body into her while moving her mouth to Liara's kissing her deeply.

The elevator bell falling on deaf ears, Elly moves her hands over Liara's body as she moves her mouth down her neck, "Elly…." gasps Liara, "we.."

"Shhh" Elly covers Liara's mouth with her own again.

"Shepard, you okay in there?" asks Joker over the comm system.

Elly stops what she is doing as they both catch their breath, she whispers, "He does like to interrupt doesn't he." They both smile at each other while their foreheads meet. "We are fine Joker, false alarm." Elly pushes the button, the annoying ringing ends and the elevator moves again.

Liara quickly grabs Shepard's bag before the elevator doors open, trying to look normal. They walk hand in hand through the CIC and out of the door.

"Hey Commander," says Alhe as she runs up to speak to Shepard.

"Hey Alhe, this is my wife Dr. Liara T'Soni, Liara this is Jen Alhe."

"Hello, nice to meet you," says Liara.

"You too Dr. T'Soni. Commander if I could grab you for a second?"

Turning to Liara with a slight squeeze of her hand, Shepard says "I'll be right there." Walking a few paces with Alhe, "What can I do for you?"

"I wanted to see how you were feeling; I didn't get a chance to check in on you."

Shepard stares at Alhe, "You draw the short straw?"

Letting out a breath Alhe knows Shepard has caught her. "I guess so."

"Speak your mind solider."

"Well I heard what happened from Langer and I was wondering if anyone in particular needed to be notified."

Shepard studies her for a moment. She knows that freezing during the mission like she did put her life and Langer's life in danger. She was hoping it was not noticeable, but she knows better. "It won't happen again."

"Of course Sir, I just didn't know if I should say anything."

Shepard places a hand on her shoulder. "I appreciate you coming to me Alhe. You have nothing to worry about." Shepard looks behind Alhe and in the distance sees Langer. "Now if you will excuse me."

Shepard walks toward Langer. He sees her coming and gets noticeably nervous. She waves him to step closer.

"Yes Sir," says Langer.

Looking him straight in the eye Shepard says, "The next time you have a concern I expect to hear it from you Langer."

Not sure how to respond he looks down.

"I understand your concern, but you are going about it all wrong. You should have come to me from the start. But I have to hear it waking up in the Med bay and now again from Alhe."

Still fidgeting, he only holds eye contact for seconds before looking away.

Shepard places her hand on his shoulder. "Look, its okay to be concerned, I would be too if I saw you freeze up. But you need to come to me and talk to me directly, you understand?"

Making eye contact now he replies, "I'm sorry Commander. I wasn't sure what to do. I guess I am not even sure if what I saw was what I saw, if that makes sense."

"And what did you see exactly?" asks Shepard.

"Well, the Batarian had his knife drawn and you just watched him stab you. I mean you didn't move. It scared me Sir."

"Me too Langer. I appreciate your concern. In the future please come to me okay?"

"I will Sir. I mean, are you okay?"

"Hey, I am fine soldier. You had my back just like I had yours," Shepard was referring to the Batarian that jumped mid air toward Langer that she was able to take out before the Batarian on top of her stabbed her. And he knows that she is also referring to the Batarian that was behind Langer that she also killed. "I know the knife did not penetrate my armor, but it could have been bad, I get it. You have nothing to worry about. I won't say this again Langer, next time you have a concern you come to me I don't like gossip on my ship. The way you went about this was all wrong, but I know you had good intentions."

"Yes Sir."

"Alright, you have fun on your time off," says Shepard.

"Thank you Sir, you too, see you Monday."

Shepard gets into the sky car. "What was that all about?" asks Liara.

"I'll tell ya later," says Shepard. Liara notices that her mood has dropped.

As they make their way home Liara asks, "So does this mean we aren't going to have sex when we get home?"

If Shepard was drinking something she certainly would have spit it out. Laughing out loud breaking her sullen mood she laughs, "Of course we are, and then I will sulk I promise," she says as she kisses the back of Liara's free hand.

* * *

During the meld Liara came across some barriers from Elly that she was not willing to bring down. As always, Liara never pressured the commander to reveal to her what lie behind the barriers, but it did concern her that more seemed to be appearing.

Liara felt extreme need from Elly. Elly was almost desperate during the meld, as if she would never be with Liara again. It freighted Liara a little though she kept those feelings out of the meld. She instead focused on providing love and comfort. After awhile Shepard reciprocated with love and comfort, Liara no longer felt the urgent need from Elly. It was as if Shepard needed reassurance that Liara was not going anywhere before she could relax into Liara and into their joining.

* * *

"Liara can you help me with this please?" asks Shepard as she walks into their family room wearing only shorts and needing help applying ointment to her two wounds.

"I could have come to you Elly," says Liara as she gets up off the couch. This is the first time Liara is seeing the commander's new wounds. Though they have healed a little from yesterday they are still red and inflamed and look painful. Gently applying the ointment Liara sees Elly wince a little. "You okay?"

"Yeah, it's not too bad."

"Need help with your shirt?"

"Please."

Holding out the short sleeve shirt, Elly puts her left arm in it without lifting her shoulder while Liara maneuvers the rest of the shirt over her head and right arm.

"Thanks," says Shepard as she kisses Liara on the lips. "Be right back," she says as she disappears into the bedroom.

Liara sits back down on the couch reading a data pad, Elly comes out to join her. "Can I join you?"

"Of course Elly, please."

"Head or feet?" asks Shepard. She is referring to what Liara wants on her lap, Elly's head or her feet, since Elly wants to lay down on the couch with her.

"Head."

Elly gently lies down on her back resting her head comfortably in Liara's lap. Liara's hand moves gently through the human's hair while she continues to read her data pad.

Elly, enjoying Liara's touch, keeps her eyes closed.

"Do you want to tell me what happened yesterday?" asks Liara.

Rubbing at her right leg and hip Elly says, "I don't even know where to begin."

"The beginning is always a good spot," smiles Liara.

"Well it's just my luck that after a month of searching ships that the first Batarian one would be the threat, I should have known better. I had a weird feeling the minute I introduced myself. Oh which by the way was not as Commander Shepard because of well you know, the Bahak System."

The commander continued to explain how the search was pretty routine until they found one container that had a secret opening to a smaller container inside which housed element zero. Shepard didn't have time to say anything before eight armed Batarians made an appearance. She described how she split her teams, how she helped get Nicols to cover and had Alhe stay with her.

"I don't even remember getting shot the first time; I have no idea when it happened. But then I froze again."

Playing with her hair Liara was in a small trance until she heard Elly say the word 'froze again'. "What happened?"

Elly looked up at the asari, their eyes locked, Liara stopped playing with her hair so Elly held it as she spoke. "I was rounding a corner and a Batarian was right there. I brought up by pistol but he tackled me. I saw from my back that another one was jumping down to get Langer. I was able to fire on him and take him out, but then the one on top of me." Elly broke eye contact.

"You can tell me Elly."

"He pulled a knife. It was like all of a sudden I'm back in Mindoir under the crawl space of my house watching my mother die. It was so real Liara; it was as if I could smell her ya know." Tears form in her eyes as she continues, "Anyway, she gets stabbed and falls right over where I am hiding looking at me. I don't know how long I froze, I just know that the Batarian stabbed me, but my armor prevented it from breaking skin. Langer took him out. Next thing I know he is slapping me on the face. So I snap out of it in time to take down the Batarian that was behind him."

"Oh Goddess Elly."

"I know. If I was any slower then I don't know…." Elly didn't need to finish the sentence.

"Is that what you were talking to Alhe about and that other soldier before you got in the car?"

"Yeah. She asked me about it, asked if she is supposed to notify anyone. I told her I was taking care of it then I told Langer to come to me with his concerns not make anyone else do it for him."

"Does this mean you will actually call Dr. Snowden now?"

"I did before you picked me up; she can squeeze me in tomorrow. It's not like I avoided her on purpose Liara, I just didn't have any more episodes until yesterday. I didn't think I needed to see her."

"Well I'm glad that she is able to make time."

"Yeah I am super excited," Shepard says with sarcasm.

"Did Langer tell you how long you were frozen?" asks Liara ignoring Elly's sarcasm.

"I didn't ask. If you think about it, it was long enough to get stabbed, have the Batarian get shot, then slapped by Langer. I am guessing maybe 10 seconds if that."

"Even so."

"Exactly. I won't go back in the field if I can't figure out how to not freeze. We did not fight the damn Reapers and everything else that has come our way for me to be stupid."

Liara smiles and returns to playing with Elly's hair.

"I am so sorry Liara."

"What for?"

"I just don't want to worry you."

"Elly, if you were not getting help, then I would worry. If you didn't talk to me, I would worry. I do still worry about the walls you are putting up."

Yawning Elly says, "I wanted to talk to you first before showing you. I didn't want to see what I went through so soon after going through it, does that make sense?"

"Yes."

Yawning again, "What are you reading?"

Smiling Liara says, "It's a book on the Protheans."

"I would have thought you read them all by now Liara," sly grin appearing.

"Not quite. I think you need to go to bed Elly."

"Will you come with me, you can still read."

"Of course." Elly moves her head so Liara can stand up first then help Elly stand up. "You take your pain meds?"

"I did, I think that is why I am so tired."

Liara helps Elly to bed by tucking her in. The asari quickly changes into her nightshirt then settles in on her side of the bed which is quickly invaded by Elly who nestles up to the asari as she lies back against the headboard and pillows to continue reading.

"I love you Dr. T'Soni."

"I love you Elly, sleep well."

Elly moves her hand to Liara's stomach, "Goodnight little one, we love you."


	8. Chapter 8

Liara grabs her cup of tea as she enters the secure room while Elly sleeps in. "Glyph what do you have for me?" she asks.

"Good morning Dr. T'Soni. There is a list of prisoners Brad Whitmore had contact with on station A. The second list is the cellmates he had."

Liara starts reading a nearby data pad, "Did you find out if he escaped?"

"Yes. During the reaper attack in New York, Earth, the prison structure suffered damage and many prisoners either escaped or died."

"Any new information on Kane?"

"No Dr. T'Soni. Still conducting searches with specified parameters, no output at this time."

"Thank you Glyph. Please display current agent assignments on station B."

"Yes Dr. T'Soni."

Liara looks through the list of cellmates Brad Whitmore had during his incarceration. The man who tortured Shepard had a disturbing list of convictions. 4 counts rape, 3 counts aggravated assault, 1 count murder. It appears his last rape turned into murder. Liara shivers at the thought on what he would have done to Shepard had they not found her in time. The list of cellmates was a small list; only 3 names were on it. It was time to dig into them to see if she can find a connection to Kane.

"Hello?" says Shepard from the secure room's doorway.

Too engrossed in her work, Liara does not hear her.

Knocking on the doorframe Elly tries again, "Permission to enter Shadow Broker."

This gets Liara's attention. Elly notices the intense look on the asari's face and how it quickly fades when Liara looks at her.

"Elly," she says with surprise in her voice. "I'm surprised you are up, how are you feeling?" Liara quickly turns off a few monitors. "How long have you been standing there?"

Shepard ignores the fact that Liara turned off the monitors, she figures it has to do with Kane. "I'm doing good, just a bit sore still. I wanted to know if you have had breakfast yet?"

"Uh no not yet. Why don't you let me make some for you," says Liara as she approaches Elly to walk past her.

Elly holds up her arms to stop the asari. "I got it. You look busy. I will call you when it's done."

"You sure?"

"Yep," Shepard leans in to kiss Liara full on the lips. As she pulls away she whispers, "Good morning."

Liara pulls Elly in holding her tightly while she kisses the human passionately. "Hmm, good morning. We can always eat later," suggests Liara as she slowly pushes Elly out of the doorway while pulling at her shorts.

Backing out of the room in full embrace, Elly whispers back "I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

After the meld the couple lounges in bed enjoying each other's closeness.

"Hey, when is your next obstetrician appointment, I want to make sure I make it?" asks Shepard.

"Hmm, I believe it is either two or three weeks from now. I would love it if you came," says Liara as she kisses the top of Shepard's head as they snuggle.

"So, I get to go see Dr. Snowden today," says Shepard. Dr. Linda Snowden is the doctor recommended by Dr. Kyle Reed. Dr. Reed was one of the doctors who worked on Shepard after she was tortured. Shepard, reluctant as she is, knows she cannot freeze during a combat situation again. She hopes the doctor can help with her flashbacks.

"Are you nervous?"

"A little. I don't know what's worse, telling Hackett about what happened and having to admit I need to get some help or seeing a complete stranger and talking to her."

Shepard is not one to share her feelings. Melding with Liara helps a great deal in this area of her life because if she cannot find the words she can just show Liara. But to have to sit across from a complete stranger and admit she needs help and actually talk about touchy feely stuff leaves the commander feeling very uneasy.

"You will be fine Elly. I think it will do you good."

Moving her head in order to make eye contact with Liara she asks, "Am I that bad?"

"Not at all Elly. I think it will be good for you to learn to open up a bit that's all. I think you will be surprised how helpful it can be."

"Meh," says Shepard as she shrugs her shoulders and moves down to Liara's stomach.

"Well, you wouldn't want to keep an open mind or anything Elly," says Liara sarcastically.

Smiling Shepard rubs Liara's belly. With a feign gasp she says, "Do you hear how your mother is talking to me little one? You will be on my side I just know it," smiling Elly kisses the bump. "You have been feeling good right Liara?"

"Of course Elly. Unlike you my work does not put me in the line of fire. I hardly have anything to worry about regarding my safety here."

Liara is talking about the security measures Shepard insisted on when they bought their home. The secure room alone has a hidden compartment with weapons and armor and allows the room to be locked down from the inside or outside, access available only through a secure code. The lock itself is randomly cycled every thirty seconds to prevent hacking, only the secret code allows entry.

The rest of the house has other hidden compartments with fire arms and armor as well. One can call it paranoia, but Shepard absolutely insisted. She has seen enough chaos in the world; she never believed for a minute that just because the war with the reapers was over that no threat existed to her or Liara. Her recent mission proved that, there are still plenty of Batarians and others that would love to see Shepard dead. Shepard's greatest fear was having Liara taken from her so she did what she could, within reason, to keep her Shadow Broker safe.

"Well, one can never be too careful, right little one. I bet when you come out you will be as beautiful as your mother, probably just as stubborn too," Elly teased.

Liara playing with Elly's hair replies with an eye roll," Please. You want to see stubborn Shepard look in the mirror."

Crawling up to the asari, Elly plants a big wet kiss on her lips. "Well, I gotta get ready to be psycho analyzed. If you don't recognize me when I get home, don't blame me," she jests as she enters their master bathroom.

* * *

Alone in the waiting room Shepard is growing more and more nervous. Based on Dr. Reed's recommendation of Dr. Linda Snowden she assumes she will be in good hands, but has no idea what to expect.

Shepard looks up to see a human woman dressed in a black skirt, blue blouse and decorative scarf. At first glance the woman reminds Elly of Miranda due to her long black hair, but the similarities stop there. Shepard remains seated wondering if the woman is coming for her. Seeing as Shepard is the only person in the small waiting room she doesn't want to stand up to greet the woman if it wasn't her. _Geez Shepard calm down, just relax. Yeah right, tell my heart to stop beating out of my chest then._

The woman approaches, "Elly Shepard?"

Shepard winches slightly as she stands due to her hip, to shake the extended hand, "Yes, hello."  
The woman's eyes are blue, not as penetrating as Liara's but pretty enough, she has a friendly smile. _Okay, she seems nice enough. _

Shepard follows her into her office where there is no couch to lie down on. She has no idea what to expect and really thought there was probably a couch involved. "Please have a seat," says the woman as she suggests a chair. Shepard sits, looks around the room, and notices items such as degrees on the wall, pictures, how clean her desk is. _Breathe Shepard breathe.  
_  
Sensing her nervousness, the woman starts with introducing herself. "I am Dr. Linda Snowden. It is very nice to meet you." Then she pauses.

Shepard just stares at her waiting for her to say more then realizes it is her turn talk. _DUH Shepard talk._

Kicking herself on the inside Shepard speaks, "Hi, I am Comm… uh Elly Shepard, you can call me Shepard."

Dr. Snowden smiles a little. "Why Shepard?"

Brows furrow in confusion, "What?" asks Shepard.

"Why should I call you Shepard and not Elly?"

"I am just used to people calling me Shepard. No one really uses my first name except my bondmate.

"I see, so the use of your first name is used only by people you completely trust, is that correct?"

Surprised a little at her bluntness, "Yes, you could say that. I guess I never thought about it much. I am in the military so last names are often used."

Shepard notices the doctor giving her a knowing smile. _DUH Shepard I think she probably knows you are in the military AND who you are._

"So what brings you here Shepard?"

"Uh, how does this work," Shepard asks.

"Oh of course, I apologize. Well, you tell me why you are here and what you hope to accomplish from our sessions together. Anything you say is strictly confidential. You may see me taking some notes while you talk, but that is to help me remember items I think may need further discussion, that type of thing. Also, I should mention that I am the only doctor in this office. The small waiting room you came in will always be a room where you should not see anyone else. See that second door, that is where I have people exit. I set up my office this way because I do see a lot of people that need to keep their sessions with me private. This office building has its own walking paths outside, if you prefer to walk and talk we can certainly do that as well, some people like it. It is really what makes you the most comfortable. Does that help?"

Shepard feels a little more at ease. She does notice in one of the pictures on the doctor's desk that she appears to be involved with an asari, which in Shepard's book is already common ground to work from. She decides to ask her about it. "Are you bonded, I noticed that picture?" Shepard points behind the doctor.

Smiling, Dr. Snowden says "Yes, that is Clarissa. She and I have been together almost 4 years now."

Shepard notices how the doctor beams when she talks about her bondmate. She wonders to herself if she looks the same when she speaks of Liara.

"What about you?"

"Yes, I am bonded, almost five months now." Shepard stops, she is not divulging more just yet.

Not pushing for more information the doctor asks her the original question, "So what brings you here Shepard?"

"Do you mind if I stand? I may need to walk around the room a bit, I have a sore hip."

"Of course, whatever makes you comfortable." Shepard stands and looks out the window. They are on the third floor and the building overlooks a lake. Shepard can see some patches of areas that are still recovering from the reaper war. "Do you prefer to walk outside?"

"How long are these sessions?" asks Shepard ignoring the doctor's question.

"They run 60 minutes unless you need them to be longer." Sensing her resistance and nervousness, the doctor changes the subject. "Why don't you tell me a little about yourself."

"Like what?"

"Where were you born?"

Crossing her arms and turning back to look out the window Shepard replies, "Mindoir."

The doctor knows a little history about Commander Shepard; she does know what happened on Mindoir, but wants to establish trust with the commander. She needs to get the woman to open up to her if only slightly today.

"What did you like about it?"

Turning toward her while rubbing at her right hip and leg Shepard replies, "It was really beautiful. We lived on the outskirts of town. We were farmers, lots of labor, but it was good." Shepard turns again to look out the window.

"Why was it beautiful?"

"It had the greenest grass I have ever seen. Thessia's grass reminds me a little of it. It had streams where I fished, it was just really…peaceful."

"Did you fish with anyone?"

Turning to face the doctor from the window, "What?"

"You said you fished, did you fish with anyone in particular?"

Shepard did all of her fishing with T.J. She doesn't like this, doesn't like thinking of Mindoir. Shepard sits back down in the chair across from the doctor. "I have had flashbacks."

The doctor realizes that Shepard just changed the subject and makes a note in her notebook. "Flashbacks, during a mission?"

"Yes. The first one happened during training and it happened again early this week."

Making another note in her notebook Dr. Snowden asks, "Can you tell me what the flashbacks were?"

Sighing, Shepard says, "I was training with the asari commandoes before returning to active duty. We were throwing biotic abilities back and forth. When we increased the force, I flashed back to seeing a reaper firing its red laser and I just stood there until it hit me. The nearby instructor was able to shield me somewhat before I took the brunt of the shockwave the asari threw at me. Then it happened earlier this week."

"Was it the same flashback, the reaper?"

"No."

"What did you see in this one?"

Standing again to look out the window, Shepard takes in and lets out a deep breath. "My family was murdered on Mindoir. I saw it happen. I flashed back to seeing my mother get stabbed. I froze."

Making another note in her notebook Snowden understands why Shepard changed the direction of the conversation away from Mindoir earlier.

Snowden as carefully as possible asks, "Where were you when the attack on Mindoir occurred?" She can tell by Shepard not being able to stand still that she did not like talking about this subject, doesn't seem to like talking about herself at all. She was surprised Shepard started to answer after a few minutes.

"I was sixteen, walking home from school. I heard screaming. I didn't know what was going on. There was this crawl space under the house that I played in growing up, I hid there when I wanted to be by myself and.." "Anyway, I ran to the crawl space. There was an opening that looked out to the main street that led to town. I saw and heard a lot of the people screaming. I remember the boots."

"Boots?"

Shepard still facing away from Snowden and looking out the window, "Yeah the boots worn by the Batarians. They all wore the same kind of boots."

The doctor waited for Shepard to continue.

"That's when I saw him." Shepard glanced back to the doctor, "T.J." She turned back to the window, crossed her arms as if hugging herself. "He was my best friend. We did everything together, including fishing. I wanted to yell out to him, but I didn't. In all the confusion of people running everywhere he didn't see where he was going and he ran right into one of them. The Batarian just smiled at him. I had never seen a Batarian up close before, but I will never forget that damn smile. He slit his throat; he just laughed as T.J. fell over and bled to death."

Shepard could feel the heat behind her eyes, but she willed herself not to cry. She just met this woman, the last thing she wanted to do was show that kind of weakness. Shepard always admired how people could share their emotions, their feelings. When they cried, Shepard thought it took great strength to be that vulnerable. But when applying the same situation to herself she only looked at it as weakness not strength. She looked at it as something to deny, to push down, and to not worry about. She wanted to cry, but she didn't give herself that luxury.

Snowden wanted Shepard to talk about her mother, but she waited. She has already figured out that Shepard is a person who will talk when she is good and ready to talk.

"My parents were next." Shepard continued. "My mom came running in the house looking for me, my dad right behind her. They didn't know I was right underneath them in the crawl space. My dad was the first to die, stabbed from behind. My mom was held by two of them while the third one stabbed her."

Shepard turns from the window and sits back down in the chair across Snowden. "So I flashed back to my mother's stabbing earlier this week and that can't happen again."

"What did you do after the stabbing?"

Shepard looked at Snowden briefly then looked away, "What do you mean?"

"After your parents were killed what happened?" Snowden noticed that Shepard was rubbing at her right hip and leg. It seemed to be bothering her when she walked in, now the doctor was wondering if it was a nervous habit, something she did when she didn't like the conversation.

_Am I supposed to tell her I watched my mother slowly die, that I could feel her blood dripping on my legs as I cowered and didn't move?_ "I don't really know how much time passed, I eventually crawled out. No more Batarians, they made their way to the main part of town." _Am I supposed to tell her about the smell, the smell of burning flesh as there were bonfires of human bodies? "_I eventually went inside the house and just sat against the wall by my mom."

"Can you tell me how you felt?"

Shepard's eyes snapped up to Snowden's and snarled, "How I felt?"

Pausing on purpose to help Shepard calm down, the doctor presses, "Yes."

"How they hell do you think I felt!" yells Shepard as she stands again, this time pacing.

"You tell me."

Shrugging her shoulders as she paces, "I don't know, pissed off!"

"What else?"

Slowing her pacing, Shepard thinks. "I felt like a coward."

"Why?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Why did you feel like a coward?"

"I stayed hidden. I didn't do anything. I didn't help, I just….I just watched her die." Shepard turns back to the window hugging herself again.

"What if you didn't stay hidden?"

"What?" Shepard turns to her.

"What if you did something, you were sixteen right? What could you have done?"

"Taken one of them with me maybe."

"You said there were three of them right?"

"Yeah."

"So, if you were caught in the crawl space or you screamed or you ran in to try to stop them, what do you think would have happened?"

"I would have died," says Shepard. _Talk about obvious_

"Are you sorry that you are alive today?"

The question threw Shepard. "No."

"But you feel like a coward for surviving, for living, for having a life?"

Shepard started to disagree with the woman, but then stopped herself.

The doctor continues, "You would not be bonded today if you had not survived."

Sitting back down Shepard says, "I just wish I could have done something. No one should have to see their own parents die like that."

"It's okay that you lived Shepard."

Elly has never heard anyone say that to her before. It felt odd.

"You did what you had to do to survive, there is no shame in that. I am sure your parents would have wanted you safe."

"I guess."

"You don't believe they would have wanted you safe?"

Shepard looks up at the doctor. "No, you're right. My dad was convinced I was safe somewhere when he tried to get my mom to leave the house."

"Probably because he knew you so well, right?"

"Right." Shepard knows the doctor has a point but it seems almost like a betrayal to not feel guilty that she lived and they didn't.

"Can you tell me any other feelings you were having at the time?"

"I was scared."

"What do you normally do when you are scared?"

"Do you mean physically or emotionally." Shepard laughs at the end trying to lighten the mood a little. This is only answered by the doctor making a note in her notebook.

"You tell me."

"Well, if I am physically scared I tend to fight like hell until I am not scared anymore."

"And emotionally?" asks the doctor.

Shepard falls silent. The doctor wants to probe more but from the look on Shepard's face and the way she averts her eyes, the doctor decides not to push, not today.

"Well Shepard. I think we should discuss what you want out of our sessions. You said you wanted to make sure you stop the flashbacks right? Are you still on active duty?"

"No. I told my commanding officer what happened and I won't lead a team again until I can put at stop to this. I may still work from The Normandy, that is the ship I am in charge of, but I wouldn't go on the vessels we need to search. I don't plan on working at all next week. How long will this take exactly?"

"Well it depends really. We can meet as often as you like. I want you to get comfortable with talking to me which can take as long as you want it to take. This isn't something you can quickly fix."

Shepard meets her eyes; she gives a half smile, "So if I want to return to work as soon as possible, I am guessing I should come here pretty often then?"

"We can meet daily if you want to. It is entirely up to you. After a few more sessions, we can touch base on your progress and better discuss maybe how long it may take."

"Okay."

"Okay, that you want to come every day next week?"

"Sure."

"9:00 AM work for you?"

"Yes," Shepard stood to leave, the doctor rose as well extending a hand.

"I look forward to seeing you next week then Shepard."

"Thanks Doc, guess I'll see you Monday."

"See you Monday."

* * *

Returning home Elly immediately goes to the lower level of the house and starts punching the hell out of the punching bag in her work out room.

She didn't like thinking about her past, she didn't like talking about feelings. _What the hell am I supposed to feel?_ Maybe it would have been better to die that day. Then she would not have had the pain and sorrow of losing so many friends, her parents, T.J., Kaidan, Thane, Mordin, the list just went on and on. Fucking reapers. Shepard ignored the throbbing in her hip and shoulder and just punched and punched working out her frustration.

* * *

"Dr. T'Soni, it is time for you to eat," says Glyph. Liara has programmed her VI to alert her when to eat and when to shut down for the night. Liara often gets lost in her work where time just flies by. Liara looks at the time; she is surprised to see how late it is, "Glyph, is Shepard home?"

"Yes Dr. T'Soni, she is on the lower level."

Liara wonders how long she has been home and why she did not pop in to let her know she was back. "Thank you Glyph, continue scans, I will see you in the morning."

"Good night Dr. T'Soni."

As Liara makes her way down one level, she says, "Elly? You better not be working out, you are supposed to be resting." Liara hears a soft moan coming from the corner. "Elly?" She moves quickly to the sound. She finds Elly lying on her back, arm over her face. "Elly!"

"I'm okay, I'm okay."

Liara stops and looks down on the human with her hands on her hips. "Oh yeah, if you are okay, then get up."

Elly just looks at her while not moving, lifting her eyebrows as if asking are you serious.

"You heard me. Stand up."

Letting out a heavy sigh, Shepard replies, "I can't."

"And why is that?"

"I...I overdid it. Okay, ya happy now? I was pissed when I got home, I needed to hit something and I overdid it."

"Of course I am not happy." Before saying another word, Liara gently lifts Elly using her biotics. "Elly, you need to take care of yourself, you cannot continue to push your body like this, you need to heal."

The throbbing in her hip and shoulder is unbearable. She knows Liara is right, but she doesn't really want to hear it right now. She wants relief, but knows her pills will not touch this pain. _You fucking idiot Shepard._ Shepard replies in a grunt, ""You're right Liara."

Since Shepard is not arguing, Liara knows she is in a lot of pain. "I am going to draw you a bath Elly and call Dr. Chakwas, okay?"

"Thanks," is all she can muster.

Liara gently sets Elly down on the bed and quickly draws the bath. "I'll be right back," she says as she kisses Elly on the cheek.

"Hello?"

"Karin, thank the Goddess."

"What's the matter Liara?"

"Elly overdid it and is in a lot of pain. Can I give her multiple doses of her pills?"

"How bad is she?"

"It hurts her to move, I am drawing a bath for her now."

"That's good; the heat should help loosen her muscles. I can come over to give her something; I don't think the pills will help her. I just need your address."

"Of course Karin, thank you so much."

Returning to the bathroom, Liara checks the water than moves to Elly. "Elly?"

Shepard was half asleep on the bed. "Hmm?"

"I am going to take your clothes off now."

Very groggy, Shepard thought Liara was coming on to her, her pain was forgotten for a few seconds, "Oh really?" she purred, then "Aaaghhh!"

"Sorry Elly, I'm sorry."

All grogginess left her as the pain shot through her entire body. "Oh God, what are you doing? Stop please stop!"

Liara bent over the human, "Elly, I need to undress you to get you in the bath, Dr. Chakwas is coming over to give you something for the pain."

"Shit Liara, I'm sorry. I must have forgotten." _Oh God Shepard, you are losing it._

"It's okay, you ready? I have to move your hip to take your pants down."

Gritting her teeth she replies, "Ready as I will ever be. Agghh, oh God, oh hurry up please, aaghh."

Wincing in sympathy Liara pulls the pants and underwear off as fast as possible. "I'm sorry Elly." Liara reaches out to Elly's mind. She throws comfort and calm to her bondmate. Elly's breathing slows; she is no longer gritting her teeth. Liara continues the soothing meld as she takes off Elly's shirt and bra. Pushing love and comfort to her, Liara leans over and kisses Elly on her lips. Elly responds by lifting her arms to reach out to Liara which makes her scream in pain. She once again forgot her pain to have it slap her silly all at once. Liara continues the meld, lifts Shepard and gently places her into the hot bathtub. _I love you Elly, hang in there._

_I love you Liara, thank you so much, I'm an idiot._

Ending the meld, Liara turns off the water, checks to make sure Elly is able to sit up on her own. "Elly I will be right back."

"Thanks Liara," whispers Shepard.

Liara looks out the front door of the house hoping Dr. Chakwas is there. Relief floods her body as she sees her sky car land. Walking outside to greet her, "Karin," Liara hugs the human doctor as she starts to cry.

"Liara, hey you okay?"

"I…I am sorry Karin," Liara hurries inside the doctor following. "She is just in so much pain." Liara wipes away her tears, "She is in the bathroom."

Placing a reassuring hand on the asari's shoulder, Chakwas enters the bathroom, Liara not far behind.

"Hello Elly,"

Opening her eyes slightly, "Hey Doc, glad you could come."

"So I hear you overdid it commander, doesn't sound like you at all," Chakwas says with sarcasm.

"Go ahead and hit me while I'm down Doc, I can take it," replies Elly.

Chakwas sticks her with a needle. "You should feel relief soon."

It was like a rush of water that washed the pain away, not all of the pain of course, but the stabbing, excruciating pain that only got worse with each breath was finally subsiding. Sighing loudly in relief, "Thank God, thank you Doc, thank you." Elly set her head back against the tub. She didn't care that she was naked and that Chakwas was there in her very private space, the doctor has seen her naked, beaten up body on nurmeous occassions. Elly was just happy that she could actually feel relief.

"You need to get her out of the tub Liara, she should sleep soon."

"Yes Karin."

"I am going to leave another syringe on the kitchen table in case she needs another dose when she wakes up. Have her take her pain pills before she falls asleep okay?"

Hugging the doctor tightly Liara says, "Thank you Karin. I just hate seeing her like that."

"I know. I am glad I could help. I will see myself out."

"Thank you Karin. We will have you for dinner soon; I will give you a tour."

"Sounds nice Liara, the place is beautiful." With a nod, Chakwas leaves Liara to care for her bondmate.

Her world was slowly fading. She could feel herself float up out of the water, she could feel Liara's soft hands move a towel over her, feel the softness of the bed envelope her. She wanted to feel Liara next to her. She wanted to apologize to Liara for being so incredibly stupid. She wasn't thinking. She was once again selfish in her misery that she hurt herself even more because she didn't want to deal with her emotional shit. As she slowly slipped to unconsciousness she hoped she told Liara that she loved her, she hoped she spoke, but she couldn't remember. She just prayed everything would be alright when she woke.


	9. Chapter 9

_I can't move, why can't I move._

_The pain_

_You will die Shepard we will destroy you_

_I can't feel my leg_

_Why are you hurting me?_

_Where…._

_I am gonna do things to you that will leave you begging for more_

_You killed my whole family you BITCH!_

_Who's screaming? Why?_

_That smell, no… T.J. RUN!_

_Can't move _

_Can't scream_

_Dad, _

_MOM!_

"Noooo!" Shepard wakes snapping up to a sit position then quickly lies down again as the pain in her hip screams at her.

Liara enters the room, "Elly?"

Elly curls up on her left side gritting her teeth; she lets outs a groan into her pillow, her shoulder hurting less than her hip.

Softly touching her shoulder Liara asks, "What do you need Elly?" Liara hears her crying, her body slowly shaking. Leaning next to her, Liara brushes her hair out of her face. Liara's eyes go black reaching out with her mind. She wants to soothe her, to calm her, but Elly isn't allowing it, she is resisting. Liara pushes a little more, but Elly is not letting her in.

Liara gently pleads_, "Elly, please let me in." _

"_I can't…."_

"_You can," insists Liara._

Less resistance now, Elly shows Liara her nightmare. Liara sees flashes of Mindoir, her best friend, father and mother being murdered. Liara feels Elly's guilt for not doing anything, her incredible fear as she held both hands over her mouth to not scream out. Liara next hears the voice of Harbinger telling Shepard that she would die. Elly is so raw with her feelings her resistance is completely gone, exhausted to care anymore, too tired to try to hide anything, Elly actually feels relief that she is opening all of her to Liara. Next she shares the torture she endured, this is something she has not once shared, but now Elly is an open book. She even shares with Liara that she was aroused when she felt weight on top of her because she thought it was Liara before she realized it was not, this was followed by intense shame and guilt. Each new memory Elly shared Liara stayed steady by returning love to Elly. Liara concentrated on only sending good memories for every bad memory Elly shared, a good feeling for every shit feeling Elly had.

Liara lies down next to Elly and takes her into her arms as the meld continues.

Elly shares with Liara how she was able to get the Citadel arms open, how her last thoughts in this life were of Liara and their future blue beauties. But then Liara feels Elly retreat from her. Liara follows,_ "No Elly, I want you, I need you. Remember our little ones." _

Elly feels nothing but love from her asari, but she doesn't feel she deserves it.

"_Don't Liara, I …don't…. I can't..."_

"_You can Elly, you deserve this."_

"_I don't."_

"_You do." _Liara continues to flood Elly with loving memories, their first night together before they went to Ilos. How Liara had to be the one to come to Shepard. Liara for a time was always the one who initiated their melds; it was only in the past few months Elly grew more confident with initiating something she felt was so intimate.

"_You are beautiful Liara."_

"_You are too Elly."_

"_You deserve better Liara…"_

"_We deserve to have our life together, remember our happy ending?"_

"_Little blue babies…?"_

"_That's right Elly, we need you." _

Liara has seen and felt Elly down before but this was different, this was worse. This felt like Elly wanted to disappear because she somehow thought her being gone would be easier on Liara. Elly felt like a coward, like she let Liara down and instead of continuing to do that, Liara felt from Elly that it was better that she just leave so she would stop hurting the asari.

"_I don't want to hurt you Liara. I feel like all I do is hurt you."_

"_You only hurt me when you give up Elly, you mustn't give up, we need you our children need you."_

Liara feels a slight shift within Elly. _"Children?"_

"_Don't you remember what you told me Elly how many you want?"_

Liara could feel Elly's essence grow stronger_. _

"_Our little blue babies?"_

Liara shares that specific memory with Elly; it was in her quarters on the Normandy after they defeated the Shadow Broker together. Liara asked what Shepard wanted, marriage, old age and a lot of little blue children.

"_Yes Elly, do not leave us, do not leave me. I need you."_

Liara feels Elly's essence grow stronger. Feels her confidence and strength returning. Though she also feels guilt from Elly that she even thought about giving up. Liara just holds her closer.

Elly now floods Liara with her own memories, her good memories, the memories she held onto when she felt she was going to die oh so many times. How they made love for the first time, for the second time, the third._ "I'm sorry Liara; I won't give up on us."_

"_You cannot give up on yourself Elly, you just can't."_

"_I know, I…I know. I love you so much Liara"_

_Slowly, slowly Liara ends their meld_. Limbs intertwined, Elly holds Liara close as she whispers, "Thank you Liara. I love you. Please forgive me. I'm sorry I was so stupid."

Liara looks at Elly with tears, "I forgive you, of course, I love you Elly, don't you dare leave me, don't you dare leave us."

"Never, I promise." Forgetting the pain in her hip, Elly moves closer to Liara, though it can never be close enough. "Never Liara, I'm sorry."

Both exhausted, they fall asleep still in each other's arms.

* * *

Two weeks have passed Elly feeling more herself every day. Shepard's sessions with Dr. Snowden though painful have helped her a great deal. But Elly attributes her turn around to Liara. The meld they shared two weeks ago when Elly wanted to give up, saved her. Being completely open to Liara and having Liara just hold her and comfort her was more than the human could ever hope for. Often Shepard wonders what the asari sees in her because she feels so broken, but lately she feels stronger. Her mind and her body healing day by day.

Elly is the first to wake feeling refreshed this morning. She has had no nightmares for the last two nights. Leaning over to Liara, she lightly brushes her cheek with her fingers and kisses the asari.

A smile appears on Liara's face, "Morning Elly."

"Morning Liara," she moves her hand to Liara's growing tummy. Kissing her bump "How are you feeling?"

"I'm a little tired."

"Did I keep you up?"

"No, it is just harder to stay asleep; I need to shift around so much to get comfortable."

"I wish I could make it better for you," says Shepard as she continues to rub Liara's belly.

Liara playing with the human's hair, "I know. You look refreshed Elly, how are you feeling?"

"I almost feel bad saying I feel great," she kisses Liara's belly.

"Don't feel bad Elly, it is nice to see."

"What do you want for breakfast Liara?"

"I am going to try to sleep more if you don't mind."

"Of course not," Shepard crawls up and kisses Liara lightly on the lips. "Sleep well; I'll make you something when I return from my session if you want."

Liara turns over on her side, "Sounds good, love you Elly."

"Love you Liara."

* * *

"Good morning Shepard," says Dr. Linda Snowden.

"Morning Doc."

"How are you feeling today?"

"Pretty damn good actually, though I am a little worried about Liara."

"What's going on?"

"Well, she just says she is tired, but I hope it is not more. We see her obstetrician this afternoon; it is the first appointment I get to actually attend."

"You were not able to make the other appointments?"

"No, I was working, speaking of which, how soon can I return?"

Smiling because she knows Shepard wants to return to work, Snowden replies, "We have made a lot of progress Shepard,"

"Why do I think I hear a butt coming?" Shepard says with her sly grin.

"Well we have to talk about how best to deal with your freezing. We know it is has to do with your feeling of helplessness."

Helplessness is the main theme of Shepard's flashbacks. When the red beam from the reaper hit her she was helpless to do anything, when she flashed back to seeing her mother die, she was helpless, getting over this feeling and retraining her brain to react instead of freeze is the next hurdle Shepard must overcome.

"So what happens next?"

"Well there is something I would like to try with you."

"What?"

The doctor is a little uneasy. She is pleased to see the shift in mood from Shepard, but what she is going to suggest may make the human slip back a little. "It can be uncomfortable to say the least."

Furrowing her brows Shepard asks, "Oh boy, this doesn't sound good."

"I was thinking we could reenact certain scenarios to try to evoke a flashback."

"I was right," laughs Shepard, "Does not sound good at all. How exactly would we reenact?"

"Remember how you told me about working with the asari commandos, with Valya I believe her name was?"

"Yeah."

"We could maybe request her assistance."

Scratching at the back of her neck, Shepard asks "What exactly would we do?"

"I normally would not suggest this type of exercise so early, but with the progress you have been making and the fact that you are eager to return to work, this can be faster. We would put you in situations where you felt helpless then.."

"Then you would attack me?" Shepard is a bit unsettled.

"In a way yes."

"Umm, what is the other option?"

"The other option is more mental imaging. Both situations have the same end result, retraining your brain to act and not freeze during feelings of helplessness."

Sighing Shepard stands and looks out the window.

The doctor senses her tension. "What is it?"

"I don't know. I don't.."

The doctor waits for Shepard to speak.

"I don't want to back pedal," says Shepard as she crosses her arms and looks out the window.

"What do you mean?" The doctor knows what Shepard is saying but she wants her to talk about it.

"I can't get …I don't want to feel like I did two weeks ago. I need to be strong for Liara…for myself. I can't get down ya know?"

"We have talked about how to deal with your mental imaging to purposely think on positive images."

"No I know, I just…I sometimes get overwhelmed and I feel like I get…..sucked down."

"I understand. You will have to be vigilant in what you allow yourself to think."

Shepard turns to the doctor, "Its exhausting Doc, I don't know if I can do it." Shepard hates admitting weakness, but she does not want to feel like giving up ever again. She has a life to live with Liara and their future children, she needs to remain strong.

"We don't have to decide anything today, you think about it."

"Yeah, I will run this by Liara. I need to be there for her and if that means I don't return to work for awhile than that's okay."

"Sounds good. In the meantime, let's talk more about mental imaging."

Shepard sits ready to begin.

* * *

Getting home Shepard's first stop is to check the bedroom to see if Liara is still sleeping. She peeks her head in and sees her blue beauty curled up on her right side by the side of the bed. Elly starts to turn away when she hears a soft cry coming from the asari. Elly approaches quietly, she sees Liara's body jerk slightly as she gasps. Crouching next to the bed Elly can tell she is dreaming and by the look on Liara's face it is not a pleasant one. Elly leans over to stroke her crest while whispering "Shhh, you're okay Liara. You are home, you are safe. I'm with you."

Liara seems to hear the human and quiets, her face relaxes, her body no longer jerking. Elly remains with her for a little while stroking her crest making sure the bad dream does not return.

After a while, Elly makes her way to the kitchen to start making breakfast. Making her signature omelets she decides to treat Liara to breakfast in bed. She finds the tray and sets everything up while the eggs cook. Setting the plates, she places some fruit on each plate along with the omelets; she carries the tray into the bedroom. Liara stirs a little as Elly enters the bedroom. Setting the tray on the floor, Elly moves over to Liara stroking her cheek. She can't help but lean in and kiss her beautiful lips. "Liara time to wake up honey." As Elly nuzzles into her neck she feels Liara smiling into her neck.

"Hmmm."

"Come on honey you need to wake up, I made you some breakfast, can you sit up?"

Rubbing her eyes, she asks "What time is it?"

"We have a couple of hours yet before your appointment."

Sitting up, Elly is nearby to help if necessary. "You are back from your appointment already?"

"Yeah," says Elly as she sets the tray across Liara's lap, the legs of the tray sturdy on the bed.

Yawning Liara says. "This smells wonderful; I can't believe how long I slept."

Elly joins her on the bed grabbing a piece of bacon, "You obviously needed it."

"I guess," says Liara as she cuts into her omelet. "How was your session?"

"It was good," Elly says as she too cuts into her omelet. "There is something I want to ask you about."

"What, hmm this is very good." Liara leans over and kisses Elly on the cheek.

"Good, you need to keep your strength up.

"What do you need to ask me?"

"Well, Dr. Snowden suggested putting me in situations where I feel helpless then … well then attacking me."

Almost choking on her food, "What? That does not sound safe Elly."

"Well…she suggested I ask Valya to help me. She can be my attacker."

"What did you tell her?"

"I said I needed to run it by you first, that I needed to think about it."

"I think using Valya is a good idea, you are already familiar with her. I am sure she would be willing to do it."

Scratching the back of her neck Elly says, "I am sure she will. That is not really my biggest concern."

Liara knows where Elly is going, that she is nervous she will get depressed. "Elly, you have been doing well. If you continue to work on what the doctor recommends I don't think you will get down. Plus I am here for you."

Reaching for her hand and kissing the back of it, Shepard says, "I know, but I want to be there for you. So much of our relationship I feel has been about me and my crap. It's not fair to you."

"Elly, we are in this together. You have been here for me. Our relationship is not about keeping score."

Elly looks at Liara, "I don't know what I did to deserve you Liara, you are the best thing that ever happened to me."

Liara squeezes her hand, "I love you Elly, and I would do anything for you."

"And I you Liara. Hey, so after our appointment with the obstetrician, can we tell our friends we are expecting a child? "

"I think that sounds wonderful."

"Maybe we could have a party. There is a human custom where the expectant mother has guests over and they give her gifts, they call it a baby shower. I don't know a lot about them, but I could do some research."

"What kind of gifts?

"Stuff for the baby. Like diapers, clothes, bottles, that type of thing. You know, we need to start shopping for cribs and baby furniture."

"We have been distracted lately haven't we," says Liara.

"If you are up for it, maybe after our appointment we can check out some baby stores, what do you think, then maybe we can eat out tonight."

"That sounds good." Liara looks at the clock, "Goddess, I better get ready." Liara leans over cupping Elly's cheek with her hand. "I love you Elly," she kisses her on the lips. Elly responds by stroking Liara's crest, deepening the kiss.

"I love you Liara."

* * *

"Good afternoon Liara,"

"Hello Dr. T'Pol, this is my bondmate Elly Shepard."

Shepard extends her hand, "Yes, Commander Shepard it is an honor to meet you," says the obstetrician.

"The pleasure is mine, please call me Shepard," says Shepard.

Nodding then turning her attention to Liara, "Liara, how have you been feeling?"

"I have been a little tired lately."

The doctor moves toward Liara to run a few scans. "Are you not sleeping through the night?"

Liara glances at Elly then back at the doctor, "Sometimes, but not lately."

Elly squeezes her hand, which the doctor notices.

"Why are you waking up, are you in pain, do you have to go to the bathroom?"

"I sometimes am uncomfortable yes, so I need to change positions. But sometimes I have a hard time falling back asleep."

"Unfortunately that is to be expected," says the doctor. "As you progress in your pregnancy it may get worse. Often times the baby likes to poke at the most uncomfortable spots. I swear they know exactly what they are doing just to make their presence known," smiles the doctor. "Is there anything else keeping you awake?"

Again Liara and Elly exchange a glance. Shepard speaks, "I am afraid I am to blame."

The doctor is not sure what the human woman means. "Can you elaborate?"

Shepard says, "I have been having issues with nightmares and Liara has been helping me through it. I am afraid that there has been lingering effects."

"Such as?" as Dr. T'Pol.

"She is having some nightmares of her own now, she had one this morning."

Liara looks at Elly with a surprised look. "Elly, I don't.."

"You were Liara, I saw it, before I brought you breakfast."

"I..I do not remember."

"Are you able to sleep during the day Liara? I remember from our last appointment you said your work can be flexible."

"Yes, that's true. I am able to sleep during the day if needed."

Shepard bit her lip. She wanted to mention that sometimes Liara does not nap, forgets to eat even though Glyph reminds her because she is wrapped up in her work, but she doesn't.

"The waking during the night will probably increase unfortunately. Your needing to adjust your position may get worse as the baby grows. It is your body's way of getting you ready for the sleepless nights you will have once the baby is born."

Liara replies, "I suspected as much."

"I have a question," says Shepard.

Both asari look at the human commander.

"The experiences I have had, the nightmares, memories, during a meld can they hurt Liara?"

Liara blushes a little. She did not suspect Elly would ask another asari about melding especially in front of her. The blush was picked up by Elly, "Sorry, did I say something I shouldn't?"

Liara looked at the doctor; they seem to exchange a knowing glance, though Shepard doesn't know what it is. "We can talk about it Elly," says Liara.

Feeling like she just made a huge blunder, Elly says to Liara, "I apologize. I did not mean to make you uncomfortable, either of you."

Liara squeezes Elly's hand with a smile.

The doctor replies, "Your scans look good Liara. It will be just a minute to process your blood work."

Elly leans in and whispers in Liara's ear, "I'm sorry Liara."

Liara just smiles back and whispers, "It's quite alright Elly."

Elly feels a little better but still thinks she has made a huge faux pas.

A beep sounds and the doctor checks the blood work. "Everything looks good. Any other questions?"

Both asari look at Elly with expectation.

The human blushes and says, "Nope not from me, I think I have said enough."

The doctor and Liara again exchange a glance and smile. Shepard picks up on it and hopes all is okay; she will have to find out from Liara when the doctor leaves.

"Okay, I will see you in one month then Liara, Shepard; it was nice to meet you."

"You too doctor, thank you." The doctor steps out of the room, not one second later Shepard feels a playful punch from Liara.

"I can't believe you asked that."

Moving as to block another blow, Shepard steps back, "What, I'm sorry, what did I do?"

"You asked her a very personal question Elly."

"I did?" Elly completely clueless.

"You asked about our melding Elly, which is personal."

"I'm sorry Liara, but I wasn't actually asking about melding I was asking if a meld could.. ..I mean if seeing my…..sharing our…okay I get it." Shepard realizes that she did indeed ask about melding with Liara with a complete stranger. It's not like Elly thought Liara lies to her about how her dreams or memories may affect or impact the asari, she just wanted a doctor's opinion. She had no idea what she was actually saying when she said it.

"Elly, I have told you countless times that it does not impact me as it does you."

"I know, I just thought…-"

"Actually I don't think you did," smiled Liara.

Shepard narrows her eyes at her. "You two were laughing at me weren't you?" Shepard feels she has caught Liara.

Liara does not look at her just says, "I don't know what you are talking about."

Elly moves closer to Liara, "Oh I think you do," she starts to tickle the asari.

"Elly, stop," she says giggling.

"Not until you tell me what those looks were between the two of you."

Liara steps back from Elly to catch her breath. "I don't know what you are talking about," she gives Elly a sly grin.

Pointing at Liara, "See! You do too, I didn't screw up did I, you are just playing with me?"

Liara cannot stop her smiling. "Only a little. It is a very personal question Elly, one you should not have asked."

"So what was with the glances?"

"She and I were just trying not to laugh at you that's all."

Shepard stalks Liara with her hands out to tickle again, "Oh really?" Attacking her so lightly Elly resumes her tickling.

Laughing Liara pleads with Elly to stop.

As they walk out of the office Elly says to the asari, "Next time I am so asking what gender our baby is."

Liara playfully slaps Elly on her shoulder, "Don't you dare!"


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter out. I plan on continuing with this story, I just cannot update as often as I used to. I hope to do about 2-4 chapters a week. Thanks, and thanks for all that review, PM me or favorite me, it makes my day when I get to read your reviews!_

* * *

"The table is set," says Liara as she enters their huge kitchen.

"Liara, you are supposed to be resting, I could have done that," says Shepard.

"I am fully capable of helping Shepard."

It has been three weeks. They made their announcement to their friends about their baby and are having a dinner party to celebrate. Liara didn't want to totally follow the human custom of a baby shower. The idea of silly games like sticking pins on oneself seemed silly. She did like the idea of receiving gifts however. The guest list was a nice size, Spectre Ashley Williams, Garrus Vakarian; even Tali were able to come. The three bedrooms on the top floor of their home were for them. Others on the guest list, Admiral Hackett, James Vega, Valya and her bondmate Dara along with Shepard's Normandy crew and squad mates were invited.

Liara was quite fond of her new found friends, and of course her old ones. Shepard was preparing a specialty that she learned while in the new house, Beef Tenderloin with gorgonzola sauce served with vegetables and creamy garlic potatoes. They of course had dextro meals for Garrus and Tali as well.

"I know you are capable Liara, I just don't want you to overdo it is all." Shepard leaned over the pot to taste the creamy potatoes, "Here taste this," she held the spoon out to Liara.

"Hmmm, good."

Shepard couldn't help herself, she caught the asari in an embrace, "You know how much I love you Dr. T'Soni?"

Liara smiled back, "I bet it is not as much as I love you."

They kissed, only to be interrupted by the door bell. Shepard pulls away muttering, "So help me if that is Joker…"

Liara smiles and pecks the human on the cheek, "I bet it is Ashley, she wanted to come early to help, I'll get it."

"Hello Ashley," says Liara as she hugs the human Spectre.

"Hi Liara, you look gorgeous! Being pregnant suits you."

Blushing Liara thanks her. "I can show you where you will be staying if you want to store your bags first?"

"Sounds good," says Ashley as she walks in. She sees the commander in the kitchen, "Hey Skipper!"

"Hey Ash!"

"Wow, Liara, your home is beautiful."

"Thank you Ashley, this way."

"You can stay here," Liara gestures to a nice sized bedroom with queen size bed, dresser and attached bathroom.

"Holy cow Liara your kids are going to be so spoiled."

Though not sure what Ashley meant by _cow_ she smiles nonetheless. "Do you have any updates Ashley?" Liara was asking about Kane, a topic of conversation they both know not to discuss in front of Shepard.

Sighing heavily she replies, "He is like a ghost Liara. I don't know how he does it. It's like whenever we find a lead it leads nowhere. The only information we have gotten to date is that he was last seen on Earth near where Shepard did her combat training."

"Goddess, you don't think he is tracking her do you?"

"I don't think so, but honestly at this point he could be and I wouldn't know for sure. Have you been able to find anything?"

"Sadly, no. Though I have made some progress on Brad Whitmore."

"That's the guy who tortured her right?"

"Correct. He had three different cellmates during his incarceration before he escaped; I am running down information on the three men."

"Find anything?"

"I am still formulating information on two of the three men, the first man can already be ruled out. He had no visitors or phone calls during his time in prison before he died."

Ashley puts her hand on Liara's shoulder, "We will find him Liara, he will screw up, I just know it. They always do."

"I hope you are right Ashley."

"So the Skipper, how is she doing really?"

"She is doing well Ashley. She was just cleared to return to duty, though I can't say as I am happy about it."

"What do you mean?"

"I want her with me. It is selfish of me I know, but these past few weeks have been wonderful having her around."

"I bet," says Ashley, she is not sure what else to say so she changes the subject back to Kane. "Does she still not want to know about Kane?"

"She knows I want to find him…need to find him. If she has questions she asks me, but otherwise we do not discuss it."

"I'm sorry Liara that must be hard. You can always talk to me if you want, I know I have been busy lately, but I am available."

"Thank you Ashley."

They return to the main level of the house to help Shepard with last minute preparations before the rest of the guests arrive.

* * *

"Whoa Lola this is quite the spread you got here!" says James.

"Thanks Vega," says Shepard as she hands him another beer.

"That dinner was excellent, you make that yourself?"

"Why so surprised?" asks Shepard.

Shrugging his large shoulders, "Just never knew you could cook."

"Well who knew I could get beef out here, I was lucky. How is your N7 training going?"

"It's going good, tough as shit though. Couple of your records still stand. People are pretty much in awe of me that I was under your command."

Lifting her eyebrows, "Oh and I am sure you are _not_ using that to your advantage."

Smiling he replies, "Of course not. Seriously though, thanks for your advice ya know before."

James was referring to the advice to go for it when he asked Shepard her thoughts on his joining the N7 program. James was asked to join just before the Reaper invasion.

"It was my pleasure Vega, they are lucky to have you."

* * *

"Tali it is so good to see you, how is Rannoch?" asks Liara.

"It is beautiful Liara. Our progress is slow but steady. I do not know if I will be able to be out of my suit before my lifetime, but it is worth it for the next generation."

"You still building on the land you showed me Tali?" asks Shepard as she approaches the pair putting her arm around the quarian.

"I am yes Shepard."

"That's great Tali. I am so glad you could make it," says Shepard with a slight squeeze of her shoulder.

"I wouldn't miss it Shepard. You and Liara are going to make wonderful parents."

Liara replies, "Thank you Tali that is kind of you to say."

"I am going to check on our others guests, I will see you two later," says Shepard giving a quick peck on Liara's cheek before leaving.

"She looks very happy Liara," says Tali.

"I think she is."

"Of course she is. She got her blue beauty," says Tali with a nudge.

Liara is a little surprised; she thought the term blue beauty was something private between her and Shepard. "How did you know she called me that?"

"It was when I first arrived on the Normandy during the invasion we were catching up. I asked about you and she beamed with delight, she called you her blue beauty."

Liara blushed slightly wishing she had a little nickname for Shepard. "I do love her very much."

"It shows Liara and now I understand why humans say that when their women are pregnant they glow, I think that applies to asari as well. You are simply stunning Liara."

"Thank you Tali."

* * *

"Hey Valya, Dara, you two need a refresher on your drinks?" asks Shepard as she approaches the asari couple.

"No thanks," says Dara.

"Yes please," says Valya, "We will join you." The two follow the commander into the kitchen. "Your place is gorgeous, maybe I should work for the Alliance," jokes Valya.

Laughing, "Thanks. You don't make a lot as a soldier; I am just a good saver."

Dara nudges Valya in the ribs, "See," she says.

Shepard looks between the two gesturing to them, "What was that about?"

Dara says, "I keep telling Valya she needs to save more money from her earnings."

Rolling her eyes, Valya says, "Yeah, yeah, but we are only young once."

Laughing Shepard says, "Never hurts to be a bit frugal, but at the same time leaving room for fun. You two are going to live a long, long time; you need to make sure you don't outlive your money."

"Told you," says Dara as she nudges Valya again.

"Geez thanks a lot Shepard."

Holding her hands up as if surrendering, Shepard replies, "Just saying."

* * *

"So Shepard, we hear you are coming back to work Monday," says Jen Alhe.

"Yep, looking forward to it too," says Shepard to her new squad mates.

"We are too, I can only take so many drills ya know," says Bering.

"Bering it is nice to see you recovered well from our last outing."

"Same to you Shepard."

"Yeah, hey Shepard," says Langer, "When you got shot and the Doc was working on you I saw those nasty scars on your stomach – what the hell did that?"

The question catches Shepard off guard. Her kidnapping, torture and rescue never made it to the press. The only people outside of the rescue team that knew about it are The Council. She has no idea how to respond to the question. She actually finds herself a bit pissed off that he is asking. Trying her best to smile and not show her discomfort she replies, "Geez Langer, I got so many scars I lost count where they all came from, excuse me gotta check on some guests."

Nicols punches Langer on the arm, "Smooth asshole."

"What? What did I say?"

* * *

Shepard joins Garrus out on the deck. She noticed him sitting by himself looking at the stars.

"You need a drink Vakarian?"

"Thanks Shepard, I'm fine. Why don't you join me?"

"Don't mind if I do," she says taking a drink of her beer.

"This family thing really suits you Shepard."

She isn't sure if he is making a joke or being sentimental.

"You going soft on me Garrus?"

"Nah, nothing like that. It is just nice to see you finally, what it is you humans say, let your hair down."

Letting out a deep breath, "Yeah, it is nice let me tell ya. As much as I love the Alliance, I just don't see myself with them much longer."

Garrus looks at Shepard, "Really?"

"Well yeah. With all the shit I have seen, hell we all have seen, I think we deserve a break. It just doesn't feel the same."

"What's that?"

"The Normandy, the crew. The squad is great, but they are not you or Ash or, you get it."

"Change is hard."

"I guess. I just, I don't know. After the war and my long recovery, I have just gotten used to being around here with Liara. I just love doing what I want to do, not having to answer to anyone."

"That is definitely nice. Have you talked to Liara about it, retiring I mean?"

"No. I am not sure if I should yet. I think I would go stir crazy if I wasn't working, but then I don't know. She has her own work so even if I was retired she wouldn't be hanging out with me every day, she would be working."

"You could always hire yourself out."

Almost spitting her beer out, "Yeah right! What exactly would I charge for?" she asks laughing.

"I bet people would pay big bucks to hire you as a merc."

"No way Garrus, I hope you are joking."

"I'm just saying."

A comfortable silence fell on the pair. They sat and drank their beer while watching the night sky not noticing the talking inside the home.

* * *

With the guests gone and the kitchen cleaned, Ashley, Garrus and Tali in their respective bedrooms, Liara and Shepard get ready for bed. Liara catches Shepard staring at herself in the mirror with her shirt up. There is a look of sadness on her face.

"That was quite the party Elly," says Liara as she hugs the human woman from behind.

Shepard leans back into her with a smile, "It was great seeing everyone. And I think we made out like bandits with the gifts."

"I agree. And more are coming."

"Yeah, we will have to have Miranda and Jack over another time. I think it is so great that Jack is teaching."

Liara kisses Shepard's neck, "Me too." They stand in silence for awhile. Shepard seems to be in a trance. "What is it Elly?"

"Do you know where Miranda is?"

"I do not, why?"

"Can you get in touch with her?"

"I may be able to, why?"

Shepard lowers her head. "It's nothing."

Liara turns her in her arms and lifts her chin, "What is it?"

"I just, I don't know how you can touch me Liara."

"What?"

Shepard turns to the mirror and lifts her shirt. "These, I hate these," Shepard is referring to her scars on her abdomen. "And this, my hip is disgusting."

"It is not Elly, you are beautiful."

"Yeah right."

Liara sees tears start to form in the human's eyes. "Elly, I had no idea they bothered you so much, why didn't you say something sooner?"

Dropping her shirt keeping her back to the asari, "I don't know. I…I hate how my stomach feels. I miss my smooth skin."

"Is that why you want me to contact Miranda?" The human still would not look at her. "Elly look at me."

Shepard turns barely able to make eye contact. "Yes, okay. I wanted to see if she could maybe fix this, give me new skin or something."

Liara is a bit stunned. She knows how much Shepard hates Cerberus. To have her want to use Cerberus technology is a little distressing. "I do not know if she has access to that type of technology anymore."

Heavily sighing, "Yeah, you're probably right, it doesn't matter, let's just go to bed."

Liara stops her before she can leave the bathroom. "Where is this coming from Elly?"

"It…it's just something Langer said tonight."

"What did he say?" asks Liara.

"It's stupid, let's just go to bed."

"Elly Shepard," says Liara as she steps in front of the human. "Please tell me what he said."

Rubbing the back of her neck, "I guess during our last mission, the one where I froze, when Chakwas was working on me he said he saw my stomach."

"And?"

"He asked me where I got my nasty scars."

"Oh Elly," Liara reaches for her, but Elly pulls away and walks out of the bathroom into their bedroom.

"Like I said, doesn't matter, let's just go to bed."

"He is a damn fool Elly."

Shepard climbs into bed as if not hearing the asari, turns off her light and settles in for the night.

Before joining her Liara heads for the secure room inputting orders to Glyph to try to find Miranda Lawson.

* * *

"Thank you so much for the party and letting me stay, I wish I could stay longer," says Tali as she stands at the front door giving hugs to everyone.

"It was so great to see you," says Liara. "Please do come again."

"I will Liara; I hope to come after the baby is here. I can't wait to meet her."

"Hey wait, how do you know it's a girl?" jokes Shepard.

No one laughs.

No one could see Tali's facial expression under her helmet, but her body language did not look amused.

Rolling her eyes, Liara says, "I believe she has been waiting a long time to say that."

"Bombed Skipper, that was awful," says Ashley shaking her head.

"Aww come on you guys that was funny."

Garrus puts his arm around Shepard's shoulder saying, "Don't quit your day job Shepard."

"Ha ha Vakarian. I don't care what you guys think, it was funny."

"See what I have to put up with. You should have heard her at the doctor's office."

"I can only imagine," says Ashley. "Hey, thanks again. It was a great party, your home is beautiful. Liara, you need anything you call me day or night okay?"

"Thank you Ashley."

The spectre gives the asari a hug. They all makes the rounds of exchanging hugs before the three guests leave. Shepard holding Liara from behind, her head resting on the asari's shoulder.

"We did good T'Soni. We have some pretty great friends."

"Yes we do."

"I still think it was funny," says Shepard as she kisses Liara's cheek.

"Yes, I know you do."


	11. Chapter 11

The day before she returns to work Shepard is feeling restless as she finishes her workout in her workout room on the lower level of their home. She steps outside to their backyard to walk the property. There is a path that leads through the woods, but she doesn't take it. Instead she takes in the view. She is happy. She never thought she would be, not really. Shepard always thought she would spend her career in the military then be alone after retirement. She closed herself off from people after Mindoir; she didn't want to feel that kind of pain again,loving someone only to lose them. But Liara coaxed her out of her shell, slowly, painfully. Now she cannot imagine her life any other way. She has a loving wife, a baby on the way, she is incredibly happy and yet she is not.

Shepard is a fiercely loyal person. If you earn her loyalty you never lose it unless you cross the line. Shepard credits the Alliance for saving her life but has recently come to the conclusion that she has paid that debt. She has died once already and had two very close calls, when she was found in the rubble barely breathing after the reaper war and again after her torture.

She has not spoken to Liara yet about her feelings about retirement. She is still not sure if it is the answer or if this is one of her funks that she gets into from time to time. It is not depression that much she knows because she remembers how that feels. But it is something, a gnawing at her gut she cannot shake. Maybe it's the fact that she spoke with Admiral Hackett this morning informing her of a new assignment. An assignment that will take her away from Liara, away from Thessia back to the Sol system. Cerberus has reared its ugly head once again and multiple cells have been popping up all over Earth making life very difficult for the civilians as well as law enforcement and military. No one knows who even runs Cerberus anymore, all Shepard knows is she will be away from Liara missing yet another baby appointment, missing her, missing home. She knows she needs to make the best of today, but just can't bring herself to talk to her bondmate yet. So, she stares at the view as if she will never see it again trying to ignore the gnawing in her gut.

* * *

After her shower Shepard finds Liara where she almost always is, her secure room. Knocking on the door frame Shepard asks, "Liara, do you have a minute?"

No response.

"Earth to Shadow Broker, come in Shadow Broker."

Liara looks at Shepard confusion forming on her face. "Hi Shepard, what was that you w-."

Smiling Shepard steps in to hug the asari, "Nothing. Hey, do you have a minute?"

Liara sees the serious look on her face. "Sure Elly, what is it?"

Leading her to the family room to sit down, Shepard says, "I got a call from Hackett this morning."

"I wondered where you went off to."

Rubbing the back of her neck, "Yeah, well. I have a new assignment Liara. It's in the Sol system."

"What? But I thought-"

"Yeah me too. He apologized for taking me away from Thessia but needs me and Ashley on Earth."

"Ashley?"

"Yeah. I can't tell you more right now, I hope to tell you more when I find out, if I can that is."

"How long will you be gone?"

"It could be over two weeks."

"Two..oh Goddess Elly."

Shepard moves closer to Liara grabbing for her hands. "I know, I'm sorry Liara. I hate that I am going to miss the next obstetrician appointment, but then again after the last one maybe it's for the best."

This is Shepard's attempt at humor, to lighten the mood of the news, but there is no smile from Liara. In fact Shepard cannot really tell how Liara is feeling about the news; she will not look at her. Lifting her hand to the asari's chin, "Liara?" Shepard sees tears well in Liara's eyes and draws her close. "Hey, it's going to be okay, the time will fly by you will see." Of course Shepard didn't believe it but she hates seeing Liara sad.

"I..I am sorry Elly."

Pulling back to look at Liara in the eyes, "What on earth for Liara?"

"I am being selfish. I know you have a job to do, I am just going to miss you."

"I am going to miss you like crazy. I am not happy about it. I am really sorry I am going to miss our baby appointment. I want you to call Valya and Dara, hang with them from time to time okay. I don't want you being alone the whole time."

"I will Elly. I will be fine, but I will."

"So what do you say, I grab some food from your favorite restaurant and we hang out all day on the couch, or the bed?" Shepard says as she lifts her eyebrows.

"Sounds perfect."

"Okay, I will be back soon Liara. I love you."

* * *

The day was perfect. They shared time between the couch, the bed, the floor back to the couch. They enjoyed each other with fervor because they knew it would be too long before they would see each other again. The morning was the hardest. The tears from Liara were hard to walk away from, but Shepard did. She kept her shoulders back and chin up because that is what she always did when circumstances called for it. She would miss Liara terribly, but she had a job to do. The one bright star in this lousy assignment was Ashley. She was looking forward to working with her again.

"Permission to come aboard Spectre Williams," says Shepard.

With a smile, "Permission granted Spectre Shepard."

Shepard steps onto Spectre Ashley Williams' ship _Freedom_. Shepard returns the salute offered by the Williams and her crew. Williams says, "At ease."

"Follow me Skipper."

The CIC was much like the Normandy, galaxy map in the middle of the area surrounded by chairs and consoles for the crew. Ashley led Shepard to her personal quarters.

"Whoa, nice digs Ash, damn."

"Thanks Skipper."

"I think these are bigger than the Normandy's."

"Maybe, but I don't think so."

"So Ash, how does it feel, your own ship, she's a beauty."

"It took a little getting used to at first, but now she feels more like home every day. Drink?"

"Hell ya. I bet your selection is better too."

Shepard sits on a leather chair while Ash takes the couch. Shepard joins Ashley in propping her feet on the table after she sees Ash do it.

"So what can you tell me about our target?" asks Shepard.

"Oh I see how it is, straight to business, what no girl talk first?" chides Ashley.

"Sorry. I'm a little pissed with this whole thing. Not the working with you part, but ..-"

"Being away from Liara?"

"Yeah."

"I get it. Have you talked to her today?"

"Not yet. Was hoping to get through our briefing then contact her."

"Gotcha. Okay, the first target is a warehouse," says Ashley as she taps on a keyboard to display a building on the screen on the side of the room.

"Whoa! That's way better than an aquarium; I gotta get one of those for the Normandy. Can you watch vids on it?"

Laughing Ashley replies, "Probably, haven't tried."

"Oh we gotta swap ships for a week Ash, this would be awesome."

Snorting, "Okay, so we doing this or what?"

"Yeah, yeah sorry."

"Like I was saying, our first target is a warehouse." Ashley hears grumbling from Shepard. "What?"

"Why does it always have to be a warehouse?"

"What do you…oh. You okay Skipper?"

"Yep, proceed."

"Okay, well as you can see the building has two levels. From our surveillance of the area we have been able to track the guard's routes and routines throughout the building, shift changes that kind of thing. You can see them in red here."

"How long you been watching the place?"

"About 3 weeks."

"Those are a lot of red marks Ash."

"Yeah, which is why we need you and your team, there are a lot of them."

The objective of their mission is to kill every last Cerberus agent in the building. The orders are straight from the Council. They want the base hit hard so the other Cerberus cells feel it. Not sure of the number of Cerberus cells in the area, this mission is hitting one of the largest found to date.

Cerberus is making rebuilding very difficult, they are bombing businesses newly repaired. The Council wants action because the latest building bombed was a hospital. Of course the hospital was not occupied with patients, but it was planning on being fully operational within two months. The Council has decided to use intimidation to its advantage, take out the largest cell found and maybe the others will go underground if only for a while, allowing the Alliance more time to find more cells.

"I like that Skipper that looks good."

"I think it will work."

"Yeah, now I almost feel bad for them even though we are the ones outnumbered," says Ash. "Damn Skipper, you are a genius."

"Cut it out Ash. You have a mind for this stuff, your plan was good."

"But your plan rocks. So we attack at dawn then. That is just about seven hours from now."

Standing Shepard says, "I'll brief my squad one hour prior to mission. If you need me you know how to contact me."

"Sounds good Skipper."

Ashley escorted the commander to her shuttle where she returned to the Normandy.

* * *

In her quarters Shepard can't help but think how nice it would be to have a wide screen display on the wall instead of the aquarium. After sitting on the couch she thinks how nice it would be to have new furniture too. Smiling to herself she dials her omni-tool.

"Hello Elly."

"Hey Liara, how are you?"

"I am good, how about you?"

"Good. Just got back from my meeting with Ash. We have our plan and we go in about six hours."

Liara wants to ask if it is dangerous but she knows better. Shepard has not been able to tell her about the mission as she hoped. "How is Ashley?"

"She's good. Holy shit Liara you should see her ship. I mean it is really nice and her quarters are bigger than mine."

This brings a smile to the asari's face, "But your ship is still the fastest is it not?"

"Well yeah and I have the best pilot, though don't tell Joker I said so," she returns the smile. The smile quickly fades, "God I miss you Liara."

"I miss you too. I am seeing Valya and Dara later today. We are having dinner together."

"That's good…that's great Liara. Tell them I say hi."

"I will. Elly?"

"Yeah?"

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I just wish I could hold you. Damn it hasn't even been two days, when did I get so soft."

"I don't think you are soft Shepard, just human."

Laughing, "Oh nice one Liara. Glad to see you still have your sense of humor."

"Unlike you, I never lost it."

"Whoa another one. Okay ,okay I give, geez. You are on a role my blue beauty."

Liara loves it when Shepard calls her that; it is not nearly often enough. "I am only joking Shepard."

"I know I know. How did you get so much better at it than me? You never used to even know when I was telling a joke, now you have surpassed me. It's not fair. You can't be better at everything."

"You are still a better shot than me."

"Gee thanks, somehow that doesn't really help," Shepard says smiling then sighing. "I should go Liara. I need to try to get some sleep before I brief my squad. "

"Alright Elly, stay safe. I love you."

"I love you. I love our little one too."

* * *

"Liara over here!"

Liara looks to see Valya standing at a table waving, Dara smiling.

"Good evening," says Liara as she approaches the couple.

"Hey Liara," says Valya, "How are you?"

"I am good. How about you two?"

"Great!" answers Valya.

Laughing at her hyper bondmate, Dara says, "Good Liara. How are you feeling?"

It amazes Liara how often people ask her that lately. "I am feeling good."

"Are you sleeping much?" asks Dara. Liara gives a curious look. "I..just wondering," continues Dara.

Valya chimes in, "She is just curious Liara. We have been talking about kids, but it's much too early."

"It's not too early for Liara," says Dara.

And before she can catch her tongue Valya says, "Yeah, but you are not human." Valya's skin tone is a darker shade of blue than Liara's but it turns much, much darker once the words escape her mouth, she is horrified. "Liara, I am so sorry… I"

The words hit Liara like a punch to the face, like a punch from Shepard to the face. Though she has never been hit by Shepard, she suspected it must feel pretty close to what she is feeling now. "If you would please excuse me." Liara stands a little shaky and walks toward the restaurants bathroom."

"Valya, do something! I cannot believe you just said that, what the hell were you thinking?"

Guilt flooding her, "Clearly I wasn't. Goddess, what do I do, what do I say?"

"I don't know, but you better figure it out and follow her right now."

"Okay, Goddess Dara, I'm an idiot."

* * *

"Questions?" asks Shepard of her squad mates after briefing them on their mission.

No reply.

"One more thing, if I go down Schmidt is in charge, but Spectre Williams is in command. So if there are questions on what your orders are you ask her understood?"

"Yes Sir!" says the group.

"Good, suit up, we leave in twenty."

* * *

Entering the bathroom Valya sees Liara at the counter wiping her eyes with a towel.

"Liara?"

"I am not feeling well Valya, I will need to..-"

"Liara I am an ass. I am so so sorry, I don't know what I was thinking, clearly I wasn't. It's …it's just ever since your dinner party Dara has been asking me about having kids and I am not ready yet and I wasn't thinking because ….I'm an ass." Liara knows the rest of the sentence is the asari couple has more time to have children. The three asari are very close in age. By asari standards Liara is pretty young to start having kids, but it is not unheard of, just not very common. The obvious reason for starting a family so young is because Shepard is human and though her implants from Cerberus most likely will offer her a longer human lifespan, it is no match for the 1,000 year lifespan of the asari.

Valya is near tears. She really likes Liara and Shepard and she cannot believe how she has hurt her new friend. "Please Liara, please don't leave. What can I do, I am so sorry."

Gathering her resolve Liara looks Valya in the eyes, "It's okay Valya."

"It's not okay Liara; it's not okay at all."

"I think we can try another night Valya, I just need to go home now."

"Oh please Liara, don't go."

Liara places her hand on Valya's shoulder, "I understand Valya, you meant no harm. But I really must be going; I am suddenly not feeling so well."

From her meetings with Liara she did not know the asari to lie, and come to think of it, Liara does not look well. "Liara, please let us take you home, make sure you are alright. Do you need a doctor, are you in pain?"

"No. I have my own sky car."

"Dara can drive it back and we will follow in our car. Really Liara, let us take care of you tonight please. I know it won't make up for what I said, but you don't look well and I want to make sure you are okay."

When Liara did not resist the offer Valya grew more concerned.

* * *

It was one hour before shift change.

"Ready Skipper?" whispers Ash into her comm device.

"Roger that."

Ashley and her team are on the first floor outside ready to break into the door. Shepard and her team are on the ramp that surrounds the warehouse on the second floor. The door they are breaching leads to an office.

"On my mark," As Ashley counts down, Shepard gives the hand signal to her team to breach the door. Mark."

In precision form Shepard's team breaches the door quietly and takes out the one and only Cerberus agent in the office without detection. Ashley's team waits for Shepard's go. Approaching the door that leads from the office into the warehouse Shepard checks through the adjacent window for her next targets. There are two targets close by that are in perfect view of where Ashley's team needs to enter. Signaling to Langer and Nicols to get ready she slowly turns the door handle. Langer cloaks and leaves the office to take out the farther target. Nicols waits for his move. When she sees him decloak she thrown a singularity at the second target and while Langer is killing his target, Shepard kills hers. "Good to go Williams," says Shepard as she orders her team to proceed through the second floor.

Ashley's team is through the door quickly and quietly, Curtis is the last one through, he closes the door and finds cover with the rest of them. Three targets straight ahead Ashley tells Shepard, "Standby."

Shepard signals for her team to stop. They take defensive stances scanning the area. Based on Ashley's surveillance, the Cerberus agents are exactly where they expected them to be.

Ashley signals to Griggs, Curtis and Andrews to take out the two rightmost targets. She points to Hills and Shannon to take out the third. In tandem the smaller group pushes forward, they stop and ready their silenced weapons. Ashley watches the agents' movements, their pattern for the right timing. "3.2.1…mark." The three agents are down without a sound. Shepard signals her team to push forward.

* * *

"You feeling any better?" asks Valya as they enter Liara and Shepard's home.

"I am just tired," she replies.

"I think we should call a doctor, I really do," insists Dara.

"I don't think that is necessary, but thank you Dara. I just need some rest," says Liara.

"Well, I am staying on the couch Liara," says Valya.

Liara had expected Dara to object but when she didn't Liara is a little relieved. She is not feeling well, but she is not in any pain and is very tired. She believes she only needs rest, but has an odd feeling that maybe there is more to it.

"Did you hear me Liara; I am staying on your couch."

"Thank you Valya."

Valya and Dara exchange concerned looks. "You help Liara into bed, I am calling her doctor, Shepard gave me the information, I don't think Liara knows," Valya says to Dara.

Dara approaches Liara, "Let's get you to bed. While you change, I will make you some tea okay Liara. Are you okay to change on your own?"

Smiling, "Yes of course Dara, I am not completely helpless, just tired. Tea sounds good, thank you."

"Okay, I will be back in a minute." Dara starts to make tea, "Well?"

"Dr. T'Pol is on the way, that's her obstetrician."

Relieved Dara says, "Good. I will bring this in to her when it's done. Do you want some?"

"I am such an ass Dara; do you think I caused this because of what I said?" In her concern Dara completely forgot about Valya's major blunder at the restaurant. "I don't think so. Can you get the soup ready please?"

The asari couple brought food from the restaurant since they did not actually stay for dinner Valya finds the bowls to pour Liara some soup.

* * *

Shepard feels good about this mission, so far so good. But she can't ignore the gnawing in her gut. She signals for her team to stop. "Standby Ash."

Ashley signals for her team to stop in cover. They have five targets ahead of them; Ashley waits for Shepard, her eyes never leaving the five.

Shepard signals for Schmidt to take over and that she wants Langer with her. "Langer and I are doubling back," she tells Ash.

"Why?"

"Gotta feeling Ash."

"We can't stay here Skipper, we are sitting ducks."

"Roger that, give me 30."

Ashley checks her watch, 30 seconds may not seem like a long time, but it feels like a lifetime when you have targets straight in front of you and they should have been down by now.

Shepard and Langer quickly double back keeping low and moving quietly. She quickly signals to Langer to stop, "Hold," she whispers into her mic for Ash and all squad mates to hear. Shepard spots 3 agents coming toward her and Langer, it is the shift change and they are early.

* * *

Dara found a tray to place the soup and tea on and brings it into the bedroom where Liara is resting. Valya, feeling as if she has done enough damage for the evening, waits in the kitchen for the doctor to arrive.

"Here we go Liara, hope you are hungry."

Liara is not hungry at all. She is having a hard time keeping her eyes open. "I am not very hungry I'm afraid Dara."

Dara sets the tray over Liara's lap. "Nonsense, I want you to eat a few bites for me okay or do you feel nauseous?"

"No, just really tired."

"I know Liara, but you haven't eaten dinner and you need to have a few bites..Please."

Liara knows she is just trying to be helpful. She takes a few bites. The soup is good, but she just wants to sleep. "If you don't mind, I think I will lie down."

Seeing how she is fighting to keep her eyes open, Dara is not sure if she should allow Liara to fall asleep or not. She is not a medical professional so she has no idea, she does remember something about don't let them sleep if they have a head injury, but this surely doesn't apply, right? "Okay Liara, I will move this then, I can always heat it up later."

"Thank you Dara, you will find blankets and extra pillows in the hallway closet by the front door, I appreciate that one of you is staying."

"We are both staying Liara, if that is alright with you. I could not go home and sleep without knowing you were okay."

Liara scoots down her bed to lay down laying her hand over her stomach. _We will be fine little one._ She says to herself.

* * *

Quickly Shepard signals for Langer to cloak, "We got 3 hostiles coming in for shift," says Shepard.

"Shit," says Ash. Her team quickly surveys the area looking behind, side to side and in front. They do not see new agents coming in. "None here," she replies. "Can I take my 5?"

Shepard sees Langer in place as she readies her weapon. "Roger that Ash." From his cloaked position Langer sinks his knife into the back of an agent's neck, while Shepard shoots once to take out the agent second closest to Langer. Her second shot is fired as Langer's target slumps to the floor. He looks up at Shepard seeing two other agents down, "Damn Shepard," he is clearly impressed. Just as she is about to respond she sees out of the corner of her eye a figure. Before she knows it he is on top of her, her pistol knocked from her hand. Langer quickly cloaks and moves to the struggling pair.

She see the agent with a knife, he has it pulled back ready to strike. She flashes to the indoctrinated Liara of her nightmares.

* * *

After hearing the bell Valya answers and shows Dr. T'Pol the bedroom where Liara is sleeping. "Thank you so much for coming doctor."

"How is she doing?"

"She fell asleep about ten minutes ago, I hope that was okay. I wasn't sure if I should keep her up or not," says Dara clearly concerned.

Dr. T'Pol approaches Liara, "Liara, Liara can you hear me?"

Blinking, Liara slowly looks at Dr. T'Pol, "Doctor?"

"I called her Liara, we had to make sure," says Valya.

"I'm sorry to wake you Liara, are you able to sit up?" asks the doctor.

Wiping at her eyes, Liara slowly sits up and leans on the headboard of the bed.

"Let me run a few scans. How are you feeling? These two tell me you suddenly felt ill?"

Still a little out of it Liara replies, "I am just tired."

"Are you still having trouble sleeping?"

"Yes."

"Would it hit her so hard like this though Doctor," asks Valya, "I mean one minute she is fine and the next she is exhausted."

"Can we have some privacy please?" asks the doctor. She doesn't know if she should continue to speak to Liara in front of the two.

"They can stay doctor, they are friends."

Valya feels completely relieved hearing that from Liara. She hopes Liara means it and is not just being polite.

"If you are not getting the sleep you need, then yes I think it is safe to say that exhaustion can hit from out of the blue." She finishes up her scans, "Everything looks good. Are you eating Liara?"

Liara is lost in thought, she is wondering when she last ate. "She didn't have dinner doctor," chimes in Dara. "We have soup for her; she did have a little bit of tea."

"Hmm. Maybe you can heat up the soup now please. Liara I know you are tired, but I insist you eat all of the soup before you go to sleep okay? Where is the commander?"

"She is on assignment"

"I see."

"We are staying with her tonight doctor if that is your concern," says Valya as Dara left the bedroom to heat the soup.

"That's good." She sees the concern in Liara's eyes, "it is just a precaution. If you are not feeling well tomorrow you call my office okay?" says the doctor.

"I will doctor and thank you. I am sorry to disturb you outside of your office hours."

Waving her hand as if swatting away a fly, "Think nothing of it. Now you do as I say, eat then sleep okay." Turning to Valya, "You make sure she eats breakfast before you leave in the morning."

"Yes doctor."

* * *

Ashley signals to her team, she moved them into flanking positions to take out the 5 targets in front of them. They make swift business of taking them all out at the same time.

Langer feels he is experiencing déjà vu all over again. A hostile on top of Shepard and Shepard wide eyed and -

Shepard hears her heart thumping in her head, time has slowed, all she can see is the knife, the knife held by the Liara of her nightmares. She quickly counters the attack and strikes the target at his throat which is slightly exposed; she twists her hips left at the same time as the right handed strike. The force is enough to push him off of her but not enough to keep him silent. He is able to let out a small yelp as Shepard rams her omni-blade into his faceplate, Langer never had to decloak. Without missing a beat Shepard reports to Ashley, "3 targets down."

"Roger that, we got our 5, moving forward."

"Roger that, moving forward," says Shepard.

The two teams finished their sweep of both floors of the warehouse; they were able to eliminate over 25 Cerberus agents in complete silence. They moved quickly to set all of the charges as the actual shift change was less than thirty minutes away.

"All set," says Shepard.

"Set," replies Ash, "Move out."

The teams leave as they arrived making sure any new hostiles do not take them by surprise. As they enter their shuttles Ashley gives the order once they are in the air and the warehouse implodes on itself.

"That was fine work Williams!" says Shepard; she is feeling excited and relieved at the same time. She actually experienced a flashback but did not freeze; you couldn't wipe the smirk off her face if you tried.

"You too Skipper. You place or mine for the celebration?"

"I think yours Ash; you are the one with the bigger ship."

"Sounds good Skipper, see you all in about an hour."

"Roger that."


	12. Chapter 12

Waking as if in a haze Liara reaches over to touch Shepard who is not in bed next to her. Liara slowly opens her eyes blinking away the sun shining in through the windows of the bedroom. _Goddess how long have I been asleep?_ Rising, Liara leaves the bedroom to look around the quiet home.

"Morning Liara, or maybe I should say afternoon," says Dara who is sitting on the couch reading. Dara stands to meet Liara after seeing her confused look. "How are you feeling?"

"Dara?" says Liara still half asleep.

"Yes, uh… Don't you remember? Valya and I stayed here last night; we wanted to make sure you were okay."

Liara looks around for the other asari. Dara picks up on it, "Oh she is not here, she is training actually. They have an overnight thing. Liara are you okay?" Liara's color looks better but her lack of response is concerning Dara.

Placing her hand to her forehead, "Oh yes of course, I remember. I am sorry Dara, I think maybe I slept too long, I am still tired, what time is it?"

"Well you needed it, it's just Noon. Can I make you something to eat?"

"Oh no thank you, I am not hungry."

"You have to eat something Liara, doctors' orders. I was specifically told to make sure you ate something before I left, so what will it be?"

_She sure is persistent_. "A sandwich is fine Dara thank you. I am going to take a shower first."

Liara closes the door to her bedroom. She misses Shepard terribly. She dials her omni-tool hoping to reach her. She has no luck, but leaves a message. Against her better judgment she dials Joker's direct line, he picks up on the third ring.

"Hey Liara, what's up?"

"Hello Joker, sorry to bother you. I was wondering if the Commander was available?"

"Sorry Liara she is in the middle of a mission at the moment, I can't really talk right now."

"Of course Joker, I just thought –"

"Everything okay Liara?"

"Yes Joker. I already left her a message, but when you see her can you please tell her to call me no matter the time?"

"Sure thing Liara, it may be a few more hours yet. Oh hey, thanks for the dinner the other night, you guys really know how to throw a party."

"Thanks Joker, it was good to see you."

"You too Liara, I will relay your message, see ya."

Feeling a bit defeated Liara enters the shower to get ready for the day.

* * *

"All set?" asks Spectre Ashley Williams.

"Roger" Shepard replies.

Williams and Shepard are at the third Cerberus cell location ready to enter yet another warehouse. The celebration after the first warehouse was cut short when ordered to take out the second building immediately. The second building was smaller than the first and had a lot less agents. They easily killed the agents on sight and imploded that building. The third location is about the size of the first. Two levels to the building, over 20 agents inside walking their routes. Williams team is on the main floor while Shepard's team is on the second ready to go. The teams are a bit tired as they did not have a lot of rest between missions. The Council was adamant that the remaining two cell locations be dealt with quickly and swiftly after hearing how well the first one went, the reasoning being Cerberus would not have time to ready themselves before the next strike. Though every soldier on both teams are used to go, go, go without rest, Shepard is very happy to know that after this mission they will have time to breathe.

Shepard's team is the first to enter. The door they quietly breach creaks open, though not too loudly. Two agents are in the room. Langer cloaks himself, while Nicols and Alhe deal with the second target. Both targets are down without a sound. "We are inside," says Shepard into her comm device.

Williams' team has to watch the front door and sides of the warehouse outside. There are too many agents on the second floor for safe entrance. Shepard in their briefing together was confident her team could take out the necessary targets on the second floor. Ashley agreed, but doesn't like the waiting.

"Standby," says Shepard. There are in a little alcove on the second floor inside the warehouse. They cannot be seen from the first floor, but their cover is not exactly good. If they leave the alcove they will be very open, too open. Shepard points to Langer then points off to the right of their location; he sees what she sees, two agents walking their route which will lead them right toward the alcove. Langer cloaks and quietly gets into position. Shepard signals to Alhe to get ready with her shot, while the rest of the team surveys the area. Langer is on his target, Alhe is a bit too slow with her shot allowing her target to yell altering half of the warehouse and half of the agents.

* * *

"I cannot thank you enough for your help Dara," says Liara. "I don't know why I am so tired."

"Well, I remember the doctor asking about how you have been sleeping, you said that you haven't been lately. I think you just need a lazy day."

"A lazy day?"

"Yeah, where you just lie on the couch all day and get up only for the bathroom, snacks and drinks. Watch vids all day or read and of course sleep. Have you never done that?"

Lira is reminded of her time with Shepard before she left on assignment were they spent plenty of time on the couch and the bed, but neither one of them slept. This memory brings a smile to the asari's face. "I have not done that no."

Very surprised, "What? Well we should do that today, I mean if you want to. I can be in charge of getting the food, the drinks and well, you can take care of yourself regarding the bathroom. Valya and I do this at least once a month. When we get really busy, her with work and me with my studies we use this time to really reconnect. I totally recommend it for you and the commander." Dara's eyes are so lit up Liara doesn't want to disappoint her by saying no.

"And it is okay to sleep?"

"Well of course. There are really no rules; I mean you can make your own. Valya and I say no work and no school work. So the day can be anything you want."

"And you say that Valya is gone until tomorrow?"

"Yeah, they are doing overnight training. It sounds so grueling. She is so exhausted after them. They sleep outside if you can call it that. I don't think she actually sleeps much during these training exercises."

"I see. You are more than welcome to stay overnight again if you would like, but I do not want you to feel you need to. I am feeling fine Dara; I am just a little tired. "

"Are you kidding me? I would love to stay again. We are going to have so much fun. Have you ever had a sleepover Liara?"

Liara cannot help but smile. She wishes she had a friend like Dara when she was a girl. "I have not."

"Well, a sleepover is when you have people over and you can eat food that is really, really bad for you and stay up way too late and watch all kinds of different vids. We can have more of an adult sleepover. Where we eat maybe some food that is bad, but not stay up too late and well uh…"

"What is it?"

"I guess it doesn't really sound much like a sleepover anymore," she pouts.

_Now that is a pout, Liara thinks to herself, Shepard could learn from her. _

"But it will still be fun!"

"So what do we do first?" Liara has a big smile on her face, Dara is infectious.

"You get in your night clothes..uh what you sleep in if you want. Whatever you are comfortable in. You lie on the couch and pick out a vid. We just ate lunch, so we can start with snacks. I can go to the store if you want."

"I think we have some snacks, here let me –"

Holding her hand in a stopping motion, Dara says, "Nope, I will get it. Your job is to do as little as possible. Now you pick a vid and I will see what you got."

_Thank you Goddess for such a great friend. Elly, I hope you are safe._

* * *

"Shit, breach now Ashley we will cover you!" says Shepard as Alhe's target goes down after alerting half the agents in the place.

"Schmidt, Bering you watch that front door and cover Ashley's team, Langer get on the first floor now, "I'll be right behind you," orders Shepard.

Griggs breaches the door on the first floor, not quietly as there is no point. In the ruckus they are lucky because the alerted agents make their way up the stairs to the second floor. The stairwell is against the far wall of the door Ashley and her team enters. They split into two groups, Griggs taking one group and Ashley taking the other, both find cover to assess the situation.

Bullets fly toward Shepard's team. There are 10 agents making their way up the stairs, Shepard does not see Langer so she throws a shockwave toward the stairwell nearly hitting him while sprinting toward the stairwell. Four of the ten agents fly through the air and land on first floor in a clump. A fifth agent passes Langer, but Langer is able to take him out, but he decloaks leaving himself exposed to the five agents coming up behind him.

Nicols steps out from cover to throw a singularity, Shepard hears gunfire and knows it is not from her or Ashley's team as all of their weapons are silenced, then she hears a sound she is all too familiar with, a guttural cry after bullet finds flesh.

* * *

It didn't take long for Liara to fall back asleep. Dara coaxed her to change back into her night clothes which Liara did only after Dara herself put her own on. Dara covers her in a blanket and steps into what she assumes is the baby's room as it has a crib and baby furniture, to make a call to Valya.

"Hi Valya, hope your training is going well, just wanted to let you know that I am staying with Liara again tonight. She is still tired and I want to look after her. I talked her into doing one of our lazy days. Anyway, I miss you like crazy and I love ya Val, hope you are safe. See you when I see you."

Dara returns to the adjacent couch where Liara is napping and restarts the vid.

* * *

Shepard stops long enough to throw another shockwave. Two agents are still suspended from Nicols singularity, and now they are careening over the railing to the floor below. The remaining three agents start firing. Shepard rolls to the right, while two agents are taken out by Schmidt and Bering. The remaining agent at the top of stairs takes advantage of Langer decloaking too early, he raises the butt of his weapon and smacks Langer at the back of his head where he slumps immediately. As the agent readies his weapon, Shepard fires three quick shots, only one penetrates his shields knocking him off balance slightly. The agent quickly turns to fire at Shepard; Alhe takes her shot and drops him.

"Nicols is down!" yells Schmidt as he drags her bleeding body back to the alcove where he and Bering are covering Ash's team from above. Shepard yells, "Alhe with me, Schmidt, Bering you two keep cover and one of you patch her up!" Shepard quickly checks on Langer, there is a pulse but he is out cold. She doesn't wait for Alhe to catch up; she makes her way down the stairs.

Griggs and his team, Andrews and Hills, move quickly taking cover behind boxes, they move left while Ashley, Curtis and Shannon move right. The rest of the Cerberus agents in the warehouse are all running toward their location and the stairwell. Too many to count, Griggs signals his team to fire. Ashley and team do the same.

Shepard runs down the stairs as quickly as her legs will take her. She switched to her M-27 Scimitar I, a rapid fire shotgun, after seeing that her pistol did not penetrate the agent's shields as she hoped. She feels bullets hit her shields, too far from cover; she dives off the last two steps landing on her right shoulder and slamming her side into the wall with an oomph. An agent is close, too close, lifts his weapon to fire when he slumps over. Shepard knows the fire came from Alhe, without looking Shepard moves to cover while her shields are warning of an overload alarm.

"Shit Schmidt, she's bad," says Bering as he finishes applying medi-gel to Nicols' neck. The bullet sliced through her shields and she is losing a lot of blood.

Ashley and Grigg's teams open fire on the agents making their way towards them. Shepard and Alhe contribute to the gunfight once they find cover.

"Keep watching the front door!" yells Shepard over the noise, the last thing they need right now is to get flanked.

The Cerberus agents, not the brightest soldiers are far too clumped together, making it very easy for the teams to cut them down. The warehouse turns eerily quiet, everyone holds position.

"Report Schmidt, how is Nicols?"

"She's bad Shepard, real bad."

"We need to get her to Doctor Chakwas!" says Bering.

"Do what you can Bering, we are not out of the woods yet," says Shepard. "Alhe with me, Ash we are moving up."

"Roger that Skipper, Griggs move out."

Griggs and his team moves up the left side, Ashley and her team move up the middle while Shepard and Alhe move up the right side of the warehouse, they all move as if in a line but remain staggered.

"Shit man, she is going to die here," says Bering.

"Did you get the bleeding to stop?" asks Schmidt.

"Yeah, but she has lost so much, look at how pale she is."

"She's tough Bering, just watch that damn door," says Schmidt.

The teams finish their patrol and do not find any other agents in the warehouse. Shepard approaches Ash so as not to talk over comms. "Ash, can I call in the shuttle to get Nicols out of here?"

"You need to check the perimeter outside first, make sure it's safe."

"Roger that. Schmidt, can one of you carry Nicols?"

Bering nods to him, "Yes Sir."

"Good, Bering you bring Nicols down here, Schmidt I need you with me, you, me and Alhe need to check the perimeter before the shuttle can pick her up. Griggs, Can one of your people get Langer for me?"

Griggs nods toward Shannon to get him.

"Cortez!"

"Here Shepard."

"Standby, Nicols is wounded. Be ready to get here fast, I will let you know."

"Yes Sir," says Cortez.

"We will set the charges Skipper," says Ashley.

"Roger that." Schmidt has joined Shepard and Alhe. "Let's move."

"Hang in there Nicols, you hear me," says Bering as he gently lifts her in a fireman's carry.

Schmidt turns the knob of the door leading outside of the first floor warehouse. Checking left then right he moves out the door to the left, Shepard on his heels move to the right side, Alhe follows Schmidt. They both make their way to the edge of the building. Schmidt peeks around the corner. Shepard hears a snap but she is checking her corner. What she heard registers and she knows her team is in trouble. She makes sure her exterior side is clear and is almost afraid to turn toward Schmidt and Alhe because she knows what she is going to find before she even looks.

A couple more snaps, Shepard yells "Down, get down!" Shepard sees a body laying flat on the ground. She sees another figure crouched, she does not know which is which. Shepard runs toward the figure when she hears more snaps then sees muzzle flare. She rolls right as a bullet pierces through her shields hitting her left thigh in mid roll. During her roll she drops her shotgun and lifts her pistol from her hip because her target is farther away rendering her shotgun useless. Getting up on one knee, in one fluid movement, Shepard returns fire toward the muzzle flare. "Ash, we need help out here!" yells Shepard, as she moves against the exterior wall of the warehouse.

* * *

"Well hello there sleepy head," smiles Dara, Liara wakes from her nap. "You hungry?"

Yawning, "Hello, Dara yes actually I am." Liara looks at the coffee table, it contains multiple bowls filled with different snacks, and there are multiple bottles as well. "Just how long was I asleep?"

Picking up on her expression, Dara says "Oh not long. I just like having a variety close by, it saves time going to the kitchen too often where I have to stop the vid. Umm, it's only been an hour. You feeling any better?"

"I am yes thank you. What are you watching?"

"Well it is some action flick, it's so fake. Like one person can really take down 1o guys without breaking a sweat," says Dara.

Liara smiles to herself, she knows full well that Shepard can do just that. "So what is good?" she asks gesturing to the bowls of goodies.

"Oh let me make you something nutritious. Or, or, I could get some food from this really good restaurant that serves pasta, have you ever had pasta?"

Liara smiles at Dara's excitement, "Yes I love pasta, Shepard introduced me to it."

"It's settled then. I will get some proper food and we can resume the festivities, sound good?"

"Yes Dara, thank you."

* * *

A bullet comes too close, Shepard hears it whiz by. She lies flat on her stomach, switches to infrared since she cannot see anything in the dark. She sees Schmidt unmoving lying on the ground, Alhe sitting against the exterior wall. She hears what must be Griggs and his team coming behind her. "Down!" she yells. She sees a figure in her sights, takes aim and fires five shots, the figure goes down. Quickly moving to the edge of the exterior wall she checks around the corner. She again hears what must be Griggs coming up behind her.

Shepard does not see anything; she turns off infrared, "Clear." Moving to Schmidt she turns him to check his injuries.

"Alhe, you okay?" asks Griggs.

She is holding her right shoulder, "Got one in the shoulder, I'll be fine," is her reply.

"Cortez, we need you now!" barks Shepard.

"On my way Commander."

Ashley and the rest of her team join them, "Charges are –"she doesn't finish her sentence.

"Come on Schmidt, Shepard is removing his chest plate, Ashley kneels down opposite of her to help with the clamps, though she feels it is futile because there is a hole the size of a fist in the chest plate.

"Griggs, keep watch on the perimeter."

"Yes Sir."

"Shit Schmidt, no!" yells Shepard as the chest plate comes off. The amount of blood is staggering,

"Skipper."

Shepard checks for a pulse, there isn't one.

"Skipper," persists Ashley.

She knows he is dead, but she doesn't want to believe it. She removes his helmet to find another bullet penetrated it, half his face is gone.

She hears the roar of the shuttle engines and knows it is time to leave. She lifts Schmidt over her shoulders in a fireman's carrying to get him on the shuttle. Alhe is able to walk on her own while Bering still carries Nicols and Shannon is not far behind with Langer.

As the shuttle lifts off, Griggs sets off the planted charges completely destroying the building.

"You're bleeding Shepard," says Curtis.

Shepard looks at him with hazy eyes, "What?"

"Your leg, you're bleeding, why don't you let me –"

"I'm fine Curtis," says Shepard.

He knows to leave her alone but he can't. "Look, just let me stop the bleeding at least, I doubt Cortez likes it that you are bleeding all over his floor."

This makes Shepard smile a little, "Okay." Shepard sits and removes the armor from her left leg, wincing as she does.

Touching her leg Curtis checks the wound. "Doesn't look like there is an exit wound," this should help with the pain a bit," he says as he applies medi-gel.

Feeling the bite of the pain subside a bit, "What the hell did we do before medi-gel," Shepard says with a half smile.

"Yeah, no kidding."

"ETA to Normandy two minutes, Dr. Chakwas has been informed of incoming," says Cortez.

"Thanks Cortez," replies Shepard. She is tired. She has no idea where it all went wrong. Maybe she should have had her and Ashley's team on the second floor to begin with, why did her team take all the causalities, was she losing her edge? Shepard tries to push the negative thoughts from her mind.

The shuttle lands and the doors open quickly. Nicols is hauled away on a stretcher. Two crew members enter, "We will take care of him," one of them said regarding Schmidt. Shepard nodded.

Standing Shepard hissed through clenched teeth, Curtis still nearby offered his arm. Too tired to not accept help, she leaned on him. "Maybe I should carry you?" asks Curtis.

"Nah, this is fine," Shepard replies wincing some more.

"I have to disagree," before she can resist, Curtis warps his arm under her knees and lifts her up.

"Damn it Curtis."

"No arguments."

Ashley who is waiting at the elevator approaches, "Skipper what happened?"

"It's her leg," replies Curtis.

"I'll be fine; I think Curtis is just as stubborn as I am."

Snorting, "I'll say," says Ashley. The elevator doors open and they enter en route to Medbay.

Shepard insists Curtis put her down before she enters the Medbay. She limps in to find Chakwas and her assistants working on Nicols. Curtis comes up beside Shepard and assists her to a nearby chair to sit.

"We need more blood for the transfusion," says Chakwas. She steps away from Nicols and looks at Shepard, she approaches. "We are giving her a transfusion, but the bullet when straight through. She should pull through Commander."

"Doc, Shepard's been shot," says Curtis.

"What? Where?"

Shepard replies, "Leg, it's not so bad."

"I think the bullet is still in there Doc," says Curtis.

"Jesus Curtis, I can fucking talk!" snarls Shepard. She is pissed but not at him.

"On the table Commander," says Chakwas.

Shepard stands, but quickly lifts her leg off the floor after she tries to take a step. "Sorry Curtis, I didn't mean to snap."

Holding out his arm to help her walk Curtis smiles, "Think nothing of it Shepard."

On the med bed Chakwas scans Shepard's leg. "Well, Curtis is right; the bullet is still in your leg. You will need surgery."

"Ah Commander?"

"What is it Joker?"

"Liara called, she wanted me to let you know, she wants you to call her when you can."

"Thanks Joker." Looking to Chakwas, "Can I call her quick before surgery?"

"Yes Commander, I need to check on Alhe anyway."

"Thanks, and Curtis thanks."

Nodding with a smile he leaves the Medbay.

"Shit," says Shepard. Ashley was entering the Medbay and heard Shepard.

"What is it Skipper?"

"Ugh, I need to call Liara, but my omni-tool is damaged."

"Here, use mine," Ashley offers. "Hey before you do, we need to contact the Council."

"Ash, I need surgery, bullet is still in my leg. Can you take care of it?"

"Sure. I ….I am sorry about Schmidt. Is Nicols going to make it?"

"So far so good and thanks. I don't know how long I will be out; we will need to talk when I get out of surgery."

"Okay, just call me when you wake up. I'll just give you a minute for your call."

"Thanks Ash."

Shepard dials the omni-tool.

* * *

"I told you, this pasta is so good!" says Dara with a mouthful of noodles.

"Can you do this?" asks Liara as she shows Dara what Shepard showed her, taking one noodle between her lips and sucking.

"Oh my gosh! I gotta show that to Val!" laughs Dara as she tries sucking in her own noodle.

Liara hears the beeping of her omni-tool. She quickly checks it then answers"Hello?

"Hey Liara, it's me, I am using Ashley's omni-tool."

"Elly…Goddess, how are you?" Liara moves away from Dara toward the bedroom for some privacy, she looks at Shepard more closely on the vid display. "Are you bleeding Elly?"

Looking down at her chest Shepard sees blood all over the front of her armor. "It's not mine," she says will such defeat in her voice. "Schmidt didn't…."

"Elly, I am so sorry. Are you okay?"

"Yeah…I mean, I took one in the leg, the Doc has to operate to get the bullet out, but I'm fine. Nicols has to have surgery first; she is getting blood transfusions because she lost so much blood. Anyway, I wanted to call you before I went under, Joker said you called? You okay Liara?"

"I am fine Elly; I didn't mean to worry you. I was just….missing you is all."

Sighing Elly replies "I miss you too. You sure you are okay, you feeling good?"

"Yes. I have slept a lot actually and feel very well. I am having fun with Dara. She is spending the night."

If Shepard was not so tired she may have been jealous at such a statement from Liara, but she knows Dara is just a friend. "Good, she taking good care of you?"

Smiling Liara says, "Yes Elly. Valya told me you called her to make sure they kept an eye on me."

"I hope you're not mad. I just don't like the idea of you being all alone while I am gone."

"No, I am not made Elly. I really like Valya and Dara. Valya is away overnight for training exercises, so Dara and I are watching vids and eating food not so good for us."

This brings a smile to Shepard's face, "That sounds great Liara. I should go, the Doc is growing inpatient. I love you."

"I love you Elly, please call me when you wake up from surgery."

"Will do."


	13. Chapter 13

"Hey Skipper," says Ashley as she enters Shepard's quarters on the Normandy.

"Hey Ash, thanks for coming here."

"No problem, how's the leg?"

"It's fine, just a bit stiff is all."

"And Nicols and Alhe?"

"Alhe is fine; Nicols is going to pull through but will be laid up for about a week. How was your debriefing with the Council?"

"They were pleased, very pleased in fact. They have another target they want us to recon."

Shepard sighs at this. She knows this assignment was for two or more weeks and it hasn't been one week yet, she just wants to go home.

"There is good news Skipper."

Looking at her friend Shepard says, "Yeah?"

"You guys get a week off. My team is up first and will do recon, and then you relieve us for a week so we get a break."

"Ash, you guys have been going what a month now with no break."

"Well we didn't have any injuries, besides, recon is not strenuous ya know. We have plenty of down time to recover and relax."

Shepard eyes Ashley, "You volunteered didn't you, to go first?"

"Hey, you would do the same for me."

Ashley wasn't expecting it but Shepard is on autopilot, she stands and hugs Ash. "Thank you Ashley."

When she didn't let go right away, Ashley asks, "You okay Skipper?"

Breaking away from the hug and sitting again, Shepard lets out a heavy sigh, "I'm just happy to be going home. By the way, where is the Council getting their information on these Cerberus cell locations?"

"Don't know, not that they would tell me if they did. They mentioned something about a source, why?"

"I don't know, it feels off somehow. I mean, what if this source has ulterior motives?"

"Like what?"

"Like increasing their own forces while we take care of Cerberus for them?"

"Shit…I mean Damn Skipper that is not good."

"No kidding. I mean it's a feeling..-"

"Yeah, well I don't ever remember your 'feelings' being wrong. I wonder if we should talk to the Council about this or at least Hackett."

"I think starting with Hackett would be good. In the meantime when I am home, I can maybe get Liara to help me with some research, see if anything is going on. I don't know it just seems too easy."

"Well now that I think about it, I agree. Let's contact Hackett then you and your crew can get on with your week off."

* * *

"Dara, that was fun, thank you so much," says Liara as she hugs the other asari.

"Oh it was great Liara. We should do it again for sure. Let's get together in a couple of days if you want, maybe we can do lunch and some shopping if you want."

"Sounds good Dara, talk to you later."

Feeling like a new asari, Liara is grateful for her new friendship with Dara. She does not remember watching so many bad vids all in one day, but the company and the food was terrific. She enters her secure room. "Hello Glyph."

"Morning Dr. T'Soni."

"Any updates on the two remaining cell mates?"

"Yes. I can display them on Stations A and B."

"Please do," says Liara as she sips at her tea. "Is this right Glyph, this Jones was with the Skulls?"

"That is correct Dr. T'Soni. That is the same gang associated with Nathan Bender," says the hovering VI.

"Yes, I remember gang members from the Skulls being arrested for beating him up, this cannot be a coincidence."

The Skulls is a gang in New York, Earth. Nathan Bender is also known as Squid, he was an accomplice with Kane on Shepard's kidnapping. If this Jones person was in the Skulls and he was cellmates with Brad Whitmore, the man who tortured Shepard, then this is very good news.

"Where is Jones now Glyph?"

"He is still incarcerated."

"Ah yes, he is still in New York. Please start scanning all visitors Jones has ever had including pictures from the security cameras."

"Yes Dr. T'Soni."

Liara hears her omni-tool beep.

"Elly!"

Smiling Shepard replies, "Hello my blue beauty, I'm coming home."

"Really, that is fantastic, when will you be here?" Liara cannot hide her excitement.

"About fifteen hours."

"Oh Elly, I know it has only been a few days, but I cannot wait to see you."

"Me too. I need to go Liara, need to make arrangements for Schmidt."

Sensing the change in tone Liara asks, "Have you contacted his family?"

"Yeah…..It …I just hate this part of the job."

"I am sorry Elly."

"Thanks..he was a good man. I didn't know him long, but he was a damn fine soldier."

"How are your other squad mates?"

"Nicols is going to pull through and Alhe just got one in the shoulder, so she is fine."

Liara sees Shepard move out of the vid screen for a moment. "Elly, you okay?"

Coming back into view, "Yeah, I'm sorry Liara, I need to go. I will be home as soon as I can, I love you."

"Love you."

* * *

Shepard enters the Medbay. "How she doing Doc?" Shepard is referring to Nicols.

"She is still sleeping, she will be fine."

"Good, what did you need?"

"I want to conduct another scan on your leg, please sit."

Shepard sits while Dr. Karin Chakwas runs her scans. "How is Liara doing Shepard?"

"She is great. I can't wait to see her."

"I can imagine. Your home is lovely by the way. You two throw a very good party."

"Thanks Doc. I am glad you could make it. Can you believe it, I am going to be a moth..err..father."

"It is a big responsibility, but to answer your question, yes I can believe it. I think any child you two bring up will be very lucky."

"Wow Karin, thanks, that means a lot."

Chakwas finishes her scan. "Everything looks good."

"Commander Shepard," Joker says over the comm.

"Go ahead Joker."

"Hackett wants to speak to you."

"I'll be right there, thanks Joker." Looking to the doctor, "We set Doc?"

"Yes Commander, you are in excellent health."

"Well you do a great job patching me up, thanks Doc." Shepard pats her on the shoulder before leaving for her quarters to speak with Hackett.

"Admiral Hackett," Shepard salutes.

"At ease. Sorry to hear about Schmidt Commander."

"Thank you Sir, he was a fine soldier."

"I know you are headed back to Thessia for a week off. I wanted to inform you that you have been promoted to Captain."

A little speechless Shepard replies, "Thank you Sir."

"I am just sorry it took so damn long for the paperwork to come through. After the war and all everything slowed down. But your service with the Alliance has been exemplary and it is well deserved, if a bit late. We will have an official ceremony later."

"Thank you Sir."

"Ashley told me of your concerns with this source the Council has been getting information from."

"Yes Sir. I don't have a good feeling about it Sir."

"Well, we are going to look into it on our end, one thing I have learned about you Shepard is to trust that gut of yours."

"Appreciate that Sir. Sir, if I may ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Lieutenant Commander Williams is –"

"Say no more Shepard. Don't tell her I told you as I have not called her yet, but she is being promoted to Commander."

Shepard smiles, "That is excellent to hear Sir, I won't say a word."

"You have been a great influence on her Captain, she is a fine soldier, and she deserves this."

"Agreed Sir, thank you Sir."

"Enjoy your time off Shepard, say hello to Liara for me."

"I will Sir thank you."

The call ends and Shepard is still a bit speechless. Captain, wow Captain Shepard. She says it out loud a few times, sounds odd at first, but it stills sounds pretty damn good.

* * *

"Time for dinner Dr. T'Soni," says Glyph.

"What already?" Liara has been researching all day hoping to find a connection between Jones and Kane, so far no luck. There are numerous pictures to view but even if Kane was pictured in one of them she would not know it as she has no idea what the man looks like. Liara leaves the secure room and enters the kitchen to make something to eat. Her omni-tool beeps.

"Hello," she says without looking at who is calling.

"Stop digging Dr. T'Soni if you know what is good for you."

Liara's head shot up, looking at her omni-tool it is a voice only connection, the caller information is blocked. The call ended before she could reply. _Goddess_.

Hurrying into the secure room Liara checks her security protocols. "Glyph, has there been any anomalies with the system?"

"No Dr. T'Soni."

"Could someone breach our security protocols without you knowing?"

"Unlikely," the VI replies.

"I want you to run scans on your programs Glyph, do a self diagnostic."

"That will take some time Dr. T'Soni."

"I don't care Glyph, stop what you are doing, this takes priority. And let me know immediately if you find anything."

"Yes Dr. T'Soni."

_How on earth could anyone know what I am working on? There are a few people who even know of Shepard's torture._

The doorbell snaps Liara out of her thoughts. Liara displays the view from the front door security camera. It is black as if it is covered. "Glyph, lock down the house now!"

"Security protocols engaged."

Liara is locked into the secure room. She has all cameras from outside the property displayed on her monitors. She does not see anything. "Glyph, what is wrong with the front door camera?"

Glyph responds, "It is working as expected."

Liara secures a line and calls Shepard.

* * *

"How much longer Joker?" asks Shepard, she is anxious to get home.

"One hour Comm..err Captain. That is going to take some getting used to. Congratz by the way."

"Thanks Joker. And make sure you actually leave the ship this time, okay? Why don't you come over for dinner in a couple of days?"

"Nah, thanks though Comm…ugh Captain. I'm going back to Earth for my leave."

"Ya know, you don't have to fly me to Thessia every time, you lose precious hours when you do."

"I don't mind Shepard. The Normandy is my home ever since …."

She knows he is talking about losing EDI. It has been almost a year now since Shepard was able to engage the weapon that killed the reapers; it just also killed all sentient beings. She feels personally responsible for Joker's loss. Placing her hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry Joker."

"Yeah, I know."

The silence remained between the two. Shepard's omni-tool beeps. "Excuse me Joker, and thanks for the escort."

"Anytime Comma…ugh…Captain."

"Hey Liara, I should be-"

"Shepard!" Liara interrupts.

"What is it?"

"I think someone is trying to get in."

"The house? Are you secured?"

"Yes. I got this call then someone rang the doorbell then-"

"Slow down Liara, Joker can you get me in faster there is a problem at the house."

"Aye Sir."

"Liara I am less than an hour away. Now tell me what's going on, what call and who is at the door?"

"I am doing some research…that I rather discuss in person. I received a call warning me to stop."

"What?"

"Yes and after that call someone rang the doorbell but the front door camera seems to be covered with something, it is black, but Glyph says there is nothing wrong with it."

"Okay Liara, you are safe in that room you just stay put okay. I will be there soon and will check the property and the house. I will call you when I get there okay? Just try to remain calm okay Liara."

"I will Elly, please hurry."

"I'm hurrying believe me."

* * *

Shepard's squad mates were all dropped off at an Alliance base on Earth; she has no one to check the property with her. Though it is close to midnight on Thessia Shepard calls Valya to see if she is available to help. The asari is more than happy to help. Shepard suggests she arrive at Valya's place then go to her house together so they can look at her property from the sky car.

"Thanks for this Valya, hey Dara," says Shepard as she arrives at their home.

"No worries Shepard," says Valya.

"You sure I can't come?" asks Dara.

"No honey, you need to stay here," says Valya. "I will call you soon, okay?"

"Okay, be safe please."

Valya and Shepard leave in the sky car. "Liara knows we are on the way," says Shepard. Her heart is pounding. "I appreciate your help Valya, thanks."

"You already thanked me Shepard, it's not a problem really, you would do the same for me."

Shepard is dropped off in the woods. She insists on walking the property using her infrared from her visor to ensure no one is lurking. Valya flies over the property shining the sky car lights on the home. Seeing nothing from the sky, she parks the sky car in front of the home and switches to her own infrared.

"Didn't see anything Shepard, outside the house now," says Valya. "Checking the camera."

"Roger that, do your sweep and stay in contact."

"Roger."

* * *

Taking about thirty minutes, Shepard and Valya were methodical in their sweep of the property. Neither one found anything. Entering the house Shepard and Valya check all floors finding nothing. Shepard dials Liara.

"We are inside, it's all clear."

Liara emerges from the secure room hearing Shepard and Valya coming down the stairs from the upper level.

"Thank Goddess Elly," says Liara as she holds Shepard tightly.

Shepard can feel her shaking. "It's alright, it's alright now, I'm here." Liara did not let go. "It's okay Liara; you are safe now we are completely safe."

Without letting go Liara asks, "What was on the camera?"

Turning her head toward Valya, Shepard nodded for her to talk as she continues to hug Liara.

"It is some type of cloth. It was attached over the lens. I don't think it would have stayed on if a strong wind hit it."

"So someone was outside then?" says Liara as she breaks from her hug from Shepard. "Goddess."

"Do you think it is the same person who called you?" asks Shepard. Liara gave her a look.

"It is hard to say. Did you find anything else Valya?" asks Liara.

"No, the property was clear. If you don't need my anymore Shepard I am gonna take off. I am sure Dara is worried sick, I know how she gets."

Shepard understands the look Liara gives her. She knows the asari does not want to talk about the call in front of Valya. "Hey no problem, thanks again for your help Valya."

"Anytime, goodnight glad everything is okay." Valya leaves through the front door. Shepard turns to Liara.

"What's going on Liara, don't you trust her?"

"I just don't want to talk about this in front of anyone, we only just met."

Shepard thinks there is more to it, like Liara is suddenly wondering if either Valya or Dara can be trusted. She is hoping it is because Liara is scared right now.

"Okay. You sure you are alright?" asks Shepard placing her hands on Liara's shoulders to look her in the eyes. "Liara, come here you are still shaking." They hug. Liara starts to cry tears of relief.

"I'm okay, I am just relieved," says Liara when she composes herself.

"Here, sit down," Shepard leads Liara to the couch. "When was the last time you ate something?"

"I was planning on having dinner when the call came."

"Okay, let me make some sandwiches quick okay, you just relax."

"I'll watch you," says Liara as she sits at the kitchen table.

"So who called, what did they say?"

"I have been doing research as you know."

"Yeah on Kane right, its okay Liara, I want to know."

"Yes that is correct. With Glyph's help I found out that the man who hurt you had three cellmates. I found out today that one of them belonged to a gang named the Skulls."

"Why is that important," says Shepard as she pours drinks for the two.

"You remember Squid, well gang members from the Skulls were arrested for beating him up."

Placing a plate in front of Liara, Shepard says, "So you think this cellmate might know Squid?"

"I think the cellmate, his name is Jones, is how the man who hurt you got Kane's name."

"How? Do you think Kane was in the same gang?"

"Perhaps, that is the theory I am working with at the moment and I think I stumbled onto something since I received the call."

"What did he say, was it a man?"

"The voice was distorted, but yes I believe it was a man's voice. He told me to stop digging if I know what is good for me."

"Shit Liara, that is threat if I ever heard one."

"He hung up after that and then I heard the doorbell."

Shepard stands from the kitchen table and hugs Liara from behind. "Shit, if something ever happened to you."

"The house is very secure Elly. I keep it locked all of the time and at least now we know the secure room works."

Kissing her on her neck, "I guess," Shepard sighs as she takes she seat again. "I don't like this Liara."

"Nor do I, but I must be on the right track."

"Yeah. If they knew you at all they would know that threatening you would only make you work harder to uncover their secrets."

"So you understand that I cannot stop then?"

Shepard looks in Liara's blue ocean eyes. "I understand it Liara, but I don't like it not one bit. Right now I think they are just trying to scare you. If they really wanted to hurt you they probably would have broken into the house."

"That is what I was thinking."

"You still have to be careful. Whenever you go out you need to look for any cars or people that may be following you. I mean that is what we are talking about until you find Kane, if you ever find him Liara. You really want to live like that?"

Liara senses the anger in Shepard. "I know this is troublesome Elly –"

"Troublesome, you're kidding right? Do you know how helpless I felt when you called and I was still an hour away. Thinking, I don't know all sorts of things. Liara you have a target on your back."

"That is not new Elly."

"Liara! No one knows you are the Shadow Broker except a few people, that is different."

Liara remains calm, "Not really."

Shepard stands and starts to pace. "How can you say that?" she says exasperated.

"If my identity was discovered I would be in just as much danger, more even. And you said it yourself, they only threatened me, tried to scare me to…-"

"They scared you AND they scared me Liara, damn it! Were you not just holding me not ten minutes ago shaking and not wanting to let me go because of how scared you were. I think you need to take this more seriously. What if this is Kane himself? We have no idea what he is capable of. Oh wait, sure we do." She is yelling now, "He is capable of allowing a woman to be tied up and tortured like he could CARE LESS!" Fuming now Shepard's heart is beating so hard it is all she can hear.

"Shepard?"

"WHAT!" she yells. "Damn it! I'm sorry. I don't mean to take my frustration out on you, I..I just don't like feeling helpless shit!"

Liara stands to try to calm her bondmate by placing her hands on her shoulders. "Shepard, I am scared and I take this threat very seriously. I am not going to do anything stupid."

Taking her hands into her own Shepard says, "I know Liara I know. I…I'm sorry. I am not mad at you I just …"

"You thought Kane would disappear and not be heard from again?" Liara finishes her sentence.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Well, we do not know it is Kane. I will not be swayed Elly, I cannot let them win. Not again."

Shepard snapped her head up to Liara's face wondering what she meant by "again". Liara's eyes are welling with tears again, Elly steps in to hug her, "Hey, what do you mean again, they didn't win Liara I'm alive."

Crying now holding Shepard tight, "You almost died Elly…to see you on that table.."

Shepard doesn't know what to say. She has seen images of herself on the table through her melds with Liara, but Liara was careful to flood her with feelings of love. She cannot image what Liara went through seeing her like that. But if it is anything like she felt knowing Liara could be in trouble it makes her want to cry too. She doesn't want to lose her blue beauty or her little one. She knows she needs to find Kane, get to the bottom of this and destroy every last one of them. She just doesn't know what she has to become to do it.


	14. Chapter 14

"What's all this Liara," asks Shepard still in her night clothes, as she rubs at her sleepy eyes. She sees Liara in the family room with data pads sprawled out all over the coffee table while Liara lounges on the couch drinking tea.

"I had Glyph perform searches regarding Jones overnight and these are the results so far."

Shepard looks at some of the data pads, "You plan on reading all of this and what, looking through all of these pictures, what's the point of the pictures?"

"I don't know, I know we do not know what Kane looks like, but I had Glyph pull pictures nonetheless. Perhaps Jones met with other gang members and we may recognize them. Maybe I can find a connection between Jones and the men who kidnapped you."

Setting down the data pad, "Have you eaten Liara?"

"Not yet."

"I'll make us some breakfast," says Shepard as she bends over to plant a kiss on Liara's cheek. "Just how long have you been at this this morning?"

"I am not sure."

Sighing Shepard leaves to make breakfast. She loves Liara, loves her drive, but doesn't want her pushing so hard that she stops taking care of herself. As the eggs cook Shepard steps closer to the family room, "Hey Liara, when is your next appointment is it this next week?"

No reply.

_Okay, so she is just focused, don't read into Elly, she thought to herself. She is obsessed Shepard, just like the Shadow Broker. _

When Shepard died in the Collector attack, Liara worked with Feron to steal her dead body back from a Shadow Broker agent. Feron was captured in the process and for the next two years Liara grieved for Shepard while trying to find the Shadow Broker. This experience changed her which Shepard found out when she was rebuilt by Cerberus and visited Liara on Illium two years after her death. Though it felt like only a month for Shepard it was two years for Liara, she was cold and closed off, who could blame her. Why open yourself up again to the woman you love only to lose her again because at the time Shepard was once again fighting against the odds and would likely die on her mission to stop the collectors. But Shepard was successful and she was able to return to Liara and they both decided during the reaper war that they wanted a future together. Liara opened up to Shepard again, allowing herself to be vulnerable again. They both knew that they probably would not survive the reaper war, but they did. And now Shepard is seeing the same coldness and closed off part of Liara resurfacing and it scares her to death.

Liara is hell bent on finding Kane and bringing him to justice, but Shepard knows that really means he is going to die. Shepard has made great progress in her sessions with Dr. Snowden, as she finishes up making breakfast she wonders what the doctor would say about this turn of events. If Shepard helps Liara on her quest for revenge, what will that do to Shepard, what will it do to Liara? Does Shepard push it aside and worry about it after they find and kill him, or does she bring it up and try to talk to Liara, try to prevent Liara from slipping into that cold place where she lived without Shepard for two years.

_Fuckin Kane. Haven't you don't enough damage?_

The fact is Shepard is scared. Scared what she will have to become to hunt down Kane. What part of her will be lost in the process, and is it okay? Their child will be born soon, a few short months, how does she explain to her daughter why she killed a man that did her no harm? But he did harm her didn't he? He took her. He had no right to kidnap Shepard and he needs to pay. But he helped her in the end, that matters doesn't it? He killed the man who groped her and heard him tell his men to not touch her. He even called their cabin with the warehouse address where she was being held, doesn't that count for something? Shouldn't he be able to live because he showed mercy or is Shepard being too soft? Will Liara settle for nothing less than his death? Shepard wants to ask, but is afraid of the answer.

"Breakfast is ready."

No reply.

Shepard moves to the family room, sees Liara reading a data pad. Shepard nicely takes the data pad away from Liara and sets it down, "Breakfast is ready, come and eat." She takes Liara's hand kissing the back of it and guides her into the kitchen.

"This looks good Elly, thank you."

"So Liara, I need to talk to you."

"What about?"

"Since I only have a week off before I need to return to the Normandy, I was thinking maybe you could come with me. I know the Normandy isn't the most comfortable place, but we would be together and you would be safe."

"I …am not sure Elly. Can I think about it?"

Biting her tongue Shepard wants to yell what is there to think about. I mean she is providing her bondmate an option to be with her and to be safe, but Liara seems to be choosing her lust for revenge over spending time with her. "Well it was just a thought." Shepard can see by the faraway look in the asari's eyes that right now is not the time to talk to her, she is far too distracted.

They eat the rest of their breakfast in silence, Liara eating quickly to get back to reading through her research. It reminds Shepard of when Liara first boarded the Normandy. How Liara threw herself into helping the cause to find Saren. Shepard feels she is losing Liara.

"That was very good Shepard thank you," says Liara as she quickly rinses her dishes and returns to her work in the family room.

Trying not to pout Shepard cleans up the kitchen and heads for the bedroom to change into some workout clothes; she has some thinking to do.

* * *

"Hey Ash, I hope the time is not too late or early," says Shepard as she calls Ashley from her omni-tool. Shepard walked the property again to see if she could find any clues, she found none. She continued her walk down the path through the woods and thought she would distract herself by calling and checking in with Ashley.

"Hey Skipper, no it's not. I was just about to hit my rack. What's up?"

"I just wanted to check in, did you talk to Hackett?"

"I did."

"Well then, congratulations Commander Williams."

"Thanks Skipper, congratulations to you too Captain. Wow, Captain Shepard, sounds a little weird."

"Oh but Commander Williams sounds perfect? I see how it is."

Laughing, "Well it does sound good I have to admit. Why are you calling, I would have suspected you and Liara would be behind closed doors all week if you catch my drift."

"Ha ha Ash, there is more to us than just that ya know."

"If you say so."

Smiling Shepard continues, "How is the recon going?"

"So far so good. The location is a house though not a warehouse. So there are three levels and more entry and exit points. But nothing we won't be able to handle."

"That's good."

"What's up Skipper, you sound a little down, everything okay?"

"You sure you have time Ash, I don't want to keep you from getting some sleep."

"Yes I have time, what's up?"

Shepard filled in Ashley about the information Liara has found to date on Jones, how he is part of a gang called the Skulls and that Liara's working theory is that Kane knows Jones and that is how Brad Whitmore got in touch with Kane, but there is no proof yet. She shared her concerns about how she feels that Liara is getting too obsessed, that she feels the asari is slowly pulling away from her. She asks Ashley for advice.

"Gee Skipper that is a tough one. I mean, you know how Liara gets. She is super focused on something until she figures it out; it was the same thing on her Prothean research."

"I know that Ash, but this is different."

"Not to her. This is very personal to her Skipper. I think you need to give her some time."

"I know you're right it's just…" sighing, "I don't know. I feel like I am losing her already."

"Have you tried talking to her?"

"Kind of."

"That sounds like a no Skipper," smiles Ashley. "Look, I'm no expert, but it seems to me you just sit her down and share your concerns with her. You know she loves you."

"I know…sorry Ash, I know I am going soft."

"Nonsense, I like this side of you, it's better than being yelled at all of the time."

Laughing, "Yeah, nice one."

"Seriously though, just talk to her."

"I will Ash, and thanks. You stay safe out there."

"Will do, night."

"Good night."

* * *

Shepard walks for another hour before returning home. Still unsure of how to start a conversation with Liara she decides to wait to bring up the topic. She finds Liara sleeping on the couch, data pads still strewn about the coffee table. She gently pulls one from Liara's hands and sets it down. Grabbing a blanket, she covers Liara with a slight kiss to her cheek, and then she heads to the shower.

After her shower, Shepard sits to read through some of the research found to date on Jones while Liara sleeps. Peter Jones was born in New York City, New York. His father was killed when he was six years old. His first arrest was during a police raid on known gang locations, Jones was only thirteen at the time. Shepard looks at a group photo and sees a very young Jones. Looking at the other kids in the photo she does not recognize anyone else. Jones was arrested for murder when he was nineteen years old. Shepard surmises that Jones didn't really have a family so he joined a gang to feel camaraderie and love.

That is all a gang is right, a place where you feel you belong. That is why they have such a strong attraction to kids who don't have good parents, parents not involved in their lives or no parents at all. Coming up through the ranks Shepard met plenty of military personnel that came from gangs. It was pure survival. Though violent, gangs have their own rules sure, but the people have your back just like in the military, and there is no greater feeling than knowing the person beside you would give their life for you.

On this thought Shepard looks over at Liara sleeping. A smile appears on her face as she studies the asari. Liara looks so peaceful. Shepard's smile fades. Concerned what this hunt for Kane is doing to her bondmate Shepard feels helpless to stop it, a feeling she absolutely cannot stand. There is no worse feeling to her than the feeling of helplessness. It hits her right at her core; it's the reason why she is scared, the reason why she cries the reason why she flashes back to war, to her torture, to her nightmares. Shepard cannot stop the feeling in her gut that she will soon feel this feeling again in all its veracity and violence. How much more can the human woman take. How much more can the asari take.

It's times like these when Shepard wants to run, to hide from the world. She doesn't want to be responsible for the galaxy anymore. She has done her part. Promotion or not, she wants to be done with the military. She wants the burden lifted from her shoulders. But now with Liara wanting so badly to find Kane, she can't even enjoy her week off with her bondmate because Liara is too fixated on what she needs she doesn't even seem to see Shepard.

_You are being selfish Shepard, she thinks to herself. Liara needs this, she needs to find him. I just want to hold her, to be with her. She is right there, yet she is so far away. Then help her Shepard, stop thinking about what you want and help her._

Wiping away a tear, Shepard leaves a note on the coffee table for Liara and grabs the keys to the sky car.

* * *

"Hey Dara, I was wondering if Valya is available?" asks Shepard, she is calling from her omni-tool.

"Oh hi Shepard, yeah just a minute, oh hey, how is Liara?"

"She's good and thanks Dara for staying with her, it means a lot."

"Anytime, here she is….Hey Shepard what's up?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to do some training?"

"What now?" asks Valya.

"Yes now."

"I don't know, I just got home, was going to eat and relax, but I could hang a little I guess. You would have to go easy on me though, I am pretty beat."

"Hey no worries. I called, last minute. We can get together some other time."

"Are you okay Shepard?"

"Fine..I will call you later, you enjoy your night oh and hey, thanks for looking out for Liara."

"It's our pleasure, you two are great. I will talk to you later."

* * *

With Plan A out, Shepard flies toward town. She parks and finds herself walking along the shops peering in the windows not really thinking. She doesn't even notice that she is one of the only humans around. Thessia, the asari home world, if of course mainly comprised of asari, but there are other species, just not as many. Shepard is recognized when she goes out, but the asari are more polite and keep their distance, though she does hear and see their reactions once in awhile.

She finds a bar and steps inside. The place is dark, the music is a bit upbeat and there are about five people in the place minus the bartender. She finds a table in the back facing the bar and front door and looks at the menu while waiting for the waitress to stop by; once she does she orders two whiskeys. She downs the first one feeling it burn her throat and tongue then sips the second.

She is not sure how much time has passed but it must have been a lot because the bar is full of people now. There is a dance floor she didn't even notice when she came in and the noise level is much louder. She had something to eat and by looking at the number of empty glasses in front of her she has had plenty to drink. _Shit, I said never again Shepard._She waves the waitress over and asks for water, she thinks maybe she can get ahead of her imminent hangover if she hydrates herself now.

"Hi there, wanna dance?"

Eyes a bit blurry Shepard looks up and sees Liara standing in front of her. "Liara?"

"What was that honey? I was wondering if you wanted to dance."

Looking closer Shepard sees an asari in front of her. She is darker than Liara, just as pretty too. "No thanks," she replies.

"Aww come on, you have been slouching here by yourself ever since I got here. Once dance isn't gonna hurt you."

Shepard holds up her left hand to reveal her wedding ring. "I'm bonded."

The asari shrugs her shoulders and smiles; she doesn't care she still wants to dance.

_What is it with people and bars and them wanting me to dance? If they knew how I danced, they would not ask me geez. I guess I am just that irresistible – shit I MUST be drunk._Shepard waves her hand, "No thank you."

The asari clearly disappointed, "Suit yourself," leaves Shepard in peace.

Shepard watches the people on the dance floor, she sees more humans now, a few turians and a krogan all surrounded by asari. She marvels at how the entire dance floor seems to move with the music. She admires the people; it must feel so freeing to let yourself go like that.

"You gotta be kidding me, Shepard?"

Hearing a familiar voice Shepard looks up to see him. Eyes narrowing, she recognizes the human male, but not sure from where.

"It's Mitch," he says "we met on Earth. What the hell are you doing here?"

_You have got to be kidding me._"Hey Mitch, how's the wife?"

He sits without asking, big smile on his face. "Actually she is pretty damn good. I took your advice and I still sleep on the couch from time to time, but we are together."

She shifts over a bit as he seems a bit too close, "That's great. What brings you to Thessia?" She has to raise her voice over the boom boom boom of the music.

"Business," he says, finishing his drink. "You want to dance Shepard?"

_Ugh._ "Why not." _WHAT!_

Before she can stop herself she is up, a bit wobbly, but up and ready to make a fool of herself. She wants to get lost in the music, wants to forget about Kane, about work, about everything. She is shoulder to shoulder with everyone on the dance floor. Mitch across from her keeping a safe distance, which is good, starts moving his hips to the music. Shepard moves her feet, left meeting right then back again, at least she does it to the beat. Looking around to see if anyone is laughing at her, she doesn't see anyone and Mitch has a weird grin on his face, an encouraging look. She lets herself go, she even raises her arms letting her body move with the music. Closing her eyes she lets her head fall back a little as she moves and sways to the beat. She doesn't know how much time has passed, she doesn't care.

She knocks into an asari couple and opens her eyes in horror, "Sorry, so sorry." She looks at Mitch who starts laughing and Shepard moves closer to him so he can hear her, "You could have stopped me ya know," she teased.

"Why, it's fun watching you flailing around like a dead fish."

Genuinely laughing at herself she replies, "Gee thanks." She may be embarrassed but for awhile there she felt truly free. She sees Mitch moving in close to her, he rests his hand on her hip while he dances.

_Okay, I __may__ be drunk, but I am not that drunk. _Shepard takes his hand and removes it from her hip, "I think we should go sit now."

He nods and follows her back to the table.

Shepard finishes off her water, "I think I am going to take off."

"Really?" He is clearly disappointed. "I hope this isn't because … you know," he gestures to the dance floor.

"Mitch, we are good as long as you keep your hands to yourself."

"Got it Shepard."

"Why are you here anyway, you never told me," she asks as she drinks more water.

"I'm here on business; I head back to Earth day after tomorrow."

Shepard sits now, "What kind of business?"

He joins her, though with plenty of distance between them, "Shipping."

"Really, is this the business you made legit?"

"The one and only. In fact, I heard ships were being randomly searched in this system. I have been searched once so far, I am totally clean," he says with a gleeful smile.

Not sharing with him that she used to do the random searches she replies, "Good for you. Hey, I am happy about you and your wife. I should go. Good to see you again."

"You too Shepard, take care."

Stepping outside Shepard sees it is dark; _Shit how long was I in there._ She dials her omni-tool to get a cab.

* * *

"Shepard?" asks Liara as she hears her at the front door.

Not knowing what to say and trying to hide her drunkenness, "Hey Liara, you're up?"

"Of course Elly, I have been up for quite some time. Where have you been?"

Not looking the asari in the eyes, "I was just out and about," she tries to make her way to the bedroom, but Liara steps in front of her.

"Look at me Elly."

_Shit_. Looking at her, "Hi," she can't help but smile in fact she starts laughing.

"Are you drunk?"

Waving her hand in front of her, "Meee? Nooooo. Just..a…..little," she moves her hand in front of her face where she extends her thumb and pointer finger and holds them close together to indicate an inch."

Concern in her eyes Liara asks, "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you leave to go drinking? I thought we could have dinner together."

_Oh now she wants to spend time with me, how rich._ "Oh now you want to spend time with me," _shut up idiot!_

"What?"

"Don't you have data pads to read? I mean there is a lot of research to get through; wouldn't you prefer to do that?" _What are you doing Shepard – I don't know – I can't stop talking._

Liara stands arms crossed mouth agape, Shepard sees her expression. "I know I have been doing a lot of research lately Elly, but you could have talked to me about it."

_STOP! Shepard thinks to herself. Do NOT say anything you will regret._ Shepard sways a little looking at Liara. Thinking to herself she wants to say something along the lines of how they heck can I talk to you when you ignored me this morning, didn't talk to me at breakfast or….. She instead says, "You're right Liara. I'm sorry. Can we maybe talk in the morning?"

"I would prefer to talk now."

Using her body language and facial expressions Shepard forgets Liara is standing right in front of her and mimics what Liara just said with great exaggeration.

Shepard feels her hand being tugged, she is now being led into the family room, she pulls away, "Hey I said no touching."

"What?" says Liara.

Shepard looks around, "What?"

Sighing in a huff, "Please sit down and talk to me Elly and drink this," Liara hands her water that was already on the coffee table.

Chugging down the water, Shepard wipes at the back of her mouth with her arm. "What's up?"

"Can you please tell me what is bothering you?"

"Ummm, hey, wanna dance with me?" Shepard attempts to stand to only have the room spin so she sits back down. "Whoa."

"I certainly hope you did not drive like this."

"Of course not, duh! I'm not stupid."

"Elly, talk to me."

Blowing air out making her lips vibrate, she reaches up with her hand, "Ohhh that tickles." She does it again.

"Elly Shepard!"

Shepard immediately stops what she is doing, pushing her lips together.

"Please talk to me."

Finally giving in Shepard says, "I miss you."

"You miss me?" Liara cannot believe her ears or the sight of Elly in front of her.

"Yes. You didn't really talk to me at breakfast and every time I want to talk to you, you are doing research."

"Elly you have been home for one day, what exactly do you expect me to do, drop everything the second you are home?"

"YES! I mean NO, I mean…." sighing "No of course not. I just…"

"You know what I think Elly?"

Shepard looks at her.

"I think you are incredibly selfish. You know how important it is for me to find Kane and you don't even offer to help. You don't even want to talk about it. I spend one day, ONE day Elly on research and you get so upset you don't talk to me but go get drunk instead?" Liara is furious.

Shepard does not want to get into this right now; she doesn't want to say anything that will hurt Liara, though she feels she already has. She decides to admit defeat to end the fight before it starts. "You're right Liara. I am selfish. As far as not helping you, I will help you when you find him."

Surprised at her admission Liara says, "But you won't help me find him."

"I can't talk about this Liara, I need to go to sleep," standing Shepard steadies herself.

"No Elly, I want to hear it." Liara is pressing her. Shepard tries to walk past her but Liara steps in her way.

"Move please Liara." Shepard tries to step past her only to be blocked again. "Liara!" Her eyes meet Liara's, they are angry.

"Tell me Elly," Liara wants to push Shepard, but hopefully she doesn't push her too hard.

"I don't want to lose you OKAY!" her voice louder than she wanted. Shepard turns her back to Liara wrapping her arms around herself.

Liara waits for her to continue.

Hands trembling, voice lower, "I don't want to lose you." Shepard is holding back the tears that are welling in her eyes.

"You are not going to lose me Elly."

Shaking her head back and forth her back still turned, "You don't know that." Turning know with red eyes as she cannot help the tears that fall now, "You have been threatened Liara. You have no idea what more this guy may do; he took me once who's to say he won't do it again or worse. What if…."

Liara slowly steps closer, "What if …what?"

Gathering herself she looks up at Liara, "You are carrying our child Liara. I can't handle it if something happens to you or to our daughter. You don't know what this guy is capable of," her shoulders are shaking now as she tries to hold it together.

Reaching for her Liara hugs Shepard, "Nothing is going to happen to either one of us Elly."

Holding Liara tight, Shepard says between sobs, "You don't …know….that. He ..could…be watching…us….right now."

"It's all right Elly, we are safe here, you have made this place practically a fortress."

They held each other for awhile. Shepard enjoyed feeling her, smelling her. She wanted to say more, wanted to tell Liara that she fears she is starting to lose her due to her obsession with finding Kane, she wanted to tell her that she is afraid of losing herself, but she knows now is not the time. What she did tell Liara is still true, it is just not the whole truth and Liara was right, Shepard is being completely selfish and she knows it. She may be overreacting; she knows Liara is capable of handling herself. But that doesn't change the fact that she heard the terror in Liara's voice when she was afraid someone was outside of their home. Selfish or not Shepard wants her family safe. If they continue down the path of tracking down Kane, safe won't be an option.


	15. Chapter 15

It is two days before Shepard returns to the Normandy. Tension has been better between the couple but not by much. Since Shepard came home drunk they have not really talked about Shepard's concerns because Liara hasn't wanted to hear it. Liara is focused, she wants Kane and she is willing to do anything to get him.

Liara is the first to wake. She has not made much progress in her research; she has found everything there is to find it seems on Peter Jones, the cellmate of Brad Whitmore, the man who tortured Shepard. Liara remembers earlier in the week Shepard's invitation to join her on the Normandy; she still has not given her bondmate a reply. Liara enters her secure room, asks Glyph for anything new, she already knows the answer the VI will give, nothing. As she looks at the various monitors that decorate the walls she looks at the prison where Peter Jones is currently incarcerated and gets an idea.

"Glyph, please bring up the prison information where Peter Jones is housed."

"Of course Dr. T'Soni."

Attica Correctional Facility is located in Attica, New York, Earth. Checking the extranet Liara reads through the information regarding the facility including how a person visits an inmate. Knowing Shepard will be returning to Earth in two days time, Liara sees an opportunity she cannot pass up.

The first step to her plan is to get into Shepard's good graces by making the human breakfast in bed. It may seem cold, but Liara knows what she wants and she will get. It is a feeling she is all too familiar with.

When Shepard ordered Liara off the first Normandy after it came under attack by the Collectors, she followed orders and she lost Shepard. Liara turned to the information brokerage business to make a living after that, she closed herself off from everyone. She picked up chatter regarding Shepard's body and how the Shadow Broker wanted it. Liara, focused as ever, did not allow anyone to get in her way. Feron, a Drell helped her, she didn't want it, but she took it. She got Shepard's dead body back and Feron was captured in the process. Liara didn't allow herself to feel too bad about it, she got what she wanted. She met with Cerberus operative Miranda Lawson and gave Shepard to her because Lawson all but guaranteed Shepard could be brought back to life. Liara was left alone with Shepard before having to leave her with Lawson; she looked at what was left of her. You can't really call it a body, flesh was charred off or loosely hanging on the bones that were present. She remembers seeing part of Shepard's tibia next to her shoulder in the box where she laid. Something broke in Liara that day, to see the love of her life completely ruined. She continued life the best way she knew how, to track down the Shadow Broker, the person who wanted to do harm to Shepard even in death.

Two years of tears, two years of wishing she had never left the Normandy, waking every day, looking for clues to where the Shadow Broker base could be or even a hint of who the Shadow Broker was, nothing came of her searches. She heard from Miranda Lawson after two years, 'it worked, Shepard is alive' is all Liara remembers of the conversation with the human woman. She could not believe it, that her hopes and prayers were finally answered. And when Shepard actually showed up on Illium, where Liara was an information broker, she remained in her cold place. She had a job to do; she had to find the Shadow Broker. When she saw Shepard face to face she wanted to leap in her arms, flood her with kisses, hold her close and never let her go. Instead she allowed a quick hug and an even quicker peck on the lips. It was all Liara could handle without completely breaking down. She kept her desk between herself and Shepard, a physical as well as emotional barrier. She needed Shepard's help with hacking terminals, to find a senior agent to the Shadow Broker known as the Observer. Shepard did not push her, their seemed to be a quiet understanding from the human though she could see the hurt in the human's eyes. From the work Shepard performed for her Liara surmised that her own assistant Nyxeris, was the Observer. Liara had no problem killing the asari. Then Shepard pulled through for Liara again, she actually came back to Illium with information on where the Shadow Broker base was and there was even a picture of the Drell Feron, he was alive. The terrorist organization that brought Shepard back to life also found the Shadow Broker. Liara didn't care at that point that it was probably the Illusive Man's plan to have Liara become the next Broker, she wanted revenge. She didn't bother to care about the long term effects; she wanted the Broker to pay.

Shepard helped her, even when Liara gave her nothing but the cold shoulder because that is what Shepard does. She cares for people even though she hides behind a tough exterior, Shepard likes to help. But she is not helping now, she refuses to help Liara find Kane and she cannot understand why, not really. So Liara deals with it the only way she knows how, she closes herself off, focuses on her target until she learns everything she can about him, then she will kill him, she will have her revenge, she will settle for nothing less, no matter the cost.

Setting the tray of food on the bedroom floor, Liara bends down and uses her lips to slightly stroke against Shepard's cheek. "Elly, wake up."

Feeling something soft on her skin Shepard opens her eyes. She is surprised to feel Liara kissing her, she thinks she is dreaming. Liara hasn't paid much attention to her this week; this is a very welcome change. Smiling Shepard replies, "Morning Liara."

"Good morning. You hungry? I made you breakfast in bed."

"What really? You didn't have to do that, what is the occasion?"

"Do I need an occasion to treat you?" she says as she leans in for a kiss. She grabs the tray and sets it over Shepard's lap once the human is settled and ready.

"Wow this looks great," says Shepard, "Thank you very much."

Liara sits next to her to join her. "So I have been thinking about what you said Elly, about my spending too much time researching."

"Yeah?"

"I think you are right about that and I am sorry. If you don't have plans, I would love to spend the day with you today."

This is the best news Shepard can hear. She wants so much to spend time with Liara. "Really, that would be fantastic Liara, what do you want to do?" now Shepard cannot wait to start the day.

"I thought maybe we could so some more baby shopping. We still have not purchased one of those special seats for the sky car."

"Ohhh, we could buy more clothes too."

"We have plenty of clothes Elly, you went a little overboard last time."

"I can't help it. She won't be small forever you know, before you know it she will be walking and talking back and ugh."

"What ugh?"

"I just thought about her dating," Shepard is smiling ear to ear.

Giggling, "Oh, I already feel sorry for her first date. We can eat at your favorite restaurant too if you would like."

Shepard narrows her eyes at Liara, "What are you up to T'Soni?"

"What do you mean?"

"You must want something if you are being so nice all of a sudden," Shepard flashes her sly grin.

Liara thinks Shepard is teasing, that she is not onto her illusion, "Just you," she leans in and kisses Shepard.

Finishing her breakfast quickly, "Okay, let's get going then." Shepard all but leaps from the bed and goes into the bathroom to take a shower.

Liara smiles as she doesn't remember the last time Elly has been this happy, her smile fades just as fast when she remembers why she is spending the day with her bondmate.

* * *

"What is it?" he asks clearly frustrated.

"She accessed the visitor page of the prison," says the other man.

"You think our friend is going to have a visitor soon?"

"I almost guarantee it."

"Take care of it."

* * *

"I think it is safe to say we are completely ready for our baby Liara," says Shepard as they enter their favorite restaurant.

The hostess seats them at a table at the back of the room. Shepard and Liara visit the place often; the hostess knows Shepard likes to sit in certain areas within the place.

"I agree Shepard," says Liara as she sits down, "I almost thought you were going to buy everything in the store."

"Well you can never be over prepared, besides if we are going to have a big family we can just give them the clothes our first one doesn't use."

Liara feels a pang of guild at Shepard's happiness, but she buries it. "We will have to see about that," Liara gives her best smile. "I wanted to ask you something Elly."

"What?"

"Remember earlier in the week you asked me about joining you on the Normandy?"

Shepard cannot hide her excitement, "Yeah."

Liara cannot help but smile, Shepard's good mood is infectious, "I was wondering if the invitation is still open?"

"Of course it is, that would be great, I mean…I know it won't be the most comfortable, but we would be together and you would be safe."

"That is good to hear, I mean about the invitation still being open. I would like to join you Elly."

"That's great Liara. I don't think I will be too busy either, plus you will be able to get to know my squad."

"Where is it that we are going?" asks Liara.

"Uh..well I can't tell you that, I mean not until we are on board, I hope you can understand."

"Of course. I do have an ulterior motive however."

"What's that?"

"I was hoping to maybe take a side trip for a day or two."

"Liara, I won't be –"

"Not together Elly."

"I don't understand."

"I have done a little research on some of the major cities of North America and thought it would be nice to take a day trip."

"Alone?"

"It would only be for a day or two. I thought I would check out some of the sites, I don't know what may still be open due to rebuilding. I thought it might be nice to find out then you and I can return when you have time off." This is part two of Liara's plan. First step, get on the Normandy, second step get to Earth, now she just needs a way to get to New York. Since she does not know where they are going she needs to improvise, she only hopes Shepard's wonderful mood does not make her suspicious of this day trip.

"Well, I guess if you want to. I just thought…" Shepard looks down, "I thought you wanted to spend time with me."

Reaching for her hand across the table Liara says, "Of course I want to spend time with you, that is why I am going. But I know you have your mission too, I just thought while you are working I could do this, I certainly don't have to, but I am capable of taking care of myself if that is your concern."

"I know you can Liara. Yeah, I mean if that is what you want to do, of course you can take a side trip. I just don't know when we would pick you up."

"I am sure we can figure something out, from what you have told me about the reconnaissance you will be able to land the Normandy from time to time."

"That's true, did you have a particular place you wanted to go?" asks Shepard.

"I have not looked into a lot of the major cities, but I would not mind looking at Los Angeles, Chicago or New York." Liara thinks she sees something in Shepard's eyes, a flash of recognition, but it is gone so quickly she doesn't worry about it.

"Hey, when the waitress comes by, can you order my usual please. I need to use the restroom," says Shepard.

"Of course, you okay Elly?"

"Yep, be right back."

Shepard is shocked. She knows Liara is completely and utterly lying to her. What Liara is not aware of is that Shepard did read up on Peter Jones, Shepard knows full well that he is incarcerated in New York. So now she knows why Liara has been so nice and cuddly today, she wants to go to New York to visit the man in person in order to get to more information on Kane.

Shepard enters the bathroom, grateful that she is alone; her eyes are filling with tears. She tries to swallow them down but cannot stop them from falling. _She is lying to me; this whole day has been about this she is using me to get to Earth, to get to New York. _

She takes a minute to compose herself, when the tears stop she splashes water on her face. She is not sure what to do, does she confront Liara or does she allow Liara to do what she wants? If Liara doesn't get to Earth via the Normandy she will go by another route, wouldn't it be better this way? If Shepard confronts her, what happens then, Liara will only fall deeper into herself, becoming more closed off. Shepard has seen Liara like this before; it is just like when she saw her for the first time on Illium after Shepard was brought back from the dead.

Sighing heavily after drying her face, Shepard dials her omni-tool.

"What"

"Hey Jack, you got a minute?" asks Shepard.

"Shit Shepard how ya been?" says Jack.

"Good, hey, you have anything coming up in the next week or so?"

"No, why?"

"You still like New York?"

"You gonna tell me what this is about?"

"I need a favor Jack and I don't know how long it will take."

* * *

Returning to the table Shepard sits.

"I ordered, it should not be much longer, you okay?"

"Yep and thanks."

They ate lunch, Liara kept on and on about the different cities she would like to see on her so called day trip. Shepard could not believe how easy it seemed for Liara to lie straight to her face; it scared her and infuriated her at the same time. There is a part of Shepard that understands Liara's desperation, but only a small part. The fact that Liara started her deception this morning with breakfast in bed, with the kisses they shared, the times Liara brushed up against her while they were shopping, it was all to get exactly want she wanted, a ride to Earth.

Just as Liara is biting down her feelings of deception, Shepard is biting down hers, trying not to take what Liara is doing personally, but how can she not take it personally. There is no doubt how badly Liara wants Kane, Shepard knows that, but she didn't realize just how bad until now. It breaks her heart that her bondmate is sitting across from her, smile on her face, lying. Shepard decides to follow Liara down the rabbit hole knowing full well neither one of them will come out unscathed.

* * *

"Hi Liara, I heard you were coming aboard!"

"Hello Joker, it is nice to see you again," says Liara as Shepard walks past her with their luggage.

"You too Liara."

"How have you been Jeff?" asks Liara as she places her hand on his shoulder.

Joker looks at her then quickly looks away. He knows she is asking about how he is since EDI died. She did stop working after Shepard fired the weapon that killed the Reapers. He blamed Shepard, a part of him still does. On a bad day he believes Shepard knew exactly what she was doing when she fired the weapon that EDI would die, he doesn't buy that she doesn't remember. On a bad day he thinks it is too convenient an excuse, a way to not face what she did, but at the same time he knows without her he and everyone in the galaxy would be dead, he remembers this part on the good days.

"Fine Liara. How is the baby, you are getting big."

Smiling, Liara places a hand over her belly, "I am feeling good Joker and I will forget about the big comment."

"Ah, yeah, sorry about that."

Squeezing his shoulder Liara walks toward the elevator to get settled in Shepard's quarters.

"Liara, hello," says Dr. Chakwas.

"Hello Karin how are you?"

"Good, good. I heard you were joining us this week, what is the special occasion?" Chakwas turns to walk with Liara to the elevator.

"No occasion, I just wanted to spend time with Shepard."

"That's nice. I bet she is thrilled to have you here."

Liara tries to ignore the words from the doctor, she has a job to do and she will not let feelings get in the way. "I am happy to be here," is the asari's reply.

"During dinner tonight perhaps we can catch up?"

"I would like that Karin."

"See you soon Liara."

Liara makes it to Shepard's quarters and finds her unpacking items from both of their suitcases. Shepard has been particularly quiet since their day of shopping. Liara suspects it is because of the mission ahead.

"I can do that Elly." Liara sees Shepard go a bit stiff at the sound of her voice.

"It's okay, I got it. I don't want you to lift stuff anyways."

Smiling, "I don't think lifting clothes from a suitcase and placing them into a drawer is hazardous to my health Shepard," she says as she nears the commander.

"Well when you put it that way," Shepard finishes with the unpacking. "I am done anyways. You need anything?"

"Are you leaving?"

"Yeah, I have some work to do."

Liara steps toward Shepard and wraps her arms around her hugging her. She can fill Shepard stiffen at the embrace, but then she relaxes a little.

"Are you okay Elly, you seem tense."

Pulling away from the hug, Shepard says, "I just have a lot on my mind is all. I will see you later okay?"

"Okay, Karin said something about catching up during dinner."

"Sounds good, I will meet you there," says Shepard without looking back she heads for the CIC.

* * *

"Joker, what's our status?"

"Good to go Captain."

"Let's go."

The Normandy leaves dock in Thessia and heads for the Mass Relay that will lead them to Earth to pick up her squad mates.

Shepard walks to the communication area and calls Spectre and Commander Ashley Williams.

"Hey Skipper."

"Hey Ash how are you doing?"

"Good. How about you?"

"Good, we just left Thessia, we should reach Earth in a few hours. Gotta get my squad then we will be ready to take over. Did you want to debrief me now or wait?"

"Might as well wait Skipper, there has been more activity today so we want to keep watching until you relieve us."

"Anything big happening?"

"Not yet no. They do know about the other three Cerberus locations we took out though because we bugged the place. Some of them are pretty paranoid, you should hear them."

"I can only imagine. I will call you when we are on our way from New York."

"Sounds good Skipper, hey did I hear right, Liara came with you? You talk to her then?"

"Uh yeah." Shepard doesn't want to get into it with Ashley right now so she doesn't tell her anything. "Yeah it's great having her here," she tries to smile when she talks.

"That's great Skipper, I told you. She loves you, you know, don't ever forget that."

"Yeah, I know Ash….thanks. I will call you after I pick up my squad."

"Sounds good."

* * *

Shepard spends the rest of the day avoiding Liara; by busying herself with routine work. She could be in her quarters reading the recon reports from Ashley, but she is finding it harder and harder to talk to Liara especially when she feels everything the asari says to her is a lie.

"Are you excited about the baby Captain?"

Shepard doesn't hear Specialist Samantha Traynor speaking to her.

"Captain?"

Shepard feels a hand on her shoulder and she jumps. "What?"

"I am sorry Captain. I was.."

"What is it Traynor?" she asks with a bite to her tone.

"I…I was just wondering Captain, if you were excited about the baby?"

"Huh, oh yes…yes of course, I am very excited. Sorry Traynor, I just…. I was a bit lost in thought."

"That is understandable."

"Did you have a nice week off?"

"I did thank you. How about you?"

_Not really, my bondmate is lying to my face, tracking down a man who kidnapped me and threatened her, she won't stop because she is too obsessed and she is using me just to get to New York so she can visit a convict. I'm GREAT! _"I did thank you."

"It is nice to see Liara again."

"Yeah, it's nice having her here. If you would excuse me," Shepard doesn't wait for a reply from the Specialist, she just walks off.

Shepard takes the elevator to her quarters hoping that Liara is not there. When the door opens with a swoosh, she enters and finds the place empty. Tears start to form again and Shepard steps into the bathroom to let them fall. She knew it would be hard to go along with Liara's deception, but this is beyond horrible. Shepard suspects everything Liara does now, every gesture, every touch, every concerning word, Shepard feels it is all lies. She feels they are motions the asari is going through to get what she wants. Liara is no longer trustworthy. Is Shepard making the right call by going along, by helping Liara get to New York? The interaction between the two feels forced. She can't keep her feelings from Liara too much longer it is killing her. But if she can just hold on, maybe Liara will find the information she so desperately seeks. Maybe things will get better once the asari visits the convict. Shepard knows it sounds ridiculous but what else can she do? She has come this far she only has to keep her resolve until they land in New York which is not long from now.

Taking deep breaths, wiping her tears, Shepard washes her face. Get through dinner and go to sleep, then she will be gone, this is what Shepard will focus on for the next few hours, get through dinner, go to sleep then she will gone and Shepard won't have to look at Liara anymore. That thought alone makes Shepard sick. She loves Liara, would do anything for her, but Liara doesn't understand why Shepard cannot help her find Kane. She has spent too much of her life living in the past, Liara showed her that, and now Liara is asking her to do just that, live in the past, capture Kane and make him suffer.

Liara clearly has forgotten how miserable she was on Illium, on her quest for revenge. Liara does not see how blinded she is right now and Shepard doesn't know if she has the strength to endure her lies much longer.

_She loves you Shepard and you love her. I hope I am doing the right thing by going along with this. _

Composing herself Shepard decides to stick to the plan of going along with Liara, get the asari what she needs. She will see Liara off when they land in New York to pick up her squad mates. She will do her job to the best of her ability and she will pick up Liara when she is ready. She hopes the lies can end soon because Shepard's resolve is slowly breaking.


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N Soooo I made a silly mistake, I included a character that I killed off a few chapters ago - ooopps! So I just fixed it. Thank you AkkuEnzeru for the heads up. Sorry about that._

* * *

Before the Normandy landed for New York to pick up her squad mates Shepard made two calls from her secure omni-tool. Her first call was to Lieutenant James Vega.

"Hello?"

"Hi James, its Shepard."

"Lola how the hell are ya? I heard congratulations are in order for making Captain, couldn't have happened to a better gal."

James always made the captain smile, "Thanks James, I don't have long to talk, sorry about the early hour."

Sensing the seriousness of her tone, "What's up, everything okay?"

"I can't get into it. I understand you start your leave today from N7 training?"

"That's right."

"I have a huge favor to ask, it would mean you have to stay in New York."

"I'm listening."

* * *

Shepard's second call was to Jack alerting her that Liara was leaving the Normandy soon and may be on her way to the prison and to watch for her. She also let Jack know that she asked for Vega's help and described him to Jack. He is not hard to spot. Shepard said that Jack probably wouldn't see him, but if she did see a man who had a buzz cut, tattoos and looked like a human tank then that would be him.

Extra precaution is what Shepard wanted because she had a feeling and she doesn't remember a time when one of her feelings has been wrong. So she asked James and Jack to help watch Liara. Neither James nor Jack asked for details as to why, they trusted Shepard, but both knew that such a favor was not easily asked, it was more out of desperation than anything. Shepard suspected her bondmate would be in terrible danger and she could not do anything about it, she was leaving the life of her wife and child into the hands of her former squad mates. James's job was to tail Liara wherever she went which would eventually lead him to Attica prison where Jack would be waiting. Jack would also follow Liara after she left the prison to ensure she remained safe after the visit. Both were ordered to do anything necessary to keep Liara safe. Shepard would use her Spectre status to be above the law if necessary, but she hoped it would not come to that.

* * *

Leaving the Normandy Liara noticed Shepard gave her an extra long hug. When she whispered "Be safe" in her ear and possessively patted her belly Liara suspected for maybe a second that perhaps Shepard knew where she was going, but she put the thought out of her mind. _How could she know, you are being paranoid Liara._

Liara arranged for a shuttle to take her to Attica Prison immediately after the Normandy landed. The ride was less than two hours, long enough for Liara to run over in her head just how she was going to get the information she needed from inmate Peter Jones.

It was hard to lie to Shepard at first, but Liara put it out of her mind, it was just a means to an end. She needed information and she would get it if it was the last thing she did. Shepard was quiet at dinner the night before, Liara did most of the talking when Dr. Chakwas asked about the house, about the pregnancy, Liara chalked it up to her being distracted due to work. Shepard has been that way before, so Liara did not suspect anything was wrong. Liara woke next to Shepard but did not fall asleep with her. She was hoping to spend some time with Shepard, be intimate perhaps, but it was not meant to be. She could feel it in her bones that she was getting closer to her goal, to find Kane and put an end to him once and for all.

* * *

Jen Alhe approaches Captain Shepard; she saw her and Liara in what looked like a goodbye before asking, "Hi Shepard, you have a nice week off?"

Shepard didn't hear Alhe talking to her as she watched the shuttle carrying Liara depart. She was fighting the heat behind her eyes. _Please be safe._

"Shepard?"

She feels a hand on her shoulder, "Hey Alhe, sorry about that. Did you say something?"

"Hi Shepard, you all right? Was that Liara?" she notices the captain looks drained.

"Huh, yeah." Shepard asks as the two walk toward the Normandy.

"She not staying on board?"

"She is taking in the sites Alhe," Shepard uses a tone that Alhe has learned means no more personal questions.

"You have a nice week?" asks Shepard.

"Yes. Probably a little too much fun."

"Oh really?"

"Well I mean not that kind of fun, just a headache for a couple of days."

"Ah huh, well I am glad you are in one piece Alhe."

"Me too."

"We plan on leaving in thirty."

"Yes Sir."

On their way to rendezvous with _Freedom_, Shepard finds herself in her quarters. She wants to call James or Jack to ask about their status, is Liara safe, but she knows better. They will call when they can. Shepard knows she needs to focus on her mission, but how hard can reconnaissance be, you just watch monitors all day right? She is not sure what this assignment fully entails, she will find out soon when she boards Williams' ship _Freedom_.

Walking to the shuttle bay as if on auto pilot Shepard enters the shuttle without her usual hello to Steve Cortez the pilot. He notices but says nothing. "Let's head out Cortez," says Shepard.

"Yes Sir."

* * *

Looking out the window while the shuttle flies over New York City, Liara is a bit grieved to see how little progress has been made to the city. Of course buildings have been rebuilt but with all of the research she has done about the city she was hoping for more marquee buildings, Broadway and the theater. The priority for most planets have been to get primary buildings such as hospitals, law enforcement, government agencies up and running before other buildings that provide arts, entertainment and such, the extra stuff people would spend their disposable income on. Liara makes a mental note to not visit this city with Shepard. She misses the cabin they rented which was more of a resort really, but they were so isolated it felt like a cabin. It was beautiful, peaceful and quiet; it was the place where they conceived their child. Of course it was also the location where she and Shepard were attacked and Shepard was taken from her. Liara almost lost Shepard and it is all because of Kane, the only man who had not been captured or killed, he was the man responsible for her kidnapping. Liara, lost in her thoughts did not hear the driver tell her they have arrived.

He gets out of the sky cab and opens the door for her; this brings her out of her thoughts. He smiles and he extends a hand to help her exit the vehicle. "Thank you," she says as she offers him a credit chit. He nods with a smile, gets back into the sky cab and flies away.

Looking at the prison it is bigger than she expected. She sees the door marked Visitors and starts walking.

* * *

"Yeah who the hell is this?" says Jack.

"Uhh, hey, this is Lieutenant James Vega, this Jack?"

"Hey, Shepard said you were joining the party."

"You see her?"

"Yep, just landed."

"I'm across the street, not sure if you can see me."

Jack looks for him remembering how Shepard described him. "Shit she wasn't kidding," Jack says out loud before realizing it.

"What?" asks James.

"Nothin. Yeah I see ya, fuck Vega, do you know how to blend in?"

"In fact I do," he does not really respond to her tone, he keeps his even. "She didn't spot me did she, bet you didn't either."

"Got me there, but now that I have, I can't not look ya know…..I mean….. _shit…_you know what I mean."

Laughing, "Yeah yeah. Shepard give you any information on what the hell Liara is doing here?"

"No, but it can't be good especially if she thinks she needs me AND you."

"Yeah, wish I knew more, but when Shepard says jump I say.."

"How high, yeah yeah keep your focus Vega."

"I'm gonna circle the block see if she picked up a tail, you look for that too?"

"Duh!"

"Okay okay sorry, call if you need me," says Vega as he walks out of sight of Jack's position.

* * *

"Hey Skipper, good to see you," says Ashley as Captain Shepard steps onto her ship _Freedom_.

"Hi Ash."

Ashley does not like what she sees when looking at Shepard. The captain looks tired when she should be energized ready to go, but Ashley senses a different type of tiredness not a physical one but an emotional one. "Have you eaten Shepard, we can grab a tray and head to my quarters."

"Not really hungry Ash," says Shepard.

"Well I'm hungry so I am grabbing something." Ashley goes through the mess hall while Shepard waits for her by the elevator, Shepard doesn't notice that Ashley is carrying two trays.

They make it into Ashley's quarters, when Ashley almost drops a tray she realizes the woman is carrying two of them. "Got it, geez Ash, you must be hungry, you okay?"

"Yep. I got that for you."

"What, why... I told..-"

"I know what you told me, but I don't believe you. You gonna tell me what is going on?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Skipper, you look like you lost your damn dog. Last time I checked you didn't have one, so what gives?" Ashley grabs two beers, hands one to Shepard.

"I can't get into it Ash. Can we just work please," she almost pleads not asks.

"I am eating first, so we can sit here in silence or you can talk to me," Ashley forks at her food and stuffs some into her mouth.

Letting out a heavy sigh Shepard pokes at her food and says, "Can you just trust me Ash, I cannot get into it right now, can you just not push me please?"

"Does this have something to do with Liara?" Once the question leaves her lips Ashley sees Shepard stiffen and stop as if frozen. She knows the answer.

Shepard resumes poking at her food and takes a bite without answering. Ashley chooses not to push at her request.

They finish their meal in silence, a silence shared between friends; there was nothing awkward about it, just a knowing understanding that something was wrong but Shepard was not ready to talk about it. Pushing her tray away, Shepard asks, "So you ready to brief me Commander?"

"Yes Captain." Ashley taps on her keyboard and the screen that dons one of the walls to her quarters lights up to display a blueprint of the house her team has been watching.

* * *

The visitor processing area was not big and there were not a lot of people waiting. Liara was sitting waiting to be taken in to see Peter Jones. She did not call ahead; she did not want to take the chance that somehow her visit would be found out by Kane. So she waits while Jones is tracked down, won't take long they told her, that was twenty minutes ago.

During her wait Liara notices two human men; big men come into the room. One looked her way, but did not hold eye contact for too long, the two men said something to each other that she did not hear. They say something to the guard behind the counter and each take a seat leaving a chair empty between the two.

"Clarissa T'Dolk?" a guard announces to the near empty room. Liara stands and approaches the guard. Liara, using an alias, a combination of two names of people she barely knows. The first name coming from Shepard's physiatrist's bondmate, the last name is from the doctor that treated Shepard's wounds she sustained during training with Valya the asari commando. Liara walks through the door then is stopped as a door comprised of bars opens. She walks through stops, the door closes before the next one opens. She is led to a big room filled with tables and chairs, guards are standing around the room against the wall, there are half a dozen inmates visiting with people. Scanning the room Liara sees him; he is the only one sitting alone.

She approaches the man. Peter Jones is of medium build, he definitely looks like he can take care of himself. Liara can see the definition in his arms as he waits for her to sit. His eyes are what catch her attention next, one is clearly fake, there is a scar that starts above his left eyebrow running straight down stopping on his cheek bone. She figures he lost his eye in some type of knife fight.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"I am someone you are going to give information to if you want to see your son alive again."

The man paled. He doesn't know any asari and he sure as hell doesn't know any pregnant asari. "That is not my kid," he says pointing to her stomach.

_Not too bright, Liara thinks to herself_. "Of course not. I am referring to your son Ryan.

"How the fuck you know about him, who the fuck are you?" A couple of guards look their way.

Liara notices the attention the man is drawing, "Keep your voice down. Who I am or how I know is not important. What is important is that you give me what I want."

She knows she has the desired effect since he is not responding. "I know everything there is to know about your son, where he goes to school, who his friends are, even the girlfriend he has yet to tell you about," she continued, she wants to scare him.

"Alright, what do you want to know," he asks keeping his voice down.

"I want to know how you get in touch with Kane." She is surprised at his response. She didn't think the man could get paler, but he did the minute she mentioned the name.

His eyes dart around the room as if looking for Kane himself to appear. "I don't know what you are talking about," he says, but anyone would be able to pick up that he is lying.

"Don't waste my time Mr. Jones. Give me what I want or your son is dead. It is your choice."

"I give you what you want and I'm dead," he says trying not to yell.

Liara waits. She knows the man will cave it is just a matter of time.

"I…I can't help you.. fuck you."

Keeping her cool, "Ryan is not the only person I know that is important to you Mr. Jones. Do I really need to spell it out for you?"

He cannot hide the fear on his face, Liara thinks to herself how easy it would be to play poker against the man. "What are you talking about?"

"Give me what I want Mr. Jones, I will not ask again."

"Don't you fuckin threaten my mother you piece of shit," he says through clenched teeth. "She never wanted me to be in a gang, she has nothing to do with any of this."

"Her living is completely up to you."

Liara can tell he is really torn. Kane must be a formidable man if Jones is willing to let his son and mother die.

"All I got is a number..okay," he says as he once again looks around the room.

"What kind of number?"

"Phone number dumb ass, shit."

"You can do better than that," presses Liara.

No reply.

Liara stands, "I hope you said what you wanted to say to your son and mother the last time they visited."

He reaches up half standing and grabs Liara's wrist, "Wait!" The guards look their way, one starts approaching. Jones quickly releases the asari's wrist and sits back down. Liara nods to the guard indicating she is okay. The guard returns to his post against the wall.

"I've only been to his place once and that was over ten years ago. I don't know if he still lives there," he says.

Relieved, though she doesn't show it, Liara cold as ever says, "Give me the number and the address."

"Take the fuckin number I know it works. I don't remember the address only the block." He sees the disappointed look on her face. "Hey fuck you man…..like I said it's been over ten years."

Liara makes a show of thinking about his answer. "Very well," she replies. She does not have her omni-tool with her, it was not allowed, but she commits the number and the address block to memory.

"So my family is safe then?"

"As long as this information checks out, you have nothing to worry about," with a slight nod, Liara stands and leaves the room to be escorted back to the visitor area.

* * *

"Four entry ways, I don't like it, there is too much chance for cross fire," says Shepard.

"Agreed," says Ash, "but we have to breach the house somewhere."

"What about the adjacent homes?" asks Shepard.

"What do you mean?"

"Anyone live in them? What if we could draw them out?"

Ashley moves the pictorial images to the adjacent homes but does not have enough information. "We haven't been watching those, so I can't display too much."

"And we have to keep this quiet? We can't just do in guns blazing?"

"Well, ideally no. Especially since this is a neighborhood, we want as less disruption as possible," say Ash.

"Why don't we keep watch on the target, but also expand our surveillance on the adjacent homes to see if maybe we can use them."

"I think that sounds good. Maybe you can come up with a better plan based on what you see."

"Sounds good Ash, you and your team do fine work."

"Thanks Shepard, that means a lot coming from you."

Standing Shepard says, "Okay then, you are relieved and we will take over. You have plans for your week off?" Walking towards the elevator Ashley has a smile on her face Shepard cannot miss. Shepard places her hand on Ash's forearm, "You visiting a certain someone Ashley?"

"You could say that."

"Do tell Commander."

"Oh I don't know, you won't talk to me I am not sure I should talk to you." Ashley sees Shepard's face has turned sour. "Too soon?"

"Too soon." Shepard knows Ashley is worried about her, but she is just not ready to talk yet.

"Okay, okay. I don't want to jinx it."

"Is he military?"

"Actually no."

"Really?" Shepard says raising her eyebrows.

"He is a civilian, an engineer."

"Nice Ash. Does he treat you right?"

"What?" Ashley looks to see if the captain is joking, she isn't. "Yes, so far, yes. He is a good man Shepard; I think you would like him."

"That's good Ash. I am happy for you," she says pushing the button to call the elevator. "How long you been seeing him?"

"A couple of months now. I think I may bring him home soon to meet my family."

"That is fantastic Ashley really; wow that is a big step. I am really happy for you." Before she can respond Shepard is hugging Ashley. "I hope I get to meet him sometime too."

"That would be great Skipper."

"What's his name?"

"Tyler, Tyler Ross."

Stepping onto the elevator, "Hmmm, Commander Ashley Ross."

Slapping her arm, "Skipper!"

Raising her hands as if surrounding, Shepard laughs, "Just kidding."

"I miss hearing that."

"What?"

"Your laugh," says Ash.

Shepard shoots her a look.

"Too soon?" asks Ash.

"Too soon."

* * *

"You got her?" asks Jack as she gets in position behind Liara watching her come out of the Visitor door of the prison."

"Got her."

"You see anyone on your walk-a-bout?" asks Jack.

"Possibly, two men," says James.

Liara is walking down the sidewalk entering information into her omni-tool; she does not take a cab. Crossing the street she heads towards James' position.

"Shit I see them," says Jack. "They are coming quick Vega, two…..SHIT make that four men, got two more trailing that."

James has his back turned to Liara as if looking in a shop window; she doesn't even notice him when she passes him. James sees a car drive up quickly while two men close on the asari.

James quickly steps in the way and clocks one man across the nose; he is on the second man before the first one falls unconscious. Jack is crossing the street, she throws a shockwave at the two other men, and they fly back crashing through the shop window.

Liara it as the corner, she turns to see the commotion. Two men come up behind her while the car screeches to a halt, door flying open.

"NO!" yells Jack and her biotics flare and fire at the two additional men that were trailing behind the ones she just threw through a window.

She sees the two men from the corner on Liara fly back, one into the building the other into traffic getting hit by a speeding car. Liara is enveloped in her own biotics defending herself.

James runs toward the asari, Jack on his heels. A man emerges from the car pointing something at Liara, James draws his pistol but he is too late. Liara is hit with something, but what is not known. The man reaches for her to grab her, to pull her into the car; Jack sends a throw his way. He is knocked away from the asari but Liara is also caught in the biotic blow and tumbles into the street. The car races away while James shoots at it.

Jack keeps running toward Liara, she is not moving, she is in the street, thankfully cars have stopped.

"Vega!" Jack yells as she reaches Liara.

The car gets away, James looks to see where the other men are, all are unconscious or dead. She joins Jack by Liara's side.

Afraid to touch her Jack bends down, "Liara, Liara can you hear me?"

"How is she?" asks James as he crouches next to Liara to feel for a pulse.

"I don't know….." says Jack. Jack is frozen she doesn't know what to do, she has failed Shepard, her only true friend, all she can think about is how she failed her.

James finds a pulse but Liara is unconscious.

"Don't move her!" yells Jack.

"What? I have to, I have to see what hit her," says James, "Help me Jack. Watch her head; don't let her neck move when I moved her to her back. You ready….JACK!"

"Yeah, shit, ready." _Keep your shit together Jack, she thinks to herself._

On three they turn Liara to her back. James finds a small dart near her collarbone and removes it, "Here we go."

"What is it?"

"A tranquilizer, just like the ones used before."

"Before what?" asks Jack.

James looks at her, by the look on her face; he knows Shepard must not have filled Jack in on everything, that Jack doesn't know about the kidnapping. "We need to get her to a hospital."

"NO! What if it's not safe, we should call Shepard, she can see Dr. Chakwas on the Normandy," says Jack.

"How do we move her then if we are not supposed to move her?" asks James.

"Fuck if I know!"

Groaning, Liara shifts a little. "Hey hey Liara, can you hear me?" asks James.

No response.

"I hear sirens James, what the fuck do we do?" asks Jack, she can't sit still she is pacing keeping the people away from them. "What is with these fuckin gawkers?"

"Calm down Jack, she's gonna be okay. I think we go with her to the hospital then we bring her back to the ship when she gets the clear from the docs their, it's the only way to be sure she is okay. We gotta think of the baby."

"Yeah, yeah okay….that sounds good."

"Okay, we got this Jack… nice to meet you by the way."

Jack looks at him incredulously, "You fuckin kidding me right now!"

"Easy easy, just trying to lighten the mood is all."

The emergency vehicles arrive. They load Liara in, James and Jack insist on entering the vehicle, which they allow after Jack threw a few expletives of what would happen to them and their families if they were not allowed to accompany the asari.

"We gotta call Shepard," says Jack. She doesn't want to do it because she feels it is her fault Liara is injured, she was caught in Jacks biotic throw.

"Let's wait until we know what's what," says James.

Jack is relieved to hear his opinion.

Looking over at the strong tattooed woman, James says "Hey, she is going to all right Jack. We did the best we could, we kept her safe."

_Bullshit, Jack thinks to herself._


	17. Chapter 17

Shepard steps out of the shuttle onto the Normandy hoping to get some rack time.

"Captain!"

"What is it Joker."

"Councilor Tevos needs to speak to you, she said it was urgent."

"Thanks," she says as she tries to hide a yawn.

"Hey Shepard," says Cortez.

"What is it?" she says turning toward him.

"Looks like you could use some sleep."

"Well you know what they say," as she turns toward the elevator, "no rest for the wicked."

Cortez stops her with his hand, "Hey." She turns to look at him. "I remember when you came down here and told me not to push myself so hard, I'm just returning the favor, you need sleep Captain."

Shepard gives him a small smile, "Thanks Steve, I will when I can believe me."

Shepard steps into the elevator. Her omni-tool beeps while she makes her way to the comm room. She sees it is from James.

"James, what's going on?"

"She's okay, the baby's okay, we are at the hospital."

"What? Why is it Jack?"

"No no, nothing like that. Liara was shot with a tranquilizer, just like the ones used on the two of you before."

Shepard is pacing now, "You sure she is okay?"

"Yes, the doctor is checking on her again. It will probably be awhile before she wakes up. She has a few cuts and bruises from where she fell."

"Okay, hold on, tell me everything."

"Ahh, Captain, Councilor Tevos needs to speak with you," says Joker.

"Son of a bitch Joker she can wait!"

A little stunned, Joker replies quietly, "Aye Captain."

"Lola, you okay?" asks James.

"Kind of beyond okay at the moment James. Look I need to go. Are you sure Liara and the baby are okay?"

"Yes."

"And you and Jack are okay?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I will call you in a minute; I have to take a call. And James….thanks."

"Anytime."

* * *

Shepard takes deep breaths to calm her nerves before calling the Councilor. _What the hell could she want, now of all times._

Shepard hits the button and a shimmering image of Councilor Tevos appears. "Councilor Tevos, what can I do for you?"

"Hello Shepard, thank you for taking my call. I heard about what happened to Dr. T'Soni, I am sorry."

The statement throws Shepard, how could the Councilor know about what a happened to Liara. Unless….

"How long Councilor?" Shepard asks stiffening her already straight posture.

"Excuse me?"

"How long has Kane been working for the Council?"

It is the only thing that makes sense of course. How else would the Councilor know about what happened to Liara? Kane must be the person giving them Cerberus cell information. Shepard continues, "I don't think you are following me or Dr. T'Soni Councilor, so how long?"

"A few months."

Shepard keeps her posture not revealing the fact that she wants to scream. "I didn't realize kidnapping me allowed access to the Council." Shepard cannot hide her biting tone.

"I know how this must look Captain..-"

Shepard interrupts, "Let me guess, you formed your partnership with him after I gave you Squid?"

"That is correct. Nathan Bender, or Squid as you know him, told us that Kane had information on Cerberus movements. So we arranged a meeting with him."

"And he has been feeding you information ever since." Shepard finishes the asari's thought.

"That is correct. We cannot let Cerberus get a foothold, I am sure you understand this Shepard."

"Except you did not count on him using the Council resources to dwindle Cerberus numbers while his numbers increase…right?" Her hands are balled into fists because she is so angry they are shaking.

"You are correct again Shepard."

"Annndd now, you need my help to get him under control..how am I doing?"

"I understand how you must feel.."

"DON'T. Don't you dare Councilor stand there and play me. You have no idea how I feel. You made a pact with the devil and now you want me to clean up your mess, that about right?"

Tevos shifts a little in her posture, "The Council only agreed to work with Kane because of the information he provided. Now that he is a bigger threat, he must be dealt with. At the time we thought it best to work with him because Cerberus was hindering the rebuilding effort which is not good for anyone."

Shepard has had enough, "I am still waiting to hear what you want me to do."

"We need you to take care of him. We know where he is, he should not be hard to find."

"I'm afraid you need to be more specific," says Shepard.

"We leave it to your discretion Captain on whether you bring him in or not, is that clear enough?"

"I need to leave this assignment."

"Of course. So you will do it then?"

Shepard knows she doesn't have a choice. "I will contact you when I have him."

"Thank you Shepard."

"One more thing Councilor Tevos."

"Yes?"

"You will give me what I need and when I need it. Kane has many followers. Even with him out of the picture there will be others to take his place. If I need to move or increase security to my home for my family, you are paying for it." It was not a request but a demand.

"I am sure we can come to an agreement," says Tevos.

Before pleasant goodbyes can be said Shepard slaps the button to disconnect the call.

* * *

Shepard didn't hear anyone talking to her as she made her way to her quarters. She wanted to be alone; she didn't want anyone to see her. Once the door closes she screams. Turning to the wall she hits with all her might over and over and over. The few ships models that decorate her office are thrown against the wall, shattered to pieces. Everything is not what it is supposed to be.

Liara is supposed to be the love of her life, the mother of her child, but she has turned cold and only lives for revenge. The Council, though always looking out for themselves, utterly betrayed her, how could they get into bed with the man who kidnapped her? How could they ask her to clean up their mess? What the fuck is she supposed to do now? She is trying to move on, forget what happened to her but it just gets thrown in her face whereever she turns.

She wants to run, to hide to rock herself to sleep saying over and over it's gonna be alright. She wants to be held to be reassured but who is going to do that? Liara is lying in a hospital room unconscious..

Liara…

Why…why didn't you listen Liara? Shepard exhausted from punching the wall slumps to the floor wrapping her arms around herself because there is no one there to hold her. She so wants to let go, but her wife and now the Council won't let her. She knows she has to face Kane, what he did, she just doesn't know if she can survive it.

These are Shepard's last thoughts as she drifts to sleep cuddled within herself on the floor.

* * *

"So when is Shepard coming?" Jack asks James as they stand outside of Liara's hospital room.

"Don't know, she said she had to take a call."

"When was that?"

"About two hours ago," says James. "Something seems off.

"Yeah no shit. I can't help but feel like sitting ducks here," says Jack. "I think we should move her."

"Where to?" asks James."

"Fuck if I know! But we have to do something." Jack is pacing.

"Let me try Shepard again," says James as he dials his omni-tool.

A doctor approaches the room. Jack does not like the look of him, but she doesn't much like the look of anyone in this place. Holding up her hand to stop him, "What's up Doc?"

He doesn't look her in the eye, "Here to check her vitals do you mind?"

Jack doesn't like the man; she thinks he is hiding something. James is across the hall trying to reach Shepard, Jack steps in front of the doctor. His move was swift Jack feels a sharp pain in her side as he moves past her into Liara's room. Jack a bit dazed moves her hand to her side, it comes away in crimson blood. "James!" she yells. Jack stumbles into the room, the man is over Liara, Jack throws a stasis field on him to freeze him in place.

James enters pistol drawn, he sees a man in a stasis field. He quickly approaches and sees a bloody scalpel in his hand raised towards Liara's throat. He cold cocks the man who slumps immediately to the ground unconscious. Grabbing a zip tie from a pocket he moves the man to his stomach and binds his hands behind his back. "Shit..that was close." He looks at Jack, she is pale, his eyes roam to her side which is dripping blood. "Jack?"

Jack seems to be stuck in place. James moves to her and sits her down. He rips part of Liara's bed sheet and places pressure on Jack's wound. "Jack, can you hear me?" Checking his pockets he finds a small tube of medigel and applies it. "Jack?"

In a sleepy voice Jack asks, "What did Shepard say?"

"What? I didn't get a hold of her. Shit Jack this is deep, you need stitches."

"Chakwas," is all Jack can whisper her head falling back into the chair.

"Hang on Jack, you hang on."

James checks the hallway to see if there is an additional threat, he doesn't see anything out of the ordinary. He dials his omni-tool.

"Hey James how's it hanging?" asks Joker.

"Joker, I need you to bring the Normandy to my location."

"What? I can't do that, Shepard.-"

"I can't reach Shepard, where is she?"

"She is on board somewhere, her quarters I think, hang on."

Joker calls for Captain Shepard over the Normandy intercom, but she does not reply.

"Alhe get up here please," says Joker.

"Sit tight James, we are tracking her down."

"Joker there is no time. Liara is in danger and we need the Normandy now!" says James.

"I can't just move the ship without orders James."

"What's up Joker?" asks Alhe.

"You seen the Captain?"

"Last I saw her I think she was heading to her quarters."

"Find her we may have a situation." Joker can hear James yelling at him. Joker fires up the engines.

"What are you doing Joker?" asks Alhe.

"We are leaving…. James we are on the way. Alhe please go find Shepard."

Dr. Chakwas approaches the helm to find Joker and Alhe, "What's going on?"

"Doctor please come with me, we need to find Shepard," says Alhe. As they quickly move to the elevator Alhe continues, "Joker has decided to move the Normandy without orders."

"But why ?" asks Chakwas.

"No idea, I just work here," says Alhe as they both enter the elevator. "Shepard didn't respond to Joker's hail so now we need to find her. She didn't look too good when I saw her before we left, have you spoken to her?"

"No, I am afraid I have not talked to her yet."

They exit the elevator to find the door to Shepard's quarters is locked. "Joker," says Alhe, "Can you override the lock on her quarters please?"

"Done."

The door opens and they find Shepard on the floor bleeding.

* * *

"Jack…hey..hey open your eyes you need to keep them open," says James. He is not sure what to do, the bleeding has stopped but just as Jack said, he feels like a sitting duck. He checks the hallway again and recognizes a nurse that worked on Liara. "Hey, over here." He frantically waves for her to enter.

The human woman enters the room and is a bit scared at what she sees, a man on the floor with his hands bound behind his back and a woman half passed out in a chair. "Wh..wh..what's going on?"

"I need you to check my friend here, please help her. We were just attacked and I need to get these two out of here."

She is not sure what to make of the large man, but she does know of Dr. T'Soni, she figures he is protecting her so he must be a good guy. She crouches down to check Jack's wound. "She needs stitches; she has lost a lot of blood. She may need a transfusion."

"We can't do that right now, can you stitch her up?" asks James in a quiet voice as he keeps his eyes trained on the hallway.

"Me noooo. I d-"

"Hey look. I know you are scared, this doesn't look good. But I need you to help my friend okay, can you do that for me please?"

"I..I..Yes. I need to get the proper supplies."

"Okay, go get what you need, but please hurry," he grabs her arm before she steps out of the room "don't tell anyone what you are doing okay."

"Why?"

He doesn't want to scare her more than she already is but he doesn't think he has a choice. "Look, what's your name?"

"Samantha."

"Okay Samantha that is a pretty name. Someone is trying to kill Dr. T'Soni. I need to move her and in order to do that; I need you to help my friend okay, so you cannot tell anyone what you are doing, okay?"

Nodding her head Samantha leaves the room to get the necessary supplies.

* * *

"Shepard can you hear me?" asks Dr. Chakwas as she crouches next to her to check for a pulse.

"Why is there blood on the walls?" asks Alhe.

Shepard starts to stir. Her face shows remnants of old tears, her hair is matted and her hands are bleeding. "Shepard, it's Dr. Chakwas, can you get up?"

Shepard blinks a few times to get her bearings. She slowly sits up with the help of the doctor. "Alhe, would you leave us please," says Chakwas.

Alhe looks at Shepard's hands and the state she is in and realizes that the blood on the wall came from her. She leaves the doctor alone with her Captain. "Of course."

"Shepard, look at me," says Chakwas as she checks Shepard's eyes with her pen light.

"What's going on?" asks a ragged Shepard.

"I was going to ask you the same thing. We need to get you to Medbay. Can you stand?"

Shepard allows herself to be helped up, she stumbles a bit but the doctor steadies her. "You look exhausted Shepard, what happened here?"

Shepard leaning heavily on the doctor feels like she is full of lead. Her head is spinning, she just wants to sleep. "Don't know," is all she can say.

The doctor helps Shepard walk out of her quarters to the elevator. "Joker is moving the Normandy to New York Shepard."

"Okay."

The doctor knows Shepard is not really hearing her. They reach the Medbay; an assistant helps her get Shepard onto a bed. Shepard is out. Chakwas scans the Captain and finds broken bones in both hands.

"She okay?" asks Alhe, the doctor didn't notice she was in the room.

"She is just exhausted, she will be fine. Do you know why Joker is flying to New York?' asks Chakwas.

"I don't, but I am going to find out. You sure she is going to be alright?"

"Yes, I have seen her like this before. She just needs sleep."

Relieved, Alhe makes her way to the helm to find out what Joker knows.

* * *

"I got them," says Samantha as she enters Liara's room and crouches to tend to Jack's wound. Jack is unconscious now; she could not keep her eyes open.

"Thanks for your help Samantha," says James as he checks the hallway. He dials his omni-tool.

"Joker what is your ETA?"

"About thirty minutes, what is going on?" Alhe is standing next to Joker listening in.

"Someone is trying to kill Liara; she is the hospital right now."

"What, does Shepard know?" asks Joker.

"Yes Joker, she asked for my help and Jack's too."

"Jack is with you?"

"Yes Joker will you let me talk!" James looks over at Samantha with an apologetic look at his tone.

"Sorry, go ahead."

"Liara is fine, the baby is fine but she is still unconscious. Someone just tried to kill her and Jack got hurt, so I am holed up in Liara's room making sure no one else is coming. I am gonna need help getting them to the Normandy."

While James was talking Joker showed a data pad to Jen Alhe on Lieutenant James Vega so she knew who he was talking to.

"Lieutenant, this is Ensign Jen Alhe of the Normandy, I can help you get them out of there."

"Hello Ensign sounds good."

"What room are you in?"

"312. I have a nurse with me now, she is patching up Jack. She says she may need a transfusion, but we can't take the time to do it here."

"I'll alert Dr. Chakwas that her Medbay will be busy. Shepard is there now," says Alhe.

"What why?" asks James.

"Not sure, looks like exhaustion. The doctor said she has seen it before, says she will be fine after sleeping."

"We are twenty minutes out Vega," says Joker.

"I will contact you LT when we are approaching your room," says Alhe.

"Sounds good, thanks."

James is relieved, though he still feels they are in a vulnerable situation he feels better knowing help is not too far away. He looks over at the nurse.

"How she doing?"

"Well, the wound is deep, the medigel helped, but the stitches were definitely needed. I do think she needs blood though, I don't like her pressure," says the nurse.

"We will get what she needs soon," says James.

"Do you need me to stay?" Samantha asks trying not to sound too scared.

"Can you please, just in case?"

"I may be missed, would that be bad?"

"Yeah…yeah good point." He really looks at her now. Beautiful long blonde hair pulled into a pony tail, slender, in a different time he would definitely ask her out. "I think you are right. You go back to your normal duties, we should be fine here."

She smiles at him, "Okay."

"Hey Samantha…thanks."

The nurse leaves the room while James keeps watch.

* * *

It wasn't much longer; the Normandy sent a shuttle filled with Alhe, Nicols, Langer and Bering. James carried Liara while Bering carried Jack to the shuttle. If there was anyone in the crowd that wanted to do harm to Liara, the group did not encounter them. The shuttle returned to the Normandy without incident.

James sets Liara down where Dr. Chakwas points, she points Bering to put Jack toward the back of the room. Chakwas and her assistant work quickly to get Jack her needed transfusion.

Not sure where to go Alhe told Joker to fly to the New York Alliance base. Alhe, the next highest ranking officer, is in charge of the Normandy until Shepard is cleared by the doctor.

James watches the doctor work on Jack as he stands next to Shepard's bed. Seeing her hands bandaged, he leans down to whisper "Hey Lola, Liara is safe, the baby is safe, all is good." He places his hand on her shoulder, she does not stir. James walks out of the Medbay to sit in the mess hall and wait.

* * *

"LT?" James looks up to see a human woman. "I'm Ensign Jen Alhe, nice to meet you." He shakes her extended hand.

"Nice to meet you, thanks for the help."

"If you don't mind me saying you look like shit."

James laughs. "Yeah..yeah."

"So what the hell is going on?" asks Alhe.

"That is information you need to get from your Captain."

"Fair enough. So who is that woman?"

"You mean Jack?"

Alhe nods.

"She is a former squad mate of Shepard's. She helped take out the Collectors."

"No shit?" asks Alhe eyes wide.

"No shit. Hey, you got a place where I can bunk?"

"Yeah of course. I will let you know when Shepard wakes."

James looks at her about to say something; Alhe amends what she said, "I'll let you know when _any_ of them wake."

"Appreciate it."

After a nice hot shower James gets as comfortable as he can in his bunk. He is happy to be back on the Normandy. As he runs through the events of the last hours he wonders what Liara was up to. What could she be doing that would put her life in danger? Seeing Shepard sleep in the Medbay she didn't look at peace at all, she looked conflicted. It scared him a little to see her like that. Whatever the asari was up to, he hoped it would be okay. And Jack..boy ..James is not sure what to think of her. Tough on the outside sure, but the way she cared for Liara she definitely has a soft side, just doesn't like to show it. And obviously Shepard trusts her; I mean she did help her take down the Collectors so she is good in his book. He wonders what he could have done to help her, to prevent her from getting hurt.

As he drifts to sleep he hopes Shepard will allow him to help eliminate the threat to Liara, it is the least he can do for the savior of the galaxy.


	18. Chapter 18

Opening her eyes blinking back the bright lights, Shepard slowly sits up to take in her surroundings. She feels a hand on her shoulder as she rubs at her eyes.

"Welcome back Captain," it was Chakwas.

Looking at the human woman Shepard asks, "How long have I been here?"

"About ten hours."

Looking down at her bandaged hands Shepard tries to remember what happened. She looks up at the doctor for answers.

"By the looks of it you fought the wall, I am not sure who won however," the doctor gave a sad smile.

"I feel like death warmed over," says Shepard as she rubs at her face again.

"You were exhausted Captain, your body needed the rest. We are not alone in here."

Shepard looks up to the doctor with a questioning look. Moving her eyes around the room she sees Liara on a med bed. Putting her hand on the doctor's shoulder, Shepard stands to test her legs. A bit sore, but okay she slowly approaches the sleeping asari.

"How did she get here is she okay?"

"Yes, James is outside he can fill you in; I actually don't know all of the details."

"The baby?"

"Is fine, she was shot with a tranquilizer, the same one that was used on the two of you before. She will probably sleep for another six to eight hours."

Shepard wants to touch Liara, hold her hand kiss her brow, but she can't. Physically she may have gotten the rest she needed but emotionally she doesn't remember feeling so drained. If she touches Liara she doesn't trust that she can hold herself together. She is looking down at the woman she loves, the future mother of her child, but there is something she no longer recognizes in the asari. Liara's lust for revenge has resulted in her being in the bed lying unconscious all because she couldn't let go.

Though not happy with being lied to and manipulated by her bondmate to get to Earth in order to visit a prison inmate, Shepard can deal with that, a part of her can understand it. But Liara put her child in danger, which is not okay.

Dr. Chakwas notices that Shepard is keeping her distance from the asari. "It's okay Shepard, you can touch her."

Hearing the doctor's voice, Shepard blinks back the tears that want to form. "Jack and James?"

"James I suspect is outside, Jack was injured but she is fine. I released her earlier this morning."

"Where are we?"

"We are docked at Alliance HQ in New York."

Shepard looks at the doctor, "What? Why?"

"Ensign Alhe was not sure where to dock the Normandy. We could not wake you. James needed help so we went to New York to get him, Jack and Liara."

"Okay," Shepard turns to leave the Medbay, "thanks Doc."Before the doctor can ask any more questions, the captain is through the door.

* * *

Shepard finds James right where Chakwas said he would be, "James," says Shepard as she approaches him.

Standing he extends a hand and is a bit surprised that she is closing in for a hug.

"Thank you James," she says as she hugs the large muscled man. "Thank you."

"Hey..no problem Captain."

Shepard breaks from the hug, "Where's Jack?"

"Bout time you woke up," says Jack. Shepard steps toward her, she holds up her hands, "Don't even think about it," Jack does not want a hug.

Shepard gives her best smile then sees Jack's bandage over her torso. "What happened?"

"Ah, it's nothing," says Jack as she sits across from James at the mess hall table.

Shepard sits, "Doesn't look like nothing. You two care to fill me in?"

The pair gave Shepard the play by play on what happened outside of the prison and what happened at the hospital. Jack was a bit tentative when she told Shepard about Liara getting caught in her biotic throw.

"Jack, it is not your fault that she got hurt, so put it out of your mind do you hear me." Shepard was stern; she knows how hard Jack is on herself. "If it weren't for the two of you she would not be here safe and sound, she would be who knows where. I..I can't thank you two enough."

"You gonna tell us what she was doing there?" asks James.

"I am, but I need to eat first. I have orders and I will brief everyone at the same time."

"I'd like to stay on and help," says James.

"Count me in," says Jack.

Shepard looks at the pair, she smiles and nods as she makes her way to food.

* * *

After a shower and a change of clothes Shepard felt pretty good. She filled in the crew about their new mission to find and bring in Kane. She is now meeting with her squad to give them further details.

Gathered in the shuttle bay away from unnecessary ears, Shepard briefs her squad.

"Listen up. What I am about to tell you is classified and cannot leave this room, is that understood?"

Her squad along with James and Jack nod.

Shepard fills in her squad mates about Kane, about how he was the mastermind behind her kidnapping. Her kidnapping was never made public, outside of James who was there; everyone listening has a hard time hiding the shocked look on their faces. Shepard explains how Kane has been feeding the Council information on the Cerberus cells, but he is growing too strong now and they need to put a stop to it. Shepard sends Bering and Nicols to watch the address she received from Councilor Tevos, to report in after two hours. She dismisses her squad but asks James and Jack to remain.

"Jack you sure you are okay?" asks Shepard as she points to the human woman's injury.

"I said I'm good to go Shepard," snarls Jack.

"Okay. I have a strange request for the two of you and I need you to do it without questions, can you do that for me?"

They look at each other wondering what this could be about, but they trust Shepard, so they both nod in agreement.

* * *

It is early afternoon when Shepard hears back from Bering and Nicols.

"There is one man in the house Captain, sending a photo now," says Bering.

Shepard sees the photo and cannot believe her eyes, "Son of a …that's him..that's Kane."

"I thought you didn't know what he looked like," asks Alhe who is standing nearby.

Shepard replies, "I wasn't sure until now." She asks Bering, "No one else is in the house?"

"No Captain."

"How long has he been there alone?"

"About thirty minutes."

"Okay, you two sit tight, we will be joining you shortly, contact me if he leaves or has any visitors."

"Yes Captain."

Shepard steps away from the CIC and dials her secure omni-tool.

"Hey Jack its Shepard, you have everything set up?"

"This is sick shit Shepard even for you."

Getting frustrated, "Is it set up or not?"

"Yeah everything is set. You sure you want to do this?"

"Not really," says Shepard. "The rest of us are moving out. We may take him tonight. You two finish up what you are doing and get to the rendezvous point."

"Got it," says Jack.

* * *

Shepard steps into the Medbay before she leaves the Normandy. "Any change Doc?"

"She should wake up soon Shepard, do you really need to leave?" asks Chakwas. She is not sure what is going on between the couple but she knows it is not good. She can see how torn Shepard is, that it is hard to be in the same room with the asari.

"Duty calls Doc. we may be out for awhile. I think these can come off." Shepard gestures to her bandaged hands.

The doctor takes off the bandages and runs a quick scan. "The bones are healed though I would not recommend beating your wall anytime soon."

"Yeah, I know I know…it was stupid. Can't say it won't happen again," she says with her sly grin. Shepard looks over at Liara, turns to the doctor, "Take of them Karin."

"You know I will Shepard."

* * *

Situated in a house across from Kane's Shepard and the rest of her squad arrive at different times to join Bering and Nicols. Kane has remained alone in the house, he has been seen reading, eating, napping even, right now he is watching a vid.

Shepard wants to take him tonight, but a part of her thinks they should watch him longer. She has no idea what he does at night, if he conducts meetings at his house, if perhaps more people will show up. She wants to put an end to this, but she doesn't want to get sloppy.

* * *

"Elly?"

Doctor Chakwas approaches Liara, "Liara, it's Karin Chakwas, can you hear me?"

"Karin?" Liara opens her eyes.

"You are on the Normandy Liara, do you remember what happened?"

"The Normandy?" Liara tries to jog her memory, how on earth did she get on the Normandy. She remembers visiting inmate Peter Jones, she remembers leaving the prison but then things get a bit fuzzy. She sits up with the doctors help.

"Here have some water," says the doctor.

Liara takes a few sips. Seeing the bandages on both of her arms Liara asks, "The baby?"

"The baby is fine Liara. You took quite a spill in the street; you protected your stomach which is why your arms are so banged up. Nothing is broken, you should be fine."

"How long have I been sleeping?"

"Awhile. Apparently you were shot with a tranquilizer, the same one used on you and Shepard before."

This triggers Liara's memory. "Goddess, James and Jack were there," she says.

"Yes, they stopped the men who were trying to take you."

"But how did they know I would be….." Liara comes to the realization that her cunning was not so cunning after all. Shepard must have known all along what Liara had planned which is why she sent James and Jack to look out for her.

Chakwas places a hand on her shoulder. "What have I done?" asks Liara. Fighting the tears she looks at the doctor, "Where is Elly?"

"She is on a mission Liara; she said they could be out for a few days."

Her heart sinks at this news. Liara wants to desperately talk to Elly to explain to her why she lied to her; explain why she needs to find Kane. "Is there any way I can get in touch with her?"

"I don't know Liara."

"How long has she been gone?"

"A few hours now."

Liara scoots off the table with the help of the doctor. "Careful Liara, you will be weak for awhile. This is the same tranquilizer used on you and the Captain when she was kidnapped remember?"

"Captain?" Liara looks at Chakwas confused.

"Well yes, she was promoted last week, didn't she…" By the look on Liara's face it was clear that Shepard did not tell Liara that she was promoted.

"I suppose I really didn't give her a chance," says Liara. She cannot really walk yet, the doctor is right, she is very weak. Tears start falling and Chakwas helps her back onto the med bed. The doctor holds Liara as she weeps.

When she calmed down a bit Liara told Dr. Chakwas everything. How she spent a week researching the inmate Peter Jones in order to find a connection to Kane, how she practically ignored Shepard until two days before she had to leave. She explained how she lied to Shepard to get onto the Normandy in order to get to New York to visit the inmate. How she threatened him in order to get information on Kane. Between her sobs she explained how she had to make Kane suffer for what he did to Elly, for what he did to her.

Dr. Chakwas could not believe her ears; she was not sure what to do. She feels immense loyalty to Shepard, to hear how Liara lied and manipulated her she wanted to say something. But to see the asari in her grief, barley able to speak through her sobs, the doctor's heart broke for her. She knows the pain Liara has suffered.

* * *

"Hey Shepard, do you have a minute?" asks Alhe.

The squad is observing Kane from across the street. The house they are in has multiple rooms, Alhe signals to Shepard to step into an adjacent room for privacy.

"What's up?" asks Shepard after Alhe closes the door.

"I ….am not sure how to ask this," says Alhe.

Furrowing her brows Shepard wonders what this is about. She says nothing waiting for the Ensign to form her thoughts.

"I was with Dr. Chakwas when we found you in your quarters."

Shepard does not remember Alhe and does not assume where she is going with this. "Okay, speak your mind Alhe."

"Well..I saw the blood on the walls and well to see you on the floor like that… it's a bit concerning."

Shepard is not helping her get it out, she waits.

"I just want to make sure you are okay..I'm sorry to ask."

Smiling at her Shepard says, "No need to apologize Alhe." Taking a deep breath she continues, "I have not had the best of days…I was …exhausted and stupid to be honest. I took my frustrations out on a wall. Not the smartest thing I have ever done that's for sure. I am not sure what more I can say."

"I appreciate your frankness Captain…are you..?"

"If you are asking if I am okay, the answer is yes. I can perform my job as required. If you are concerned that I cannot..-"

"No no, I just…well Captain you are a hard woman to get to know. I just wanted to make sure you were ..I mean you are okay."

"I am, and Alhe.. thanks for taking over and getting the Normandy to HQ," says Shepard.

"Sure thing Shepard."

Before leaving the room Shepard places a hand on Alhe's shoulder, "Thanks Alhe, don't ever be afraid to come talk to me okay. If you feel I cannot perform as Captain you need to relieve me, you understand?"

"Yes Captain."

"Do you want to relieve me Ensign Alhe?"

"No Captain..I don't believe that is necessary."

"Okay then."

Shepard and Alhe rejoin Bering and the other squad mates.

"Hey everyone gather 'round," says Shepard. Bering, Langer, Nicols, Alhe and Jack listen to Shepard as she explains the plan for grabbing Kane. She informs them that James is already in position to lend support if needed. His job is to look for stragglers, any men that may come in the home after the team enters. In and out, grab the man search the house and leave. "We move in one hour."

* * *

Liara slept for a few more hours after pouring her heart out to Dr. Chakwas. Stronger now, she is able to walk around the Normandy. She is worried. She desperately wants to talk to Elly to try to explain to her why she did what she did. She hopes her bondmate can find it in her heart to forgive her for lying to her and manipulating her. She has to understand, she has to. But why would she?

Liara did not understand why Shepard wanted to let it go. That Shepard wanted to move on and leave Kane in the wind. No, Liara would not let go and now she put herself, her unborn child and her friends in danger. If it weren't for James and Jack she would be who knows where probably begging for her life. Liara still cannot believe that Shepard knew, this whole time she knew what Liara was up to.

_How will she ever forgive me, what have I done?_ Liara thinks to herself.

* * *

Close to midnight.

"We all set?" asks Shepard.

Everyone gives a nod. Shepard already checked in with James he is ready and in position.

"Okay, we do this by the book, we take him alive. If you have to shoot him, go for the legs you got me?"

"Yes Sir," says the group.

"Move out."

Shepard and Jack take the front door, Alhe and Nicols have the side door, Bering and Langer the back door. Kane's house is comprised of three levels. His last known position within the house was his bedroom on the third floor. Their surveillance showed no other people in the home.

"3..2..1…mark" says Shepard. They all enter their doors at the same time very quietly. They do not want to tip Kane off.

Once inside Shepard and Jack are the first up the stairs while Alhe and Nicols clear the first floor. Bering and Langer follow them up the stairs to clear the second floor. Stopping as they reach the third floor Shepard waits for the teams to indicate all is clear.

"Clear," says Alhe.

"Clear," says Bering.

The four start making their way up the stairs to join Shepard and Jack. The landing on the third floor leads to three rooms; Kane is in one of them.

Shepard signals for Langer to cloak and check out the two rooms where they did not see Kane. The group waits for him to return.

"Clear," says Langer.

Leaving one room the group of six split into two sets of three. Shepard signals to the group to get ready, showing 3..2..1..with her hand she goes through the door first followed quickly by Jack and Alhe, then the rest.

Kane is reading on his bed fully clothed, he is not surprised."Well well well look at what we have here," he says. "I wondered when you were going to pay me a visit."

"Get up," says Shepard pointing her pistol at him. Oh how she wants to pull the trigger and see his brains spill out over the room.

"Of course Commander, or I suppose I should say Captain. I didn't think we would see each other so soon," Kane says as he slowly stands up with his hands raised.

Alhe steps in behind him to bind his wrists.

"Hello Kane," says Shepard, "Or do you prefer Mitch?"


	19. Chapter 19

Kane working for the Council was one of many perks. He gives the Council what they need and in return his business dealings are ignored. When his men could not take Dr. Liara T'Soni, he knew it was only a matter of time before Shepard would show up. But Kane has a plan, he knows how valuable he is to the Council, he knows Shepard will be kept on a leash that is why he did not put up a fight when she came for him. He figures he will be home within the next few hours, he will soon find out just how wrong he is.

* * *

James joins the team inside the house. Shepard hands Kane over to him.

"You know where to bring him," is all Shepard says.

James and Jack start to leave with him when Ensign Jen Alhe speaks up. "What's going on?"

"This is Spectre business Alhe, stand down," says Shepard giving her a look to not argue.

Kane is a bit nervous his stupid grin fading from his face.

"Captain if I may have a word?" asks Alhe.

"Not necessary Ensign. Listen up."

Everyone stops what they are doing to listen.

"You are all on 48 hour leave starting immediately. I have specific orders from the Council and will handle it with James and Jack here. I expect to see you at 0800 on the Normandy in two days time. Good work tonight, you are all dismissed."

Alhe doesn't like what she hears she steps in closer to the Captain. "Shepard."

"You heard me Alhe, this is not up for debate. This is not, I repeat not a situation in which you can relieve me of my duty, do you understand?"

"I do not understand that is why I am asking Sir," says Alhe.

"I like your guts Alhe I do, you will make a good commander some day, but that day is not today. If you want to call the Council you certainly can, but I am not at liberty to discuss with you what my orders are. Now if you will excuse me."

Shepard doesn't wait to see if Alhe has any more concerns. She approaches James and Jack, "You know where to take him, I will meet you there."

* * *

Shepard returns to the Normandy, she is tired but her day is about to begin even though it is close to 0200. She isn't exactly looking forward to what she is about to do, not sure how it will go, but she feels it must be done nonetheless. Kane has become a cancer in her marriage with Liara and it is time to eradicate it one way or another.

Before heading to her quarters to clean up she first heads to the med bay hoping to find Dr. Chakwas and Liara. Sadly, she finds just the doctor.

"Shepard, I didn't realize you.-"

"Where is Liara?" Shepard interrupts.

"I believe she is asleep in your quarters."

"She and the baby?"

"Are just fine. The effects of the tranquilizer is gone."

"Good, do you have what I need?"

"You are going now?"

"After I clean up yes."

"Shepard, I don't think this is such a good idea."

"Karin," Shepard looks at her with fierce determination, "either you are coming or you are not, either way I don't give a shit. Now do you have what I asked for or not."

Chakwas has been on the other end of Shepard's moods, but this time she does not feel comfortable with what the captain has asked of her.

"I don't agree with what you are proposing Shepard, there has to be another way."

"What way Karin! You tell me, I am all ears!" yells Shepard. "You fucking tell me!"

Silence.

"I have had enough of people second guessing me on this ship! I show one fucking ounce of weakness and everyone all of a sudden has a fucking opinion. Now I told you about this a day ago and you said nothing, what has changed?"

Holding up her hands she says in a quiet calm voice, "I just believe there has to be a better way. Liara is still sleeping; she has been through a lot. I don't know if this is the best timing."

Sighing Shepard calms herself a little, "This is the way it is going to be. She wanted this Karin she did. And don't fucking tell me what she has been through you hear me. Now are you in or are you out?"

After thinking for a few minutes, Chakwas does not like the plan, but does feel she should be present. "I'm in," she says finally.

"Good, now please get the stuff and meet me in the shuttle in one hour." Shepard walks to the door and turns, "And Karin, I'm sorry I yelled at you, I know you are just looking out for her, for both of us."

The doctor gives a solemn nod.

* * *

Shepard makes her way to her quarters and moves within quietly to not wake Liara. She takes a shower and lets herself cry. She knows what is coming and how hard it will be. She will not allow herself to cry when it happens so she lets it out now. She hopes that when the feeling of wanting to cry comes the tears will be dry. It is a false hope, but she chooses to hang onto it.

She dresses and sits on the couch to watch Liara sleep. The asari looks a bit conflicted in her sleep as if fighting demons. It is hard for Shepard not to blame Liara for allowing the demons in, but she doesn't, well not a lot anyway. She wants to hate her blue beauty, it is an easier emotion than love for sure, a part of her does, but most of her just wants to cuddle into her and make love to her all night. Shepard loves Liara, loves her with all her heart, but what is coming must be done. Liara must let go of her demons and Shepard is going to help her even if it kills her.

Shepard needs to wake her now, it is almost time to go, almost time to start the hardest thing she will ever do. She wants to wake her with a kiss, with a stroke to her cheek. Instead she chooses to remain distant and uses her hand on the asari's shoulder to lightly shake it. "Liara, wake up."

The asari stirs a little. God how Shepard wants to kiss her, but she doesn't. She shakes her shoulder a little harder, "Liara." Her blue eyes open, fuzzy at first, they are almost Shepard's undoing, she looks away.

"Elly?"

"I need you to get up Liara, we have to go."

Confused Liara looks at the clock, it is in the middle of the night. "What is it, are you alright?"

"You need to get dressed Liara."

Liara notices she is not looking at her, not in her eyes anyways. "Elly."

This time Shepard does look her in the eye, "Liara, please get dressed we need to leave."

Liara no longer argues, she has no idea what is going on she is just so happy that Elly is speaking to her. She gets dressed as quickly as she can. "Where are we going?"

Shepard does not answer just gestures to the door. They enter the elevator; Liara sees her press the button for the shuttle bay. Still groggy Liara is not sure if they are in danger and are leaving for their safety or what is going on.

Shepard steps into the shuttle and reaches out a hand to help Liara in. Liara is thrilled at the touch, the warmth of skin on skin, it is gone too fast. Shepard says something to Cortez and takes a seat; Liara notices Dr. Chakwas is next to Cortez. The shuttle lifts off destination unknown.

* * *

The shuttle flight was not too long, maybe twenty minutes. Liara was not really paying attention to the time but paying attention to her bondmate. She sat across from her and did not look at her, not once during the whole trip. Coming more to her senses now Liara was getting concerned, Shepard was not acting like herself, she was being almost cold. Was this her way of getting back at her Liara thought. Is she treating me like I treated her, is that why she won't look at me, won't talk to me. Elly was clearly tense Liara could tell by the tightening and un-tightening in her jaw. She even noticed the clenching and unclenching of her fists, this was something Shepard did when she felt very uneasy. Seeing that behavior in Shepard frightens Liara, she wants to say something but the shuttle lands and Shepard is up and opening the door before she can say anything.

Shepard steps out of the shuttle again holding a hand out for Liara to take. The asari stands and looks at Shepard, she does not move this time. "What is going on Elly?"

"Take my hand Liara," is her only reply. No emotion no eye contact.

"You're scaring me Elly, what are we doing."

She sees Elly flinch at her words, Shepard looks at her. "Please take my hand, you will be alright."

Hand shaking now, Liara reaches for Shepard and steps out of the shuttle. Liara squeezes her hand and is happy that Shepard does not pull away. It is pitched black outside, they approach what looks like an abandoned building. There are no other buildings around; they seem to be in the middle of nowhere. She notices that Dr. Chakwas is walking behind them head down.

Shepard opens the door; it is a very large room, a very large empty room. Florescent lights hide any possible shadow. Shepard continues walking holding onto Liara's hand to the back of the building, she sees there is another room. Shepard stops, lets go of Liara's hand and grabs a nearby chair. "Sit" is all she says and she disappears through the door to the room.

Dr. Chakwas approaches Liara. "Please lift your shirt Liara, I need to attach these to monitor you and your baby."

"What? What is going on, Karin you are scaring me what is going on."

"Please Liara." The doctor will not look at her.

What the hell is going on Liara wants to scream. Is this some type of punishment for what she put Shepard through, the danger she put her friends through, what? She just wants to understand, but no one will tell her anything. Liara does what she says, she trusts the doctor after all and she does trust Shepard, she just doesn't know if that trust is reciprocated. She cannot stop the heat in her eyes, tears start to streak down her cheeks. If the doctor notices she doesn't flinch. She hurries with attaching whatever she is attaching.

Shepard appears from the room once more with a solemn look. "You set?" She is asking Chakwas not Liara.

"Yes."

Shepard looks at Liara, really looks at her this time. She sees Liara crying but does not reach for her. "Come with me please," is all she says.

Composing herself Liara says, "I want to know what is going on Shepard, you are scaring me, why won't you talk to me. Karin please what is going on?"

Shepard gestures with a slant of her head for Dr. Chakwas to walk away. Liara notices she disappears into a second area not the room where Shepard emerged. "Come with me Liara."

Liara is moving beyond scared and into furious. How dare Shepard not answer her, scare her like this and what is with the stupid monitoring attachments. She wants to know what is going on and realizes the only way to do that is to follow instructions, so she gets up and follows Shepard into the room.

As she enters the room Liara sees a table in the middle of the room with someone on it. She sees a chair, a table with items on it and what looks like a rectangular window. What she doesn't know is that the window is a two way mirror. James, Jack and Dr. Chakwas are behind it.

Shepard asked the doctor to monitor Liara. She is going to push her hard but she does not want to put her or the baby in jeopardy. There is a switch she is to flip that will show a red light in the room that informs Shepard to stop, that Liara needs to calm down. The doctor is not happy with this plan but she understands it. James and Jack did their part; they brought Kane, sedated him and strapped him to the table by his wrists and ankles. It is up to them if they stick around, which they are doing because they want to be there for Shepard and for Liara.

Liara is still not sure what is going on. Shepard walks behind her to close the door, the sound of it echoes through the room. As she approaches the table where someone is strapped to it, her eyes are drawn to the nearby table on wheels, a cart really. It has various instruments, various knives…

Liara knows what this room is, this is just like the room where Elly was tortured. "What is this Elly," her heartbeat is slightly elevated.

The coldness has not left Shepard when she answers, "This is what you could not let go of Liara. This is what you wanted, so I am giving you what you want."

Liara, wide-eyed, looks to the person strapped to the table. "Who is that?"

"Oh come on now Liara, you know full well who it is."

Liara cannot believe what she is seeing, she cannot believe what she is hearing, Kane this is actually Kane in front of her at last. But why is she scared, this is what she wanted. "It's Kane."

"Yes. So now Liara you get to choose. Do you kill him or do I?"

It's what she wants, at least what she thought she wanted but now with him right in front of her she doesn't know, it doesn't feel right.

Shepard approaches Liara and guides her to the chair to sit down. "This is what you would not let me move on from Liara."

"What?"

Shepard grabs the table and moves it across the floor. "The first thing Brad Whitmore did when he entered the room before he started his torture, before he cut into me was move this table. Now it doesn't make the same sound it did when I was strapped to the table, but it will have to do." Shepard makes a show of moving the table on wheels, creating a loud rattling sound.

"Elly what are you doing?"

Shepard ignores her. "See this," she holds up a long leather strap. "This is the first thing he put on me. See he didn't want me to move too much so he tied down my hips. You want to do the honors?" Shepard holds out the strap to Liara.

Liara is horrified. She cannot believe what Shepard is doing. "Elly…"

Shepard is reenacting what was done to her when she was tortured; she feels it is the only way to show Liara how her obsession has hurt her.

"No? Okay." Shepard moves to the table where Kane is restrained and secures his hips with the leather strap. His ankles and wrists are already restrained; the table is very similar to the table she was strapped to.

"The next thing he did was use this," Shepard holds up another strap.

"Elly please what are you doing?"

She looks at her, "You're kidding right. This is what you wanted Liara."

"No Elly it's not."

"Sure it is Liara! Every time you talked about Kane you forced me back into this room. You didn't let me forget, you didn't let me move on!" Returning to the strap, "He took this strap and he put it on my head and chin. I honestly thought my neck might break it hurt so bad when he tightened it down." Shepard puts the strap on Kane, the straps move over his forehead and chin so he cannot move his head. "So what do you think he did next Liara?"

"Elly please don't do this."

"Oh come on Liara! We are just getting started; I haven't even shown you the juicy parts yet."

"No no I don't want to see this."

"Well you should have thought about that before you became obsessed on revenge Liara. "This was his next step. He took a pair of scissors and he ripped open my shirt." Shepard does the same to Kane. "He did it so he could see my entire torso. You want to know what I was thinking about at this moment Liara? You know how I love to talk about my feelings," she says seething in sarcasm.

Liara is shaking her head back and forth she doesn't want this; it wasn't supposed to be like this.

"I thought he was going to rape me Liara, finish what he started when I was sixteen. I was terrified, I wanted to die, I would rather die than have him do that to me, that is what I was thinking when he touched my stomach."

She doesn't want to hear this, she just wanted revenge, she just wanted to end him that's all, is that so bad. How could she not see what she was doing to Shepard, what her obsession was doing?

"What set him off is that he was looking for my scars Liara. They weren't there. See in case you forgot, he stabbed me when I was sixteen, when I was able to scream to stop him. He was pissed when he didn't see the scars. You want to know what he said to me. Look at me Liara!"

She looks, tears streaming down her face.

"He said its okay, I will make new ones. And that is exactly what he did. So choose Liara, you wanted this, choose which instrument do you want to use?"

Shepard moves over and grabs Liara by the hand. "Come on Liara! Choose, which knife do you want to use on him first." Shepard is holding her firmly in place over the cart with various knives on it.

"No …I don't …want ….this," she says between sobs.

"What do you mean, you don't want this knife, what? You want me to do it, is that it Liara? What the hell do you want!"

Liara turns out of her grip, "I don't have to be reminded of what he did to you! I saw it, I saw you dying on the table Elly."

"That's right Liara, so now it is your turn to inflict the same pain to Kane, come on you know you want to, what are you waiting for!"

"You son of a bitch Elly! How dare you do this? I wanted to put an end to him so he could not hurt you anymore," yells Liara.

"Yeah! Well in case you are forgetting, HE is not the one who tortured me! In fact when one of his men tried to feel me up he killed him. So yeah, let's torture and kill the guy, the guy who stopped the man from touching me."

"I will not feel guilty for wanting to protect you and our family!"

"You have got to be kidding me Liara. You put our child in danger not two days ago, God how soon you forget. If it weren't for James and Jack you would probably be strapped to this thing. Don't you DARE tell me you did this for our family, DON'T YOU DARE!"

"I just ….I just wanted …"

"To what Liara, to see him suffer? This is your chance. See what Brad did next was take a knife, now which one I don't know because I could not move my head. Do you want the honors?" Shepard holds the knife handle first to Liara.

Liara wants to stab him; she wants to make him suffer as Shepard suffered. He may not have personally cut her but he was the reason it happened. Her hands are shaking so badly she probably couldn't hold the knife if she wanted to.

"Do you know what it's like to be stabbed Liara?" Shepard is relentless.

No reply.

No longer yelling, Shepard says, "It's worse that getting shot. His first cut was here," she points to Kane's torso. "I don't ever remember screaming so loud in my life, the pain…I will never forget it. I am reminded of it every time I look in the mirror Liara. Every time you missed a meal, every time you fell asleep at your keyboard looking for a way to find Kane, you forced me back in this room, don't you see that! I was trying to put this behind me, but you insisted, you insisted on finding Kane.

Liara is crying again, she sits back down in the chair as her legs are shaking. No this is all wrong; this is not want Liara wanted.

Shepard wants to stop but doesn't she keeps pushing.

"Do you know he laughed when I screamed when I was gasping for breath Liara. He laughed! He loved it that I screamed as he was cutting me. He cut so deep I almost passed out, you know what I got for that? A slap on the face!" Shepard points to a scar on her right cheek that was the result of his slap due to a ring he was wearing.

"He cut into me again and again and again!"

Standing now, "I know! I saw what he did to you. I feel it every time I touch you."

The pain she sees in Shepard's face breaks her heart. Liara knows she should not have said the words. Shepard recently told Liara that she hated her torso, she asked the asari how she could stand to touch her. She wanted Liara to contact Miranda to see if perhaps she could fix her skin, make the scars go away. Liara never gave her Miranda's contact information because she was too focused on finding Kane. "Elly, I'm sorry."

Shepard doesn't bother fighting the welling of tears in her eyes. "Sorry for what Liara. For finally admitting that you can't stand to touch me! Or…or are you sorry for pursuing Kane to the point where you put our child in danger, where you put yourself in danger, WHICH IS IT!"

"I…I didn't mean…" she cannot finish the sentence, her sobs are too strong.

Shepard notices the red light come on in the room, which indicates that Liara's heartbeat or the baby's heartbeat is elevated.

She paces the room, hearing Liara sob is becoming too much to handle. She doesn't want to do this anymore she has worked so hard to get past this, but seeing Kane strapped to the table Shepard wants him dead. She wasn't expecting her emotions to get the better of her, but they are, she should have known better. It's because of him she was tortured, because of him that Liara became obsessed, but wait that's not right is it? Liara chose to track him down, chose to lie chose to manipulate. No no, everything would be better if he died. Everything would go back to the way it was if he was dead.

Without realizing it Shepard is standing over Kane with a knife in her hand. Liara looks up and notices. "Elly, what are you doing?" she manages.

Shepard doesn't seem to hear her. She is tracing the knife back and forth on his torso, not cutting, but using the back of the knife to draw an invisible picture.

Liara slowly approaches Shepard with her hands out, "Elly…what are you doing?"

Shepard has no expression on her face; she is just staring blankly at the man on the table. Liara fears she is having a flashback which of course makes the asari feel a tremendous wave of guilt. Flaring her biotics to shield herself Liara touches Shepard's shoulder.

Shepard doesn't flinch, doesn't move at all.

"Elly can you hear me?"

"Maybe you were right Liara," her voice is so distant.

"No Elly, this is not right, I was wrong Elly, wrong to want this. Give me the knife Elly."

Shepard slowly shakes her head back and forth, "It won't ever be over will it?"

_Oh Goddess. _"Elly listen to me please. You were right, I was wrong. I let my lust for revenge consume me, I am so..so sorry Elly please."

"He hurt me Liara."

Such simple words but so very hard to say. Shepard never said that to Liara, never admitted how hurt she was. She never wanted to talk about her torture; she hated feeling helpless and weak. Shepard made herself live through it all over again so Liara would see the errors of her ways.

Liara reaches out for the knife and is relieved that Shepard does not draw it away. She takes it from her and sets in on the cart. Placing her hands on either side of Shepard's face she says, "Look at me Elly."

Through tearful eyes, Elly looks at Liara. "I have to kill him Liara," she says.

"No..no you don't. I was wrong Shepard, please forgive me. I am sorry I lied to you Elly, please you don't have to kill him."

Shepard is not really looking at Liara more like through her. Liara takes her hand to move her away from the table, but Shepard places her hands on Liara's shoulders and places her into the chair.

She was so quick, too fast for Liara to react; Shepard reaches for the knife and plunges it into Kane's chest.

"Noooo!"

With a dead look on her face Shepard twists the knife already embedded into his chest making his blood burst out like an erupting volcano splashing blood on her shirt, neck and face. She raises the knife and plunges it in again and again and again and lets out a scream that Liara will never forget.

Liara starts to sob once again, she knows she caused this. She knows she broke something in Shepard.

Liara hears the door to the room open, she looks to see who it is and sees James, Jack and Dr. Chakwas enter. She looks back toward Shepard; she is still standing over the body holding the knife with both hands.

James gently grabs Liara and moves her back while Jack who has shielded herself approaches Shepard with a syringe. Shepard doesn't move when Jack injects her with a sedative. Jack catches her as she slumps holding her into her arms. She is not used to crying herself, but her own cheeks are wet. Jack wipes her tears quickly before the doctor checks on Shepard.

Chakwas nods that she is okay. Jack lifts Shepard with her biotics and leaves the room.

"What have I done James what have I done?" cries Liara.

"Shh it's over now, it's going to be all right," he says. He is not sure he believes it, but he says it just the same.

"Let's get them back to the Normandy," says Dr. Chakwas.


	20. Chapter 20

James and Jack were asked by Shepard to set up the room for her. Shepard wanted to walk Liara through her torture, show Liara how her obsession of finding the man that kidnapped her hurt Shepard. James did not like the idea one bit and told her as much, he was concerned with what would happen if she relived it again, but Shepard was adamant. She told James and Jack to expect anything. Shepard suspected that perhaps Liara would kill him though she hoped she wouldn't. It was okay to kill him; the Council didn't care if he was alive or dead.

It happened so quickly, the three watching behind the two way mirror they thought perhaps the man would live, that Shepard had made her point; Liara did not move to do harm to him. But Shepard was so fast, she suddenly stabbed Kane over and over again, the three behind the mirror were frozen, helpless to do anything but watch. It seemed like they were frozen like that for hours, but in fact it was seconds. The stabbing over by the time they entered the room, they knew they needed to help.

Jack placed her hand on James' shoulder taking the syringe from him. She nodded to Liara indicating she had Shepard. Jack understood Shepard's rage, Jack understood rage all too well. She wanted to be the one to sedate her friend, to help her, to return her to the Normandy. She didn't expect to feel like she did and she certainly didn't expect to cry, but Shepard was her friend and she felt for her, cried for her.

Not exactly happy to be on clean up duty James and Jack returned to the room and took care of everything, they wanted to help. They cleaned the room in silence still shocked by what they saw.

* * *

Shepard asleep in her quarters Liara is on the couch watching her. Dr. Chakwas scanned both of them ensuring they were both okay, physically they are but emotionally, well that is another story.

The sedative used on Shepard would wear off soon and Liara has no idea what she is going to say to the human woman. It's her fault that Shepard even had to be sedated.

Liara was shocked to find herself in a room with Kane strapped to a table, Shepard insisting on walking Liara through her torture. Shepard shared with her some of it in their melds, but to hear it from her mouth to see the affect it had on her, it was overwhelming. Liara wants to hug Shepard, wants to comfort her as she sleeps but she does not know if it would be welcome. Then she had to say those words, she didn't mean them not the way Shepard took it. The scars on Shepard's torso, Liara did not mean to say that she could not touch them, could not touch Elly, she didn't mean it that way, she only meant that every time she feels the scars she remembers what happened to her but that is not really any better. She wants to tell Elly how much she loves her that she is not repulsed when she touches her, but how can she after Elly took it the wrong way. What is Liara going to say to her bondmate when she wakes, what can she possibly say to fix this?

Liara understands what Shepard did, pushing her to see what her obsession did to not only Liara but to Shepard. Liara of course didn't see it. She was too focused on her goal, she wanted her family safe and that meant eliminating Kane. He was a threat simple as that, a threat to be eliminated. But Liara could not do that when she had the chance. He was strapped on a table, easy pickings and Liara could not do it. She was angry with Shepard for doing that to her, making her relive what Shepard went through just to make a point. But the anger quickly diminished because she knew Shepard was right, Liara took it too far. Her focus was worse than when she was tracking down the Shadow Broker. At least then she was alone. She didn't realize until after being in that room just how much she ignored her bondmate, ignored her pleading, her warnings to let go.

Liara is sick that she fell into the trap again; the trap that says revenge will make it all better. It felt so good at the time, knowing how close she was to finding Kane. The thrill she experienced when she threatened Peter Jones, the inmate that knew Kane. She cringes at the thought now, what has she become? She was so lost and Shepard all but slapped her silly forcing her to look at herself, Liara did not like what she saw.

Now as she watches Shepard, Liara thinks about their future, their unborn child. What will it be, will they even have one. Will Shepard be able to move on after she killed Kane, too many questions that need answers. Liara wants to push that all away right now, she wants to be with Elly, tell her she loves her but is too scared to even hold her hand as she sleeps.

Shepard is stirring; she is batting away unknown forces as she cries "No" in her sleep. Instinctively Liara approaches her without thinking she takes the human hands into hers and whispers "It's okay Elly, you are safe." This is what Liara often does when Shepard has nightmares, sometimes it settles her down and sometimes it does not.

Shepard's breathing slowed but she shifted back in the bed pulling on Liara's hands. Liara was not sure what to do, she knows Shepard wants to hold her, but is she even awake, does she know what she is really asking? Liara didn't care, she moved onto the bed, Shepard wrapped herself into Liara holding her, snuggling her head into Liara's neck. Her breathing slowed and she fell back asleep if she was awake at all.

Tired herself Liara did not let herself think about what would happen when Shepard woke, she didn't want to think about that right now. She wanted to hold Shepard, comfort her as she herself wanted the same. Liara relaxed and allowed herself to fall asleep.

* * *

"You okay Jack?" asks James as he pokes at his food. They are both in the mess hall on the Normandy, most of the crew gone; they are on their 48 hour leave. James and Jack did not want to leave until Shepard woke, until they knew she was okay.

Jack was pacing back and forth fists clenched clearly upset. "I'm fine."

James doesn't know Jack very well, but he is pretty perceptive, he knows not to push her. He takes another bite and eats while she continues to pace.

"This is all fucked up," she finally says. "What are we supposed to do now?" Jack asks.

James shrugs his shoulders.

"That all ya got Vega," she mimics his shoulder shrug.

Sighing putting his fork down, "I don't know the answer Jack, I don't. She is a Spectre, the Council could care less the guy is dead."

"I'm not talking about the fucking Council! I am talking about Shepard. I..I have never seen her like that."

James says, "Me neither. But she's tough. She will get through this, they both will."

"How do you get past something like this," it was more of rhetorical question, Jack wasn't expecting James to answer her.

"Time...-"

"Don't fucking tell me time heals all wounds because that is bullshit!" she yells but her anger is not directed at him.

"I…I was just.." He doesn't know what to say. He has a feeling Jack is talking about something else, but he doesn't ask. He wants everything to be all right, but he doesn't know if it will be. He wants to reassure this woman who continues to pace, a woman who intrigues him but he really knows nothing about, but he can't find the words. He doesn't know what to say, so he returns to poking at his food taking a bite from time to time.

After a few more miles of pacing Jack finally says, "I can't stand this waiting. I'm going out, you want to come?"

James looks at her, "The sun is about to come up, where do you want to go?"

"I'm sure there is a bar open someplace, I need a drink."

James isn't sure if it is a good idea to leave the ship, but what can happen. They are docked at Alliance HQ, there is security outside, and certain clearance is needed just to board the Normandy. He figures people are safe here, plus in the state Jack is in he is not sure she should be left alone. "Sure, let's go."

* * *

Shepard slowly opens her eyes, assessing where she is. She feels arms around her a familiar scent, her head is nestled into Liara's neck. She can feel the asari sleeping beneath her, oh how she has missed this. Memory returning she realizes what she has done. She forced Liara to relive her torture, she was so adamant with Chakwas, James and Jack that it was the only way to show Liara what her obsession was doing to the asari. But had she gone too far, no she needed to show Liara what she was doing to herself, doing to their unborn child, what she was doing to Shepard but then…God I killed him. I killed Kane, he was sedated, helpless, tied up and I killed him, I am no better than he is.

Instead of her usual defense of wanting to run away she holds Liara tighter. Before realizing it she is lightly kissing the asari's collarbone, neck.. she wants Liara she wants to forget, she wants to get lost in the asari.

Liara wakes feeling Shepard holding her tight and what, she is kissing me. What is she doing, is she dreaming. Liara wants to let herself go give into the moment but she is not sure it is the right thing to do. She tries her voice, "Elly."

Shepard stiffens and stops all movement. Liara brushes her hand up and down Shepard's arm, "Elly?" Liara feels her trembling. Moving her hand towards Shepard's chin she lifts it so she can look at Elly. She is crying and cannot make eye contact. Liara cups her face with her hand, "It's alright Elly." When their eyes finally meet Liara sees the sorrow turn to coldness.

Shepard is up and off the bed in one swift movement. She wipes the tears from her eyes as she looks down at Liara on the bed. She wants to say something but what can she say. She turns and heads to the shower.

I should have killed him, Liara thinks to herself. But when the opportunity presented itself she doesn't understand why she couldn't bring herself to kill him. Maybe because it would have been murder. I mean the man was strapped to a table, he couldn't defend himself. Liara has never killed someone in cold blood. She has killed sure, but in self defense, she has killed those who have meant her harm. But didn't Kane mean her harm? Didn't Kane already harm her why was it so different? Because Shepard was right. He was not the one who tortured Elly, he even called Liara with the address to the warehouse where she was being kept, perhaps there was some good in him. No no no, that doesn't matter, it's because of him Shepard was taken; because of him she was hurt. Liara felt like a coward because Shepard gave her what she wanted all along, but she couldn't follow through with it, she just couldn't.

So Shepard did what she always does, protects. She took care of him even if it was something she didn't want to do. But the words Shepard spoke, "It will never be over will it," is what Liara cannot forget that and the scream. She never thought she would hear such a thing coming from Shepard, the pain, the desperation and hopelessness that flooded out of her in one agonizing scream. Liara is a fool; there is no more to say really. Revenge seduced her and she fell into its hateful trap and for what, the man is now dead but nothing is better, will it ever be better? Liara pushes the thought from her mind. She can have tremendous focus, now it is time to turn it to something worthwhile, her bondmate, and their marriage.

* * *

She let the water fall on her washing away the tears she quietly cried. Why did it have to feel so good to be in Liara's arms? What is she supposed to do now? How can Liara want her after what she just put her through? This is new territory for Shepard; she has never felt so lost in a relationship. Only having one prior to Liara it was never this deep, this meaningful. I just want to run away, this didn't happen maybe I can just pretend it didn't happen, but it did. I am a murderer. Shepard shudders at the thought.

Drying off looking at herself in the mirror she hardly recognizes the image. "You are a murderer, "she says to the image. "You are not a soldier; you are a cold blooded killer. You have no right to wear the Alliance uniform. I did what the Council wanted me to do; you did what you wanted to do. No no no, Liara wanted him dead I was doing it for her; I gave her the chance to kill him. You really believe that Shepard. You wanted him dead just as much as Liara. You killed him, you murdered him."

"Elly?"

Shepard didn't realize she was actually talking out loud to herself. Liara hearing her voice in the bathroom speaks her name through the door.

"What?" Shepard replies.

"Are you okay?"

Shepard looks at herself in the mirror and grins. _Oh yeah I am great. _Shepard can't help but look at her torso in the mirror, the snake like scars made her stomach bumpy not smooth. She hates those scars, hates how she feels when she sees them, when she touches them. She is reminded what Liara said to her hours before about touching her. Did she really mean it, did Liara actually say she didn't like touching her, that she couldn't touch her anymore, that doesn't seem right. Shepard raises her hand to brush through her hair, no she didn't she….she wouldn't.

"Elly?"

If I open that door and see her right now what am I going to do, what do I say. Shit, I don't have any clothes. Shepard wraps herself in the towel, takes a deep breath and opens the door. She sees the concern in Liara's eyes then quickly looks away and steps passed her to get some clothes.

"Were you….talking to yourself?"

_Great, now she think I'm nuts, well aren't you…murderer. _Shepard can't keep her negative thoughts at bay. Dr. Snowden helped her with this when she overcame her flashbacks, but now she doesn't know why she can't stop them, she can't remember at the moment how to combat the battlefield in her mind. Finding clothes she walks back into the bathroom to change not looking at Liara.

Suddenly she just wants out, it is such a strong sensation, to want to get out of your own skin, get out of your own mind. She doesn't want to think anymore she wants ugh, she wants out. As she dresses Shepard thinks what can she do how can she escape….alcohol. No, that is not the best idea the headache and crappy feeling afterwards is hardly worth it, besides the last time she went to a bar he was there. Approaching her as Mitch when all along he was Kane, married my ass what an asshole. To think she danced with the guy, the thought makes her want to vomit. _Ugh I hate feeling this way!_

When I open the door she will be there, Liara will want to talk what the hell am I supposed to say. Dressed now Shepard looks at herself again. _Pull yourself together, you are Captain Shepard, you can do this._ Yeah, it doesn't work, she opens the door.

"Elly, can we please talk?" asks Liara.

Shepard hears the desperation in her voice. She just wants to hold the asari tell her everything is going to be alright, but Shepard doesn't feel right. "I…I need to think Liara…I can't right now," she says as she tries to pass her.

Liara steps in the way. "Please Elly."

Shepard cannot look at her. She doesn't want to fight; she is so tired of fighting. She moves down the stairs and sits on the couch.

_Please Goddess help me find the right words. _"Elly…I am not sure where to begin."

Shepard does not look up, her leg is shaking up and down like a jackhammer, she clearly does not want to be here.

"I love you Elly, I am so sorry what I put you through, what I put both of us through."

Shepard's leg stops. _How can she be apologizing to me, I am the one who is the murderer. _

Liara continues, "I understand why you did what you did, walking me through your torture so I would see what my obsession was doing to you. There are no words that can say how sorry I am to put you through that Elly."

_I can't handle this, I can't handle this, I need out, _Shepard thinks to herself.

"I…I thought I was doing the right thing in tracking him down Elly I really did, I see now how wrong I was, how lost I got. I lied to you." Liara sees Shepard flinch at her words. "I manipulated you into getting what I wanted. I used our relationship and played on your emotions to get myself to New York, I am so sorry. What I did was despicable, I…I don't know what else to say."

Clearing her throat Shepard tries her voice, "I…I don't understand why you are apologizing. I should be apologizing to you." Shepard stands. "How can you even speak to me after what I have done?"

Liara is a bit confused. What is Shepard talking about? Liara knows all too well how Shepard takes on blame, blame that she has no right to take on, she is doing it again.

"Elly, what I did was wrong."

Shaking her head, "No, no you needed him dead right; I mean that is what you needed. And I wouldn't give it to you. I refused to help you; I made you go behind my back."

"That is not true Elly Shepard! Don't you dare take on what is not yours to take. I am the one who lied to you and manipulated you; you did not force me to do that."

"Why couldn't you do it Liara?"

"What?"

Shepard looks in her eye, "Why couldn't you kill him?"

Very concerned that Shepard is not hearing her at all Liara is not sure how to respond to the question.

Shepard stands, "I mean you were right there, he was there it's what you wanted, I thought it was what you wanted. I got it wrong, I got it all wrong, I shouldn't have done that to you."

Something is not right with Shepard, this is wrong this is all wrong. Liara stands not sure what to say, why is Shepard acting like this, is it shock?

"Elly," Liara says as she slowly walks toward Shepard.

Shepard sees her movement and steps away putting a hand up. "No, you need to stay away from me Liara."

Her concern growing, "Why Elly?" she asks as she steps closer.

"I said STOP!" yells Shepard. But Liara doesn't stop, her resolve pushing her forward. She reaches out for Elly. Elly is against the wall, she cannot back up any further. Shepard is shaking her head back and forth; she still has her arm up as if in warning.

Liara places her hand gently on her arm slowly lowering it. "I love you Elly." Liara pulls Shepard into a hug and holds her tightly. Shepard resists at first, but Liara does not let go.

"I can't..I can't do this..-" Shepard starts to say.

"You can…you can Elly it's okay."

Shepard lets herself be hugged, wants it, she really, really wants it. But she doesn't feel she deserves it so just as quickly as she allowed the hug, she pushes Liara back. "I can't do this Liara." Shepard steps to the side and walks out of their quarters leaving Liara's arms empty.


	21. Chapter 21

_A/N: Moving the rating to M due to intimate themes and swearing, should have upped it a few chapters ago, I apologize._

_I want to thank each and every one of you that have left a review, and to those that have 'favorited' me and are following this story. Feedback is always, always appreciated._

* * *

No one heard from Shepard for two days, no one except Jack and James. She sent them a message via her omni-tool when she left Liara in their quarters, letting them know she would be gone for during the leave, needed to think. She asked them to tell Liara and anyone still hanging around the Normandy. Shepard decided to take her 48 hour leave to think about what she had done, about what Liara had done.

In her time away she contacted Councilor Tevos to inform her of what happened with Kane. If the asari Councilor was upset or surprised you would never know it, she simply said thank you for the information and disconnected the call. Figures thought Shepard; the Councilor never cared what Shepard thought anyway why the hell would she care now, whether or not it was true it felt true.

Shepard doesn't want this life anymore. She doesn't want to be at the beck and call of the Council doing whatever they ask of her. Take care of Kane, we need you, find more proof of Saren going rogue, find proof of the reaper's existence we don't believe you and on and on and on. The damn war with the reapers all but killed the rest of the Specters, her and Williams almost being the only ones left. Why couldn't one of them handle the situation with Kane? She wanted to know but didn't ask. What difference does it make, what's done is done. Shepard has to live with the fact that she killed a man who was helpless, tied up, sedated. Maybe it is a good thing he was sedated, the first plunge of the knife instantly killed the man, at least he didn't suffer, but this doesn't make Shepard feel better.

Staying in her hotel room for two days locked away from anyone and everyone does not make her feel better either. Shepard called Dr. Snowden because she could not think of how to get rid of her feelings of despair; she felt as if the alluring pit of depression was dragging her down and she didn't want that, didn't want to succumb to the darkness, the sadness the aloneness. Shepard recognized that when she is depressed her cuts herself off from people, not letting in any source of comfort because berating herself and calling herself murderer was all the comfort she allowed, if you actually call that comfort.

Dr. Snowden listened as Shepard told her parts of the story, how Liara lied to her, manipulated her, how she got lost but now Shepard is the one feeling lost. The doctor merely asked what Shepard wanted. "Do you want a future with Liara?" It was shocking to hear the words; of course she did that is what Shepard fought for every day, every day that she can remember. Since she met the asari her life has always been about fighting for a future with Liara. But fighting reapers and husks and Cerberus was far easier than fighting emotional demons. Shepard much preferred physical pain over emotional pain; emotional pain always reared its ugly head even years later.

She doesn't want this pain anymore, this..this emotional pain. She has fought to be with Liara and she will keep on fighting even though all her energy seems depleted. Shepard loves Liara, cannot wait to meet their unborn child.

Shepard thinks to herself, _God, how can I be a good father when I am a murderer._ _Hi little one, so if you don't like someone you can go ahead and tie them up and stab them repeatedly because everyone wanted him dead anyway, so really it's not wrong that you killed him honey. I am so proud of you. _Of course Shepard would hopefully never say that to her daughter, but what kind of example is she now. Shepard did not tell Dr. Snowden everything, did not tell her she was a murderer.

Of everything she has been through, the lies, the deceit from Liara, who knew that killing a man would hit her so hard. A man who took her away from the love of her life just so that man could have his fun. When she thinks about it that way, of course it is fine that she killed him, he deserved it, but does anyone really _deserve _to die? These are the thoughts Shepard cannot shake. How will Liara ever forgive her, look at her the same way, Shepard killed a helpless unarmed man. What the hell has she become?

But wait a minute, what about Liara. She is nothing but a liar. She got lost, so lost. Shepard is almost mad at herself for not being angrier at Liara, but she's not. If these two days away from her bondmate has taught her anything it is that she doesn't want to be separated from her anymore. She only hopes Liara feels the same. Life is too short to hold onto grudges, does it hurt absolutely it hurts, but it hurts more thinking of her life without her blue beauty.

Talking with Dr. Snowden helped, helped Shepard see what she wanted. She wants Liara, she wants her family safe and she wants her little blue children. Was it devastating that Liara lied, that she played on her emotions to get what she wanted, of course yes. But in the end Shepard understands what Liara did, has no problem seeing herself doing the same thing, I mean Shepard would not lie she would just do it. Just like when she told Jack, James and Dr. Chakwas her plan with Kane, all three said no, not a good idea, but Shepard would not hear it. Didn't she do the exact same thing as Liara; she was just open and honest about it? Who the hell is Shepard to judge Liara's actions, she is the one who pushed Liara, she is the one who let it happen. She didn't confront Liara when she caught her in her lies.

And that lunch, the morning when Liara made her breakfast in bed and said she was sorry about how much time she was spending researching and how she wanted to spend the day with Shepard. She doesn't remember being so happy being so relieved that Liara was maybe letting it go. Then at lunch when Liara said she wanted to take a day trip and she mentioned New York Shepard knew, she _knew_ what Liara was planning. The pain she felt as Liara uttered the words; looking at the asari's face she saw no expression of guilt at her lie, her deceit. What about that pain, damn it. How the hell is Shepard supposed to trust her again, how is Shepard supposed to trust herself? She gave her heart to Liara, the first person she did that with and look what happened. Liara crushed it, she ….

No no no, Shepard can forgive that, she can move on from the pain Liara inflicted because she understands where it was coming from. Yes Liara was obsessed, yes she was consumed, Shepard has been consumed. Didn't Shepard spend years after Mindoir just existing not letting anyone close, what about that, how is that different from what Liara went through. Liara protected herself by focusing on finding Kane, learning everything she could about his friends or contacts. Shepard cannot begrudge her that.

Enough. Shepard knows Liara made mistakes so did Shepard, it is time to put this to rest and move on, oh please let them be able to move on. Fuck this shit, this emotional shit, this being away from Liara shit, Shepard wants Liara, she wants her family and she is going to fight for them.

* * *

Today is the day her crew and squad return to the Normandy, it will be busy again. So Shepard returns early hoping to talk with Liara. It is 0500 when she enters their quarters. Liara is not there, Shepard's heart sinks. Why would she be here, she probably went home, why would she wait. Does she even want to talk to me, to see me? Now what?

Shepard walks toward the door to leave when it opens standing in front of her is Liara looking as beautiful as ever.

Stunned Liara says, "Shepard?"

"Hello Liara." As if they are on their first date (well if they actually dated) they are awkward with each other, not wanting to look in each other's eyes, not sure what to say.

"When did you get back?" Liara finally asks after the silence is too long.

"Just now, I'm surprised to see you up at this hour."

"I never sleep well when you are gone," Liara says as she walks by her into their quarters.

Shepard feels a pang of guilt. "Have you eaten?"

"Yes Shepard I have eaten," Liara says clearly tired.

"I was hoping we could talk if you are up for it," says Shepard. She is not sure if she should follow Liara down to the couch or not, so she waits.

Liara wants to say I wanted to talk two days about but you decided to walk out, why should I talk to you now, but she doesn't. She is relieved truth be told that Shepard has returned, she has no idea what to think, where she has been, what she will say. "Of course," she says as she sits.

Shepard joins her on the couch, she notices that Liara will not look at her, she doesn't blame her she married a murderer after all _Stop it Shepard, get your thoughts squared_. "First I want to apologize for not being able to talk two days ago."

Liara looks at her, sees the sadness in her eyes, the human woman looks so completely tired.

"It's okay Elly; I know how you need to think." She was not accusing Shepard, just stating a fact.

"Well nonetheless, I know how it must have felt when I walked out and I am sorry about that."

Liara gives her a brief smile.

"I should not have put you through that Liara. When I told James, Jack and Dr. Chakwas what I needed from them neither one liked the idea."

"Even Jack?" asks Liara, "I would have thought she would approve of the idea."

Shepard could hear a bit of sarcasm from Liara, but it wasn't mean it was meant to be funny, which was confirmed when Liara smiled again.

"Yeah, even Jack. Anyway, even with the way to monitor your health and our baby's health, it was not a good idea."

"I am not quite sure anything else would have worked Elly, to make me see what I was doing."

Shepard looks at Liara; she is shocked to hear what Shepard herself thought. Shepard felt she had to be extreme to get Liara to see the truth, but to hear the asari agree with her, well she was not expecting it.

"Well, even so."

Liara stands and moves closer to Elly and sits back down next to her. Liara reaches for her hand but waits to see if Shepard will meet her half way. Shepard extends her hand, Liara takes it. "I am so sorry for what I put you through Elly."

Shepard never likes these types of talks, they get too personal too touchy feely. She doesn't feel in control, with Liara taking her hand, looking at her now, she wants to break down she wants to cry. She is so exhausted from crying she cannot believe she feels the heat behind her eyes once again, I mean don't tears run out.

Liara notices she cannot look at her, but that's okay, she continues anyway knowing she is still listening. "I am sorry I lied to you, manipulated you to get on the Normandy. I am sorry I didn't tell you about my visit to Attica prison. I am sorry that I let my lust for revenge rule my every thought and every action. I love you Elly Shepard and I hope you can forgive me."

Shepard with tears in her eyes moves her head up to look at Liara, "Of course I can Liara," Shepard kneels in front of her grabbing her other hand, she looks into Liara's ocean blue eyes, "Can you forgive me?"

"Well of course Ell…-," without letting her finish Shepard's lips are on hers. The kiss was hard at first, desperate then turned soft, longing, wanting.

Shepard doesn't remember how long it has been but it has been too long. She wanted to say more, say how sorry she was for murdering the man, but the fact is she is not that sorry and that only makes it worse. She just wants Liara, she doesn't want to _talk_ through it or _feel_ anything anymore, she just wants to feel Liara, feel her skin, her lips, her breasts her everything.

Shepard lifted Liara from the couch and laid her on the bed as their lips never moved from each others. She only parted from the asari to remove clothing and help Liara remove hers. To feel her skin again it was intoxicating, comforting, everything she remembered. God she missed her, she knew she would never get enough not ever be fully sated.

Was it wrong to do this, if it was Shepard put it out of her mind. Sex, being intimate did not come easy for Shepard, not at all, but Liara has helped her tremendously in this area. To be so vulnerable with another person, it is not something Shepard ever took lightly. Not usually the one to initiate sex, Shepard has grown more bold in their relationship, but not like this. Right now all she can think about is nothing else but getting Liara naked and feeling her all over, it is as if her body needs it, needs Liara and cannot survive without the feel of the asari beneath her. She wants to get lost in her, get lost in her blue beauty.

To feel Shepard's lips again, her hands on my body, Liara is thrilled that Shepard is with her right now. She wasn't sure what she was going to say if and when Shepard returned to the Normandy. Liara hoped that when the 48 hour leave was up she would see her bondmate.

She was not expecting to see her in their quarters, the look of her, how tired she looked. And her eyes, they were red and swollen, had she cried for two days? Liara sure did. She could not believe what she put Shepard through. How she allowed herself to get so obsessed over finding Kane and for what, in the end what did it matter. Why was it so hard for Liara to let go, to stop her research? She didn't want to think about it, she knows how focused she gets, how was this any different, because it hurt your wife Liara that is how it was different. Liara only left their Normandy quarters for meals; she left the Normandy to eat in the nearby Alliance HQ cafeteria. She was happy that people left her alone. She did see Jack and James once, but they kept their distance, Jack returning to who knows where and James leaving to enjoy the rest of his leave before returning to his N7 training.

Liara went too far, she knows this. She rehearsed what she wanted to say to Elly when she finally appeared, but would it be enough, would it be the right thing. What is the right thing to say in this situation, sorry honey, I love you but…

She had to try though right. Liara loves Shepard cannot think of a life without her, will not have a life without her. She will do anything and everything possible to get her bondmate back, to love her and cherish her as she should have been doing all along. Will Liara get obsessed again, probably, but she has learned her lesson, never again will she manipulate and lie to Shepard as she did, she will instead be open and honest.

Now that Shepard has unclothed her and is kissing her, caressing her she knows her words were the right words. To feel the human so close to her, oh Goddess how she missed her. She will never do anything like this again, she loves Shepard too much.

Before reaching out with her mind to join with Shepard Liara slowly moves her hand over Shepard's torso. Shepard stiffens, but Liara whispers "I love you Elly," as her hands traces over her scars. It was almost Shepard's undoing, such loving affection from Liara, her proving to her that she is not repulsed by her scars no matter how she got them. She lost it entirely and started to cry when Liara moved down and kissed each scar, moving slowly over each one with her lips. To feel such love was overwhelming to Shepard she couldn't help her tears.

Liara reached out with her mind and they joined becoming one, one heartbeat, one being, one spirit in perfect harmony. It was amazing, perhaps the saying absence makes the heart grow fonder is true, Shepard is not sure, but she sure as hell doesn't want to be this absent from Liara again. After their meld, they held each other as if they were the only two people in the galaxy no longer caring about anything except each other and their unborn child.


	22. Chapter 22

Her 48 hour leave officially over, Shepard left Liara sleeping in their quarters as she greeted her squad mates outside of the Normandy. Everyone seemed happy to be back and Shepard's 'better' spirits did not go unnoticed.

While flying to their destination the mental battle began within Shepard's head constantly reminding her that she is a murderer and Liara is a liar and cannot be trusted. It is exhausting trying to battle the thoughts, but she does because even though there is truth in what she is saying she made a decision.

"Hey Doc," says Shepard as she walks toward the mess hall.

"Hello Shepard."

Stopping her by placing a hand on her forearm, Shepard says, "Karin, I wanted to thank you for helping me."

The doctor doesn't respond and does not look her in the eye.

"I appreciate you helping even though you didn't want to be there and didn't agree with the plan. I am sorry I put you in that situation."

Dr. Chakwas looks at Shepard, "I trust you Shepard, I believed you knew what you were doing, I am just sorry it had to come to that."

"Thank you. Are we good?"

"Yes Captain," says Chakwas, "From your better mood I take it you have reconciled with Liara?"

"I think so yeah…I mean yes we have. We want our marriage to work so I guess this is what they mean by 'work'."

"Well, not everything can be easy I suppose."

It seems like the doctor wants to say more but doesn't and Shepard does not press.

"Well, duty calls," says Shepard as she doesn't really know what more to say, "I will see you later."

* * *

Arriving at their destination Shepard is the first to board the shuttle. She and Nicols are taking the first shift to watch the house containing a Cerberus cell. The last bit of information the Council will get from Kane now that the man is dead thanks to Shepard. Being on the first shift means Shepard gets to have dinner with Liara back on the Normandy.

Liara wakes without Shepard in her arms. She checks the clock and is surprised how long she slept it is almost lunch time. Still feeling groggy she gets out of bed and remembers with a smile the morning her and Shepard shared.

She is so happy Shepard is back and that they both want to work on their marriage. She moves her way up the stairs to Shepard's personal workstation. With a few strokes of the keys she is on her secured private network as the Shadow Broker and gives Glyph, her VI, new search subroutines. She wants to know who in Kane's organization may take over now that the man is dead.

Though she is not happy that she could not kill Kane herself, she is still happy the man who took Shepard is dead. He deserved it. To find every man in his organization will be the final nail in his coffin. After entering all of the data she wants Glyph to find for her and how often to update her, Liara showers and grabs some lunch in the mess hall.

* * *

"So what did you do during your 48 hours Captain?" asks Nicols.

"Not much Nicols, what about you?" Shepard looks at the human woman and sees her blushing a little. "My, my did you meet someone?"

"Guess I can't fool you Captain, I did actually," Nicols cannot help her smile.

After some silence, "Sooo you gonna tell me?" asks Shepard.

Tricia Nicols does not know Shepard very well and is not sure she should be talking about personal stuff with her commanding officer.

"It's okay Nicols, I was just joking. You don't have to tell me anything," says Shepard as she returns her focus onto the monitors which show Cerberus movements outside the house.

"No, I just…just wasn't sure I should I guess."

"Up to you, either way, to see you smiling like you are, I am happy for you."

"He's name is Nathan," Nicols concedes.

Shepard waits for her to continue as she types in a few notes on her omni-tool on what she is seeing.

"He is pretty cute, tall, dark hair. He is a great dancer. We talked a lot, it was, well it was really nice."

"That's great Nicols. Great dancer eh?"

"Oh yeah..what…..why?" wondering why that stands out about the guy.

Laughing, "I just..well you would understand if you ever saw me dance."

Nicols just looks at her.

Another laugh, "I am a horrible dancer. I think it would be great to be a great dancer that's all."

"OOohh, okay," _wow she is kind of weird_ Nicols thinks to herself.

Thinking she needs to explain herself further Shepard says, "I just think it would be nice to be a good dancer. I would love to take Liara dancing; I mean when I dance I tend to fall into people."

It is Nicols turn to laugh, "You can't be _that_ bad."

"Oh believe me." Shepard's smile diminishes instantly the minute she remembers when she last danced. It was with Kane, who she knew as Mitch. She felt so free at the time before bumping into people of course. _Murderer, you are a murderer._

Nicols notices her Captain's sudden mood change. She wonders if she should say something as the silence is a bit awkward. "You will have to show me sometime because I don't believe it," she says with a smile on her face.

This seems to snap Shepard out of her thoughts. "Yeah! Well I will need to be drunk before you see that."

"Okay I am sure everyone will want to see that, so we have to go out soon," laughs Nicols.

"Who is that?" asks Shepard, pointing to the monitor.

Nicols looks at the monitor Shepard is looking at. "Don't know what do you see?"

"He is new; he wasn't on the tapes I watched from William's team. Mark the time."

Nicols marks the time to ensure they can find the man on the vid when necessary. The man is dressed in a suit not in armor as the other men are. He seems to command respect as the other armored men stop to listen to him. He doesn't stay long and a small group of armored men leave before he does, presumably because he ordered it.

"We need to find out who that is," says Shepard.

Nicols takes remote control of one of the many exterior cameras on the house and zooms in.

"He's coming, you ready?" asks Shepard.

"Ready," says Nicols.

The suited man leaves the house and Nicols takes a half dozen still pictures from the camera.

"Run that through our databases."

"Yes Captain."

* * *

Shepard's shift is over and she feels herself getting excited to see Liara. She enters her quarters hoping to find her blue beauty_. No luck, probably in the mess hall already_, she thinks. She turns to leave when she hears her private console beep. Sighing she decides to quickly check her messages. What she finds it not at all expected.

Liara is waiting in the mess hall. She knows Shepard's shift was over twenty minutes ago and yet her bondmate has not yet arrived. She heads for the elevator thinking maybe Shepard stopped in their quarters first. When the elevator doors open she sees Shepard and she does not look very happy.

"Elly, I was wonderin…-"

Shepard steps out of the elevator half way as she does not want the doors to close. "Come with me Liara….now," she says through clenched teeth.

Not sure what has happened Liara enters the elevator, "What's wrong?"

Shepard is clenching and unclenching her fists. Liara reaches for one, but she snatches it away. The elevator doors open and Shepard storms to their quarters, Liara hurries as best she can.

"What is it Elly, has something happened?"

"What the fuck is this!" she yells as she points to her private console.

Her anger scares Liara; the asari has no idea what she could be so upset about. She slowly walks toward the console to see the screen.

The screen displays search results on her subroutines she had Glyph run on Kane's organization.

"I'm waiting Liara, what is that!"

"Elly, I know how this must look."

"Oh I don't think you do, what the hell Liara, you are doing it again you are unbelievable!"

Liara is starting to get furious herself. She is not sure if she should let Shepard continue to talk revealing maybe more than Shepard wants or if she should stop her.

"What was this morning Liara was that more manipulation more lies! I don't believe this. I trusted you, TRUSTED you! You know how hard that is for me and you stab me in the back not 8 hours after sleeping with me!" Shepard starts to pace, she wants to do something with her hands. She looks at the wall but remembers what happened the last time she hit it; she doesn't really want broken bones again.

Remaining calm, but not feeling that way Liara says, "Are you quite finished?"

Shepard's head snaps up, "Don't you take that tone with me; you are in the wrong here Liara!"

Still calm, "Actually I am not Elly and I would appreciate it if you would stop yelling at me." Liara has had about enough of this treatment.

'"Oh it's not huh, so then what is it. Why are you still looking into KANE! He's fucking dead!"

"That's enough!" It's Liara's turn to start yelling. "I had Glyph run new searches because I wanted to give you the information if he found anything on the organization he left behind."

"Why?!"

Calming herself so she is no longer yelling, "Because I wanted to know if anything could be found on his men to see if perhaps one of them would take over. I thought it would be wise to know since they are a growing presence here."

Shepard is not sure what to say, it sounds reasonable. _She is a liar, you can't trust her murderer._

Liara continues, "Elly, I understand that it will take time to earn your trust again, but I do not deserve to be yelled at and will not tolerate it."

Shepard is tempted to ask the asari what is she going to do about it, but doesn't. She jumped to conclusions and of course it was the wrong ones. Is it always going to be like this, wondering if Liara is actually telling her the truth every time they speak to each other?

"You're right Liara, I am sorry for yelling, I just…" she cannot finish the sentence. _I just can't trust you Liara because you are a liar and a manipulator. _

"As I said, I understand," is all Liara says.

Now that Shepard has completely ruined everything she doesn't know what to do, so much for having dinner together.

"Do you still want to have dinner?" asks Shepard.

"Actually, I am a bit tired, I think I am going to lie down," says Liara.

Yep, Shepard ruined everything. Now the asari is mad at her because she jumped to the wrong conclusions. But is it really Shepard's fault, I mean if Liara didn't lie in the first place Shepard would not have accused her of lying now.

"Let me bring up some food at least."

"That is not necessary."

"Well, you need to eat Liara, so I am going to anyway," Shepard leaves to get some food.

_Goddess, I do one search and she goes ballistic_, thinks Liara. It is clear as day to Liara that Shepard has not really moved on. Liara cannot blame her for jumping to the wrong conclusion, but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. I mean to get yelled at for something she didn't even do and that look on her face, she looked so hurt. What have I done to her, is this how it is going to be from now on? _Just for awhile, she needs time._

Is Liara supposed to inform Shepard of every single search she performs, she doesn't share her Shadow Broker information with her. No no, Shepard is going to have to learn to trust her again, she was out of line, but was she? Sure she should not have yelled but that is nothing compared to what Liara did. Just how long will Liara have to put up with these little outbursts, these instances where Shepard does not trust her at all? Liara knows she will have to be patient.

Shepard returns with a tray of food, she sets it down and turns to leave.

"Elly wait."

She stops, but does not turn around.

"Will you join me?"

"I thought you were tired?" she says with her back still turned.

Liara approaches her and places a hand on Shepard's shoulder, "Elly, please eat with me."

Shepard turns around to look at Liara, "I am so sorry Liara, I saw the screen and I didn't even read all of it, I saw Kane's name and ….well I lost it."

"I understand Elly, I really do. I was going to tell you over dinner that I ran the search; I thought you would want to know."

"I shouldn't have talked to you like that Liara, I am sorry."

"It's all right Elly; please eat with me…..please."

Shepard gestures toward the door "Let me go grab a tray."

"Okay."

* * *

"Hey Skipper!" says Ashley.

"Hi Ash," says Shepard as Ashley steps out her ship's shuttle docked on the Normandy.

"Hello Ashley," says Liara.

"Liara, great to see you," she says as she gives the asari a big hug.

"Have you eaten yet Ash?" asks Shepard, "thought we could catch up a little before we dig in."

"Sure," says Ashley.

As they sit in the mess hall Shepard asks "So how is he?"

"He?" asks Liara.

Ashley blushes a little.

Shepard points at her, "Awww look! She's blushing."

Ashley looks left and right to see who may be overhearing them; thankfully there are not a lot of people around.

"Yeeesss, if you must know. And his name is Tyler Ross."

"He is an engineer," says Shepard.

"That's nice Ashley, how long have you two known each other?" asks Liara.

"A few months now."

"Ashley says she may bring him home to meet her family soon," says Shepard.

"Guess I don't have to fill you in Liara, Skipper's got it covered," smiles Ashley.

"Sorry Ash, I am just happy for you."

"It is my understanding in human courting rituals that that is a big step to meet the parents," says Liara.

Laughing, Shepard puts her arms around Liara and gives her a slight squeeze and a kiss on her cheek, "That's my blue beauty, miss know it all."

Liara feels herself blushing.

Laughing Ashley says, "It is a big step."

"So what did you do?" asks Shepard, "or did you not go outside."

"Elly!" Liara playfully slaps Shepard's shoulder.

"Thank you Liara, geez Skipper, don't you think of anything else."

Shepard smiles. _Murderer_. "If you only knew Ashley," she says as her smile slowly fades.

* * *

After briefing Ashley on the movements of Cerberus they get their teams ready.

The house they are breaching has four entryways. In order to avoid cross fire one team is planning on drawing out some of the men using one adjacent house as cover since it sits empty, if necessary.

The man in the suit never returned. Shepard gave pictures of him to Liara to run through her databases to see if she can find out who he is.

Outside the house at the front door is Team 1 comprised of Shepard, Langer and Nicols. In the back is Team 2, Williams, Curtis and Griggs. Team 3 is at the third door and is comprised of Bering, Alhe and Andrews and at the fourth door, Team 4, the one facing the empty adjacent house is Hills and Shannon.

The number of Cerberus agents inside at last count fifteen minutes ago was fifteen, though no one could see into the basement of the house, so that was a risk the teams are ready for.

Shepard is ready and checks in with the teams. "Team 1 in position," she says.

"Team 2 in position, "says Williams, Bering and Hills also sound off that their respective teams are ready to go.

"On my mark," says Shepard as she has her hand on the door handle, "3…..2….1….mark." She quickly walks into the room, steps left as Nicols is right behind her to step to the right. Shepard hears a soft click, "DOWN!" she yells as the front of the house explodes in brilliant red, yellow and black.

Bullets fly through the air some ricocheting some finding their targets as the other teams attempt to breach their doors. Cerberus was waiting for them. The front door was wired for explosives, the agents didn't want to risk bringing the house down so they concentrated the explosive hit on the front door because they knew Shepard would be there.

The man in the suit gave the agents the information they needed. They had no idea they were being watched, no idea that they would soon meet their death, not until the man in the suit showed up. He told them to be ready for people to come through the doors, most likely at each door all at the same time. He told them about Shepard always going first and that the probability of her coming through the front door was very, very high. So they planted explosives by the front door making a pressure plate in the floor the trigger.

The agents gathered together after the man in the suit left to devise their plan. They figured the house would be attacked at night, this was the first night they were preparing for the attack, they were glad they didn't have to wait long.

As Ashley opens her door, she hears in her earpiece Shepard yelling down. As Ashley was hitting the floor to obey she heard the explosion then heard the bullets whiz by her head. She was lucky that she was lying down because had she been crouching she would have gotten hit square in the chest. She returns fire in 3 short bursts on three different occasions. She doesn't look behind her to see if Curtis and Griggs are alright, she doesn't move her eyes from in front of her incase she misses something.

"Report," says Ashley as calmly as she can, she wants the other teams to report in as she waits, scared to move a muscle to see what lies ahead of her.

Hills and Shannon at the door that faces the empty house were to open the door and pretty much wait for any agents to show themselves and retreat to the empty house if necessary. When they heard Shepard yell down they hit the ground keeping their weapons aimed and ready. There were four agents shooting at them and they both returned fire. They were lucky as bullets passed over them, their bullets were straight and true, all four agents lie dead within seconds.

Bering, Alhe and Andrews are on the third door, Bering the first to enter, is not so quick when he hears Shepard yell down. Bullets ricochet off his shields as Alhe tackles him and covers him with her body. Andrews returns fire spraying across the room.

"Report!" yells Ashley.

"Team 4 is okay," says Hills into his mic, "took out four agents, do we enter?"

"Team 3 taking fire, "says Alhe, "Bering is down."

"Team 1 report."

Silence.

"Say again, do we enter?" asks Hills.

Ashley has to think fast, they are down to three teams and they don't know how many agents may or may not be in the basement.

"Enter, watch your fire," she says.

Ashley still sees no movement in front of her, it is dark and there is still smoke that is clearing so she has two options. She either stays where they are sitting ducks or enters and who knows what. She chooses the latter, but before she does she asks if Curtis and Griggs are behind her. She is very relieved when she hears yes and feels a hand on her shoulder. Steeling her courage she enters the house, she goes left while Curtis heads to the right and Griggs down the middle weapons up and ready.

From Griggs' point of view he can see all the way through the house to the front door. It is completely gone along with part of the wall. Small fires are scattered around the area he has to fight against his instincts to run to the area to try to find Shepard and her squad mates.

Gun fire is heard to Team 2's left. Hills and Shannon again take out four agents that were lying in wait for them to round the corner.

Andrews steps into the house and grabs Bering by the ankle to drag him out, while he does that Alhe is covering him. Two agents appear and she quickly fires six shots, three each into each agent dropping them immediately. "Andrews, how is he?"

"He's fine, one bullet got through his shields but it just grazed his shoulder, I am applying gel now."

"Hurry up," says Alhe.

"Team 2 is ready to move to the second floor, report."

Team 3 is good, Bering is fine he is getting patched up, we can take the basement as planned."

"Team 4 can continue watching the floor," says Hills.

"Team 4 you clear this floor then check on Team 1," says Ashley.

"Roger that," comes the reply.

Team 3 meets zero resistance in the basement; they quickly head up to the second floor to help with Team 2.

Hills and Shannon, Team 4, are confident the main floor is clear, they start looking for survivors in the rubble.

Williams and the rest take care of the agents left on the second floor and quickly move up to the third floor.

"Report Team 4," says Ashley. As she moves up the stairwell she can't help but think of Shepard.

"All is clear we are starting to clear debris," says Hills. "Will let you know if we find anything."

Ashley in her distracted state moves out of cover and is met with a spray of bullets. Reflexes kick in and she rolls to cover as her shields beep in loud warning that her shields are failing. Curtis and Griggs in unison enter the room where the spray of bullets originated and spray bullets of their own finding their targets; four agents are crouched in the corner now dead.

Moving to the next room, Alhe, Bering and Andrews line up as they prepare to enter. Alhe pokes her head around the corner and quickly moves back to see if she can draw fire, she draws nothing, no bullets no sound no nothing. Looking behind her to William's team she shrugs her shoulders.

"Wait," says Ashley.

Alhe looks at her again and waits. Ashley holds up what looks like a grenade and she has a smile on her face. She throws the device into the room, there is a loud bang noise followed a very bright light. Alhe, Bering and Andrews enter the room for easy pickings; five agents are huddled covering their eyes trying to see. "Clear!" says Alhe.

Team 2 checks the last room which is empty, "Clear."

Ashley orders Alhe and Andrews to check the bodies while the rest of them head to the main floor to help move debris to find Langer, Nicols and Shepard.


	23. Chapter 23

The weight of rubble on her feels familiar. Her ears ringing Shepard finds it hard to concentrate. She hears gunfire but it sounds so very far away. Breathing is difficult between the plaster dust entering her lungs and the weight of whatever is on top of her.

Assessing her damage Shepard mentally takes stock of her body, her injuries. She cannot move her legs she can't move her body in fact, she is completely immobile. She wiggles her fingers, she thinks they are moving, she does the same with her feet though when she does lancing pain radiates up her right leg into her hip. She thinks she hears shouting but cannot be sure everything is so dark.

Feeling movement of whatever has her pinned she can breathe a bit easier now. There is a bright light that she tries to blink away. Shepard sees a figure but cannot tell who it is. There is a hand on her shoulder now but she cannot speak, cannot move then suddenly it is dark.

Feeling a weird touch on her cheek Shepard thinks maybe she is still in the rubble and feels sand or something hitting her face. As her senses come back to her she feels something very different. That sound what is that sound…_Da_…_Da_. It sounds like a child's voice. Opening her eyes she realizes the thing hitting her in the face is a small blue hand encouraging her to wake up. _Da_…_Da_..there is that sound again, what is it? Turning her head she sees a small asari almost sitting on her chest, could this be the weight I was feeling she wonders. Again with the light slap on her cheek, the little hand raising and falling, attached to a little blue asari. But who is this she wonders. She tries to talk but can't, tries to move but her limbs but they are not responding.

There is a figure, more of a shadow really that approaches and takes the asari child…_Da_…_Da_. When Shepard looks closer at the figure she thinks it is a man. Blinking her eyes she tries to make her vision clear, she still sees the figure but there is no asari child. The figure moves closer, she still cannot see the face but she knows it is a man, a human man in a suit. He leans closer as if to kiss her but moves to her ear to whisper 'murderer, your child will be so proud; it will never be over Shepard'.

Shepard jolts awake gasping for breath, at her sudden movement pain shoots through her entire body. She realizes she is under something, completely pinned. She hears gunfire and shouting. She realizes she was unconscious, must have been dreaming.

When Shepard heard the soft click upon entering the house she instinctively shielded herself with her biotics before she was sent cart wheeling through the air. The explosion blasted her through the ceiling landing her somewhere on the second floor. Trying to get an idea of her injuries she tries to move her arms with no luck. She tries to move her legs and feels sharp pain in her right leg. Shepard concentrates on slowing her breathing, it is very hard to breathe, whatever is on her seems to be slowly crushing her to death.

* * *

"I found someone, over here!" yells Shannon.

Buried under plaster and bits of the wall lies Tricia Nicols, the arm that is visible from the rubble is slack. Shannon bends near and holds the woman's hand, "Hey hang in there, we are going to get you out."

Bering, Curtis, Griggs and Hills quickly start moving the debris while Ashley Williams continues to look.

The explosives that were set destroyed the front door as well as half of the wall. The small fires that are tattered around are no real threat, the fires are not spreading. The piles of rubble are all over the place making the search for Nicols, Langer and Shepard very difficult.

As Williams continues her search she hopes and prays that the arm found is attached to Captain Shepard, she likes Langer and Nicols, but Shepard….well she just has to be alive.

Ashley makes her way to what was the kitchen and trips over something. Picking herself up she sees a boot. "Over here!" she yells and starts digging out whoever is buried.

* * *

Liara cannot sleep; the baby is keeping her up with her kicking. The asari smiles when she remembers the first time she felt her little one kick, she was so happy Shepard was home at the time to feel it. To see the human woman's face light up as if a child on Christmas morning was something Liara will never forget.

She checks Shepard's private terminal to see if Glyph has found anything regarding the pictures that were given to her by Shepard. The man was in a suit, tall, dark hair, very good looking for a human male. Did not appear to be too old, perhaps around Shepard's age, it is hard for Liara to tell. This man commanded respect said Shepard, so maybe he is high up in Kane's organization; well he is not on the bottom rung at any rate.

Checking the console there are no results yet, subroutines are still processing. There are a lot of pictures in the various databases she is accessing, so any result will take time.

Shepard is taking the Cerberus house right now, Liara worries for her, wonders if they are done and are on their way back. Liara has trouble sleeping without her bondmate with her, she misses her warmth, and the security she feels when she is close.

Liara decides to wrap herself in a robe and head for the mess hall for some tea perhaps that will calm her enough to fall back asleep.

* * *

Waking in a room she does not recognize, Shepard does not hear the hum of the Normandy. The lights are bright, she must be in a hospital she thinks, why are the lights always so damn bright. She opens her eyes. She tries to lift her head but a rush of nausea floods over her, she quickly lets her head drop back down taking deep breaths. She tries her arms and legs but cannot move them, what is going on.

She hears a loud bang; she is able to turn her head to the sound's origin. She sees a figure approaching her holding something that is very shiny. So shiny in fact it reflects the bright lights in the room and blinds her momentarily. She closes her eyes until she no longer feels the blinding reflection on her eyes, as she opens them she sees a figure , but it is black, as if a shadow. Not understanding what is going on she tries to speak but nothing comes out.

She feels a hot rush of pain hit her stomach, she tries to scream but can't. The figure does not move but something is hurting her, she feels it again, a piercing pain in her hip she wants to scream wants to call out for help she wants to know who the figure is but she cannot move, she is forced to endure whatever is happening to her. In an instant the figure is at her ear 'murderer, it will never be over'. Something slices into her and she is able to find her voice now.

* * *

Moving the debris off of whoever's hand Shannon is holding is slow work. Griggs, Curtis and Bering are working as fast as they can; Hills joins Williams as she also found a body. Moving enough of the debris, Shannon recognizes the body as belonging to Nicols. "Hang in there Nicols, we are getting you out." He can't see any of her injuries yet just a cut on her cheek, she is lying face down and only her back and head are visible.

Williams and Hills are able to move their debris pile pretty quickly. Whoever this body is they didn't take the brunt of the explosion, knowing that Williams suspects this is not Shepard. She knows Shepard was the first to enter the house and would have taken the most damage, but where the hell is she.

Alhe and Andrews are finishing their sweep of the third floor as ordered. They stayed behind to check all of the Cerberus agents. If any were alive they put a bullet in their head. As they reach the second floor Alhe thinks she hears something, "Did you hear that?" she asks as she raises her hand to signal quiet.

They sit in silence for a minute and hear nothing. "Let's get downstairs," says Andrews, "we need to help."

But Alhe stops him, "No, we need to check the bodies here, come on."

Moving room to room they find all Cerberus agents dead, no need to waist any more ammunition. Ready to head down to the main floor Alhe hears it again, "Wait."

"Come on we need to go help," says Andrews clearly inpatient.

But Alhe isn't swayed, she does not know what she hears but she hears something. She approaches a pile of debris and notices the hole in the floor. Upon closer inspection she sees something shift under the pile, not able to see a body she has no doubt the pile holds one. "Oh my God, help me!" she yells as she frantically starts to remove the debris.

* * *

Feeling for a pulse Shannon is relieved to find one from Nicols. Stroking her hair away from her bloody face he continues to whisper to her that she will be out soon and to hold on.

It is not a fun job to hold onto a soldier's hand when they are injured or dying. It only reminds the person that they are mortal. That they are lucky to not be injured or dying and feeling guilty because they are relieved it is not them. Shannon would rather be digging her out, but feels it is important to continue to talk to her, who knows maybe she can actually hear him.

The last piece of debris gone they scan Nicols body. Internal bleeding from a punctured lung, ribs are broken and her back well it's not good. Dr. Chakwas is on her way and should be arriving soon; they know not to move her.

Bering, Griggs and Curtis join Williams and Hills as they unearth a body, they know the boot belongs to a man, so it is obviously Langer. When Williams is able to check for a pulse, she finds one, but it is weak. All five of them increase their speed to get him free.

* * *

"We found Shepard!" says Alhe as her hands bleed from moving bits of house off of her Captain.

The remaining squad mates share a collective sigh but are waiting to hear if she is alive.

Williams says, "Dr. Chakwas is on her way, Nicols and Langer have been found, sending Griggs to help you."

Griggs joins Alhe and Andrews as they move debris off of Shepard. They clear her head and chest first; she seems to be having difficulty breathing and is unconscious. As they continue their efforts, the three hear a creaking; it is not a good creaking sound. They feel the floor under them suddenly fall sending all four to the floor below.

As if another explosion occurred the rumbling noise alone was deafening as part of the second floor gives way. A large cloud of smoke billows throughout the main floor spraying dust everywhere, forcing people on the first floor to cover their mouths and faces.

A few tense seconds pass before Williams is heard over everyone's ear piece, "Report." The smoke is too thick she cannot see anything.

Hills, Shannon, Bering and Curtis chime in, but she hears nothing from the people who were digging Shepard out.

* * *

The shuttle carrying Dr. Chakwas lands, she and her assistants exit. It is in the middle of the night so visibility is not ideal. Liara wanted to come but Chakwas insisted she stay on the Normandy, she did not want to risk Liara possibly falling or breathing in something that would harm the baby. Through her tears Liara agreed.

Steve Cortez with his flashlight leads the doctor and her team to the house. Neighbors are awake now gawking at the half demolished house, thankfully there are not a lot of people outside getting in the way.

Local law enforcement is also on the way with their emergency vehicles, extra man power is needed said Williams when she called for assistance.

Tricia Nicols is conscious now, Shannon holding her hand, keeping her talking.

Chakwas checks on Langer as he is the closest to where the front door used to be. He is alive, but still unconscious. She next moves to Nicols. Runs a scan and does not like what she sees. "Get her on a stretcher now; get her back to the Normandy." It is the only option as the emergency vehicles have yet to arrive. Steve said it would be about a twenty minute round trip, Chakwas has to work with what she has. She sends an assistant to go with Nicols to get her stable before surgery; the doctor is most concerned about her back. They put a stabilizer on Nicols as she tries not to scream out at the pain, Shannon squeezing her hand. They get her on a stretcher once the stabilizer is secure; it prevents her back from moving out of position. Chakwas believes her back is broken; stabilizing the injury is meant to prevent further damage.

Hills is with Langer now waiting for his body to be moved, while Williams, Curtis and Bering look for Alhe, Griggs, Andrews and Shepard. As they approach the new pile of rubble they hear coughing, which is a good sign. Flashing her omni-tool in the direction of the cough Williams sees Griggs, "You okay Griggs?"

He nods as he continues his coughing. The dust is heavy and thick. Williams almost trips again, she points her light down to see a boot that moves at the contact. Crouching down and following the boot up to a calf Williams says, "Who is this?

""It's Alhe."

"Alhe, you okay?" asks Williams as she starts to remove flooring off of her.

"Yeah," she coughs.

"Where's Shepard?" asks Williams as she tries to keep her voice calm, though she is not doing a very good job of it.

"I was over her," says Alhe as she moves onto her hands and knees. She lifts her omni-tool to shine a light in front of her. "She should be…here!" Alhe sees a hand and starts clearing away the debris, Ashley joins her.

In the meantime Curtis has found Andrews who is sitting up while Curtis tends to the man's injured leg.

Griggs and Bering join the two women with moving the debris off of Shepard. It is bad enough she was blown to the second floor but to fall down a floor, well they have no idea what they will find once the rubble is removed.

"Skipper can you hear me?" shouts Ashley.

Her helmet and chest are exposed now. Thankfully Shepard was wearing her helmet; there is a large dent in it that no doubt would have killed her had she not been wearing it. They do not touch her helmet for now. The last large piece of flooring is removed exposing the rest of her body, she is completely still. Her right leg is clearly broken.

"Step aside," says Chakwas as she bends down for a closer look. Shepard's right leg is broken; the bone is exposed below the knee. Chakwas quickly covers the wound to try to reduce risk of infection due to all of the grim and dust. Her initial scans look good, she has seen Shepard in worse condition, but she does not like her shallow breathing. A lung is clearly punctured due to multiple rib fractures, Chakwas is amazed she is not more hurt.

"She must have shielded herself," says Curtis as he notices the shocked look on the doctor's face.

"I think you are right Curtis," she replies.

They hear the shuttle land outside, it has returned from dropping off Nicols. "Let's move her, be careful," says Chakwas. Before they do she leans down and tells Shepard to hang on and that she is safe and that Liara is waiting for her.

The shuttle takes off carrying Langer and Shepard along with Alhe, Andrews, Bering and Hills. Spectre Ashley Williams stays behind along with Griggs and Curtis to speak to the local law enforcement forces that are starting to arrive. Her job is to communicate how what happened tonight is Spectre business. The great thing about being a Spectre is she doesn't really answer to anyone but the Council; it comes in very handy when things need to be handled quickly or swept up under the rug.

* * *

The shuttle returns to the Normandy and Liara is anxiously waiting for the doors to open, she of course stands to the side. Two stretchers emerge from the shuttle hurrying to the elevator. Liara sees Shepard on one of them then sees Chakwas, "How is she?" Liara asks keeping up with the doctor as best she can.

"I will know more when I get upstairs Liara," the doctor replies. "Right now she looks okay." She thinks Shepard will make a full recovery but doesn't want to give false hope since she was unable to run more detailed scans on the ground.

Entering the med bay now, Nicols is prepped for surgery according to the assistant. "Get her sedated," says Chakwas as she points to Nicols.

"Set her here, Langer there," says Chakwas. Shepard is transferred to a med bed and Chakwas quickly runs a scan. As she suspected the Captain has sustained five broken ribs, a punctured lung and a compound fracture on her leg. She knows Shepard will need a hospital to adequately treat her leg, but she can have the wound cleaned and dressed while she operates on Nicols.

She along with her assistant Lucy, remove Shepard's helmet. There is a cut on her head from where the helmet concaved in. Running another scan she does not have a skull fracture, but does have a mild concussion.

Dr. Chakwas has to work on the priority case, in this instance it is not Shepard. She leaves Langer to one of her capable assistants while Chakwas moves to the back of the med bay to perform surgery. Before heading to the back she quickly glances at Liara who is standing in the corner out of the way. "Liara, she is going to be just fine. We will need to get to a hospital to treat her leg, I already ordered Joker to move as soon as we are able. I am going to have Lucy fix her punctured lung while I operate on Tricia, okay?"

Liara doesn't like that someone other than Chakwas is working on her bondmate, but she understands the doctor would not allow just anyone to help Shepard. She nods as she approaches the bed to hold Shepard's hand. "I am here Elly," she says in the woman's ear, "you are safe now Elly, come back to me."

Lucy lowers a shield over Shepard forcing the hand holding to stop as Liara backs up to watch the assistant work. Punching something in the screen the machines take over, a needle slowly plunges into Shepard's arm to sedate her even though she is already unconscious and gets to work on repairing her lung and ribs.

* * *

Joker lands the Normandy at Alliance HQ in New York, there were closer hospitals but Chakwas wanted New York because it was not that much father and because the hospital is one of the best on Earth. It was one of the first buildings to be rebuilt and made operational.

Accompanied by Liara, Bering and Alhe, Shepard's body is moved to the hospital where a restructuring device can be attached to her leg to rebuild the bone.

Nicols who is stable is finished with surgery; she too is moved to the hospital. Her spine intact, Dr. Chakwas feels the biotic soldier will make a full recovery.

Langer remains in the Normandy med bay; he has a concussion, no broken bones.

Langer was the last to enter the house and Nicols was quick enough when Shepard yelled down to shield herself and Langer before they were blown by the blast.

Not usually looking for preferential treatment because of who Shepard is, Liara is grateful that she has a private room. The device is now on her leg rebuilding her bone; it is the same leg that was smashed by Brad Whitmore when she was tortured.

Hearing her moan Liara squeezes her hand and brushes away stray hair from her eyes, "Elly?"

Waking now Shepard is not sure if she is dreaming or not, she half expects a shadowy figure to be lurking over her. As she opens her eyes she is aware of someone holding her hand, instantly she knows it is Liara, she would know her touch anywhere. She feels her hand on her forehead too which produces a smile.

"Elly," Liara sees the smile, stands from her chair and kisses her on her forehead. "Can you hear me?"

"Hey you," says Shepard.

Relief floods the asari, "Hey yourself," she replies.

Opening her eyes fully now Shepard raises her head to look at Liara.

"No no, stay down."

Her head spinning Shepard gladly follows orders. "Um Liara," she says.

"Yes Elly?" asks Liara as she strokes the human's cheek.

"You didn't have the baby did you?"

"What? Of course not…why…are you sure you are okay Elly?"

"Fine," she slurs, still very tired. "I must have been dreaming." Shepard turns her head to look at her. "God you're beautiful."

Liara smiles knowing the drugs are still taking affect. She leans over and kisses Elly fully on the lips. "You rest now Elly, I will be here when you wake."

"Wait," says Shepard suddenly.

"What is it?"

"Everyone else, Nicols and Langer and…-"

"All are fine," Liara says as she puts her hand on Shepard's shoulder. "You rest now Elly, you need sleep."

Eyes half lidded Shepard says, "Make sure you eat something….Li" she drifts off.

Liara kisses her cheek and sits thanking her Goddess.


	24. Chapter 24

Shepard woke to an empty hospital room. Her leg is still contained in the restructuring device. Her head does not spin as much when she lifts it and her ribs are still a bit stiff. Though she heals quickly Shepard prefers not getting hurt in the first place.

Her mouth is dry and the water is just out of reach. Looking through the window to the door she doesn't see anyone in the hall to wave at, she wonders where Liara could be. She reaches with her hand; she feels the edge of the plastic cup with the tip of her middle finger. Adjusting herself in the bed to move her hips just a bit biting back the pain in her leg at the weird angle, she reaches again. She has a firmer grip now, pulls it slowly toward her but loses her grip when she shifts her hips too much. Shepard winces at the pain in her leg while the glass falls to the floor, the contraption on her leg is sounding an alarm. _Shit_ she thinks to herself.

A man walks in and quickly presses something on the restructuring device to stop the alarm. Shepard is too busy trying to clench through the pain to see who it is.

"You okay Elly?"

She jolts in surprise at hearing her first name coming from, well not Liara. She looks up to see a human man in an Alliance uniform. _It can't be_. "Ben?"

Bending down he picks up the empty glass, "You need some water?"

Adjusting herself back to a more comfortable spot, Shepard says, "Please. What are you doing here?"

Shepard never thought she would see Ben again. She met him in her second year with the Alliance; they were squad mates before they became more.

Pouring water for her, he hands her the cup. "Here ya go."

Taking a drink she feels she can talk now. What can she say though; she broke this man's heart. "You didn't answer me."

"Oh sorry, I am visiting a friend. He is getting released later today; he has one of those things on his leg too. It's fascinating; soon your leg will be good as new."

Silence. Shepard doesn't know what to say, she is not even sure how she feels about seeing him again.

Clearing his throat Ben asks, "How ya been?"

"Fine."

"Good…that's good. I uh…"

Looking at him now, he is very, very good looking. Dark hair cut very short, muscular frame, great arms, Shepard always loved the feel of his arms around her, she stops looking at him in hopes to stop her mind going down memory lane.

Her relationship with Ben was not an easy one. She did not trust any man after what Brad Whitmore attempted when she was just sixteen years old, she figured they all wanted one thing and would be nice to her just long enough to get it, then leave her behind. Ben was different. They hung out together for a long, long time and he never seemed to expect anything from her. It was after two years of knowing each other before sex was even brought up, hell it took almost a year before Shepard allowed him to kiss her.

"You what?" she asks.

"Well, I have an ulterior motive."

Her eyes narrow, old instincts kicking in. "What?" she asks in a dry tone.

"I heard you were here. I kind of took a detour to get to this floor. I ….well I wanted to see you."

"Why?"

"Hell Elly, it's been so long I wanted to see if it was really you. You look good."

She wants to say you do too, way too good in fact. "Thanks, you too."

Liara stops just outside the room, the door is slightly ajar. She sees a man in the room. She can see that Elly seems to know him. Feeling a bit guilty, she remains close in order to hear their conversation.

"Sooo…thanks," he says.

"For what?"

"For saving my life, for saving the whole damn galaxy," he smiles.

"I didn't do it alone Ben give me a break. I am sure you did your part."

"Yeah well, I didn't shoot the weapon that took those fuckers out."

"Yeah yeah."

"I see it is still hard for you to take a compliment."

At this statement Elly breaks eye contact. All she can think is that yes it is still true. She feels too vulnerable, he knows her too well, and she doesn't like it.

"So what time does your friend get released?"

He knows she is uncomfortable. "Trying to get rid of me so soon?"

Silence.

"So I heard you got married, that true?" Ben continues.

"Yes," she can't help the smile that appears on her face. "Her name is Dr. Liara..-"

"T'Soni yeah. I think I may have seen her in the hallway. She is beautiful Elly, I'm happy for you."

Feeling very uncomfortable now, Shepard asks "What about you?"

Almost laughing, "Me, oh no. I haven't been able to find anyone that stands up to you."

She looks at him and his smile seems true enough, was he joking, Shepard could not tell. "I'm sorry Ben."

"What..why?"

Trying not to cry "I didn't mean to hurt you."

Reaching for her out of old habit, he touches her shoulder, "Hey..hey I was joking Elly, really. I have someone. I'm sorry; I forgot how sensitive you can be about this stuff."

Not knowing if she should or not, Shepard takes his hand and holds it in both of hers, rubbing his knuckles with her thumb. "I'm sorry I could not give you more Ben," she says as she cannot look at him.

He knows what she is talking about. He fell hard for her, but Shepard, well she was so closed off to people. Hearing about what happened to her parents on Mindoir and her close friend T.J., she had to be almost falling down drunk before she shared anything about herself. He still remembers that night, the night she cried and let him hold her. She never allowed herself to take comfort from someone else, she felt it was weakness. Truth be told it was exhausting trying to peel the layers away, but when one would finally reveal something within it gave him renewed hope that she was worth the effort.

Seeing her now, trying to hold back tears, he strokes her cheek oh so lightly with the back on his fingers of his free hand.

Shepard jumps at the contact and lets go of his hand.

"You ever gonna let yourself be happy Elly?"

A tear escapes and trickles down her cheek as she looks at Ben. Her throat closes and all she can manage is a nod as she wipes away her tear.

"I trust the doctor treats you well?" He knows not to press her too hard, when he did that she shut down.

Letting out a small laugh, "Yes. She's great, I love her a lot. We're pregnant."

Liara is overhearing every word that is being said. She is a bit jealous of this man; he seems to know her very well. But she trusts Shepard, and continues to listen to see if he can be trusted.

"Really, wow. So how does that work exactly, I mean you're both women."

Smiling, "She's asari Ben, they can reproduce with any gender of any species. I will be the father."

"That's a bit weird."

"Yeah, well it does take some getting used to. I tell you, and don't get mad, but when I look at Liara, I can't remember seeing anything so beautiful in my whole life. And I don't mean the outside, her heart; she has such a gentle heart. She has taught me a lot Ben. Like you have."

"Me?"

"Yeah." Finding her courage she looks him straight in the eye, "You taught me how to trust again. You were so patient with me, I can't believe how patient. You are a catch Ben, I just wasn't ready back then, I'm sorry."

"Enough of that. I learned a lot from you too."

"Yeah," she grumps, "like what, how to endure many cold showers?"

"Nah…You taught me that another person's heart is one to be cherished, not used."

Surprised at his delicate words Shepard almost feels like she is going to cry again, but she stops herself. She feels this conversation is getting too deep. "You should stick around, Liara should be coming back soon, and you can meet her."

It is a toxic feeling, jealousy. Thankfully Liara does not feel it too often. Elly told her about Ben when they first admitted their feelings for each other. She remembers how nervous Elly was talking to her, Shepard hates talking about her feelings, well the not so good ones anyway. She spent one night with him and that was all, Elly explained that she felt too broken to be with him, she couldn't handle the intimacy, which explained a lot when she and Liara were finally able to get intimate.

Hearing Ben say that someone's heart is to be cherished not used, Liara agreed that she too learned that from her bondmate. Before her feelings of guilt grow, Liara decides to enter the room.

"There she is," says Shepard as Liara enters the room. Liara sees such a genuine smile on her face she cannot help but return her own smile.

"Hello," says Liara.

"Liara, this is Ben Richardson, Ben this is my bondmate Dr. Liara T'Soni."

Liara loves the formality of the introduction, she loves hearing Shepard call her her bondmate.

Extending a hand Liara says, "Hello Ben, it is nice to meet you."

"Dr. T'Soni, nice to meet you too," he says with a smile. Liara can't help but see what Elly saw in him, he has a very nice smile and a very warm personality. "I was just catching up with the Commander here, oh wait…Captain now. I should probably get going."

"I hope you are not leaving on my account," says Liara.

"Not at all, I am picking up a friend and he should be ready to go soon." He turns to Elly. He looks at Shepard and raises his eyebrows to indicate 'good catch'. "I understand congratulations are in order," he says to Liara gesturing to her swelling belly.

"Thank you," she tips her head.

"Well Elly, it was great seeing you again," though maybe not the most appropriate thing to do in front of Liara, he leans in to whisper in her ear, "Let yourself be happy Elly." He stands up with a smile to both of them. "Take care," he says as he walks out the door.

Whatever he said to her, Liara can tell from her face that she is holding back tears. If she had not listened in on their conversation she probably would have reacted in anger, that perhaps he said something to hurt her.

Reaching for her hand Liara asks, "You okay Elly?"

Sniffing a little, "Yeah, it was just weird seeing him." Shepard looks at Liara after kissing her hand. "Is it weird for you…to meet him I mean?"

Not sure how to answer Liara says "A little."

"Yeah, sorry about that, he just showed up."

Sitting beside her Shepard notices a sad look on the asari. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I have something to admit Elly and I am ashamed."

"What?"

"I was listening in on your conversation."

Flashing her sly grin Shepard replies, "Ooooh really?"

"Yes, I was not sure who he was; I wanted to make sure you were okay. Once I did that, I…"

"You stayed and listened?" Shepard finished for her.

Not looking at her, "Yes."

Still holding her hand Shepard squeezes it, "Hey."

Liara looks at her.

"It's okay Liara. If you had someone in your life before we met and they were visiting you, I probably would have done the same thing."

"You are not mad?"

Giggling a little, "No, I think you are cute when you are jealous." Shepard flashes her sly grin again, raising her eyebrows. "Thanks for telling me Liara and believe me, you have nothing to be jealous of, I love you."

"And I love you Elly."

* * *

"Hey Nicols, how's it going?" asks Alhe.

Tricia Nicols is recovering from surgery in a room not far from where Shepard is recovering. Thanks to Dr. Chakwas skill, she is going to make a full recovery, but physical therapy will be needed.

"Hey Jen," she replies. She seems down, who can blame her.

"How's your pain?"

"It sucks," says Nicols. The two women became fast friends when they were assigned to the Normandy. Nicols is happy that Alhe is here with her now.

"You need me to get the doctor?"

"No, I got this thing." She shows Alhe a small device. "I just hit this button and it releases a specific amount of medicine and the pain subsides."

"Nice," laughs Alhe.

"Yeah," she's not laughing.

"Can you over do it?"

"No, it only allows so much, it's based on duration or something like that. I am trying not to use it."

"Well don't do that, obviously you need it," Alhe says concerned.

"I can't believe they left a fucking bomb, is that what it was?"

"Not sure exactly yet, but we did find out how they planted it without us seeing it on the cameras."

"Let me guess, someone tapped into the feed and created a loop?"

"You guessed it," says Alhe.

Cutting into the camera feed to display a loop would display a room that appeared empty but in fact had people in it, this is how the Cerberus agents were able to set the trap by the front door.

"Do we know who the man in the suit is yet?"

"Not yet no."

"You don't think…"

Looking at her, Alhe asks "What?"

"I don't know. The guy we picked up a few nights ago…Kane? Maybe it wasn't really him."

"It was the guy from the bar, Shepard recognized him, we didn't because we hardly saw his face when we were watching her."

"Doesn't mean it was Kane."

Furrowing her brows, "Do you really think it wasn't Kane, I mean my God, what do we tell Shepard?" asks Alhe.

"I don't think we tell her anything until we know for sure, but if Kane is not dead, I don't think she is safe, neither one of them are."

"Well we have to tell them, I mean Liara's pregnant."

"But what if we are wrong?"

"Then we are wrong, but in the meantime they can maybe get extra security for their house or something. I would rather err on the side of caution Tricia."

"Yeah..yeah I know…sorry," Nicols says as she winces. "Sorry Jen, I gotta push this," she pushes the button that sends strong pain relief straight to her veins, forcing her to fall asleep.

Jen Alhe knows she needs to speak with Shepard, this cannot wait.

* * *

Watching Shepard sleep Liara finishes the last of her meal when Jen Alhe enters the room. Liara stands to meet the woman.

"Hi Dr. T'Soni," Alhe says not too loudly as she sees Shepard sleeping.

"Ensign Alhe, what can I do for you?"

"Umm, I kind of wanted to talk to both of you."

"Well, she just dozed off. The restructuring device should be done in a couple of hours then she will be able to leave," says Liara.

"I don't think it can wait that long."

Alhe looks nervous which is making Liara feel very uneasy.

"What is it Ensign?"

"I am not sure how to say this."

Liara waits.

"I was just talking to Nicols; she seems to think that maybe the man we captured the other night was not Kane."

Alhe is not sure but Liara seems to have turned pale. "Dr. T'Soni?" says Alhe as she reaches her hand out to grab Liara's arm as the asari is wavering a bit on her feet. "Here sit down."

Liara's heart is beating so fast she cannot catch her breath. Her hand clutches at her chest.

"Dr. T'Soni, do you need a doctor, what is it…shit…try to calm down…take deep breaths."

Guiding the asari to sit down Alhe leaves quickly to find a doctor while Liara tries to slow her breathing.

How can Kane still be alive it is not possible, she is shocked at this news, what will Shepard do, what will happen to Shepard?

Hearing her trying to catch her breath Shepard opens her eyes at the noise. She sees Liara sitting holding her chest, she looks pale. Sitting up, "Liara, what is it?"

Liara looks at her, Shepard sees panic in her eyes. She is too far to touch, so Shepard takes a deep breath knowing what she is about to do is pretty stupid, she lunges off the bed in hopes to reach Liara. She screams out in pain, yep it was stupid. The device is attached to the ceiling which does not give way, the device itself does not give way, but makes a beeping noise, so Shepard is now half hanging upside down and not close to Liara as she hoped.

Alhe enters the room and if she was not so worried about Liara, she would probably laugh at her Captain because lets face it, hanging half upside down looks pretty funny no matter who it is. A doctor is right behind Alhe, "There Doc," she says as Alhe point to Liara. Alhe then rushes to Shepard's side.

Shepard clenching her teeth together grabs Alhe around the neck as Alhe picks her up to get her back on the bed.

"Dr. T'Soni take deep breaths with me now," says the doctor.

"What happened?" groans Shepard as Alhe helps her get settled.

"I think she is having a panic attack or something," says Alhe.

"Why?"

Alhe ignores her Captain, doesn't want to try to explain it until Liara settles down.

"That's it, another one," says the doctor. Liara seems to be calming down a bit, her color is returning. "Good good, that's it, one more," he coaxes.

"Good," the doctor continues, "Can you tell me what happened?" She asks Liara.

She is still sitting too far away for Shepard to try to comfort. "I…I am not sure," says Liara. "It felt like I could not catch my breath."

"Is it the baby?" asks Shepard as she winces again.

Alhe places her hand on Shepard's shoulder to try to get her to stop moving.

The doctor replies, "It doesn't appear so, but I would like to bring her to our obstetrician department to let them run tests.

Shepard props herself up on her elbows, trying not to flinch in pain, "I am going with you."

"You are in no cond…-"

"I am not letting her out of my sight!" yells Shepard.

"I will go with her Captain," says Alhe who has not moved her hand off Shepard's shoulder. "I'll keep her safe Shepard."

Shepard looks at Alhe; she is grateful to her, but furious that she cannot go herself. "You better Alhe."

Alhe knows she is serious, very serious. She approaches Liara to help the asari out of the chair.

"Get her a chair to wheel her in!" yells Shepard, "Don't make her walk."

The doctor flinches at her voice. "I'll be right back."

"I am okay Elly," says Liara.

"The hell you are Liara, what the hell happened Alhe?"

Alhe feels Liara's hand on her forearm squeezing as if to warn her to not say anything, which is confirmed when Alhe meets the asari's eyes. "I don't know Shepard."

The doctor returns with a wheelchair followed by another doctor. "Check her leg," she says gesturing to Shepard's leg.

Alhe helps Liara ease into the wheelchair. "I'll take care of her Shepard," says Alhe as she starts to follow the first doctor out.

"I will be fine Elly, I will be back soon," says Liara.

The group leaves the room. Shepard lies back down on the bed not hiding her extreme discomfort. "What's the prognosis Doctor?" she asks the new doctor.

The woman doctor has a look on her face, a not too happy look. "I'm afraid I have bad news."

Wincing again at the throbbing pain that is radiating up her leg, Shepard doesn't want to ask but does, "What?"

"Moving your leg as you did during the restructuring well is not good."

"Just spit it out," says Shepard, she knows it won't be good whatever the doctor is afraid to tell her.

"I am afraid I have to re-break your leg in order for it to heal properly."

Shepard really hates being right.


	25. Chapter 25

Kane is not Mitch; Mitch is not Kane this cannot be. Alhe told Shepard what Nicols suspected that perhaps the man they picked up a few nights ago was maybe not Kane; this would explain the man in the suit at the house they just survived.

No no no, how can this be. Shepard never knew what Kane looked like. She met a man named Mitch in a bar, he had approached her and they talked on two different occasions. The man they took, the man she had strapped to a table, the man she killed, that man was Mitch. He never gave any indication that he was not Kane, even when she approached him while he got up from his bed waiting for her and her team to take him he seemed to agree that Mitch and Kane were the same man. How is this possible?

Shepard lies in her hospital bed waiting for the restructuring device to finish rebuilding her bone as she tries to wrap her head around everything. Liara is fine she had what the doctors call a panic attack. She insisted Alhe take her to a nearby hotel to rest, the baby is okay but how much stress can the asari take.

Shepard feeling much like a hypocrite asked Liara to take the pictures they had of Mitch, which they took while watching him before taking him away, and comparing it to the pictures Liara has of all of the visitors Peter Jones had in prison. Jones was a cellmate to Brad Whitmore the man who tortured Shepard, Brad got Kane's name from Jones. Liara told Shepard that even though the men in the pictures who visited Peter Jones are from a few years back she could use facial recognition programs to see if a current picture of Mitch matches to a picture taken of him from years ago, this would prove that Mitch and Kane are the same man.

Nicols has to be wrong it makes no sense that the man is not Kane; this is what Shepard is thinking as she waits for the device to finish rebuilding her bone. Nicols is on heavy duty pain killers she has to be wrong, she just has to be. Shepard feels bad enough for killing Kane while he was defenseless and unarmed, but if Kane is not Mitch well she doesn't allow her mind to go there, not yet at least.

Shepard also sent a message to Councilor Tevos with a current picture of Mitch to ask her to confirm that he is the same man, she has yet to hear back. Now all she can do is wait and Shepard hates waiting.

Her omni-tool beeps, Shepard answers.

"Hello Shepard," says Councilor Tevos.

"Councilor, thank you for returning my call. Do you have confirmation on Kane?"

Shepard notices the councilor tense.

"I am sorry Shepard, we are not aware of what Kane looks like."

_You have got to be kidding me_. "I don't understand."

"Our dealings with him were not in person."

Shepard is speechless.

"Shepard?"

"How did you work with him?"

"He provided intel on the Cerberus cells via message, we spoke only a few times and there was no vid display."

"What about Squid? Can you arrange a meeting?" Squid is one of the men that worked with Kane in Shepard's kidnapping.

"I'm sorry Shepard, Nathan Bender is dead."

* * *

"You get enough to eat Liara?" asks Alhe. The woman solider told Shepard she would stay with Liara until Shepard was discharged from the hospital.

"I did yes thank you Jen," says Liara.

"I feel I have to apologize again Liara, I should not have sprung Tricia's theory on you like that."

"You can stop apologizing; you did not know I was going to respond in that way." Liara checks her omni-tool, she will be notified once the programs she is running are done compiling, and she is checking it to make sure she didn't miss the notification.

Liara is nervous. She does not want Kane or the idea of him to slither his way back into their lives. She is ready to let go, but now she is doing more research because Shepard needs it. The subroutines she ran to identify the man in the suit outside of the house that exploded returned no results. The man was not in any of the law enforcement databases, spectre databases or her Shadow Broker databases; it was like he was a ghost. Liara is waiting for the facial recognition programs to return results to see if Mitch and Kane are the same man.

Liara sighs when she sees the programs are not complete yet.

"You okay?" asks Alhe when she hears the sigh.

"Yes, I … I was just hoping for some answers," she gestures to her omni-tool.

"Still no word?"

Liara shakes her head, "No, not yet."

"I am sure something will turn up soon."

"I hope you are right," says Liara.

* * *

"Hey Doc, I hope your visit means this device is done."

The woman smiles, "Need I remind you Shepard that you would have been out of here yesterday had you not decided to take a swan dive off of your bed."

Raising her eyebrows Shepard replies, "You're in a good mood." Shepard likes this doctor. She helped calm Shepard down after her stupid 'swan dive' when Liara was wheeled to the obstetrician department. "You know there are not a lot of people that would insult me like that doctor."

Dr. Kilmer looks at Shepard and just smiles as she removes the outer casing of the restructuring device. "How is your pain?"

"Manageable. The ribs are a bit sore but no big deal."

The doctor removes the rest of the casing freeing the captain's leg. Shepard quickly starts scratching her lower leg, a slight groan escapes and she seems quite pleased.

The doctor smiles, "You ready to try it?" she of course is referring to the leg.

"Yes," says Shepard as she swings her legs over the side of the bed.

The doctor moves close to Shepard to put her hand under Shepard's elbow. Shepard stands placing all her weight on her left leg first. Once upright she shifts her weight slowly onto her right leg to see if it can handle it. Smiling Shepard is thrilled that her leg feels fine and can handle the weight.

"This mean I can get out of this place?"

"It does Shepard. It has been…interesting to say the least," says Dr. Kilmer.

Walking on her own now Shepard turns to the doctor, "You're lucky I like you Doc. Hopefully I won't ever see you again," says Shepard as she flashes her sly grin.

* * *

Liara and Jen hear a knock at the hotel door. "I got it" says Alhe as she checks the vid screen to see who is at the door. Seeing that it is Shepard she does not equip her sidearm as she opens the door.

"Hi Shepard, you look good," says Alhe.

"Alhe," the captain says as she enters the room. "Where's Lia…" Shepard sees Liara in the main part of the hotel room, "Hey Liara how are you?"

Shepard all but runs to her bondmate when she sees her. She kneels in front of her grabbing her hands and looking into Liara's eyes.

Smiling, Liara says "I am doing well Shepard, what about you. How is your leg?"

Liara can see the tears in Elly's eyes, which she is trying to hold back.

"I'm going to head out and visit Tricia. Good to see you back Shepard," says Alhe.

Shepard does not hear her, but Liara does look at Alhe and smiles. "Thank you Jen, we will see you later."

After the door closes Shepard lets her tears fall as she hugs Liara around the waist burying her face into her lap.

Concerned, Liara rubs Shepard's back "Elly what is it?"

Needing a minute to compose herself when she finds her voice Shepard finally asks, "You sure you and the baby are okay Liara?"

"Yes Elly we are both fine." Liara knows something more is bothering Shepard but she doesn't press her.

Shifting from knees Shepard rises up and kisses Liara fully on her lips. Liara can taste Shepard's salty tears. "We really are okay Elly," Liara says again.

Shepard stands and starts pacing wrapping her arms around herself. "Have you heard anything about Mitch and Kane being the same man?"

"No, not yet."

"Damn it." Shepard is not sure where they are going to be safe. Staying in New York has its advantages because of Alliance HQ. But returning to Thessia is preferable. Liara's doctor is there, they want the baby there and Liara is getting closer to her due date. With this man in the suit and not knowing whether or not Kane is alive or dead, Shepard is unsure of their next move and she hates it.

Deciding to distract Shepard Liara asks about Nicols, "How is Tricia Shepard, did you check on her before you came?"

"What?"

"Tricia?"

"Uh..yeah. ..she is going to be fine. She will need physical therapy for awhile. She was pretty out of it when I stopped by to see her."

"Elly why don't you sit next to me," says Liara.

Shepard continues her pacing as if not hearing her. "Squid is dead."

"What, when?"

"I don't know. I spoke with Councilor Tevos this morning, she finally decided to actually return my call at her earliest convenience," Shepard snarls. "She told me he was dead. Shit! I ask her one simple thing, is the guy in the picture Kane and you know what she tells me?" she doesn't wait for a response. "They never met Kane! Can you believe that! So she can't tell me if Mitch and Kane are the same man! What if I killed an innocent man Liara? What if Mitch is just some guy Kane paid to sit in that house until we picked him up, what if he was paid to talk to me at those bars?"

Liara realizes for the first time the guilt Shepard is feeling over killing Kane. She wants to help but not sure how. Liara feels the man deserved to die and they are better off for it.

"I believe it is highly unlikely," says Liara.

Shepard looks at the asari, "You do?" There is a hope to her tone, "Why?"

"That is a lot of trouble to go through Shepard. If the man you met at those bars was sent by Kane, then he is just as guilty as Kane. I don't believe he is some innocent bystander that was picked by Kane to approach you. That is too risky and from what I have seen regarding the lack of his digital footprint, I would say Kane is not careless. Hiring a man to approach you and pretend to be him in my opinion is careless."

"Well then he could just be part of the organization then right?"

Liara doesn't want to admit it but replies, "It is possible, but we should not jump to conclusions Elly."

Snorting a half laugh, "No we wouldn't want to do that. I …"

"What is it Elly, what is really bothering you?" Liara interrupts.

Shepard waits a minute before she replies. It is hard to put it into words, but she tries "I don't know how to protect you Liara."

Liara stands and walks toward Shepard. "Elly."

"No I mean it Liara," she steps away from her. "I don't know what to do, I fucking hate this! I need to know who that man in the suit was, I need to know how big Kane's organization is."

Liara approaches her again and hugs the human woman from behind. "We will find out Shepard, it will be okay."

"But how, we don't know who the man is."

"We will, it will just take time."

Shepard moves out of Liara's embrace, "Yeah time the organization will use to get stronger and more dangerous. Shepard starts her pacing again. "I can't do this again Liara I can't."

"What Elly, tell me."

"I am such a fucking hypocrite! I tell you you are obsessed with Kane and now I am having you do more research, I …"

"Elly please, you need to calm down."

"I can't..I can't Liara. We have to figure this out. I mean I killed him, I fucking killed him and nothing has changed, nothing is better. I …How did we get here?"

While Shepard paces Liara grabs a glass of water for her. She does not like seeing Shepard so worked up, but can hardly blame her. It is very upsetting to know there is an unidentified man they now need to worry about. And to think that Mitch and Kane are not the same man, well the asari is afraid it will be Shepard's complete undoing.

"Drink some water Elly..please."

Liara is not able to get too close to Shepard as she continues her incessant pacing.

"How can you be so calm!" Shepard looks at Liara; really looks at her. She didn't notice it before because she was so wrapped up in her own problems but Liara looks tired. "Liara," Shepard's tone changes to gentleness. "Liara you need to rest, when is the last time you slept?"

"Elly, I am fine."

"You don't look fine Liara," she says as she takes Liara's hand and leads her to the bedroom. "Will you do me a favor and lie down please?"

Liara is tired but she is more worried about Shepard, but she does comply. "Only if you lie down with me Shepard."

"I don't think I can sleep right now..-"

"Please Elly," she interrupts. "I need you to hold me."

Shepard feels a tremendous pang of guilt at Liara's request. She has been so preoccupied about everything else she should have been thinking about her wife and unborn child.

"Of course Liara. Do you need anything, water…tea?"

Liara lies down on the bed to get comfortable, "Just you Elly."

Shepard gets in on the other side of the bed and wraps her arms around her, kissing her neck. "This okay?"

Loving how Shepard's arms feel around her Liara says "Perfect."

"I'm so sorry Liara."

"For what?"

"For not taking care of you."

Liara turns around to face Elly, their foreheads resting on the other, "What are you talking about?" Shepard would not look at her. "Hey, look at me Elly."

"I just…" the tears form again. "I just want this to be over and I should have seen how tired you were when I came in, I.."

"Shhh shhhh, you stop that Elly. I am fine our baby is fine. You have a lot of responsibilities Elly."

"But that's just it. You should be my only responsibility Liara."

"What do you mean Elly?"

"I don't want to be away from you anymore Liara. I don't want to work for the Council anymore and I think it is high time I retire from the military."

This is music to Liara's ears, but the timing may not be the best right now. Plus Liara cannot be sure if Shepard has really thought through it.

"I just want to focus on you and our child Liara. I am so tired, I mean I don't think my body can really take much more of the abuse I give it," says Shepard.

"How long have you been thinking about this?"

"Awhile."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I just ….well never knew when to bring it up."

"You tried didn't you?" Liara believes Shepard probably tried but she was too obsessed with Kane at the time.

"Just a few times Liara, it's no big deal."

"It is Elly."

Shepard puts a finger to Liara's lips, "Now it's my turn to tell you to stop," she smiles. "What's done is done."

"I cannot believe I am going to say this," says Liara "but I think the timing may not be ideal to retire."

"What do you mean?"

"Without knowing the level of threat we face right now, remaining a part of the Alliance has its advantages."

"For protection you mean."

"Elly, I feel safe with you make no mistake. Additional protection may not be a bad thing right now."

Shepard strokes her cheek, "You're right as usual Dr. T'Soni, God you're beautiful." Shepard leans in for a kiss.

Liara never tires of hearing that.

She snuggles into Elly's side, "You are beautiful too Elly."

Liara senses Shepard tense suddenly. She looks up to see her face, "What is it Elly?"

"I just thought of something …I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner."

"What?"

"Remember how a man talked to me when I was in that room? I think it was Kane. Do you think maybe you could meld with me to see that memory, and then compare it to the memory of me meeting Mitch and see if the voice is the same? I mean, I never saw the man that spoke to me in the room, but maybe their voices match."

"That is a good idea Elly, yes I can do that."

Liara adjusts herself on the bed to get more comfortable. "Do you think we should wait, you look pretty tired Liara?"

"I will be fine, try to relax."

Shepard squeezes Liara's hand then kisses it while she relaxes into the bed.

Liara's eyes go black. The pictures within Elly's mind whip by. _Relax Elly._

Liara sees the pictures that represent Elly's memories slow, she sees where she needs to go. It is an area that Elly does not keep too open for the asari. She probes further into the memory and feels Elly's resistance. Shepard does not like sharing these memories with Liara, they are too painful. _It's okay Elly, I am here with you._

Liara can sense that Shepard is strapped to the table. She hears Shepard scream because she just woke up and a man was on top of her. Liara is in the room listening to the scene unfold. Of course she cannot see what is happening because Shepard could not see due to the hood she had on her head, Liara can only hear and sense what Shepard did. She hears men enter the room. One man speaks to Shepard, Liara can sense he is near her while she is on the table. "I apologize. This will not happen again. I am going to touch your top and pull it down; I am not here to hurt you. Do you understand?"

Liara holds Shepard now as she feels her bondmate tense at the memory. _I am here Elly, relax._

Liara moves to another memory, Shepard is in a bar and a man approaches her booth asking her if she wants to dance. This memory is a bit harder to see as it is blurry around the edges because Shepard was intoxicated and her senses were less than sharp.

The man known as Mitch sits down in the booth next to her, Liara smiles when Shepard was so shocked by such a bold move. Liara stops the memory as if freezing it in place. She listens to the man's voice again but it is hard to discern it over the loud music of the bar.

_Try this one _says Shepard as she pushes the memory of the night of his capture to Liara. He is lying on the bed fully clothed when Shepard and her team enter to apprehend him. The man does not say a lot but Liara watches the scene.

"Of course Commander, or I suppose I should say Captain. I didn't think we would see each other so soon," is what Mitch said when Shepard called him Kane.

Liara moves back through the first memory where she listens to the voice, she blacks out all images and focuses on the two memories so they both can listen. She plays them one after the other.

Liara feels intense relief from Elly as they both realize at the same time that Mitch and Kane are indeed the same man. Liara feels Shepard holding her tight as her tears come. _Thank you Liara …thank you._

Liara slowly leaves the meld. She holds Shepard tight, "It's okay Elly; it's going to be okay."

They continue holding each other as they both drift off to sleep.


	26. Chapter 26

"Wow Skipper are you serious?"asks Ashley.

"Are you really that surprised Ash?"

Shepard and Ashley are at a bar not far from the hotel Shepard and Liara are staying. Liara is planning on stopping by soon for a visit along with some of Shepard's squad mates. The captain wanted to talk to Ashley before the rest of the group showed up to tell her what she and Liara have decided.

It has been almost three weeks now. Tricia Nicols is finally out of the hospital and the group is getting together to celebrate her recovery. Not quite ready to return to active duty, but happy to be out of the hospital nonetheless.

"I guess not Skipper, I am just gonna miss you. I mean now I will be the only human Spectre, unless they replace you."

Shepard shoots her a stern glance.

Ashley quickly backtracks, "Not that you are replaceable of course."

Shepard smiles, "I will miss you to Ashley, but that just means you will have to make it a point to visit Thessia more often."

"Have you told the Council yet?"

"Tomorrow."

Lifting her glass Ashley says, "To you and your future Shepard."

Raising her glass, Shepard clinks against Ashley's glass and takes a sip of her whiskey.

"When do you two leave for Thessia?" asks Ashley.

"Well that is a bit more complicated, I hope soon," replies Shepard.

"Why is it complicated?"

Sighing "I was hoping to identify the man in the suit before we headed back, at least get an idea of who he is."

"I get that Skipper, but he may not even be a threat ya know."

In the last three weeks no further information has been found on who the man in the suit was outside of the house that exploded which landed Shepard and some of her squad mates in the hospital. Even finding and staking out another Cerberus cell she and Ashley's combined teams took them down without incident and without seeing the man. Perhaps he is not a threat but he is still out there and Shepard does not like it not one bit.

"Who knows, I don't like taking chances Ash," says Shepard as she finishes her drink and looks toward the door no doubt looking for Liara.

Ashley notices, "If you want to go get her I will wait here and save the table."

Shepard smiles, "You don't mind?"

Laughing Ashley replies, "You just can't help worrying about her can you."

"No I can't, I'll be right back."

* * *

Shepard sees Liara about a block away and hurries toward her. Liara is as beautiful as ever but she doesn't believe it, she feels like she is too big. She is becoming more and more uncomfortable and cannot wait to have their baby.

"Hi gorgeous!" shouts Shepard as she lightly jogs toward the asari.

Smiling Liara says "Hello Shepard."

Shepard gives her a quick peck on the cheek.

Liara continues, "You know Elly I am fully capable of making it to the bar on my own." She didn't mean to sound angry but she did.

Placing her hand on Liara's arm to stop her, "Hey hey hey..what's going on?"

Sighing, "I'm sorry Elly, I .."

"What what is it?"

"I'm just so tired and I'm uncomfortable and am certainly too big," Liara groans as tears well in her eyes.

"Hey," Shepard says in soft voice. She places her hand under Liara's chin so the asari will look at her. "I am sorry you are so tired Liara and that you are uncomfortable, but you are not too big not to me. You are beautiful, the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

"Oh please Elly," she says not believing her.

Shepard pulls Liara close into a hug stroking her lower back knowing how Liara reacts to it. "I don't think we would have had such fun last night if I couldn't stand to look at you Liara."

"Elly!" Liara says as she steps out of the hug and looks around to see if anyone heard what she said.

"My goodness are you blushing Dr. T'Soni?" Shepard flashes her sly grin.

Liara steps in close and kisses her on the lips, not too long as they are in public after all.

Shepard smiles and says, "We don't have to go in there if you don't want to, we can go back to the hotel."

"No no Elly, I think it will be nice to see everyone."

"Only if you are sure?"

"Yes Elly, I am sure, I am just feeling a little sorry for myself."

"You have earned it Liara, think nothing of it." Shepard takes her hand and leads her into the bar and to the table that Ashley is saving.

* * *

"Liara!" yells Ashley as she hugs the asari, "You look fantastic."

Shepard leans into her ear, "Told you."

"Thank you Ashley. "

"This booth okay?" asks Ashley.

"It is fine Ashley thank you," says Liara as she scoots in. Shepard already left for the bar to get them drinks.

"So how much longer Liara?"

Ashley is of course speaking of when Liara will give birth. "Soon."

"Are you getting excited?"

"You have no idea."

"No idea of what?" asks Shepard as she sets down water in front of Liara, a whiskey for herself and a beer for Ashley.

"Uh oh Skipper, I think Liara is sick of being pregnant."

"What no! I would not say it quite like that!"

"Relax Liara, she is basically saying you can't wait to have the baby, its normal," explains Shepard. "So Ash, are we going to see Tyler tonight?"

"Maybe, he said he was going to try to make it, why do you ask?" Ashley's eyes narrow.

"Hey, I am just asking," says Shepard holding her hands up.

"Uh huh. You better not embarrass me Shepard."

Shepard places her hand over her heart and in dramatic flair says "Me?"

"You better not Skipper I'm serious!"

"Okay okay geez, I was just asking a question."

Reaching to take Shepard's hand Liara says to Ashley, "I will make her behave Ashley I promise."

"Thanks Liara," says Ashley.

Shepard leans into Liara and whispers in her ear, "That's not what you wanted last night."

_Oh Goddess. _Feeling her breath on her neck Liara is rethinking Shepard's offer to return to the hotel.

"Hey guys!" says Jen Alhe she and Tricia Nicols arrive at the table.

Shepard is up in a shot, "Hey you two, Nicols you look good."

"Thanks Shepard."

Shepard steps closer to Nicols so as not to be overheard "You okay with a booth or do you need a chair?"

"Booth will work thanks."

"If you need a chair or you need to stand up or anything you let me know okay?"

Nicols has gotten to know a little bit about her captain in the months under her command, but the woman never ceases to amaze her. "Thank you Shepard, I will."

"What are you two drinking?" asks Shepard.

"Beer!" says Alhe as she scoots next to Ashley in the booth.

"Water please Shepard, thanks," says Nicols, she sits.

"Tricia it is so good to see you, how are you feeling?" asks Liara.

"Good thank you."

"Where are the boys?" asks Alhe.

"Should be here sometime," says Ashley.

Shepard returns with the drinks and scoots in next to Liara.

The men of both squads soon join the women; the group takes up two booths and a few chairs they pulled from a nearby table.

Shepard had asked Liara before they left for the evening if it was okay that they pick up the group's tab. Liara and Shepard don't really need to worry about money due to Liara's inheritance from her mother Benezia and Shepard's disciplined saving practices she has had since joining the Alliance. Liara was all too happy to agree.

Liara is regretting what she told Elly earlier in the evening on the street before entering the bar. Liara was simply letting Elly know she felt uncomfortable and huge which Elly has taken as some sort of challenge. Throughout the evening Shepard has been whispering in her ear, touching her ever so softly, caressing her leg under the table, she is driving the asari nuts.

"Dance with me," says Shepard.

"Feeling bold are we Elly," Liara can give as well as she gets. She leans in against Elly's ear so their cheeks are touching, "Are you forgetting how bad you dance Elly?" she takes Elly's earlobe between her teeth and pulls away seeing the human woman clearly blush.

Keeping a safe distance Shepard says, "I am not that bad when it is slow."

Liara can tell she is about to pout. Shepard is a horrible pouter, so before she can even try Liara puts her hand on her cheek and says "Yes." The couple extricates themselves from the booth to make their way to the dance floor.

Liara is not sure if Elly somehow planned for the music to suddenly slow, but it did the moment they stepped onto the dance floor. Shepard pulls her in close. "You glad you came out Liara?" asks Shepard as she plants a few soft kisses along the asari's neck.

"I am Elly thank you," she says as her hand moves a little below Shepard's beltline, her hand squeezing the firm buttock.

Gasping into Liara's neck Shepard says "Liara!" as she looks around to see who may have seen her action.

Liara likes this game.

* * *

"May I have the honor of this dance?"

The women at the table look up to find a handsome man. Alhe and Nicols look at each other with 'I don't know looks' before they realize the man is there for Ashley.

"Tyler!" she can't help but show her excitement. Alhe gets out of the booth to allow Ashley out.

She hugs the man before turning to the group, "Everyone, this is Tyler Ross."

The group gives a synchronous 'hello'. She quickly moves to the dance floor with her man.

* * *

Squeezing Liara a little, Shepard says "Looks like Tyler has made an appearance."

Liara looks over and sees the couple on the dance floor, Liara smiles when she sees how happy Ashley looks. "You are not planning on embarrassing her are you Elly?"

"Oh come on, me?" says Shepard her sly grin making an appearance.

"Elly Shepard you better not."

"Relax Liara, I will be subtle."

"Elly you do not know the meaning of the word."

"Sooo," Liara can tell Elly has something planned before she even finishes her sentence.

"No" Liara interrupts.

Shepard looks at Liara, "Hey, you don't even know what I was going to say."

"I can only imagine."

Shepard will not be swayed. "Dance with Ash for me," she says as she moves Liara closer to the couple.

Whispering in her ear, "Elly no, this is not a good idea."

"Relax Liara."

Before Liara can object any further the couple Shepard was targeting is next to them. "Hi Ash," says Shepard.

Ashley sees the look in Shepard's eyes and is not sure what to do.

Shepard is looking at Tyler, but asks Ash "You going to introduce us commander?" Shepard asks as she stops dancing with Liara to face the pair.

"Ahh, Tyler Ross, this is Captain Elly Shepard and Dr. Liara T'Soni."

He extends his hand which Shepard shakes firmly. "Captain," he says with a nod.

After he says hello to Liara, Shepard says "You can call me Shepard. Care to dance Tyler?"

The look on Ashley's face is priceless. The commander would appear rude if she says no, but she wants to scream no because she knows Shepard is up to something.

The man does not look as flustered as Ashley; he squeezes her hand and says "Of course Shepard, it would be my pleasure."

Liara moves close to Ashley as if trying to comfort her, well do something as she could not stop Shepard. She can only hope that Elly will not ruin anything.

"What is she doing Liara?"

"I am not sure Ashley I am sorry, I was unable to deter her. I am sure she will not embarrass you." Saying it out loud Liara hopes she actually believes it, she is not so sure and she can tell Ashley is not sure either.

* * *

One song, Ashley never realized how long one song can last. Her eyes never leave Shepard and Tyler as they dance while she sits with the group at the table. Drinking her beer like it is water it is empty before the three minute song is over. Finally the song ends and Ashley feels relief as she sees the pair return to the table. Shepard has her sly grin on her face and Tyler; well he looks fine; not mad; not unhappy. He flashes a grin towards Ashley and she relaxes all the more.

No one seems to notice the pain Liara is in, everyone was busy talking to Ashley and trying to console her while Shepard danced with her man, telling her that Shepard would not ruin anything. Liara was not sure what this pain was, all she knows is that it is not going away. She too kept her eyes on Shepard and Tyler. Though Shepard can be funny at times Liara is genuinely concerned that she may say something that will turn the man off to Ashley. But looking at the pair dancing to the slow song keeping a respectable distance from each other, they both smiled and laughed even. Sensing Ashley's relief as the pair approached the table, Liara cannot help but share the sentiment, now if this pain would go away.

As if reading her mind Shepard is at Liara's feet kneeling in front of her, "Liara what is it?"

The group looks at Shepard then at Liara wondering what is going on.

"I..I am not sure Elly… I am having some pain," the last word comes out between clenched teeth.

The hospital is two blocks away, but Shepard does not want to make Liara walk. Shepard hears a man's voice in her ear it is Tyler's voice "I'll call an ambulance."

"Just sit tight Liara we are getting help."

"I…do not..-"

"No arguing Liara."

"Could she be in labor?" asks Griggs.

Shepard looks at Liara; both of their eyes are wide in shock. Shepard checks her watch her instincts kick in, "When did you feel the pain last Liara?"

"I..I am not sure, but I don….aahhh," there it is again.

Shepard checks her watch and times what she believes is a contraction.

Shepard feels a hand on her shoulder, "The ambulance is on its way."

"Thanks Tyler," says Shepard as she continues to watch her watch.

Liara's pain seems to be subsiding, Shepard marks the time. "Liara …talk to me," says Shepard.

"I'm okay…it's over."

"How long has this been happening?"

"It started before I got here," says Liara.

_Shit_ Shepard thinks to herself, _Why didn't she tell me? Stay calm Shepard stay calm. _

"I thought perhaps it was something I ate," says Liara.

Shepard sees the panic in Liara's eyes and knows she cannot show any herself. "It's okay Liara you're okay," she squeezes her hands.

Medics appear at the entrance to the bar, Tyler runs over to get their attention and directs them back to the group.

"She may be in labor, but not sure," says Shepard as she continues to hold Liara's hand making room for the medics.

One medic runs a scan while the other wheels in a stretcher.

"I do not need a stretcher Elly," says Liara.

"Hey, no arguments remember?" says Shepard as she gives the asari's hand another squeeze.

"When was her last contraction?" asks the Medic.

Before understanding the implications that Liara appears to in fact be in labor, Shepard answers "Two minutes fifteen seconds."

The medic and Shepard help Liara lie onto the stretcher and they wheel her out.

"We are right behind you Skipper," says Ashley as she holds Tyler's hand.

"I'll get the bill," says Alhe as she walks up to the bar.

Tyler starts to move toward the entrance but Ashley does not move or let go of his hand. He looks at her, "What?"

"What did Shepard say to you?"

"You're asking now?"

Ashley wants to know but he has a point.

"Ah yeah, sorry you're right. You don't have to come if you don't want to."

He raises her hand to his lips and kisses the back of her hand, "Of course I am coming," he smiles.

"The bill has already been taken care of," says Alhe.

"What, who?" asks Ashley.

"Shepard."

"We should go," says Nicols.

Ashley turns to the rest of the group, "We are all going to the hospital, we don't know if Liara is in labor or not, but we are going to wait there to find out."

The group nods and of course follows the commander out of the bar.

* * *

Liara is wheeled into the emergency room where a doctor runs a scan and checks the baby's heartbeat. Shepard never leaving her side continues to hold her hand as she watches.

The pain comes again like a wave crashing onto a rocky shore. Liara winces in pain while Shepard tells her to focus on her breathing.

"Okay, she is in labor we need to move her," says a doctor.

"What, where?" asks Shepard.

"Obstetrician department," is the reply. "We will wheel her down."

"So she really is in labor then?" asks Shepard.

The doctor smiles, "She is."

Shepard can't help but smile but as soon as she does it disappears, "Isn't it too soon?"

"We handle premature births all of the time," says the doctor.

"Elly?"

Shepard returns to Liara as her stretcher starts to move again. She squeezes Liara's hand, "It's okay Liara you are going to be okay."

"It's too soon Elly."

"It's okay; everything is going to be okay."

* * *

Liara is moved to a private room in the obstetrician department. Shepard is trying to be as calm as possible for Liara but she cannot help but be concerned that their baby is coming too soon. She did some research on the extranet when she was in the hospital not too long ago, so she knows it may not be life threatening to the baby to be premature, but that doesn't really help her nerves at the moment.

Dr. Holden enters the room; she is the same human woman who looked at Liara when she had her panic attack. Liara is relieved to see a familiar face.

"Hello Dr. T'Soni," says Dr. Holden.

"Dr. Holden hello, please call me Liara." Liara is not in pain at the moment.

Shepard stands to greet the doctor, "Hi, I'm Shepard." Shepard only likes Liara and other close friends using her first name.

The doctor runs a scan. Shepard squeezes Liara's hand as they wait.

"Everything looks good Liara, you baby has a very strong heartbeat."

"But why is she early?" asks Liara sounding a little more desperate than she wanted.

"I do not know Liara, but rest assured everything looks good, so there is nothing to worry about, so please put it out of your mind why and get it around that this is happening today, okay?" she smiles.

"Yes doctor," says Liara.

"I will be back to check on you in a little while."

"Wait.. what?" asks Shepard. "Where are you going?" Shepard does not sound angry just confused.

"I have other patients Shepard and Liara will not give birth for a few hours based on her dilation."

_Few hours!_

"If she dilates faster a nurse will get me okay, try to relax captain." The doctor squeezes Shepard's shoulder before walking out of the room.

"Okay Liara, so what do you need? I can get some ice for you; I remember that you can eat that."

"Just stay with me Elly."

"Hey hey, you heard the doctor our baby is going to be fine."

Liara's eyes well up with tears. "I am sorry Elly."

"Don't Liara, you didn't do anything wrong so put that out of your mind do you hear me?"

Taking a deep breath Liara replies, "Okay."

Shepard's omni-tool beeps. "It's Ash," she says as she looks to Liara for permission to answer. The asari nods. "Hey Ash."

"Skipper, what's going on, is she in labor?"

"She is Ash yes. Where are you?"

"We are in the waiting room."

"You in the obstetrician department?" asks Shepard.

"Yes."

"Okay."

"We are going to stay Skipper so let me know if you need anything."

"Will do Ash, thanks…thanks a lot."

"Anytime."

Shepard disconnects the call.

* * *

One hour has passed; Liara's contractions are getting closer together. Shepard feels her hand is about to break under the vice-like grip Liara has had on it for the last twenty minutes. Nurses are in and out of the room in more frequency looking at the monitors hooked up to Liara and the baby.

A male doctor enters the room and asks a nurse a question. He doesn't look their way which is good since Shepard is as stiff as a board. Not currently having a contraction Liara notices the change in her bondmate. She looks at Shepard and she is extremely pale. Liara reaches out with her mind to meld with her. _Elly what is it?_

Shepard is startled at Liara bumping into her mind. Her eyes are locked on the male doctor that entered the room. Shepard concentrates while not moving her glance, she shows Liara a memory. It is a memory from when she was kidnapped. In her attempt to escape Shepard was hidden behind crates when Kane and another man walked by her hidden position. Shepard never saw the men only heard them._ I think that doctor is the other man Liara. _

If anyone were to look at the couple they would not know that they were in the middle of a meld, they would see two people sitting by each other holding hands. Only upon closer inspection would they notice that the two were not moving at all and that Liara's eyes were no longer blue.

Liara understands her meaning; the man in the room right now is the man that was with Kane. Shepard pushes her memory from seconds ago of when he entered the room. Liara knows what Elly wants, she is to black out the images and focus on the voice between the two memories just as she did when she confirmed that Mitch and Kane are the same man. As the images of Shepard's memory fade to black Liara has another contraction.

Liara does not break the meld but now Shepard feels the pain of the contraction flood her mind. Shepard suddenly feels like she is drowning in pain the emotion from Liara is so strong. It takes her a minute to gather her senses and return love and comfort back to Liara, it takes a minute to steady herself in the chair as she almost topples over.

To her credit, Liara continues to try to concentrate on the memories Elly showed her and on the man's voice. The pain thankfully subsides and Liara is able to put all of her focus on the voice. She plays the first memory as if a tape recorder to hear the voice and then plays the second memory…..they match.

Liara breaks the meld. Shepard looks up to see the doctor is no longer in the room. She looks at Liara. Liara says "Go."

"But Liara..-"

"Go Elly, I mean it."


	27. Chapter 27

Dr. Roger Dircks doesn't usually work in the obstetrician department at the hospital he is Pediatrician. He is doing a favor for a colleague. Find a friend, who happens to be a nurse, and give her this message please his friend asked. Since the departments share the same floor of the hospital he told his colleague he would deliver the message, he was on his way to grab a snack and it is on the way.

He approaches the main desk and asks for Nurse Paulsen. He is told she is working in room 312 today. So Dr. Dircks heads for room 312. He enters the room and sure enough he finds Nurse Paulsen to deliver the message. He doesn't notice the couple in the room, sees them out of his peripheral vision. It is only when Nurse Paulsen nods to the infamous couple that he steals a glance. His jaw drops, what are the odds that Captain Shepard would be just ten feet away from him.

Dr. Dircks is the doctor that Kane called on when he wanted Shepard, a Commander at the time, looked at. Kane wanted to make sure she was kept sedated but safely. Because Dr. Dircks felt he owed Kane, he often helped him when called. Growing up Kane was in a gang until he left the life. But during the time with the Skulls Kane came across Roger Dircks. He would have been killed by some gang members if Kane had not intervened.

Kane was an intelligent kid. He kept in touch with Roger Dircks in case he would be useful in the future. And useful he was because Dr. Dircks often appeared when Kane called to ensure people were patched up, kept alive or even made comfortable if there was no saving someone, he became Kane's right hand man when Kane wanted medical help or medical information. Even though Dr. Dircks is a Pediatrician, he still worked in the emergency room as part of his training, so he knows how to treat adults even though he prefers infants, children and adolescents.

Dr. Roger Dircks is a family man, three kids all under the age of fifteen and he has been married to the same woman for almost twenty-five years. He wanted to be free of Kane, he didn't like working for him even though he was paid handsomely. It was Shepard's kidnapping that did it for him. He recognized her right away when he was giving her fluids after her escape attempt; she was no longer wearing the hood. She was shaking and unconscious and he flushed her system as best he could in the limited time he had. He told Kane that both he and Kane were better than this and hoped he would listen. He left that day and thankfully never heard from Kane again and never knew what happened to Shepard until now.

Completely shocked looking at Shepard who was holding hands with an asari that must be in labor Dr. Dircks froze for what seemed like minutes. Thankfully the couple did not look his way, not that he noticed, and he hurried out of the room once he delivered the message to Nurse Paulsen.

"Go," says Liara.

"But Liara..-"

"Go Elly, I mean it."

When Shepard realizes the doctor that entered the room is the same man that was present in the warehouse where she was held during her kidnapping she wants to run after him but her bondmate is in labor, she is having their first child, what Shepard hopes is their first of many children. But Liara insists she go after him.

Moving quickly to the doorway Shepard peeks around it to look down the hallway. She looks left and does not see a doctor; she looks right and sees him. He is looking her way as he turns a corner. Shepard glances back at Liara who is waving for her to go ahead, Shepard springs down the hallway while bringing up her omni-tool.

"Hey Skipp -"

"Ash I need your help!" Shepard interrupts.

"What's going on?"

"I am in pursuit of a doctor that was part of my kidnapping, I need help," Shepard pants as she rounds the corner and sees a door swinging shut. "Follow my location," she says as she presses a button on her omni-tool. Shepard's location will now act as a beacon for Ashley to find her.

"On my way!"

"Get Alhe to stay with Liara please," Shepard says as she is through the door. She stops to see where the doctor could have gone. The disadvantage of pursuing someone in a hospital is the number of rooms a person can try to disappear in. Shepard continues to walk briskly down the hallway and hears a door click shut. She looks toward the sound and sees it is a door that leads to the stairwell.

Shepard runs to the door and opens it. She does not see anyone up or down the stairwell so she waits to listen. Her heart is thump thump thumping….there. She hears a noise above her. She looks up again and sees a hand on the railing then she sees him looking down to see if she spotted him. He starts running up and Shepard follows.

* * *

"Hey Liara," says Alhe as she tries to enter the room but is stopped by a Nurse.

"Sorry ma'am you cannot come in."

"It's okay," says Liara. "I would like her to stay please."

Nurse Paulsen allows Ensign Jen Alhe to enter.

"Where's Shepard is she okay?" asks Liara.

"As far as I know yes, she and Ashley are chasing him as we speak. What can I get you Liara, you doing okay?"

"So far yes."

Jen Alhe is not sure if she should take Liara's hand and take over as coach, she doesn't know the asari very well, but Liara is alone and needs support so Alhe finds her courage.

"You want to hold my hand Liara?"

As she finishes the question Liara has another contraction in which she does take the human woman's hand and squeezes. Alhe almost misses the chair beside Liara's bed as she feels the pain in her hand and tries to maneuver to it while Liara holds on tight.

Nurse Paulsen hovers over Liara running her scans and checking the monitors. The contractions are closer together now it is only a matter of time before Liara is supposed to start pushing; she hopes Shepard is able to return in time.

* * *

The hospital is a very tall building; Shepard thinks there are probably fifty floors to it at least that is how it feels as she runs up the stairs after the doctor. He has decided to head to the roof of the hospital and Shepard is getting a bit winded, but so is the doctor.

Shepard answers her omni-tool as she runs. "Yeah?" she breathes.

""Where are you Skipper?"

"Heading to roof Ash."

"Got it," says Ashley.

Ashley is the lucky one, she stopped running because she could not tell where Shepard's signal was coming from. The tracker is not the best when the signal is higher or lower than a main floor for example. So when she hears from Shepard that the man in pursuit is heading for the roof, she just waits for the elevator doors to open.

* * *

"I think I better get Dr. Holden," says Nurse Paulsen.

"What?" says Liara.

Alhe squeezes her hand, "It's okay Liara."

"You are almost ready to push Dr. T'Soni."

"Oh Goddess Elly."

Liara does not want Shepard to miss the birth of their child.

"I can call her Liara," says Alhe as Liara has another contraction.

* * *

Hearing a door slam above her Shepard looks up, she is almost at the top, the man made it to the roof. Digging in she picks up her speed.

"Ash, I am almost on the roof," Shepard says through her panting.

"I'm heading toward you now," says Ash.

Ashley was able to take the elevator to the top floor, but then had to find a roof access stairwell to get to the roof, which were two floors away. She is on the roof but about a football field length away from where the doctor came out and where Shepard will emerge once she hits the top of the stairs.

Shepard reaches the top of the stairs and bolts through the door she is met with a doctor swinging something at her from behind the door. Shepard raises her arms at the last minute due to fast reflexes to block the blow, it helps but the piece of wood held by the man makes contact with both of her forearms that she holds up as if in a boxing match. The wood splinters from his hands on contact with a loud SMACK, Shepard doesn't feel the impact. The doctor is shocked that he missed, he turns and starts running towards Ashley's position.

* * *

"Hello Liara, how are you …where is Captain Shepard, who let you in here?" asks Dr. Holden.

"I am Ensign Jen Alhe; the captain had to step away and asked me to take her place."

Furrowing her brows the doctor looks at Liara and repeats "Step away?" she examines Liara and checks her dilation progress.

Liara is able to respond "Yes doctor it is critical."

"I see. Well Liara you are about ready we are going to set up here so you can start pushing."

_Oh Goddess_

* * *

The doctor was about fifteen yards ahead of Shepard, she could see in the distance Ashley closing in on him. She stops, readies her biotics and throws a stasis field toward the man. The field envelopes him and the doctor is stuck in place the only thing moving is his chest up and down from being out of breath.

Shepard slows to a jog as she approaches him.

"Don't hurt me please," he begs.

Shepard holds up her arms and interlaces her fingers together behind her head to open her lungs to try to catch her breath; she does this while waiting for Ashley.

"Hey Skipper," says Ash who does not seem so out of breath.

Shepard is dripping sweat and still working on catching her breath, "Ash…how …did…you….get here …so fast?"

An evil grin appears on her face, "Elevator."

Now the priceless look belongs to Shepard, she just shakes her head.

"Please don't hurt me I have a family," he says.

"Yeah so do I!" yells Shepard then stops herself. "Shit!"

Shepard looks at Ashley and Ashley understands, "I got this Skipper."

Nothing more had to be said, Shepard starts to bolt back where she came then quickly turns and runs back to Ashley.

"What's the matter?" asks Ashley.

"Where's that elevator?"

* * *

"Okay Liara, you need to push now," says Dr. Holden, she and Nurse Paulsen are ready to bring in a new asari baby.

Liara looks at Alhe and she knows that the asari doesn't want to push, not without Shepard. She gives Liara a smile and a squeeze of her hand, "You can do it Liara."

Liara starts to push. She starts to scream as she feels the pressure within her increase.

* * *

Shepard cannot believe her luck, she finds the elevator but it is as if everyone and their father have boarded the elevator and are pressing every floor but the one she needs. Every time a new person gets on or off the elevator she wonders if she should just run down the stairs.

* * *

"Good Liara good, you are doing well," says Dr. Holden.

Liara has been pushing for about two minutes now though it feels like a lifetime. She has been in pain before but not like this. The immense pressure of the baby pushing her way out, well it is overwhelming to say the least. She is happy that Jen Alhe is with her and that she is not alone but she wants her bondmate. This is their first child and she doesn't want Elly to miss it. Liara is growing more and more concerned that something has happened to her since she is not back yet or called.

* * *

Shepard has had it, she is ten floors away and there are five more floors with their respective buttons lit up. She pretty much snarls at every new person who gets on the elevator and some of them have the audacity to snarl back. She tries to calm herself by looking down and taking deep breaths. This is when she notices that her arms are bleeding. Not a lot, but her left arm is dripping a little bit. She looks up to see if anyone else notices and they are all facing forward ignoring her. She has a few pieces of wood sticking out of her forearms, but leaves them in.

The elevator stops, she sees a cart with towels just outside of the elevator; she nearly knocks over the person entering the elevator to quickly grab a towel and get back on. "Sorry," she says as she dabs at her bloody arms.

* * *

Using a cool damp wash cloth Jen Alhe places it on the back of Liara's neck. The asari gets about a one minute break before she needs to start pushing again.

Alhe never expected that she would be doing this today. She was excited to see everyone at the bar, welcome Nicols back into the fold even though she is not on active duty yet it was great to have her out of the hospital. She also wanted to spend more time with Griggs. She has been noticing him more and more lately and she was hoping to get to know him better tonight. Griggs is part of Commander Ashley Williams' squad and is available; at least that is what she heard. But instead of a night drinking with her comrades she is playing father to a very sweet and lovely asari, she feels very out of place but is doing the best she can.

* * *

Shepard finally reaches the floor she needs. She steps out and nothing looks familiar. What she forgets is the stairwell she took when she chased the doctor was on the other side of the floor so now she has no idea where she is.

Her sense of direction is usually pretty good but with her adrenaline burning off, her heart racing and her forearms bleeding she is a little directionally challenged at the moment.

Running up to a nearby desk, "Where is the obstetrician department?"

The woman behind the desk looks at her as if she has no idea what Shepard is talking about.

* * *

Liara does not remember being so tired. She thought she was tired the last two months but this is ridiculous _and Shepard wants more, _she thinks to herself.

The cool cloth at the back of her neck feels nice and soothing but she wishes Shepard was the one holding it. Liara is just as uncomfortable with Alhe being with her as the human woman looks, but she is happy to have someone with her nonetheless.

"Okay Liara, here we go you need to push now, this is it," says Dr. Holden.

Nurse Paulsen is wiping the sweat from her brow then moves to Liara to do the same with a different towel.

Liara starts to push.

"That's it, that's it I can see the head, keep pushing!"

* * *

Shepard was directed to the correct hallway, it took all of her patience to not completely and utterly yell at the ditz behind the desk. As she runs down the hallway she quickly looks at the room numbers, she is getting close. There are too many people in the way, she starts yelling "Move people, clear the way, clear the way!" Thankfully this works and people hug the wall as she sprints by.

She enters the room.

"Keep pushing Liara, almost there!"

Liara looks up and sees Shepard.

"Elly!" she manages.

Out of breath, Shepard quickly moves to Liara's side almost knocking Alhe out of the way completely as she grabs Liara's hand to take over. She is all business.

"We're we at Doc?" asks Shepard.

"She almost has it, just need one more push."

Shepard kisses Liara's brow and cheek, "Okay Liara you heard the woman, let's meet our daughter."

With her encouragement Liara finds the strength to push one last time. She lets herself scream to help with the pushing and pushes as hard as she can.

"Come on…come on…come on!" encourages Shepard.

Liara pants to catch her breath as does Shepard since she is still winded as they both hear the wonderful sound of a baby crying. The doctor and nurse quickly move to a small table across the room.

Shepard and Liara are all smiles and so is Alhe as she is standing in the corner, though no one notices her. Shepard grabs the washcloth that is behind Liara's neck and quickly dabs at the asari's face and forehead then leans in and kisses her. "You did it Liara, you did it."

Liara is still trying to catch her breath.

The doctor wraps their baby snuggly and puts a little cap on her head before presenting the infant to the new parents. "Here is your little girl," she says and she moves over to Liara's side to hand her the baby.

Shepard wants to tell a joke right now like oh it's a girl really, I have always wanted a girl, but thinks better of it, and Liara would probably never forgive her for ruining the moment.

Liara takes the little one in her arms. The baby is no longer crying, just kind of fidgeting around. Liara gently strokes the baby's cheek with her finger.

Shepard stands to get a better look. She places her lips on the baby's forehead and keeps them there as she takes in her scent. She had always heard that baby's smell so good, they were right.

"She is beautiful Liara, just like her mother," says Shepard.

"She is isn't she," says Liara.

Realizing what she just said Liara starts to say "I mean…-"

Laughing Shepard says, "It's okay Liara. I know what you meant."

Alhe is slowly trying to work her way around Captain Shepard since she feels a bit stuck in the corner. Shepard notices and moves. "Alhe, I'm sorry, oh my gosh thank you," says Shepard. "Thank you so much for being here."

"Yes Jen, thank you," says Liara. "Do you want to hold her?"

"No no, the next honor is for Shepard. I can wait my turn."

Shepard's smile grows as if that is even possible, her cheeks hurt now because she cannot wipe the smile from her face. She reaches out to hold the baby…

"Shepard your arms!" says Liara.

She forgot that she had wood splinters and was bleeding. "Oh sorry Liara," she moves to the adjacent bathroom. Nurse Paulsen looks over when she hears Liara speak with concern, she joins Shepard in the bathroom to get her cleaned up.

Returning to her bondmate after getting bandaged from Nurse Paulsen, Shepard approaches with arms stretched out. Liara carefully transfers their little blue beauty to Shepard, "Watch her head," says Liara.

Shepard always felt she could get lost in Liara's ocean blue eyes, now looking at her little daughter her eyes are just as intense but they are green with a tint of blue. "She has your eyes Elly," says Liara.

"Is that even possible?" asks Shepard.

"Eye color can sometimes change when infants get older, but sometimes they don't," says Dr. Holden.

"Wow, hi little one," says Shepard as she kisses her daughter on her forehead. The baby just wiggles a little in reply.

Shepard didn't notice but Jen Alhe is standing right next to her with just a big as smile as everyone else. "She is beautiful," she says.

"Oh, here ya go Jen," says Shepard. It is the first time she has called her Ensign by her first name.

Watching her head, Jen Alhe holds the precious bundle close. She dreams of her own baby someday.

"I think she is a natural hey Liara," says Shepard as she watches Alhe hold the baby.

"I agree," says Liara.

"Well I don't want to hog her, I mean I do, but here you go," laughs Alhe as she returns the infant to Shepard. "I am going to leave you two alone now, I will let everyone know you two are okay, if that is okay?"

"Of course," says Liara.

"I don't know if people can come in here or if I need to bring her out to see everyone, I'll find out and call you on my omni okay Alhe?"

"Sure thing Shepard and congratulations you two."

"Thanks," they say in unison.

Shepard returns their daughter to Liara's arms as she wraps her own arm around Liara. Liara turns to Elly and they kiss fully on the lips.

"You did it Liara, you really did it."

"We did it Elly."


	28. Chapter 28

"You sure you are up for visitors Liara, I can always tell them to come back tomorrow?" asks Shepard.

Liara just had their baby about an hour ago and the couple is determining whether or not to let their friends visit now or another day.

"Yes Elly, they have been waiting so long."

"You look tired and I know I am from all of those damn stairs."

"What happened to him anyway?" asks Liara.

"Not sure actually," says Shepard as she walks around holding her little bundle of joy. "I'll have to ask Ash, I had more important matters to attend to."

"You did cut it close Elly," says Liara as she readies her arms for their baby.

"Okay," Shepard kisses Liara's cheek, "I'll fill you in on the doctor later. I'll go get the crew."

"I'll be waiting," says Liara.

* * *

Shepard approaches the waiting area the smile on her face still evident, her cheeks are starting to ache in fact due to over usage.

"Hi everyone," says Shepard.

Her squad along with Ashley William's squad all stands up to greet Shepard. Everyone gathers so she doesn't have to shout.

"Okay folks we are not supposed to have too many people in the room at the same time so let's keep it down, all of you follow me," she says with her sly grin.

Hospitals have rules but sometimes rules just need to be broken. Shepard never liked being thought of as the 'savior of the galaxy' but she is going to use the reference to her full advantage in case she gets into trouble.

Shepard enters the room to stand by Liara's side; she places her arm around her blue beauty.

The squads pile into the room each smiling at Liara as they get a glimpse of the precious bundle that lies quietly in her arms. "Everyone, we would like to introduce you to Raina Samantha T'Soni."

The group shares a collective sigh. Each person is standing in almost a line to get a chance to hold little Raina. The men being honorable allow the women first dibs. Since Jen Alhe has already seen the baby, Tricia Nicols steps up first.

"Oh she is beautiful," says Nicols.

Little Raina is still wrapped snuggly in a blanket with a little cap on her head to keep her warm. Her coloring is light blue, lighter than Liara which can change to a deeper blue as she ages. Everyone as they take their turns holding Raina comment on the intensity of her green eyes that have a hint of blue.

"So what does the name mean Shepard?" asks Curtis.

"It means wise and guardian," says Shepard. "Her middle name is for my mom." Liara squeezes her hand as she smiles at the group in the room.

Though the squad is relatively new, Shepard feels blessed to have them with her. She notices Ashley enter the room, Shepard nearly forgot all about chasing and capturing the doctor. She whispers to Liara "Be right back," as she gestures toward Ashley who is remaining behind the group near the door.

"Hey Ash," says Shepard as she approaches.

"Hi, did you make it?"

"I did, I made it just in time to see her born."

"That's great."

"Where is he?"

"I put him in the brig on my ship," replies Ashley. "I thought we would get fewer questions that way."

"Good thinking Ash, thanks." Shepard looks at Ashley and senses she is not telling her everything. "What's up Ash?"

Shaking her head, "I don't know. He seems pretty innocent."

"What do you mean?"

"Well for one he wouldn't stop begging for his family's life, then when I put him in holding he started to cry, not exactly behavior for a hardened criminal."

"Yeah well, we will see." Shepard is not convinced.

"When do you want to talk to him?"

"Not sure, probably should do it today yet huh? Let me check with Liara. You want to meet Raina?"

Ashley smiles, "Of course! What a cool name."

Shepard half hugs Ashley, "Thanks."

Looking through the group Shepard finds Langer holding her child. She stands watch over him until he looks up and transfers Raina to Ashley.

"She is gorgeous," says Ashley.

Shepard can't help but look at Liara when she hears the comment, they exchange smiles. She notices how tired Liara looks.

"Okay everyone sorry to break this up, but we need some alone time," says Shepard.

The group starts to leave the room Ashley lingers as long as she can since she just got hold of the baby.

"So what happened with that doctor?" asks Liara.

Ashley doesn't seem to hear the question as she is enthralled with Raina.

"Ashley locked him up on her ship. I need to talk to him, wanted to ask you if it was okay if I did that yet today," says Shepard.

"Elly you are pretty tired, are you sure you want to today?" asks Liara.

"I guess I can wait until tomorrow, I just kind of want to know who the hell he is and what his connection with Kane is, was I guess. Plus, even though we have confirmed Mitch and Kane are the same man he can do the same thing.

"Will Ashley accompany you?"

Shepard looks at Ashley; she is in her own little world with baby Raina. Shepard and Liara exchange looks and laugh. Shepard places her hand on Ashley's shoulder which seems to snap her out of her trance.

"Huh?"

"You okay there Ash?" asks Shepard.

"Oh yeah sorry, my gosh you two, she is so beautiful."

"Well, it was all Liara, I just watched."

Liara is silent.

"Annndd I am guessing by her silence my beautiful bondmate agrees with me," Shepard flashes her crooked grin at Liara.

"What? No! I am sorry, I was not listening."

"Uh huh." Shepard turns to Ashley. "So Ash, will you go with me to talk to the doctor?"

"Sure thing Skipper."

"Okay then let's go now, I am pretty beat as it is, I want this over with," says Shepard.

Ashley walks baby Raina over to Liara, before she hands her over she kisses the infant on her brow one last time. "Hmmm I just love how they smell, I almost forgot."

"Oh?" asks Liara as she readies her arms for Raina.

"Yeah, I took care of my sisters when I was little I remember how my youngest smelled." Turning toward Shepard, "By the way Skipper, you still need to tell me what you said to Tyler when you two danced."

"What? I don't know what you are talking about, let's get going." Shepard walks over and kisses Liara fully on the lips. She doesn't want to leave her new family but she needs to get some answers. She whispers, "I love you and I will see you soon."

"I love you Elly."

* * *

"So what did you say?" asks Ashley as they make their way to Alliance HQ docking bay. Both the Normandy and Freedom are docked there.

"What did he say I said?" asks Shepard.

"He didn't actually have a chance to tell me."

"Oooh I am sure he will tell you."

Ashley steps in front of Shepard and holds her hands up while stopping, "What did you say?"

Shepard can see she is serious; Shepard was just having some fun. "Hey hey, I …I didn't really say anything Ash. Do you really think I would say something that would ruin what you two have together?"

"No I am not saying that, I just don't know why you are being so secretive. I mean what am I supposed to think if you don't tell me?"

Shepard places her hand on Ash's shoulder, "I would not do anything that would harm your relationship Ash, and I know how much you like this guy." Shepard side stepped past her to continue their walk towards her ship.

"Well then just tell me what you said!" she yells without following her, hands on her hips, Ashley is angry.

Shepard stops in her tracks and turns around. "Look, I think of you as a sister Ashley. I just wanted to get to know the guy that's all." She turns and starts walking toward the ship.

Ashley is angry but it is hard to stay angry, I mean why won't she just tell her already. She jogs up to walk in step next to her former Commander. She doesn't say anything for a few paces but she cannot help herself. "Please tell me Skipper."

Continuing to walk Shepard replies, "I just asked if he liked being an engineer. How you two met, that type of thing."

"But you already know that stuff because I told you, I mean at least about how we met."

"I know, I wanted to hear it from him."

"Why?"

Shepard stops and looks at her. "When you told me about him for the first time Ash, you lit up. The smile on your face said everything. I wanted to see if he did the same thing when he spoke about you." Shepard continued walking.

Catching up to her once more Ashley asks, "And?"

Shepard's sly grin makes an appearance, "And what?"

"Uggh! Talking to you is giving me a headache! Out with it Skipper."

"Okay okay relax geez," she says laughing. "Yes."

"Yeessss?" she wants more information.

"Yes, his face lit up Ash. I think he really, really likes you and I am happy for the both of you."

Ash's face lights up with a huge smile as she thinks of Tyler.

* * *

"Please, please you have to get me out of here," Dr. Dircks is yelling as Shepard and Ashley walk into the brig.

"Pipe down!" snaps Shepard.

The doctor closes his mouth and steps back from the front of the small cell he is standing in. He is clearly scared.

"What is your name?"

"Dr. Roger Dircks," he replies.

"Well doctor, why don't you tell me who this is," Shepard holds up her omni-tool displaying a picture of Mitch.

"That's Kane," he says.

Though she and Liara were pretty sure Mitch and Kane were indeed the same man, she cannot help but feel relief when she hears it confirmed.

"How do you know him?" asks Shepard.

"Look, I have a family and I …-"

"How do you know him?" Shepard was sterner.

Sighing he answers the Captain, "When I was fifteen I got jumped by a bunch of gang members they were from the Skulls. Kane was one of them."

"And?"

"He stopped them from killing me. I got the shit beat out of me and he stopped them okay!"

"Sooo….what, you feel like you owe him for the rest of your life is that it?"

This question flusters the doctor a little. "It's not like I wanted it this way. Yeah, I owed him and he didn't let me forget it. He kept tabs on me even showed up out of the blue after years passed just to keep me on edge, fucking bastard. He threatened me when I got engaged, when I had my first child and on and on…get the picture?"

Shepard studies the man. He is very nervous and agitated, but she can tell that he is telling the truth. She senses fear in him which is why Kane was able to use him.

"What exactly did you do for him?"

"He would call and I had to show up. It usually had to do with treating someone."

"Or in my case keeping them alive, correct?" Shepard snarls.

Before entering the brig Shepard asked Ashley if she could be the one to question the doctor but because of the history with him she wanted Ashley to feel comfortable stepping in if Ash felt it was necessary.

Stammering a little the doctor answers "Y..Yes."

"What exactly did you do to me?"

"Umm..not much really. Kane called me with a job like he always does. He leaves a ticket for me and I take a shuttle or whatever mode of transportation to the destination. I show up and he tells me what he needs."

Shepard doesn't say anything.

The doctor continues "I bring my black bag; he knows what is it in. If he needs something outside of my typical contents he tells me. He told me for this ..umm..for you that I needed a sedative that was strong and that attacked the nervous system but had no long lasting effects."

Shepard remembers during her attempted escape from the warehouse how weak her legs were how her hands tingled and how the gun she got off one of the men never felt right in her hand.

"I checked on you twice. The first time was when they first brought you in. You had a hood on your head so I didn't recognize you. I checked your vitals and administered another dose of the sedative. I was called back a few hours later. Kane told me that a man was..um…" He doesn't finish the sentence; he looks at Shepard then to Ashley.

He is talking about when Shepard woke up with a man on top of her; he wanted to have his fun at her expense but thankfully did not have the chance.

"Continue," says Shepard.

"Well Kane told me what that man tried to do. Then Mr. Green brought you to us because the room was empty."

"What do you mean brought me to you?" Shepard does not remember what happened.

"You tried to escape and he shot you with a dose of tranquilizer. He carried you into the room and I checked your vitals and put in an IV. You no longer had your hood on and I recognized you instantly."

"An IV?" Shepard has no memory of this.

"Yeah, I gave you fluids hoping to flush some of the drugs out of your system. I didn't have a lot of time, I implied that you needed it so you would not dehydrate, but I think Kane caught on to what I was doing which is why I could not continue to flush your system. I packed everything up and told him that he was better than this that we both were. I told him that I was not coming back. When I saw it was you, something in me just said enough."

"Just like that?" Shepard does not believe him.

"No NOT just like that. I thought he was going to shoot me in the back. I was so scared as I walked away from him. Do you have any idea the kind of man he is?"

Shepard notices he is speaking of Kane as if he is still alive. "Tell me."

"Ruthless. I have no idea how many people he has killed. He used to stick to robberies but for some reason he started doing kidnappings. He is meticulous in his planning which is why he is still walking around free as a bird. But with you, I don't know. He seemed different somehow."

"Elaborate."

"I don't know. I guess I saw something in him which is why I walked out. Like something wore on him I don't know. Don't know how to explain it. He was not his cold usual self. I think he was pretty uncomfortable with kidnapping you."

Shepard rolls her eyes, "Poor baby," she is seething sarcasm.

"Well I don't know all I know is I got out of there and I have not heard from him sense. I guess he either grew a conscience or he hasn't picked up a new job yet."

"It's door number 3," says Shepard.

Furrowing his brow, "What?"

"He's dead."

"What? How?"

Shepard looks at Ashley, but only briefly before she looks down. She is not going to tell the doctor that she had him sedated, tied to a table and murdered him.

"It's not important." Shepard displays another picture from her omni-tool. "Who is this?" She shows him a picture of a man in a suit; it was taken outside of the house that blew up.

"Uhhh, that's me, how did you get that?"

"I thought you just said that you have not heard from Kane since my kidnapping."

"That's right."

"So why were you at this house?"

The doctor is not sure how to respond.

"I'm waiting," Shepard knows she is on to something.

The doctor just shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders.

"Why were you at the house Dircks?" her tone turning dark.

He shakes his head one more time.

Shepard abruptly stands up and walks toward him in the cell, he backs up. She wants to scare him. Ashley stands but keeps back; she is not sure what Shepard is planning. "You tell me or you die." Her tone is deadly serious.

Ashley cannot see her face because she is behind Shepard; she swallows the lump forming in her throat hoping Shepard is bluffing.

The doctor's face turns pale. "Okay, I got a bunch of data pads in the mail."

"From?"

"Him..from Kane. When I said I never heard from him I meant he never called me."

"You expect me to believe that?"

"Yes I do! I have a family, I don't want anything to do with the bastard, and I want to be done with him!"

Shepard doesn't believe he is lying. "How many data pads did you get and what are you supposed to do with them?"

Calming down he says, "I got twelve of them. Instructions came taped to each one."

"Taped, what do you mean?"

"Twelve pieces of paper with handwriting on them were attached to each data pad."

"Go on."

"The instructions for each data pad were the same, to deliver them to each specified address."

Shepard looks at Ashley. This could mean that there are more Cerberus cells they can take down. "The other eleven that you delivered, did they contain the same agents as the house in the picture?"

"Yes."

"Do you remember where they are?"

"And if I do?" The doctor has his own demands.

Shepard looks at Ashley; they seem to speak volumes to each other without uttering a word. "You will live."

"I don't think you are really going to kill him."

Shepard turns to him; the look she gives him freezes him in his tracks. "You sure about that?"

The doctor absolutely believes that Shepard will kill him. He wants out of this life anyway; he can still ask her to see if she agrees. "Look, I don't want anything to do with this anymore. If I help you and tell you the locations, can I go free, I have a family; I have three kids for crying out loud."

Shepard signals to Ash and walks out of the brig, Ashley follows.

"What do you think?" asks Shepard.

"I think we can take out eleven more Cerberus locations."

"But for his freedom?" Shepard is not exactly happy with making a deal with a man who was part of her kidnapping.

"We could keep him on a type of probation. Check in with him from time to time, spy on him, make sure he is keeping clean, that kind of thing."

"And who would do that? I plan on being on Thessia remember?"

"Yes Skipper, I would take care of it. As a Spectre I feel this is still part of my job."

"And what if I told you that I won't accompany you on the eleven locations?"

Ashley looks at her, "What do you mean?"

"I'm stepping down from the Council remember? I have a family now Ashley, I don't want to put myself in harm's way, not anymore."

"What are you saying, are you retiring from the Alliance?"

Sighing while rubbing the back of her neck Shepard says, "Not sure yet Ash, but I want to be home."

"Yeah..well yeah I get that. I will be here Skipper, so yes I will follow up on the eleven and keep tabs on the doctor."

"And you think he is on the up and up?" asks Shepard. She believes he is telling the truth, she just wants to get Ashley's opinion.

"I do."

"Okay then, let's take care of this then. I want to get back to Liara."

* * *

"She is ready for you Dr. T'Soni."

Liara hears a woman's voice and feels something on her shoulder. She slowly opens her eyes. Nurse Paulsen is standing next to her bed.

"Dr. T'Soni Raina is ready for her feeding."

Yawning and stretching a little Liara sits up. Looking around she does not see Shepard and wonders how long she has been asleep.

As if reading her mind the nurse says, "It has been almost three hours. I am sorry to wake you."

"It is okay," says Liara as she adjusts her hospital gown. She reaches out for her daughter. Nurse Paulsen transfers the infant to her. "Have you seen Captain Shepard?"

"No I have not, sorry. I will be back in a little while to check on you, I will bring your dinner."

"Thank you," says Liara as she pulls Raina close.

"Hi Liara," says Elly as she enters her room.

"Elly, where have you been?"

Shepard leans down and kisses Raina as she suckles on Liara's breast. Smiling she cannot think of a more beautiful moment.

"Talking to the doctor took longer than I thought."

"You look so tired Elly," says Liara.

"Yeah well, I am not the one who just gave birth." Shepard stares at Liara.

Liara is looking down at Raina stroking her little blue cheek with her finger. She feels Elly watching her and looks up. "What?"

"You are just so beautiful Liara, how did I get so lucky?"

Liara smiles, "I could ask the same thing."

Shepard leans in and kisses Liara on the lips capturing the asari's lower lip between her teeth and then slowly pulling away.

Moaning Liara says, "What has gotten into you Elly?"

"I am just so happy Liara. You did an amazing job, Raina is beautiful."

Blushing Liara does not know what to say. "I am happy too, I love you so much Shepard."

"I love you," says Shepard as she ducks her head to kiss her again. She doesn't want to pull away, but does. She leans in to kiss her daughter again before sitting down and covering her mouth as she yawns.

"You need sleep Elly."

"I'm okay."

"You are not. You are exhausted. You can tell me about your talk with the doctor later. I trust everything is okay?"

"Yes, we came to an agreement." Shepard slouches into the chair leaning her head back.

Liara turns her attention back to her daughter. She doesn't want to forget any line on her little hands, her smell, how she moves, how she sounds. She turns to say something to Shepard but closes her mouth before speaking; her bondmate is fast asleep in the chair. This moment, this is a moment Liara will never forget.

* * *

_A/N Just wanted to thank everyone who leaves a review and/or PM's me. It means so, so much I can't even tell you. And thank you to those that follow and favorite the story I appreciate it very much. I will be concluding this story shortly. I have been asked if I will continue with writing about their new family, the answer is yes. I plan on starting a new story that will encompass their life as a family while they adjust to parenthood. _

_I thought it best to start a brand new story that focuses on their life on Thessia instead of adding chapters to this story. Thank you all again for your continued support! *hugs*_


	29. Chapter 29

"I still cannot believe the hotel did all of this," says Liara as she feeds Raina.

Shepard, Liara and Raina left the hospital this morning. Upon returning to the hotel the staff placed items in their room, diapers, portable crib and a few toys. The manager of the hotel said that the staff wanted to help in any way they could. A hot breakfast was just delivered 'on the house' as well.

It was a huge relief to the couple because they were not prepared to have their baby on Earth, they always expected to have it on Thessia; they were ready there, not here.

Shepard is happy not to have to worry about running to the store to grab supplies but she is nervous this morning as she is meeting with Admiral Hackett. She is not looking forward to the conversation which is why she does not really hear Liara talking to her.

"Elly, are you okay?"

Shepard is hugging herself pacing back and forth. She stops suddenly when she feels a hand on her shoulder.

"Liara what?"

"What is it Elly, I have been talking to you, are you okay?"

"Yes…I mean yeah I'll be fine."

"Why don't you eat something before you go," says Liara. She knows Shepard is nervous about her meeting.

"I don't think I can, but thanks. You want me to take her?" Shepard gestures to Raina.

Liara hands the baby over and Shepard starts patting her on her little back to make her burp.

Liara sits at the table to have some breakfast. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it Elly?"

Shepard paces the room with Raina. "I guess I am just not sure what I am going to say."

"Do you want to practice on me?"

Snorting a laugh, "Yeah..no thanks."

"Are you rethinking your decision?"

Shepard stops to look at Liara; she sees the concern in her eyes. "No..no Liara no. I want to retire I just…I don't want to disappoint him."

At this Liara stands and walks over to Shepard. She places her hand on Shepard's back, "That is not going to happen Elly."

Feeling the heat behind her eyes, Shepard steps away from Liara. "I'm not so sure," she says as she looks out at the skyline through the window.

Liara doesn't say anything, she feels for Shepard. The military has been her life for so long she knows this is a difficult decision to leave it. She also knows that Admiral Hackett and the late Admiral David Anderson were like father figures throughout her career, the men mean a lot to her, and it is understandable that she does not want to disappoint Hackett.

"What can I do?" asks Liara.

Raina gives a little burp and Shepard smiles, "There ya go, that was a good one Raina." She turns to Liara sighing, "I'll be fine Liara thanks." She hands Raina back to Liara."I guess I better go get this over with."

Liara stops her and leans in for a kiss.

"What was that for?" asks Shepard.

"I love you Elly and so does the Admiral, just remember that."

"Thanks Liara, I'll be back soon, if you need anything just call me on my omni."

"I will Elly, good luck."

* * *

Walking toward Alliance HQ Shepard cannot stop her mind from racing. She remembers first meeting Admiral Hackett in person when she was recovering from her wounds in the hospital after the Skyllian Blitz. She was on shore leave on Elysium when the colony was attacked by Elanos Haliat who commanded a force of mercenaries and pirates. She quickly rallied a resistance force that day and was able to hold off the ground forces long enough for reinforcements to arrive. Shepard was severely injured and out of commission for a few months in order to recover. Upon waking after her first surgery she found Admiral Hackett sitting next to her bed. He was there to thank her personally for her courage.

Hackett was the one who pinned the Star of Terra on her chest during the award ceremony. The award recognized courageous and distinguished service above and beyond the call of duty. She was regarded as a hero of humanity after that day, though she doesn't like to talk about it, let alone think about it. The number of people who died and how they died are memories that she tries to keep buried, but today it is hard not to think about them.

During the months it took her to recover physically, it took much longer to recover emotionally. She wanted to know why she survived, what made her so special, why did her friends have to die. She put those thoughts out of her mind as best she could, but they reared their ugly head from time to time and today is one of those times.

She has given enough of herself to the military hasn't she? She doesn't want to put herself on the front lines anymore, put herself in danger. She is a father now; she has a new chapter to begin. Admiral Hackett will understand, he has to right? Why would he be angry or disappointed in her for wanting a life, I mean she saved the whole damn galaxy for crying out loud, she deserves a break right? Doesn't she deserve to be happy? If it was only that simple.

* * *

After lying Raina down for her nap, Liara dials Feron on her omni-tool. She has not spoken to her Shadow Broker partner in weeks.

"Hello Liara," the Drell says.

"Hello Feron, how are you?"

"Fine Liara and you?"

"Good. I apologize for not contacting you for so long."

"That's okay, Bria has been helping me and I hope you do not mind."

Bria is Feron's girlfriend. Liara has not met the female Drell.

"How exactly is she helping Feron?"

He hesitates before replying, "She knows everything Liara."

This concerns the asari greatly. The reason why the Shadow Broker's identity is not known is because so few people know who makes up the persona. To hear that another person has that knowledge is disconcerting to say the least.

"I see," is all Liara can say.

"I know what you are thinking Liara, but Bria and I are married now. I will not keep anything from her, I trust her implicitly and I believe you can to."

"Married? When?"

"A month ago."

Surprised that she is just now finding out Liara replies, "Congratulations Feron."

"I am sorry we did not contact you Liara. We decided to have a small ceremony; I hope you are not upset."

"No…well not really. I just wish I had known sooner. I am very happy for you Feron. I hope I get to meet her someday."

"Me too Liara, I think you will really like her."

"I am sure I will. I also have news for you Feron."

"What is it?"

"Shepard and I are parents."

"That is fantastic, congratulations!"

"Thank you Feron. We have named her Raina Samantha Shepard."

"That is a beautiful name. Are you two on Thessia?"

"No not yet. I had Raina a bit early so we are still on Earth. We hope to return to Thessia in a few days. I do hope that someday you two can come for a visit."

"I would like that. I hope you are not upset with my having Bria help. It has been pretty busy lately and well..-"

"I know I have not been around Feron. I am sorry I dropped so much work on you, it was not my intent. I am not angry, I am glad she is able to help. Are you two enjoying the work?"

"Yes, we work very well together."

"I may take a lesser role if you do not mind at least for awhile."

"Liara, you do not need to return at all if you do not want to. I appreciate the help, but do not feel you need to work. You have a child now. That is why I brought Bria on. I assumed your work would decrease when the baby was born."

"Thank you Feron, that is very thoughtful. I may take you up on that. Though doing some work will do me some good. I will contact you again when we are settled on Thessia, maybe a week or so. Then I can see where I can help. Does that sound okay?"

"Yes that is fine, whatever you want Liara. Congratulations again and please give Shepard my best."

"Thank you Feron, please offer my congratulations to Bria and tell her I am looking forward to meeting her."

"I will Liara, good bye."

"Bye."

* * *

"The Admiral will see you now Captain Shepard."

"Thank you Stacy," says Shepard.

Shepard takes a deep breath in and out then enters the Admiral's office.

"Captain Shepard, good to see you," says Admiral Hackett as he gestures for her to have a seat.

Shepard salutes.

"At ease, have a seat."

"Thank you Sir," says Shepard.

"Want some coffee?"

"No thank you Sir."

Hackett pours himself a cup then sits across from Shepard.

"Congratulations again Elly, Raina is beautiful."

Hearing him use her first name makes her blink back her tears, she has been on the verge of crying all the way over here, "Thank you Sir, she certainly is."

"What can I do for you?"

Taking in another breath and letting it out before speaking Shepard finally says "I would like to put in my retirement papers." She doesn't look at him; she doesn't want to see his expression.

Hackett studies her for a minute, she seems uneasy; she is not looking at him. He doesn't want her to retire, though he understands her wanting to, but he cannot think of the Alliance without her. "When?"

"I have the forms filled out already Sir, I want it effective immediately."

Still not looking at him Hackett says, "Elly look at me please."

She looks at him making eye contact. He sees the turmoil in her eyes. "Sounds like you have given this a lot of thought."

"I have yes Sir."

"It's okay Elly; you are allowed to have a life outside of the military."

A sense of relief floods over her, perhaps he is not disappointed in her, maybe it will be okay. She manages a small smile. "I thought you would be disappointed Sir."

"Well I admit Shepard it is hard to think of the Alliance without you being in it. I do have something to run by you first though which may change your mind."

Shaking her head, "I don't think so Sir. I am a father now; I need to focus on my wife and child."

"What if I told you you could do that and remain in the Alliance?"

Shepard is not convinced but she feels she should hear him out. "I'm listening."

"We have been having joint talks with the other species. We are working on cross training if you will among our forces."

"Cross training Sir?"

"Yes, we are looking to have our Alliance men and women train with the different militaries, Asari, Turian even Krogan. We have been in talks for about two months now and even the Council is on board with the idea."

"Really?"

"Yes. We all feel it is a way to keep us united as a galaxy and not fall back into our old ways. The community between specifies since the war has been really good and we want to continue the camaraderie."

"Sooo?"

"So we need someone on Thessia that represents the Alliance. You could remain with us and work with the Chief Commando there to come up with a training program for our men and women. You would be home every night and every weekend excluding overnight training I know the asari commandoes do."

Shepard does not know what to think, it sounds too good to be true. She would be home, still there for her family and still part of the Alliance which has been her home for so long. "I am not sure what to say Sir; I need to discuss this with Liara."

"Of course Shepard. But for now I do not want to accept your retirement papers until you give me your decision. When do you return to Thessia?"

"I hope to soon Sir. I was actually going to ask if we could use the Normandy to get home instead of taking a shuttle."

"Of course Captain, she is still your ship."

"You know Sir, eventually you are going to have to assign someone else command of her. I am no longer a Spectre and if I accept this new role I won't need her anymore."

"I did not realize you had informed the Council of your decision."

"Yes Sir, I told them yesterday."

"How did they take it?"

"Honestly I think some of them were happy about it."

"I highly doubt that Shepard. I know you have had your differences, but they know what they are losing."

"Thank you Sir."

"Well regarding the Normandy, what do you think of my offering her to Commander Williams?"

A big grin appears on Shepard's face, "I think that is perfect Sir, can't think of a better candidate."

"I thought you would agree," he smiles back. "You let me know your decision in the next week or two, does that give you enough time?" he asks as he stands up.

"Yes Sir that should be enough time," she also stands.

"If you want to speak to the Chief Commando to help you decide feel free. You can get the contact information from Stacy."

"Thank you Sir."

Hackett places his hand on her shoulder, "I am proud of you Elly, for everything you have done. Please don't ever forget that."

It is all she can do to not cry right in front of the man, she quickly blinks "Thank you Sir," she manages to look him in the eye, "Thank you for everything."

He pats her on the shoulder, "Enjoy your family, talk to you soon."

She doesn't trust her voice right now so she only nods and then leaves his office. She stops by Stacy's desk to get the contact information for the Chief Commando. This is something she was not expecting, she is not sure what to think. She never thought of herself as a trainer, but it sounds like a perfect fit. She will have to wait and see what Liara has to say.

Before heading back to the hotel Shepard sends out a communication that she expects Joker and a small crew to report to the Normandy tomorrow at 1300 hours; destination Thessia.

* * *

Shepard enters their hotel room being sure to keep quiet just in case anyone is sleeping. Crossing the room she looks inside the portable crib to see Raina sleeping. Shepard watches the rise and fall of her little chest for awhile. She is not sure how long she was standing there, she jumps a little when she feels Liara wrap her arms around her from behind.

"She just went down," she says as she kisses Shepard on the back of her shoulder.

"She is so little," Shepard says as she covers her arms over Liara's, leaning back into her.

"She is the correct size I assure you."

Stifling a laugh Shepard says, "I am sure she is Doctor, I just meant..she is so small. It's hard to believe we all start out that small."

Liara tightens her arms around Shepard smiling into her back. "How did your talk go?"

"It was…interesting to say the least."

Turning her into her arms to face her Liara asks, "What do you mean?"

Shepard leans in and kisses Liara fully on her lips. "Hmmm I missed you."

"Do not try to change the subject Elly."

Shepard steps out of their hug and takes her hand to follow her to the couch.

She explains to Liara what Hackett mentioned about her new role if she chooses to accept it. Being the best of both worlds, staying in the military while being home at 'normal' times to spend time with her family she doesn't see any flaws in the opportunity. Liara seems open to the idea and likes the fact that they do not have to make a decision right away.

"I sent out a communication to some of the crew to report to the Normandy tomorrow at 1300 hours, I thought it would be okay to arrange our way home tomorrow."

"Really, oh Elly that is fantastic! There is so much to do before we leave," she says as she starts to get up off the couch.

Elly grabs hold of her hand, "Hold on a minute doctor."

Liara sits down furrowing her brow, "What?"

"She just went down for her nap?" asks Shepard as she raises her eyebrows.

"Yes about..-"

Liara is interrupted by Shepard's lips mashing into hers. Shepard pulls away, takes her hand and leads her into the bedroom.

* * *

"What's this?" asks Shepard as she sees her entire squad at the Normandy docking bay.

Alhe steps up, "We wanted to accompany you to Thessia Captain; I hope that is okay."

Shepard looks at her squad, Alhe, Langer, Bering and even Nicols are there waiting to board the ship.

"Permission to board Captain," says Alhe.

Shepard looks at Liara who is holding Raina and smiles, "Permission granted."

The group grabs their luggage and boards the Normandy. "We will put your things in your cabin Shepard," says Bering.

"Thanks."

Entering the ship Shepard turns left to greet Joker. "Hello Joker."

"Shepard we will be ready to go in fifteen minutes."

Placing her hand on his shoulder she says, "Thanks Joker."

"Hey Captain."

Shepard moves beside his chair so they can look at each other, "What's up?"

"Look..ah..I feel like we are close to saying good bye to each other and I ah…well I just wanted to say that it has been an honor Captain."

Surprised at his showing emotions; true emotions, Shepard manages to say "It has been an honor for me too Joker." Clearing her throat she continues, "I hope this isn't goodbye though, I hope you will visit Thessia from time to time, you are always welcome."

"Thanks Shepard."

Shepard walks through the CIC nodding to the small crew as she goes. She takes the elevator to her quarters to find Liara and Raina. The portable crib to the right of the door, "I thought having the crib here would be better than down by our bed," says Liara.

"Yeah, looks good. I don't suspect I will need to sit at the desk anyway," says Shepard as she takes Raina into her arms. "Hey little blue, how are you? Are you ready for your first ride on a space ship?"

Liara smiles as she hears Shepard use her baby voice to talk to Raina.

"It is nice that your squad mates are here Elly."

"Yeah. I guess I didn't really think about how hard it is going to be to say goodbye to all of them. Joker about made me cry."

"What..why?"

Seeing the look on Liara's face Shepard quickly says, "No..no.. not in a bad way. He just told me that this felt like goodbye and that it has been an honor serving with me."

Liara steps closer to hug the two. "Did you tell him that he has an open invitation to visit us?"

Kissing her on her cheek Shepard replies, "I did tell him that yes."

"Are you okay Elly?"

"Yes of course. I can't wait to get home. I can't wait to see Raina grow, hear her first word, take her first steps; I wouldn't miss it for the world Liara. I told you I don't want to be apart from you ever again."

Kissing her Liara pulls back, kisses little Raina and says, "I love you both so much."

Elly replies with a big smile, "And we love you too."

* * *

_A/N Hello again - this concludes Dreams Fulfilled. I will be starting a new story soon that will be a continuation of family life. Thank you again to everyone who has left a review and/or PM. Your encouragement really helps me to continue to write and truly makes my day. Thank you to those that also follow and favorite me, it means a lot. Feedback is always, always welcome as I am open to learning and improving. Take care all and see you hopefully in the next story!_


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